Superficial middle aged lady

[Lybrah]

when you get to know someone & like them, they do become more attractive to you

i.e. when met husband he was not the "type" that I was usually attracted to & only went out with him because couldn't think fast enough of a reason to say no

he was kind, considerate & we kept going out
I liked him & then loved him enough to say yes to marriage two mos after first date

as yrs go by, I find him more attractive!
one day, looking at pics of us in our 20s & thought
"he WAS good looking!" back then

I think my major problem is that nice and considerate isn’t enough. If I’m not attracted to him, it doesn’t matter how nice he is.

 

[Blade]

For me.. a guy.. my wife thats been with me for over 35 years.. THANK GOD! lol I knew her for over a year. We went to the same Church. I didn't want anything what so ever to do with her. I can't explain it.. one day.. everything in a moment changed. Nothing happened that caused this. Everything I disliked I loved.

Your desire for what you want haha.. He has already started it before you asked. Set in to motion all that needs to happen. You need to KNOW He hears you. We need to know this and not doubt. He will not go against anyone's will. Yet He is your Father that happens to be the ONLY God. A hes not going to say NO to this. Set your mind heart on Him... and listen. And you will get peace.

So hold on He heard you sis.. as He said to Sarah.. whats to hard for the lord? Sometimes.. so many times He does thing to HELP our faith. Speak words of life

 

[JacksBratt]

I am a real piece of crap. Sometimes I meet really nice guys and I’m not attracted to them. I cannot get past their looks. I try to give them chances, but I end up dreading the dates and they tend to really get on my nerves. They’re nice people and I can’t get past what they look like! I feel ashamed of my sinful behavior. I want both looks and personality but I am no model and I guess it’s settle or be alone. Please pray for me that I can stop being superficial and that I can find someone to get excited about. This last guy I was talking to, I just couldn’t stand his face and he kept smiling too much. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

There is a lot of truth to that old saying "Beauty is only skin deep"...

Physical beauty that is.

You just need to understand that it is the heart that we really fall in love with.. Then.. all the physical beauty can disappear and we don't care.

If you haven't found that yet... don't despair.. don't give up.. If God has someone for you... maybe you or they are just not in the right place right now.

 

[public hermit]

I think my major problem is that nice and considerate isn’t enough. If I’m not attracted to him, it doesn’t matter how nice he is.

I don't think you should feel bad about what you find attractive. We all like what we like. I would say that sometimes the beauty (or lack thereof) of any given individual changes over time. I have known those that I thought were very attractive, and after some time, not so much. I have also formed an attraction towards those that I didn't notice, initially. Time is great at giving clarity.

 

[Annner]

I am a real piece of crap. Sometimes I meet really nice guys and I’m not attracted to them. I cannot get past their looks. I try to give them chances, but I end up dreading the dates and they tend to really get on my nerves. They’re nice people and I can’t get past what they look like! I feel ashamed of my sinful behavior. I want both looks and personality but I am no model and I guess it’s settle or be alone. Please pray for me that I can stop being superficial and that I can find someone to get excited about. This last guy I was talking to, I just couldn’t stand his face and he kept smiling too much. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

I would think that means you haven't met the right one. I would pray, stop striving, put it in the Lords hands and thank him for a wonderful, godly man who knows the Lord. Even if you dont see anyone within a thousand miles.....because thats how God works. He provides streams of water in the middle of deserts. The one he sends will be far better than any you could have chosen for yourself. In the meantime, you can relax, have peace, focus on good friendships, and know he heard your prayer, trusting Him with all your ❤️.

 

[Radagast]

Sometimes I meet really nice guys and I’m not attracted to them. I cannot get past their looks.

If you're looking for a wonderful, godly, interesting, funny, well-educated, wealthy male model, then I'm sorry, but odds are that you aren't going to find one.

If you're looking for a partner, you need to think hard about which criteria are essential, and which are not.

