Teens and Privacy?

[Saricharity]

I'm curious to know your thoughts on teens and privacy.
Do you think its appropriate to monitor teens phones and technology with such apps as Teensafe. Why or why not?

Do you think teens should just be trusted? Or do you feel justified because your teen is under 18 and its your job as a parent to monitor what they do online?

Do you think it invades their privacy? Do teens have the right to privacy on these devices?

Thanks in advance for your insights.

 

[Widlast]

I'm curious to know your thoughts on teens and privacy.
Do you think its appropriate to monitor teens phones and technology with such apps as Teensafe. Why or why not?

Do you think teens should just be trusted? Or do you feel justified because your teen is under 18 and its your job as a parent to monitor what they do online?

Do you think it invades their privacy? Do teens have the right to privacy on these devices?

Thanks in advance for your insights.

I have two teen boys, 16 and 14.
Both have access to computers, ipads, and such, but all of such use is done near the living room where all the activity can easily be monitored by my wife or myself. About the only time they spend alone in their rooms is sleeping.
Teens have no right to privacy.
Once they are on their own they can be as private or public as they please, but while they live with me I reserve the right to know what's going on in my own house with my own family.
I have also made it quite plain to them that there really is no such thing as true privacy, you can't hide your actions from God.

 

[Saricharity]

So would you go so far as to read their emails, text messages etc? Do you monitor which apps they have on their phone?

 

[farout]

I have two teen boys, 16 and 14.
Both have access to computers, ipads, and such, but all of such use is done near the living room where all the activity can easily be monitored by my wife or myself. About the only time they spend alone in their rooms is sleeping.
Teens have no right to privacy.
Once they are on their own they can be as private or public as they please, but while they live with me I reserve the right to know what's going on in my own house with my own family.
I have also made it quite plain to them that there really is no such thing as true privacy, you can't hide your actions from God.

I totally agree. Even today with grown adult married children and yes grandchildren, my wife regularly reads their face books. She has even found out things that we would have never know otherwise. One daughter is suffering some depression and has some physical health issues she dod not tell us. So keeping up with what the "kids" are into, no matter what the age is is very important!

When out last daughter finally left the nest cell phones were in full bloom. While in H> S> we found out daughter has lied to us. We were able th stop something that would have really messed he up. My wife went and looked in their belongings and was on top of things. As long as a child is in your house it is very important to check up on them very regularly.

 

[Widlast]

So would you go so far as to read their emails, text messages etc? Do you monitor which apps they have on their phone?

They don't have personal phones right now (they don't need them) but they have in the past.
I knew exactly what apps were on their phones because I paid for said apps, they had to get the apps by my account.

 

[farout]

They don't have personal phones right now (they don't need them) but they have in the past.
I knew exactly what apps were on their phones because I paid for said apps, they had to get the apps by my account.

You are a great father, you will be glad you have done as you are doing!

 

[Widlast]

It is amazing the things that can crop up if you don't pay attention.

A friend of my wife has a 21 year old daughter and 19 year old son. She had always been a bit of a rebel (the daughter), and was more than a bit disobedient to her mother. When she went off to college she staid (supposedly) in on campus housing. A year and a half into it the parents find out that she had been living the entire time with her boyfriend while they were paying for her to live in the housing. There's 10 grand down the loo.
The son has done little better, seems he's developed a taste for marijuana and spends his free time getting stoned.
This didn't happen over night. The signs were there ten years ago. Now they have an irresponsible [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and a stoner for kids.
And these are "born agains" no less.

 

[farout]

It is amazing the things that can crop up if you don't pay attention.

A friend of my wife has a 21 year old daughter and 19 year old son. She had always been a bit of a rebel (the daughter), and was more than a bit disobedient to her mother. When she went off to college she staid (supposedly) in on campus housing. A year and a half into it the parents find out that she had been living the entire time with her boyfriend while they were paying for her to live in the housing. There's 10 grand down the loo.
The son has done little better, seems he's developed a taste for marijuana and spends his free time getting stoned.
This didn't happen over night. The signs were there ten years ago. Now they have an irresponsible [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and a stoner for kids.
And these are "born agains" no less.

I seldom hear someone call the restroom, a Loo. In the navy we called it the head. Are you from the UK or some place close to that?

 

[Widlast]

You are a great father, you will be glad you have done as you are doing!

I don't know about that. I can't provide them the youth I had, we lived in a rural area and I had lots of farm responsibilities, but I also had freedoms that modern kids could only dream of. I'm just trying to point them in the right direction so that they can grow up to be sober, responsible, sane adults, and be right with God.

Ha ha, just saw my previous post, I love the text filters.

 

[Widlast]

I seldom hear someone call the restroom, a Loo. In the navy we called it the head. Are you from the UK or some place close to that?

When I was a toddler and learning to speak, my parents friends were English and Japanese. It left indelible marks on my speech habits.

 

[farout]

I don't know about that. I can't provide them the youth I had, we lived in a rural area and I had lots of farm responsibilities, but I also had freedoms that modern kids could only dream of. I'm just trying to point them in the right direction so that they can grow up to be sober, responsible, sane adults, and be right with God.

Ha ha, just saw my previous post, I love the text filters.

We did the best we could to teach our kids to love G-d and respect others, and be responsible. Now I tell my grandsons that I want them to grow into G-dly men. They respect me and we show love to each other, but still I know young men still have the temptations of the devil to contend with. I prsy for all our grandchildren all 11 of them!

