- Jan 11, 2012
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So true, we depend on him totallyI believe that nothing is too hard for our Lord!
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So true, we depend on him totallyI believe that nothing is too hard for our Lord!
Loving His Goodness!...yes, we are blessed,
I slept again last night and feel well today,
God is good...
Thankyou Gregory for this moving testimony. Yes God is truely gracious and wonderfulAt about 13 my life started to get dark, I never was one who could make friends or fit in. I started to have hatered and depression fill my mind . I had a dream, I was looking at a van driving down a deserted road, in the desert. My point of view was from the side afar off. I seen a face in the sky it wasn't clear, it was dark red. However I could tell it was a face, I heard this noise I can only discribe as a angry scream. Then felt a level of hate and evil that shook me . I bought a Bible and started trying to read the old testament , I fell off track before I got to the Gospel. I put the dream behind me and bought a copy of mein kamph. The ideology of national socialism took hold of me , molded my hatred . I became a radical believer in it, beliving all non white europeans were sub human. This lasted for a long time and I only got more radical. I started printing flyers at 14-15 and posting them up in my neighborhood. I posted a paper that read "thank God for concentration camps" in front of a Jewish hall. Until around 15 I would regularly put a loaded gun to my head, as I was void of hope. Begging to pull the trigger ,yet I never could. No matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn't. I also was active in skimming the Bible to find verses , I could pervert to fit my ideology. By around 20 my life had been reduced to nothing. The only woman I had ever been with and was with since 15. I found out was sleeping with my co worker, now my suicidal thoughts returned worse then ever. I turned to drugs and alcohol anything that would numb the me. Almost daily I would stand in front of my mirror with my pistol to my head, crying trying to once again end it. Yet I still couldn't, I hit rock bottom when my truck broke down, I had to walk 10 miles to and from work ,in the Missouri summer. I was at my true end. Then I felt a nudge. With nothing left , I reopened the Bible to the Gospel and for the
first time in my life, I started reading. Not to find something to use to advance my agenda, but to know what it truly said. My eyes were opened and heart softened, I found Christ. Truly He loves us. For a person who has never felt love, this was truly remarkable. I was hooked, I accepted Christ, denounced national socialism. I threw away my flags and books on it. I hit a stombling stone, I became legalistic however revelation led me out of it. Praise be to Christ! I am still far from where I should be, I truly am a sinful man. The Lord is faithful and is my rock, He is where my hope is. I have had a dream after being saved, there was a multitude of "people" ,evil radiated from them . They said they were ether coming for me or wanted me I don't remember. I do remember though ,I professed my faith in Christ, professed His rule over them, that they have already lost! A feeling of peace and safety fell on me, even in the face of this evil. My brothers and sister's our Lord is gracious and wonderful, beyond words !
Thank you brother praise be to Christ ! With Him nothing is impossible! Is there a forum for those who are depressed/suicidal? If so may I get the link, perhaps Christ can use me to help them.Thankyou Gregory for this moving testimony. Yes God is truely gracious and wonderful
Thanks for sharing with us and may God bless and your future in Him!
There is a forum on Christian Forums for Depression Disorders. Be blessed and built up in the Lord Jesus Christ in your daily life through the Word of God and His Holy Spirit and you will bless and build up others. Praying for you,Gregory.Thank you brother praise be to Christ ! With Him nothing is impossible! Is there a forum for those who are depressed/suicidal? If so may I get the link, perhaps Christ can use me to help them.
There is a forum on Christian Forums for Depression Disorders. Be blessed and built up in the Lord Jesus Christ in your daily life through the Word of God and His Holy Spirit and you will bless and build up others. Praying for you,Gregory.