Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (4)

[Arianna]

Hi everyone, sorry I was gone so long - computer problems.

sorry everyone is struggling
April - how are you doing? I'm sorry about what happened :-( I think probably the thing to do is to try not to dwell on too much ...it doesn't make any difference to the ### days you managed not to cut for - Those still exist, that still happened, you still acheived that. This is just a slipup and you can carry on as you were doing before. But I know it must be so hard to want to go back to resisting now. Mb it would help to revisit all the reasons not to cut, all the advantages of those ### days.......to remember why it is a good idea to try to resist.
Hope you're okay.

Katey How are you doing now? I'm sorry things are so difficult :-( Are things any better today?

................................................................

I'm really struggling...i'm so worried about all the work I have to do, worried i'm going to fail. I'm so pathetic to get stressed so easily. I really need to cut, don't want to resist anymore :-(

 

[katey]

Thanks everyone things havent been much better today wich is why i decided to go away for the weekend, i need a break. people keep trying to tell me its not a good idea right now but i really really dont care i need to. i just need a break. my cpn brought my doc out again #day n they di loads of tests n stuff more blood tests n kept trying # weigh me and i wasnt in the mood i kno its seems like i'm not wanting all the help n stuff, n to behonest right now i dont know wot i want. everyones on at me too much i ned space to clear my head, i'm starting to push people away and thats not good.

i'm just exhausted in every way possible and hoping this weeekdn will do me good

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Hi everyone, sorry I was gone so long - computer problems.

sorry everyone is struggling
April - how are you doing? I'm sorry about what happened :-( I think probably the thing to do is to try not to dwell on too much ...it doesn't make any difference to the ### days you managed not to cut for - Those still exist, that still happened, you still acheived that. This is just a slipup and you can carry on as you were doing before. But I know it must be so hard to want to go back to resisting now. Mb it would help to revisit all the reasons not to cut, all the advantages of those ### days.......to remember why it is a good idea to try to resist.
Hope you're okay.

Katey How are you doing now? I'm sorry things are so difficult :-( Are things any better today?

................................................................

I'm really struggling...i'm so worried about all the work I have to do, worried i'm going to fail. I'm so pathetic to get stressed so easily. I really need to cut, don't want to resist anymore :-(

Your not pathetic! We all get stressed over simple and difficult things....and the reason your getting stressed is because your not dealing with it in healthy ways....and something is bothering you for you to get stressed over some things...analyze why your really stressed...
and dont cut!!!! I know its hard to resist...but its not a way to resolve anything...its only a temporary fix to a bigger issue....pm me if you like...here for you

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Katey taking a break is a good thing!!! You need and deserve that dont feel bad about it!

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i... have been feeling really weird lately... i cant put anything down to it... but i have just been feeling really down on myself... so prayers would really be appreciated....
im praying for you all...

 

[Arianna]

hi Bec

Thanks Sabrina,
today isn't good..

 

[MyaShane]

hi Bec

Thanks Sabrina,
today isn't good..

You can do it Ari!

 

[Arianna]

:-( It hasn't been this bad for a long time. I'm really out of my depth..how am I supposed to concentrate on working :-( :-(

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Ari! *hugs* sry to hear your still struggling...sometimes I know even encouragement doesnt work...but its all I got...and prayers. I hope that you can pull through, your stronger than those temptations and urges....you can do it!!! FIGHT! Fight because you know its best for you...and the more you resist the easier it will be to in future moments....try and distract yourself...get away from the stress right now....when you get in those situations just pull yourself aside for # minutes and breathe and tell yourself it will be okay...or pray...that always helps

 

[Arianna]

thanks Sabrina. Thanks for the encouragement.
.things still aren't going well.

How are you?
xx

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Sorry to hear Ari.....I know the struggle...and know no matter how much I can tell you what yoru doing isnt the right way...sometimes it just seems like the only way..right? It is for me at times too, its like no one understands the struggle and sometimes even turning to God just doesnt fix it...I dunno....not that I dont turn to God...but its like that instant release in the pain/addiction will be calling our name until we give into it.....BUT we have to release that their is a greater release...a release of love...not pain and suffering...a release that will give us and fill us up until our hearts content...and thats Jesus....Im praying that he will mend your heart Ari....

