Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (4)

[Soulwings]

I think that all scales in the world should be freaking destroyed, and that people should stop focusing on weight, and that everyone should just weigh the same and be healthy.

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

I like that idea april...Lets work on a court mandate?

 

[beckybooiloveu]

Bec... *tries to remember what it was that she wanted to say*

OH! As far as the "bad" marks on your exams... my freshman year was horrible. And you know why? I was compulsively overexercising, not eating enough, and living off coffee and caffeine tablets. That wreaks havoc with your mind, it really does. EDs are known for messing up your thought processes - making you obsess over things like being fat and gaining weight, and making memory for studies much, much worse. This is why I really, really, REALLY don't want you to go to "any measures" to get rid of the "fat." Please, Bec. And also.... losing weight fast is not going to keep it off. Said from experience. And losing weight fast and gaining it back makes it a thousand times harder to lose it the second time. Also said from experience. Please. I don't want you doing wrong what I've done wrong. Please.


I'm not doing great. Thinking about that, and thinking about what I posted in another thread, is really making me flash back to the beginning of my ED, and how my parents wouldn't believe that I had an ED until it was "too late." I had had my ED for a YEAR before they acknowledged that it was a problem. A year. A year of hell. They knew that I was doing liquid and caffeine fasts, they knew. They knew I was obsessed with weight, they probably knew that I weighed myself ten times a day. And yet they didn't know enough about EDs to recognise that as an ED. I can't help but wonder that if I had gotten treatment sooner, would I be losing fat weight faster now? Would I have messed up my mind as much? Would I be on fewer meds because of that? My life is never going to be like it was before I started cutting and before I got an ED. I'm never going to be able to just be "depressed." I'm never going to be able to get away from all of this, not completely.

And now I'm doubting my decision to be a counselor for people with EDs. It's going to hurt to see them go through the same stuff that I did, to see them make the same mistakes that I did. It's going to hurt like hell.

April, I really have to do this, i have to lose this weight and i will find a way to keep it off... it is abit hard to restrict and purge while being at home... so i have taken to ummm... other... methods... but dont worry about me... im ok apart from feeling low about my weight...

HUGE HUGS*... i think... there is a few reasons our parents try to ignore these things or just dont see them till its too late...
ONE... they dont recognise the signs (as you said) because they and alot of other people are not informed about EDs
TWO...they could be in denial (just like we can be) because they dont want to believe we are hurting so much to go to the extremes (or believe we are not perfect)
THREE...we try so hard to hide it from them...
but yeh... still they should pick up on these things...
and think you would be able to make a great counselor... because you woul be able to connect with those pple with an ED on a deeper level...

But I'm trying not to judge my own parents. I really don't know what I would've done in their places, and I also don't know how obvious my signs were, you know?

*snuggles for everyone*

see above... hehe

I think that all scales in the world should be freaking destroyed, and that people should stop focusing on weight, and that everyone should just weigh the same and be healthy.

i completely agree...

 

[MyaShane]

It took my parents a long while to catch on, too, and it was pretty bad by then. Yeah, we become very good at hiding it, don’t we? EDs are pretty rare when you think about it so people just don’t know about them and they certainly don’t understand them. Add to that the fact that even if our parents or whoever comes to us concerned about it, we brush it off as ” not a big deal that we’re in control so don’t worry”. So, what are they supposed to do? And even if we finally admit it to them they’re solution is; ok, so just start eating and everything will be fine…just doesn’t work that way. They have no idea they’re dealing with a chronic problem!


Ok Bec, I’m just going to change my signature to read “Be careful Bec”.

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

*snuggles all who need snuggles*

 

[beckybooiloveu]

thanks... i need them...

 

[Soulwings]

Okay Bec..... just... be careful. I don't know what else to say.

Yes, let's make it a court mandate, good idea, Allie. Stupid, stupid, stupid stupid scales...


How is everyone doing today??

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

Court mandates are fun.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

im being careful...

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

*snuggle*

 

[Soulwings]

Good to hear, Bec.

How is everyone doing today?

*Molly and Arnold snuggles!*

 

[Soulwings]

So ummm.... hello?? *echoes*

How is everyone/anyone??

I'm feeling like shyte, if anyone gives a crap. [/bitter]
Other than that, I'm peachy keen. *bright smile*

 

[shazabella]

april

yay for the site being back up !

I'm in a weird head space atm ... just got lots of stuff going on...

I went out to lunch with Chadders on Monday and i was really naughty in my lack of eating , I was kind of sick as well but i should have eaten alot more then what i did. Chadders has known me since forever and has seen me through my some of my worst and some of my best so its not because of him i was doing that. I don't know it just made me feel so angry at myself for doing it.

I just want to be able to enjoy our time together without worrying about food or anything like that ... and eat normally not restrictive, another bad thing - i'm losing weight again ... my mother is praising me for it - i have no idea how her daughter being so sick she's dropping dress sizes without dieting / exercising is praiseworthy, but then again the comments made about the way lil sis looks in her formal dress doesn't really surprise me that she would be praising my unhealthy behaviour.



- Shaz

 

[GoGators]

How is everyone?? I hope you all are doing OK.

 

[Soulwings]

Shaz. That must be really tough having a mum like that... I'm sure she's wonderful but just praising you for losing weight - that doesn't sound very understanding at all. Does she know about your problems with eating? And does she know that that is why you are losing weight again? Please try and be careful, beautiful. You're worth more than this, and you can overcome it. It's a tough battle but one that you can win... one that we all can win, if we only fight towards the light, so to speak. [/pep talk] But anyway... *snuggles*

GG, how're you doing?

