Tapping one's foot means what?

[PreachersWife2004]

Could we demonize all homosexuals a bit more in this thread please? I'm not quite sure I'm fully seeing the horns and tail yet.

Well hold on. Let's see how this came about:

If I'm in a bathroom and I hear a tapping and I assume it's because someone wants to have anonymous sex with me, it's also safe to assume that the person in the bathroom is of the same sex as me - it's rather hard to enter the opposite sex bathroom with causing any stir whatsoever, and a guy entering a bathroom hoping to get lucky with a girl is probably a little out there.

So I can honestly see why this would be perceived as a homosexual thing versus a heterosexual thing.

Plain old sex in the bathroom? That I'll say is both homosexual and heterosexual.

 

[Archer93]

Odd... I'm moderatly up on gay subculture and I've never heard of the foot-tapping routine- I wonder if it's USA specific?
I've been told by various parties that the way it's done in the UK is eye contact at the urinal and the lack of speaking- so that if a chap isn't up for it he only has to say something at all- 'Morning', 'Afternoon', 'Nice day' etc, and it's clear that he's only there to urinate.
I wonder if the foot-tapping thing isn't a throwback to the days before the ubiquity of personal stereos and iPods. If you don't have music playing in your ears you won't have much of a reason to tap your foot.

Police officers would go undercover in public toilets to entrap men seeking sex with other men, or otherwise spying-
Policing with Prejudice
I think, though I may be mis-remembering and I can't find a source, that that was how John Gielgud was caught out. Entrapment is Just Not On.

As Stephen Fry depicted in his book 'The Liar Bird', one act which is arrestable in public (defecation) is permissable within a toilet cubical, whilst another act (homosexual activity) is not.
As for condemnation of sexual activity in toilet cubicals, in the gay clubs Ghetto, G.A.Y. and Popstarz there are signs on the doors to the effect that sexual activity in the toilets is not permitted and the perpetrators will be ejected from the premises and banned. Same as for drug use.

 

[b&wpac4]

Well hold on. Let's see how this came about:

If I'm in a bathroom and I hear a tapping and I assume it's because someone wants to have anonymous sex with me, it's also safe to assume that the person in the bathroom is of the same sex as me - it's rather hard to enter the opposite sex bathroom with causing any stir whatsoever, and a guy entering a bathroom hoping to get lucky with a girl is probably a little out there.

So I can honestly see why this would be perceived as a homosexual thing versus a heterosexual thing.

Plain old sex in the bathroom? That I'll say is both homosexual and
heterosexual.

Yes but ALL homosexuals do this? That seems to be a theme in the thread.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Yes but ALL homosexuals do this? That seems to be a theme in the thread.

No, it's just being touted as something within the homosexual culture.

 

[b&wpac4]

No, it's just being touted as something within the homosexual culture.

that's not what I have a problem with (Yes, I have a problem with sex in public restrooms, I don't have a problem with people pointing out that sometimes homosexuals do the foot-tapping whatever to get it). I do have a problem when several posters present it as if every homosexual engages in this activity, which I have seen suggested but not outright said.

 

[Archer93]

No, it's just being touted as something within the homosexual culture.

Declaring all homosexuals to be dysfunctional promiscuous disease-spreading abusers who are terrible parents seems to be within the Christian culture, but I don't paint all of you with that brush.
Might you return the favour?

 

[Braunwyn]

Is it moral or ethical for homosexuals to display their wares to see what happens next?

Is it moral when heterosexuals do it? No. I don't know why you ask the question towards homosexuals. Not that orientation matters.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Declaring all homosexuals to be dysfunctional promiscuous disease-spreading abusers who are terrible parents seems to be within the Christian culture, but I don't paint all of you with that brush.
Might you return the favour?

Erm, point that gun elsewhere, sweetie. I'm not the person you want to be throwing that around at.

 

[quatona]

Is it moral or ethical for homosexuals to display their wares to see what happens next?

Is it moral or ethical for heterosexuals?

 

[quatona]

Erm, point that gun elsewhere, sweetie. I'm not the person you want to be throwing that around at.

Seems like you missed his point completely. I´d like to be able to explain it better than he did, but I can´t think of a way to do that.

