Teens and Privacy?

[Cimorene]

Not for me. I have earned their trust. Plus I wouldn't have anything to hide anyways. Pretty much anyone could read my texts and I wouldn't care...they would be bored anyways. Haha
My parents do monitor my 15 year old sister but it's because she has broken their trust too many times, and she is very immature. She simply would rather risk getting caught then to have integrity. She's earned that, so I don't feel sorry for her.

I'm just curious what parents thought about it.

What has she done that's broken their trust that much they still treat her that way at 15?

Edit. I'm sorry if that's asking too personal of a q. I'm just really surprised. It's not that uncommon for parents to still monitor kids in my grade but it's more like a time thing then what they're doing. Or following their online activity which everybody can see. Reading texts, email, all that, I can't imagine at 15. Under 13 but not over unless you've really done something major.

 

[Saricharity]

What has she done that's broken their trust that much they still treat her that way at 15?

Edit. I'm sorry if that's asking too personal of a q. I'm just really surprised. It's not that uncommon for parents to still monitor kids in my grade but it's more like a time thing then what they're doing. Or following their online activity which everybody can see. Reading texts, email, all that, I can't imagine at 15. Under 13 but not over unless you've really done something major.

My parents have always done random checks. They have always said technology is a privilege not a right...and we need to use it responsibly. My sister has been caught several times doing things she shouldn't plus just being dishonest and sneaky. She wouldn't have my parents distrusting her if she hadn't broken their trust. Hopefully she will mature and realise she needs to have integrity. She's just going through a rebellious phase now I think.

 

[Cimorene]

My parents have always done random checks. They have always said technology is a privilege not a right...and we need to use it responsibly. My sister has been caught several times doing things she shouldn't plus just being dishonest and sneaky. She wouldn't have my parents distrusting her if she hadn't broken their trust. Hopefully she will mature and realise she needs to have integrity. She's just going through a rebellious phase now I think.

Doesn't that tempt her to be more rebellious? I would be tempted to be sneakier if my parents were that OTT intrusive. My parents did checks when I was much younger but not now. They'll tell me to get off my phone & get stuff done sometimes but that's it. I'd have a hard time if they were reading my email, texts. I have nothing to hide but that's not really the point. It's just a violation. Unless she was doing something like making plans to meet up w strangers from the internet Idk how it could be OK. If she's doing something THAT dangerous or is bullying then OK. Otherwise I think there's way better ways to handle it than invading privacy to that extent.

 

[Cimorene]

My parents have always done random checks. They have always said technology is a privilege not a right...and we need to use it responsibly. My sister has been caught several times doing things she shouldn't plus just being dishonest and sneaky. She wouldn't have my parents distrusting her if she hadn't broken their trust. Hopefully she will mature and realise she needs to have integrity. She's just going through a rebellious phase now I think.

I realized that my parents could check my email & my insta, sites like that bc I've used the same password on pretty much everything for yrs now. I know you shouldn't do that but it just makes it a lot simpler. I asked my mom. She promised me they've never snooped on me. She's gotten into my accounts by accident before like on sites like Facebook if I'm using the computer in the great room & I haven't logged out but she logs out of my account immediately. I'm so glad I can trust my parents!! How is your sister using technology so irresponsibly?

 

[Sketcher]

Monitor them, absolutely. Why do they even have phones?

 

[Cimorene]

Are you asking why teens even have phones? I can see why you'd question why little kids would have phones but for teens it's really different. Especially for teens who are 15+. We have phones for a lot of the same reasons people over 20 do, like safety & basic communication needs. There's not as many pay phones like when my parents were teens, & we're not with adults all the time like we were when we were little to use their phones if needed. Some of my friends already have jobs & I'm applying for one right now. I think having a way for employers to get in touch with me directly is an asset. We use the apps on our smartphones for news, directions, keeping track of our calendar, stuff like that.

My parents monitored my phone when I was way younger but always with me knowing they would. They would just reserve the right to check, but they didn't do so obsessively. Since I was about 12, 13 there hasn't been that need bc they did a good job teaching me to be responsible on my phone & online. They don't break my trust by spying on me & I don't break their trust by doing something on my phone or the internet they wouldn't want me to do.

 

[Cimorene]

I thought about this today bc my dad read my texts to me bc I asked him to when I was driving & some came in. They were private but I hadn't known that. He stopped reading it & he said I should read the texts later, bc they were private & he wouldn't want to embarrass my friend. Do your parents still read your 16 yr old sister's texts & emails? If they do, do her friends know that they do?

 

[Saricharity]

My parents do random checks, but I wouldn't say they read every text. For instance, my dad discovered this one boy sent my sister an inappropriate picture over DM during a random check. My dad DM'd him and warned him to never do that again. Several months later during a random check, my dad found another and my sister had repeatedly asked him not to do it. She didn't want to block him because she cares about him. My dad called his dad and told him his son sent a inappropriate picture. Random checks keep everyone accountable.

