Teaching Kindergarteners About Consent

[SummerMadness]

Teaching Kindergarteners About Consent

If you're hugging your friend and they say stop, you have to stop," Isy Abraham-Raveson explained to a room full of kindergarteners at Montclair Cooperative School, which teaches nursery school through eighth grade, this May. "It doesn't mean they don't love you... You have to stop because this is their body."

Most American schools don't require sex ed until high school, according to a 2014 study conducted by the CDC. But with Chicago Public Schools and Florida's Broward County Public Schools mandating sex ed in kindergarten and the American Public Health Association recommending it, some sex educators are pushing for an earlier start to sex ed. Abraham-Raveson, curriculum writer for New Jersey-based education organization YES!: Your Empowered Sexuality, is one of them.

 

[dgiharris]

American attitudes regarding sex and death are archaic.

Kids should be taught about these things as soon as they have the mental capacity to understand and a rudimentary level

So I'm all for kids learning the basics at kindergarten.

Unfortunately, it won't be long until someone equates "basic" consent discussions with full on "shoving inappropriate content down kids throats..." slippery slope arguments...

 

[SummerMadness]

It is precisely that attitude that has children become victims of sexual assault at a young age or later on. I was surprised to hear many parents do not teach their kids about non-consensual touching; the great thing about this program is it goes beyond strangers and is more about personal space. Some people may not make this connection, but forcing your children to hug or interact with people when they do not want to interact with someone is part of the problem because the formalities and niceness of human interaction become a trap.

People that sexually harass and assault others often use power and authority, but they also use tactics I've seen overseas used by scam artists. They use people's politeness against them, particularly using awkward social situations to their advantage. I think part of breaking that pattern is making situations where everyone is more comfortable and vocal about their boundaries commonplace. But you have to start at a young age.

 

[TNF_13]

Parents often do not teach consent, and even model that it does not matter by telling them to hug relatives, give them a hug, etc. And yes, that very much impedes a child's ability to go to a trusted adult if someone is sexually abusing them. Children already have enough reasons not to tell- adding to that by not teaching proper sex ed is not wise.

 

[SummerMadness]

Parents often do not teach consent, and even model that it does not matter by telling them to hug relatives, give them a hug, etc. And yes, that very much impedes a child's ability to go to a trusted adult if someone is sexually abusing them. Children already have enough reasons not to tell- adding to that by not teaching proper sex ed is not wise.

"Don't be rude," is the phrase you're likely to hear. I was reading the op-ed written by Lupita N'yongo and her entire ordeal seemed like "don't be rude" on a grander scale. At the same time, you could see how Harvey Weinstein used social situations to get what he wanted. I'm buying you a drink and I'll make a scene unless you take it, so "don't be rude" runs through your mind and you take the drink. Why? It's embarrassing. Then you're invited to a producer's home for a screening, his son is there, he asks you to come see something, but you want to finish the film. He is threatening to make a scene, "don't be rude," you don't want to have something like this happen in front of a child, so you go along. And the thing is, it starts when you're young, when you're told to hug relatives, even when you don't want to, but "don't be rude." I think it's important to learn that no one is being rude for not consenting; everything from a hug or handshake all the way to an intimate partner is a two-way street (regardless of age).