I'm doing okay today I guess, really tired but that's normalish given that I played racquetball yesterday for the first time in awhile. Meh. The rest of today is going to be okay I think - nutritionist appointment (eek) first time in two weeks (I missed last week's appt.) so that is a little nervewracking. Then errands after that, then (hopefully) chatting with Jarrod.

How are y'all??

 

[shazabella]

Shaz. That must be really tough having a mum like that... I'm sure she's wonderful but just praising you for losing weight - that doesn't sound very understanding at all. Does she know about your problems with eating? And does she know that that is why you are losing weight again? Please try and be careful, beautiful. You're worth more than this, and you can overcome it. It's a tough battle but one that you can win... one that we all can win, if we only fight towards the light, so to speak. [/pep talk] But anyway... *snuggles*

April , with the CFS ( Chronic fatigue syndrome) nausea and sickness in general are an everyday thing so i have been able to shed the weight really easily with no appetite. I went to see an N when i had no appetite because of the CFS and she just asked me if i could lose some weight when i was barely eating at that stage.I told my doctor that if i kept seeing the N i would have eating issues by the end of the year ( that was in two thousand and four) and yet here i am at two:fifteen am feeling so out of control and dreading everything i need to feed my body to live and just wishing i could be normal and healthy and happy.

I see my T tomorrow so i shall talk to her about this ...

Mum knows about the eating problems ; there was a lot of pressure from her mother about me losing weight from when i was younger, i was the chubby one; so when i did it was a "huge achievement", the thing is I'm doing it the wrong way and i know this. It was just easier to not eat then eat and feel sick all the time. Its not a medical problem that they can put it down to and when i was assaulted last yr i lost all appetite completely and saw it as the only thing i could control in my life.

The problem was what started off as harmless way of losing weight to fit into a bikini to show off to a boy I liked on a mission trip spiralled out of control BIG TIME. It started with the i want to lose *insane amount* and then the amount just kept growing and growing as i shed the kilos.

I am just really hurting atm and i need someone in RL to take it seriously the fact that EVERYTIME i go to a social thing i freak out about having to eat infront of people - I'm going out with a girlfriend to a coffee thing on saturday night and its hugely scary. I have tried reaching out to people in RL and i think i will tell Chadders what is going on because its not healthy and I'm not healthy or happy, its making me sick and i am sick of it making me sick.

- Shaz

 

[GoGators]

GG, how're you doing?

I just want one friend who I can open up to and pour my heart out to. Yeah, I have friends that I talk to, but I never get close to them. I've been feeling this way for a while now...I'm also sick of my body. I hate being fat like this.

 

[MyaShane]

April , with the CFS ( Chronic fatigue syndrome) nausea and sickness in general are an everyday thing so i have been able to shed the weight really easily with no appetite. I went to see an N when i had no appetite because of the CFS and she just asked me if i could lose some weight when i was barely eating at that stage.I told my doctor that if i kept seeing the N i would have eating issues by the end of the year ( that was in two thousand and four) and yet here i am at two:fifteen am feeling so out of control and dreading everything i need to feed my body to live and just wishing i could be normal and healthy and happy.

I see my T tomorrow so i shall talk to her about this ...

Mum knows about the eating problems ; there was a lot of pressure from her mother about me losing weight from when i was younger, i was the chubby one; so when i did it was a "huge achievement", the thing is I'm doing it the wrong way and i know this. It was just easier to not eat then eat and feel sick all the time. Its not a medical problem that they can put it down to and when i was assaulted last yr i lost all appetite completely and saw it as the only thing i could control in my life.

The problem was what started off as harmless way of losing weight to fit into a bikini to show off to a boy I liked on a mission trip spiralled out of control BIG TIME. It started with the i want to lose *insane amount* and then the amount just kept growing and growing as i shed the kilos.

I am just really hurting atm and i need someone in RL to take it seriously the fact that EVERYTIME i go to a social thing i freak out about having to eat infront of people - I'm going out with a girlfriend to a coffee thing on saturday night and its hugely scary. I have tried reaching out to people in RL and i think i will tell Chadders what is going on because its not healthy and I'm not healthy or happy, its making me sick and i am sick of it making me sick.

- Shaz

Hey Shaz - unfortuanately for a lot of us that's exactly how our EDs came about, too. You simply want to try and lose a little, but don't really know how to best do it and by the time you realize it's a problem, it's a little late. It's very tough to bring yourself back around, I know but you can be healthy again! I hope you do find someone to confide in (you too GG!) that's so important. Although I've realized that I've admitted it to more people here than I have to anyone esle ever.

 

[katey]

hello everyone big hugs to all.

i've not been around for a long time but i'm on leave from hospital for a week and thought i'd pop in and say hello, see how evryones doing xxxx

 

[shazabella]

Hey Shaz - unfortuanately for a lot of us that's exactly how our EDs came about, too. You simply want to try and lose a little, but don't really know how to best do it and by the time you realize it's a problem, it's a little late. It's very tough to bring yourself back around, I know but you can be healthy again! I hope you do find someone to confide in (you too GG!) that's so important. Although I've realized that I've admitted it to more people here than I have to anyone esle ever.

Thanks Mya,

I actually spoke to my T about it today and it was hard because as i was talking about it i realised just how sick i am atm and that i want to get better and for that - i need someone to realise that i am sick and that i can't fight this battle alone. It scares me that I'm out of control of something i started to gain control over me.

- Shaz