 

[Cimorene]

My parents do random checks, but I wouldn't say they read every text. For instance, my dad discovered this one boy sent my sister an inappropriate picture over DM during a random check. My dad DM'd him and warned him to never do that again. Several months later during a random check, my dad found another and my sister had repeatedly asked him not to do it. She didn't want to block him because she cares about him. My dad called his dad and told him his son sent a inappropriate picture. Random checks keep everyone accountable.

My parents have put more of an emphasis on training us on how to be accountable for ourselves & accountable to God bc God knows all we do even if they don't. I think they and my schools have done a really good job with teaching me and my sibs & friends about how to be safe and smart online. When I joined this forum a friend who'd been here longer warned me to be as careful and cautious here as on other sites bc even though it's a Christian forum there's plenty of people whose behaviour isn't Christianly. She said to never give out my last name or personal contact info to anybody here, which totally makes sense. There are wolves in sheep's clothing everywhere. She told me about how when your older sister was a member here she started PM'ing & then talking off the forum with this man who was like in his 40s or something when she was like 16 or 17. That she was super sweet & had a heart to want to help people & unfortunately he took advantage of her bc of that. I asked her how come your parents let your sister talk to some strange man who was way older & she said she didn't think they knew about it until things got really bad. That she left here bc of it. Knowing about your sister's bad experience is actually the reason why I've always had my PM settings so that nobody can write to me except mods.

When I saw this thread I thought maybe that was why your parents are so strict about the internet & privacy, bc they're worried the same thing could happen to you & younger sister who I think is in the same grade as me. I still thought that maybe being that strict was kind of counterproductive, bc it can make teens be sneakier to get around the rules instead of just being open & working with their parents on fair compromises. Then a few months after this thread had been made I was warned by somebody else about this man here who is in his 30s & has made friends with teen girls, bc he has a history of being a sexual predator! It was serious enough that a mod turned the stuff about him over to law enforcement! So I asked my friend about him to see if she knew about him. She did, she said he'd always been kind & decent to her but she always kept her guard way up bc she knew about his history. She'd been invited to join this group chat on Skype & then he added her. She always Googles someone's SN before she talks to them on Skype, so she'd found the pages about him where he admitted to asking underage girls for nude photos & stuff. She said she hoped that maybe he'd repented bc she knew that you & that man had been Skyping for like a year already by then, since back when you were underage. She didn't think you'd keep talking to him for so long if he'd been a pervert to you. Bc of this thread I was majorly surprised & so confused that you'd talk to a man you'd never met IRL when you were in HS & he was in his 30s! I didn't think your parents would allow something like that if they're that strict, especially after what happened to your sister bc of the older man she met here when she was a minor. Mine definitely don't allow that, bc that's like the most basic rule for teen internet safety, don't Skype with men you've never met IRL who are way older than you. She said she didn't know if your parents knew about it bc the man has a unisex name & he had changed his pic on Skype to something more girly so that if your dad checked he wouldn't realize you were talking to an older man. I'm glad if he hasn't ever done anything bad with you but you still have to be careful bc there's thing predators do called grooming. It's when they make friends with kids, and then after earning their trust they exploit them. I know you're an adult now but I'd still be careful. I don't talk to adults on Skype. My parents' rule is that if I add anybody to Skype, it has to be another teen and I have to ask 1st and they have to approve it. Like I made friends with a boy here who is super lonely bc he's forced to homeschool & he's super nice, but he's the exact same age as me & my parents said I could add him after they read some of his posts. My parents don't monitor my activity otherwise anymore. They did when I was younger & still learning but now I can self-manage. I honour their rules bc they're really reasonable & are designed to protect me. In turn they give me my privacy bc they know they can trust me.

 

[Saricharity]

Cimorene,

I have no idea who you are talking about.
I do have a few friends on Skype who are much older than me. One who is his 30's I believe. We've been casual chat friends for years. We only ever talked about our faith. He is Catholic and I am Baptist. He always tries to convert me. Our conversations have always been pure. We haven't spoken much in the past year because I've been so busy and don't use Skype much anymore.
Sorry, it's been a long time since I've been on this site. I've been very busy with school and life. Not much time to come to this forum plus this place gives me migraines more times than not
But, yah, I have no idea who you are referring too. I don't speak with anyone on Skype who is a sexual predator. I have lots and lots of people I chat with on skype. Some I have met here but mostly people I know IRL. I would never chat with someone who asked me for inappropriate pictures. If anyone did, I would delete them immediately. I know what grooming is and I'm intelligent enough to know if it was happening. Thanks for your concern though.
I'm not sure who told you that, but they are mistaken.