 

[Widlast]

We did the best we could to teach our kids to love G-d and respect others, and be responsible. Now I tell my grandsons that I want them to grow into G-dly men. They respect me and we show love to each other, but still I know young men still have the temptations of the devil to contend with. I prsy for all our grandchildren all 11 of them!

My wife is from India, so we tell the boys that they don't have to be concerned about girls. When the time comes we'll fly on over there and find them wives. Funny enough we've already had a couple of offers.
But you're spot on about the "temptations of the devil". If he gets a toe in the door pretty soon the gap will be wide enough to drive a bus through. Prayer and vigilance will keep him at bay.

 

[Cimorene]

I go to an OHS so my parents would have way too much to monitor if they read everything I did online. They have no reason to do that bc they did a really great job at teaching me how to be safe online & how to treat ppl right. No way would I ever do anything bad like cyber bully or stupid like give away my personal info to a stranger. Hand to God I've never done anything they'd need to be worried about anyway. I don't even cuss, not bc I'm scared of getting caught. It's just not a classy thing to do.

 

[WolfGate]

Right to privacy? No. Can they earn freedom and trust. Sure.

It was an interesting little dance with my daughter when she was in her early teens. Her phone has to charge every night out in the living room. We read texts, checked browsing history, etc. very regularly. She knew we did that, however we never mentioned it to her giving her the illusion of privacy as it were. If we saw something concerning (never anything major) we found a way to work the topic into a discussion with her but did not get into specifics of her text. So she truthfully felt monitored or untrusted or invaded or any of those things. Now as she approaches the end of her time in our house, we still read them once in a while but not all that often. And if she falls asleep with the phone in her room instead of charging one night we don't say anything about it. She has earned and continues to earn that trust.

 

[Cimorene]

Right to privacy? No. Can they earn freedom and trust. Sure.

It was an interesting little dance with my daughter when she was in her early teens. Her phone has to charge every night out in the living room. We read texts, checked browsing history, etc. very regularly. She knew we did that, however we never mentioned it to her giving her the illusion of privacy as it were. If we saw something concerning (never anything major) we found a way to work the topic into a discussion with her but did not get into specifics of her text. So she truthfully felt monitored or untrusted or invaded or any of those things. Now as she approaches the end of her time in our house, we still read them once in a while but not all that often. And if she falls asleep with the phone in her room instead of charging one night we don't say anything about it. She has earned and continues to earn that trust.

My parents were kind of that way up until I was about 12-13. They would have me leave my phone downstairs to charge overnight mainly so I would go to sleep. That and we were always losing chargers so having 1 place just made things more organized. They would monitor it sometimes. I knew they would so it wasn't like an invasion or privacy. They'd never read anything of mine on the sly! They haven't monitored me in a really long time. I turned 16 in January. No way would they read my texts or emails or monitor my internet history now. Bc they don't need to! They trust me. They know I make smart choices. The most they'll do now is tell me to manage my time carefully. I go to a really intense online HS. We have way more work to do than most high schoolers. We do it on our own time. I'm also getting my certificates in music. So I have to be really self disciplined. I'm pretty good about staying on task. I run or play online now & then to keep my brain from getting tired but then I get back to finishing what I've got to do. Some kids at my school have a tougher time with that & their parents will take away their games, phones, stuff like that temporarily. I don't know of anybody in HS who still has their parents reading their texts or monitoring what they do online though. That's OTT IMO unless the teen has done something that has broken their trust or is immature.

 

[Cimorene]

So would you go so far as to read their emails, text messages etc? Do you monitor which apps they have on their phone?

Is that what your parents do?

 

[farout]

Right to privacy? No. Can they earn freedom and trust. Sure.

It was an interesting little dance with my daughter when she was in her early teens. Her phone has to charge every night out in the living room. We read texts, checked browsing history, etc. very regularly. She knew we did that, however we never mentioned it to her giving her the illusion of privacy as it were. If we saw something concerning (never anything major) we found a way to work the topic into a discussion with her but did not get into specifics of her text. So she truthfully felt monitored or untrusted or invaded or any of those things. Now as she approaches the end of her time in our house, we still read them once in a while but not all that often. And if she falls asleep with the phone in her room instead of charging one night we don't say anything about it. She has earned and continues to earn that trust.

That's shows good parenting!

 

[JCFantasy23]

My mother always told me when I had my son that kids should have a small sense of privacy and personal space for healthy development. We were both outraged when my friends read their teenager daughter's diary just because they knew she had one. When it comes to online and communication, especially in today's age, you have to be careful to protect your children and put in common sense where they haven't developed it yet. Some kids handle it better than others and do give more reasons to trust - others you have to watch more often. With my son, I don't have as much concern since he doesn't enjoy the internet other than YouTube, and I know what he watches on there. I hear who he speaks to through his headset and know all the people (a group of regulars he went to school with, and they spend the night often). He doesn't like Facebook or Twitter or anything like that, so I haven't had a cause for watching more than I do.

 

[Saricharity]

Is that what your parents do?

Not for me. I have earned their trust. Plus I wouldn't have anything to hide anyways. Pretty much anyone could read my texts and I wouldn't care...they would be bored anyways. Haha
My parents do monitor my 15 year old sister but it's because she has broken their trust too many times, and she is very immature. She simply would rather risk getting caught then to have integrity. She's earned that, so I don't feel sorry for her.

I'm just curious what parents thought about it.

 

[Saricharity]

I'm just trying to point them in the right direction so that they can grow up to be sober, responsible, sane adults, and be right with God.

I think this is admirable and the wish of every good parent.