 

[Sophrosyne]

I am a real piece of crap. Sometimes I meet really nice guys and I’m not attracted to them. I cannot get past their looks. I try to give them chances, but I end up dreading the dates and they tend to really get on my nerves. They’re nice people and I can’t get past what they look like! I feel ashamed of my sinful behavior. I want both looks and personality but I am no model and I guess it’s settle or be alone. Please pray for me that I can stop being superficial and that I can find someone to get excited about. This last guy I was talking to, I just couldn’t stand his face and he kept smiling too much. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Not sinful to be picky at all, but sometimes not as wise to be too overly focused on looks but IMO if someone has a mediocre personality and mediocre looks and you aren't a mediocre person sometimes it isn't a good match at all.

 

[John Helpher]

I am a real piece of crap.

I feel ya.

I cannot get past their looks.

That sounds shallow. I'm not calling you shallow. The principle of not being able to see past surface appearance is what it means to be shallow. I believe you, as an individual, can get past that, as any of us who struggle with similar problems can. I'm not saying it's wrong to have preferences; we all do and that's okay. I'm just saying, when any of us finds it difficult to look deeper than the surface, it's a problem.

I want both looks and personality but I am no model and I guess it’s settle or be alone.

I remember watching this movie (can't remember what it's called) where this guy gets involved with a beautiful woman, but in his secret heart of hearts he still laments all the other relationships he won't be able to have because of this one.

Though it was just romantic schlop it still had an impact on me; there must be millions of people out there we could all learn to be compatible with. This idea of a "soul mate"; that out of billions there is only one is just romantic fantasy designed to manipulate our insecurities and people who are insecure are more likely to consume based on impulse rather than rational thinking.

The truth is that there are probably thousands of people out there we could learn to get along with, and quite likely learn to feel very strongly about. Indian culture is famous for their arranged weddings and despite the American scorn toward such arrangements, those marriages tend to last longer. Generally speaking the parents who arrange them really do understand their children's feelings and take this into consideration when making the arrangements. The husband and wife learn to love one another because that's what they've been taught that marriage is; it's not about experiencing these really strong surges of feelings that sweep you off your feet (though that certainly can, and should, be a part of any strong relationship) but rather about understanding that what it takes to make a relationship work is more than just feelings.

Please pray for me that I can stop being superficial and that I can find someone to get excited about.

I talked to a guy, once, about his relationship status. He'd never been married before and had no kids. His longest relationship was something like 9 months, I think. He was an attractive guy, but just couldn't quite seem to make it work. I asked him if he had considered celibacy; that perhaps all the frustration he was feeling was because he was going against what God wanted for him. I mean, both Jesus and Paul make it clear that while marriage is neither wrong nor forbidden, it is the inferior option compared to staying single for God. Jesus, when referring to this, added the caveat that such a calling was for, "those who can accept it". If you really feel that you cannot accept celibacy for Christ, then you should seek to marry. It's okay to marry. That's what I told this guy. He asked me, "how can I know if I'm one of those people who can accept staying single and it's just my cross to bear"? I said he should ask God; If you're okay for me to marry, then that is what I'd like; please provide for me the wife that you know will be right for me, and if she doesn't come along, then I will accept that as your answer that I am meant to be single".

I believe God cares for our personal desires and takes them into account. If a person is sincere when making this prayer, he/she will find happiness either way.

 

[bèlla]

If you routinely attract a certain type; you’re the problem. That’s the constant.

You have to figure out what’s drawing them in your direction and make the necessary changes to attract the one you seek.

If good looks are your standard you have to put in the work. You can’t raise the bar for a man and expect them to accept less on your behalf. It doesn’t work like that.

An unmarried woman in her forties who never had children should look incredible. She’s had the liberty to practice self-care at a degree many do not. Not surgeon perfect. But well-cared for nonetheless.

You’re emphasizing the physical. But true attractiveness is multi-pronged. Aesthetic preferences have a price and they’re usually borne by the woman. Men bring resources to the table.

~Bella

 

[Junia]

The problem is I can’t get to know them. Guys don’t want friends, at least not with me. I try to get to know them but then they make the move and start trying to hold my hand and kiss and when I tell them not yet they back off and I never hear from them again. I explain to them that I want to be friends first and it goes in one ear and out the other. If I don’t decide I’m romantically interested by the third date, they won’t waste their time.

They are not respecting your boundaries. you need and deserve a gentleman. who will be prepared to wait for you and not make moves on you before you are ready.

and you are NOT a piece of crap. Father God adores you. you are His beloved, He sees Jesus when He looks at you.