Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (4)

[Celtic Camel]

hey everyone...
I know I have no right to ask, because I'm never here to support anyone else lately... I could really do with prayer at the moment... Just don't know how long I can keep things 'under control'... it's just way too hard to do the right thing sometimes... I don't know if this is saying too much, but last night I couldn't prepare dinner cause there are too many sharp objects in the kitchen to tempt me... so whatever I choose, I did the wrong thing - to not eat, or to SI... what a choice... argh... when do things ever get better!?!?! (or at least less hard)
anyway, I am realising more and more how much I miss everyone here... hope you are all doing ok.
All my love & prayers (whatever little they are worth),
xoxo

 

[Soulwings]

Lisa *glomp* I've missed you and your bamboo muffins! (Rather, Arnold has missed those muffins, and we've both missed you!) Just sent a prayer up for you and hopefully will remember to pray for you more often than I have been :-( I'm sorry. But about the no food or SI issue, could you put some food elsewhere in your house, like granola bars in your bedroom, so you can just grab that if you can't go into the kitchen?? I'm sorry, I know how hard it is. I have to work in the kitchen for my meals since I have to cook each of them (vs. eating leftovers), and I have to use two different knives while working... so sharps are still tempting. I have to have my fiance deal with other sharp things for me... I feel like a wimp, but hey, do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if you feel silly doing it.

It is good to see you again, though! I've not been around as much as I could've been but I have missed you loads, and everyone else as well. Your love and prayers are worth much, too, love.

Ari, how're you coming with that work that you needed to do? *snuggles*

GG, I'm sorry to hear about all the stress, but Sabrina is right - it's only you that feel as though your parents expect you to be perfect, I'll bet (it is usually that in most cases, including mine), and yes, college apps and everything are stressful, but it'll be over before you know it. Try not to worry about things when you can't do anything about them yet. I wish I could help more. :-(

* Arnold gives everyone a huge pandalicious hug.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

hey everyone...
I know I have no right to ask, because I'm never here to support anyone else lately... I could really do with prayer at the moment... Just don't know how long I can keep things 'under control'... it's just way too hard to do the right thing sometimes... I don't know if this is saying too much, but last night I couldn't prepare dinner cause there are too many sharp objects in the kitchen to tempt me... so whatever I choose, I did the wrong thing - to not eat, or to SI... what a choice... argh... when do things ever get better!?!?! (or at least less hard)
anyway, I am realising more and more how much I miss everyone here... hope you are all doing ok.
All my love & prayers (whatever little they are worth),
xoxo

Things gets better when you want them to. When you chose to say "ENOUGH!" This SI and eating disorder is controlling you. You are not in control when you injure yourself or starve. Satan has control when you do those things. You have to take back control. When you feel that temptation pull away, get yourself out of the situation, satan is trying to tug at you, dont allow him to win! Your stronger than he is! Fight for the Lord. Fight for your health and saftey. Your in a battle right now, and you can win the war.

 

[Soulwings]

Not everything gets better when you want it to. It isn't always a matter of willpower. That's the kind of stuff that my fiance tries to tell me, and maybe it is for some people, but not for others. Sometimes we're just too weak to fight, and too apathetic to ask God for help. Sometimes we feel like shyte and can't do anything worth potatoes... and we don't give a crap. Sometimes there just isn't any point in fighting things. Sometimes we just want to be left alone in our misery so we can do what we want to do, which is generally "not good."

Sometimes... sometimes.

 

[Daysoni]

Not everything gets better when you want it to. It isn't always a matter of willpower. That's the kind of stuff that my fiance tries to tell me, and maybe it is for some people, but not for others. Sometimes we're just too weak to fight, and too apathetic to ask God for help. Sometimes we feel like shyte and can't do anything worth potatoes... and we don't give a crap. Sometimes there just isn't any point in fighting things. Sometimes we just want to be left alone in our misery so we can do what we want to do, which is generally "not good."

Sometimes... sometimes.

I am in that boat right now. The flesh world had a hold on me. One that is strong.

 

[Arianna]

Think I might drown in work April :-S

*hug* April - How are you today?

Daysoni

 

[Soulwings]

Ari. I'm with you on the drowning in work. I'm trying to analyse a journal article on eating disorders, and with all the stats, it's a bit above my head!! Plus I've only got a B in the class so I can't afford to have any poor grades. :-(

But other than that I'm doing okay. Tonight, anyway. I did get through last night okay. But tonight my scratch from almost two weeks ago reopened... AGAIN. It's not healing well since it's on a pivotal point on my wrist (apparently, anyway). Arghhh.