 

[Archer93]

Erm, point that gun elsewhere, sweetie. I'm not the person you want to be throwing that around at.

That was my point. I don't recall you saying anything like that, but it was all drawn from threads on this forum, in posts made by people who display a Christian icon.
You also display a Christian icon, but that doesn't mean that you espouse those very unpleasant opinions. I would be wrong to think that you did.

Christians are a large and disparate group, unified only by their acceptance of the Nicean Creed. The opinions and behaviour of some of the group are not followed by many others.
Homosexuals are a large and disparate group, unified only by their sexuality. The opinions and behaviour of some of the group are not followed by many others.

Do you see?

 

[wanderingone]

He must have been jolly limber to be able to display his, erm, equipment under a stall. Unless the gap under the stalls at Macy's are knee high....
Is there a link to the story? (Appologies if it's already been posted.)

I asked about that as well.. guess there was no answer...
I mean I know the stalls usually don't go to the floor... but geez.. most people I know (no matter what orientation) aren't inclined to actually get down on the floor of a restroom....

 

[wanderingone]

The story
Boy Talks About Man's Alleged Sex Act in Macy's Bathroom | NBC Philadelphia

Kid was 12, guy apparently was scoping out the bathroom all day, sounds like an exhibitionist who was waiting for people to expose himself to, and thought claiming he was invited would be better than admitting he likes to expose him self. I still want to know how high the bottoms of those stall walls are, might as well use urinals if there's that little privacy, at least you aren't cornered in a small space when someone freak decides to show you his penis.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Seems like you missed his point completely. I´d like to be able to explain it better than he did, but I can´t think of a way to do that.

No, I didn't miss the point at all.

I merely pointed out that it's been said that this foot tapping thing is a part of homosexual culture - that was in answer to someone who said people were saying that ALL homosexuals do it. To say that's part of a culture doesn't meant that ALL people do it. I'm not the one painting with a wide brush here.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I guess I don't actually understand then why you quoted MY post and replied to ME and requested ME to not paint with such a wide brush when I was merely pointing out that it's been said in this thread that the tapping thing is a part of the homosexual culture.

That was my point. I don't recall you saying anything like that, but it was all drawn from threads on this forum, in posts made by people who display a Christian icon.
You also display a Christian icon, but that doesn't mean that you espouse those very unpleasant opinions. I would be wrong to think that you did.

Christians are a large and disparate group, unified only by their acceptance of the Nicean Creed. The opinions and behaviour of some of the group are not followed by many others.
Homosexuals are a large and disparate group, unified only by their sexuality. The opinions and behaviour of some of the group are not followed by many others.

Do you see?

 

[Archer93]

No, I didn't miss the point at all.

I merely pointed out that it's been said that this foot tapping thing is a part of homosexual culture - that was in answer to someone who said people were saying that ALL homosexuals do it. To say that's part of a culture doesn't meant that ALL people do it. I'm not the one painting with a wide brush here.

The curse of internet ambiguity strikes again, I fear. If we were all sitting around a table discussing the topic, I doubt that this confusion would have come up, or at least would have been milder. I got the impression that you were saying that for your own part you think that this topic is a part of gay culture, rather than reporting your perception of the thread. If you meant the latter, I deeply appologise.


The problem for me here is that, by saying that something is part of a culture, it is suggested that even if not everyone indulges in it then it is at the very least common to many of the group.
For something to be part of a culture it has to be a frequent occurance.
Example- liking football. It is part of that culture to watch football. Physically attending matches is not required- many people who like football do attend matches, but not attending matches does not make someone less of a fan.
It could be called a subculture within the main culture though, so it would (going back to the topic) be fair to say that trolling in cottages* is part of the culture of those people who look for anonymous sex, which is a subculture of gay culture.
However, not all people who look for anonymous sex are necessarily gay, and not all gay people look for anonymous sex.

To say that looking for anonymous sex in public toilets is part of gay culture- suggesting that it is a defining quality- is as wrong as saying that being actively unpleasant to gay people is part of Christian culture.
Some people indulge in it, but it isn't a sine qua non.