 

[katey]

well i'm back from my weekend away it went ok, was good to see my mate.

not feeling great right now though, i thought it might help a bit more than it did but its not but i still had a good time. my counciling session got canceled coz of a fire but needed to talk to him, i was going to tell him howlow i'm feeling right now but now i gotta wait till friday, n its not going # be easy.

i'm meant to be getting weighed tomorrow and am so not looking forward to it at all, in fact i'm dreading it. i might just hoibernate n then not answer the door wen they turn up!!!!! cant see that working but never mind. i just know theyr going to give me a lecture n tell me how worried they are and i dont care at the minute. there way too much other stuff going on right nowi just need this right now, apart from i dnt actually know how i'm loosing as much as i am doing. they dont believe anything i tell them so theres no point trying to tell them in the first place.
AARRGGHHAAARRGGHH just wanna scream!!!! and cry

now i have to go make my sisters tea, really not what i want to be doing but theres no one else in to do it!

 

[katey]

in response to you qiestion in the coffee shop sabrina, i'm struggling not to act out on them and because theres soo much going on i'm ending up doing it. soemtimes i can handle it i can just about stop myself if i manage to distract myself but its really hard at the minute. i keep fighting with myself, with evrything. if i tyr and stop myself siing i end up going out for a run, and its normally stupid oclock at night and then i'm putting myself in even more danger by being out alone in the dark in the center of blackpool. not a good thing to be doing.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

I know the dread of weighing yourself...I want to know the weight...but then Im scared of the number...
Argh I also know how it feels not to be trusted....people do that to me...no matter what I tell them about my Ed they always think I am coniving and lying to them...when Im not...people pretty much see me as dishonest when it comes to food talk....
*hugs* I know you can make it through...I just knowyou can

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Same here...I usually struggle more in my mind than actually do anything...but when things just get too much or I feel a lose of control I cant help but to act out on the thoughts in my head. Its so hard! Its so strange how we will put ourselves in such danger to accomplish something like this....

 

[Soulwings]

Ari Sorry to hear about how badly you're doing... but I can completely understand. Hang in there, and keep us updated. I'll try to come on more frequently as well cos I care about you and everyone else a great deal.

Right now I am struggling madly too. This term is kicking my butt soundly, I'm not getting the best of grades since I can't really concentrate, and I've cut a few times this week already and need to tonight as well. I can't believe how far I've fallen in just a short period of time. I don't really know what to think anymore or what to do... I really was never out of the grip of SI; even when I wasn't cutting I was still SI'ing, as horrible as that sounds. So yeah. I feel awful and my mum is catching on a bit (why oh why do I still live at home...).

But I did talk with Jarrod about the SI stuff, and he said that it really does hurt whenever I do it, but right now his only response is, "I love you and I'll always love you," which may sound inconsequential in the moment (since we are always saying that), but in reality - it is a huge statement. I can't comprehend how huge as I've not been in his position, but I can appreciate that it takes a great deal of effort and choice to still love me after all that I've done (hurting him & others).

Yeah. Not doing too well.

Hope your nights are going better than mine... hang in there and PM me if you need anything. As I said, I'll try to get on CF a little more often.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

*hugs* April. Stay strong, I know you can pull through. I and God are rooting for ya!

 

[katey]

*hugs* april were all here for you, your so strong just like sabrina said. things do seem to fall so quickly when we start going down a little bit. but you can get back up there. Jarrod is there for you, he loves you and like you said that means soo much, even if you do both say it regularly. he means it!!!!!!

my words arent great today but hope it helped a little bit, am thinking of you xxx

 

[MyaShane]

April, the pressure's awful for me, too. I'm sorry you're struggling so much, but how great to have such a loving support in Jarrod there with you! You are able to turn this around anytime. Just because you've fallen back into it now doesn't mean it's beaten you.


I'm going to get my first B this semester since returning to college and I'm pretty devastated. It's my own dumb fault for missing a ## point quiz that I had to take a zero on and now it's mathematically impossible for me to get an A.


How are things going with you Sabrina. Have you been feeling better?

And Katey? How are you today?

Are you doing any better Ari?

 

[katey]

hi Kerin, my days not gone # good. i got weighed this morning, they rang me to ask me if i was on and were sat outside in the car!! so couldnt get out of it. now tomorrow i have to go to see my doctorits all a mess. they ddint beleive me wen i tried to talk # them. so there wasnt much point me even opning my mouth. and now becaus ei feel so bad i've not eaten or dunk anything #day!! and i'm not intedning on either