How is everyone else tonight??

 

[MyaShane]

April, it’s still early in the semester. Don’t worry too much about that “B” right now, and it’s not like you’re failing the class. What’s the class btw?

It’s hard to try and ease up on trying to be perfect with everything, I know. I’ve been pushing myself so hard, too and I’m exhausted!! I’ve already finished a # week course with an “A” and am holding a solid “A” in my Microbiology class, but the Business and another Psych class I’m taking I’m pulling a high “B” for both and I’m so stressed!! The thing is, these classes are for a specific nursing school that’s already accepted me for next fall so unless I completely fail these classes, an “A” or “B” is a moot point, but do I listen to that?? NO!! I tried to talk to hubby about how I should just cut myself some slack, but for some reason all he was hearing was me saying I was just going to blow off these classes and he ended up giving me a ten minute “pep talk”. I know he was trying to support me, but it was the exact opposite of what I needed to hear.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Not everything gets better when you want it to. It isn't always a matter of willpower. That's the kind of stuff that my fiance tries to tell me, and maybe it is for some people, but not for others. Sometimes we're just too weak to fight, and too apathetic to ask God for help. Sometimes we feel like shyte and can't do anything worth potatoes... and we don't give a crap. Sometimes there just isn't any point in fighting things. Sometimes we just want to be left alone in our misery so we can do what we want to do, which is generally "not good."

Sometimes... sometimes.

But we CAN ask God for help. Even in my weakness I can find strength through the Lord. Even in our weakness all we have to do is say "God take this, help me." Thats it. And he will, in his time. I know its hard still, by no means am I casting that out. I go through the same thing. I know its difficult and the flesh is weak, I am every day...and it not by my account that I am trying, it is by Gods grace that I am willing to get better. It is his power, not mine, his will, not mine. For if I hadnt known him I would be sicker than I am now.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

I know how it feels though to be stuck in that moment of misery, you want everyone to leave you alone. I get like that alot, and I dont ask God for help, and I sulk in my struggle. I give into it. But when I come out of it, and when you do, you have to find strength in the good moments so you can fight the bad ones.

 

[Daysoni]

Haten life right now............

 

[MyaShane]

Haten life right now............

Daysoni!! What going on?

 

[Soulwings]

*hugs and snuggles*

How is everyone doing? and why does this thread keep dying? :-(

 

[Arianna]

Tis sad that it keeps dying ... I should resolve to do more to help it stay alive...

 

[katey]

ARGH sorry just needed to scream a bit. why wen u tell sum# honeslty how ur feeling do they ignore u. i was taken # hospital last night and i made an effort to reach out and i was honest with the psych liason n he ignored evrything i sed i told him how bad i was feeling and that i'd been having bad su****al thoughts and thats wot i was going # do wen the police stopped me and brought me up # the hospital after talkin #m for ages. n he sed right ok then. well are u sure ur gna b ok! n asked were i was going i was gobsmacked i didnt kno wot # say i just sed wotever and i dnt kno n he sed i could go!
i just feel like no # cares!

 

[Arianna]

Katey, I'm sorry you weren't listened to, Is there someone else you can tell?

 

[katey]

i told the police i was honest with them thats y they ended up takin me up there and stayin with me. theres nno # else. my mum wouldnt listen my mate knows n is just really worried. n if i rant the crissi team it would b the same person # nyt. so theres not point.

 

[Arianna]

:-( Can you tell any of them again Katey? Mb the police since they listened well yesterday?

 

[katey]

the police are alwasy great with me. they do a better job than those that are actually ment # b doing it. i kno a lot of the police here n e way through other things, and the amount of times i've been stopped by them. they r ok. i wasnt in the mood to last night. sumtimes i'll talk # them. it was gd the police lady that was withme on friday night shes been in similiar situations to me and she was really understanding i've had a few that r just plain ignorant though but u get that everywhere i suppose.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Katey, those thoughts are brought on by Satan, our adversary. I pray for you that Jesus can deliver you from those suicidal thoughts. DONT give into them, you know that you have the strength to fight off those thoughts. You are a wonderful person made by God and for him, not for the behavior and disorder we are all going through. WE have to beat this by encouraging remarks and building each other up in Christ. Stay strong hun! I know you can fight this.