*looking for sex in public toilets

 

[Polycarp_fan]

The curse of internet ambiguity strikes again, I fear. If we were all sitting around a table discussing the topic, I doubt that this confusion would have come up, or at least would have been milder. I got the impression that you were saying that for your own part you think that this topic is a part of gay culture, rather than reporting your perception of the thread. If you meant the latter, I deeply appologise.


The problem for me here is that, by saying that something is part of a culture, it is suggested that even if not everyone indulges in it then it is at the very least common to many of the group.
For something to be part of a culture it has to be a frequent occurance.
Example- liking football. It is part of that culture to watch football. Physically attending matches is not required- many people who like football do attend matches, but not attending matches does not make someone less of a fan.
It could be called a subculture within the main culture though, so it would (going back to the topic) be fair to say that trolling in cottages* is part of the culture of those people who look for anonymous sex, which is a subculture of gay culture.
However, not all people who look for anonymous sex are necessarily gay, and not all gay people look for anonymous sex.

To say that looking for anonymous sex in public toilets is part of gay culture- suggesting that it is a defining quality- is as wrong as saying that being actively unpleasant to gay people is part of Christian culture.
Some people indulge in it, but it isn't a sine qua non.


*looking for sex in public toilets

Can you point me to a place, a link or an organization, where anyone IN the Gay Community and its professed culture, EVER speaks out against anonymous, promiscuous, public bathroom sex engaged in by gay men?

That would dispell some of the homogenization of all things gay culture for me anyway. And I am well established in my pronouncements about the ubiquity of beliefs and goals of the gay community, it's agenda and social, private, religious, legislative and education gaols for all in society regarding gay life.

 

[beechy]

Is it moral or ethical for homosexuals to display their wares to see what happens next?

No. It is also not moral or ethical for heterosexual adults to "display their wares" to children. This was an easy one! Next ...

 

[quatona]

No, I didn't miss the point at all.

I merely pointed out that it's been said that this foot tapping thing is a part of homosexual culture - that was in answer to someone who said people were saying that ALL homosexuals do it. To say that's part of a culture doesn't meant that ALL people do it.

That´s understood, but was not the issue in discussion anyway.

I'm not the one painting with a wide brush here.

So who is?
You were the one who pointed out the problems of saying things like "this is part of the [...] culture when someone did it the same with the "Christian culture". So I conclude you are aware of the problems the poster meant to illlustrate.

 

[Archer93]

Can you point me to a place, a link or an organization, where anyone IN the Gay Community and its professed culture, EVER speaks out against anonymous, promiscuous, public bathroom sex engaged in by gay men?

That would dispell some of the homogenization of all things gay culture for me anyway. And I am well established in my pronouncements about the ubiquity of beliefs and goals of the gay community, it's agenda and social, private, religious, legislative and education gaols for all in society regarding gay life.

I think I mentioned upthread the gay clubs that officially do not permit sex in their bathrooms. I personally do not condone making unwelcome sexual advances on anyone, but I have no issue with consentual sexual activity in any private situation- although some are more appropriate than others.

Cottaging is highly codified, and I do not believe that the man arrested had good reason to believe that the person in the next stall was making a coded advance.

Please note that cottaging was a response to a strongly negative view of homosexuality, where people who were openly gay ran the risk of violent physical assault (The Naked Civil Servant, Quentin Crisp). Now that attitudes are more relaxed it is a subculture in itself, where the risk is part of the thrill.
But a gay man who gets off on flashing himself to uninterested parties is no more representative of gay people as a whole than a straight man who does the same is representative of straight people as a whole, and is similarly condemned.

As for the rest- we're a little bit busy dealing with the misinformation and lies being spread about us, and trying to get our civil rights, to spend much time and energy putting out press releases about how we don't approve of flashing people.
When we've got everything else sorted, then we'll probably look into it. Maybe when churches issue similar statements....

Your pronouncements are indeed well established. Whilst you are entitled to your opinions, you are not entitled to your facts.
Any group working towards a common goal will of course have some unity of opinion and aim, but not all groups necesseraly have the same goals.
Legal protection for our families is a pretty common goal, but not all gay people are interested in marriage. They just aren't working against it!