Suicidal

[mom_one]

praying for you Lord bless him & guide him as he does your work in Jesus name Amen

 

[fabulous beast]

Oh my friend!!! I have a story for you.
I to in the past did ver regretable things, that I pulled my rifle out and looked down the barrel and put my finger on the trigger.
This is when I heard it loud and clear. "PULL THE TRIGGER!!PULL IT!!"
You see I had walked with the devil in this period of life.
The devil hid all his dark plans behind a veil of "fun".
I was drinking, doing drugs, having relations with girls while in a relationship.
All these things took there toll over time as I hit rock bottom. I had hurt my g/f, my friend, my parents...etc.
So I decided "why should I keep living when all I ever do is screw up and hurt everyone." For every pro-life statement I heard...I had a very good anti life response.
i had become so empty within that I looked dead. You know how a dead body has no life its eyes? I looked like that. I was neither here on earth nor reality...not even in a dream state.
But as I heard this voice telling me to pull the trigger...I realized, my god....Im ate up with devils. Then my phone rings. Its my very religeous relative from another state WHO NEVER EVER calls. He talked to me and I asked him to pray for me.
Sometime later god picked me up and healed my heart.
I would often feel the devils still trying to torment me. But I rebuked them in the name of jesus christ. I mocked them telling them that they cant get to me any more. So you know what they did? they left me and hopped on my g/f...reminding her of all the hurt ive caused. Because they knew that they could use her to get me down. But I told her to relax and told her that I had just rebuked satan and that they had leaped on her. An example of this can be found in Matthew I think. I may be wrong.
It basicly says that when a devil is booted out from your heart, it will leave trying to find a new home (person)....but when none is found it will return to you and if you have god in your heart and your forgiven, it will leave and return with 7 other demons more stronger than it.
Think about it, these demons arent possesing you, but simply suggesting. just as the snake in the garden of eden suggested to eve that she should eat the apple. it did not force her. Its temptation.
Your heart is broke, you are extreamly vulnerable to the devil. Thus the alcohol which is bad for your health and mind. Now there whispering in your ear "kill yourself."
Rebuke them in the name of jesus christ. That with god nothing can harm you, that with god you can endure anything.
And beleive me its fun to rub it in the devils face, telling him that he failed to kill you and that it only drove you that much closer to God.

Take care! My prayers are with you.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I said a prayer for you

 

[D'Ann]

Praying.

 

[billiefan2000]

 

[Stephanie7]

Father God, grant this one daily strength and help him to cope. Restore their relationship, according to thy Will, In Jesus Name, Amen

 

[tomjr]

thank you all for your continued prayers. today at church I went down to the alter for prayer and was overwhelmed with grief. I feel I'm being punished by the Lord at times. Things seem better on the outside but inside I'm struggling and hurting bad. I miss Angie bad, I haven't heard from her....I just miss her love and friendship.

 

[Benjamin1981]

Praying for u brother.

 

[fabulous beast]

I too am going through a horriable break up.
5 years with the girl and its over. But TRUST IN GOD!
this is no punishment! This is a trial for you friend!
As it is with me. Instead of moping around I have prayed for the pain to stop. Ive prayed endlesssly. And the father stopped the pain and returned peace and love within me. The key thing to know is this...
this is a trial. the father will tell you what its about.
But in order to overcome certain things within our lives, such as with me....Im bad at taking my anger out on those i love.
That is my trial. And this break up is gods brutal workout plan for me. No pain, no gain.
you see to change things in our lives, sometimes we have to be heart broken. Our minds and hearts must be crushed and completely destroyed.
Ok, so we are crushed we are destroyed...now what?
The only thing left to do is 2 things. you can either take the pieces of your heart and sweep them to the side and remain miserable and unchanged.
Or you allow god to come in....to take those shattered pieces of your heart, and to let our father and jesus to mold us into what he has planned.
The father hears your prayers. Finally when god knows the time is right, he will take your pain and heartache. youll feel noraml again. Youll look outside and see the sunshine and just think of how beautiful it is out. And from there youll begin to change within.
Im a week and one day into my break up. It hurts. but thats my fault. This is my trial to live with god, not the girl. but heres an example of gods divine love.
For a solid week she looked at me with a cold stare, no emotion and said "I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE".
Ouch... But I prayed to my father to heal her wounds to please keep tapping on her heart, to keep me in her thoughts and in her heart. he answered my prayers.
Saturday she came over without me asking her to. We talked for hours. Calmly, because the father gave me several signs that this is my time to focus on him. And that I cant change her mind. But she told me she loved me and missed me.
there was no resolve to our issue. Were still broke up, but this morning she called me just to say Hi, to see how im doing.
Something she hasnt done in a week. So you see, Jesus is listening.
Hes talking to your heart. Probably showing you signs. you have to think hard and realize what it is that the father is trying to say. once you figure it out. BOND WITH IT! Dont let it go. Then youll be granted the blessing of acceptance with your situation. When I was a mess lat week I kept asking "will you send her home to me father!!!PLEASE!"....within my heart I heard "I will...give it time."
So the hateful nasty person i was has died. I am being rebuilt and molded by jesus.

I dont know what your situation is with the woman you love. But god knows your heart and will help you, he dosent like for his children to hurt. But unfortunatly for you and I....humans have the gift of free choice. And god will not make her do anything.
But god has told me to back off. that in time she mill heal. And whatever happens....happens.
What is done is done. that phrase pops into my head all the time when im hurting. And when it does, i find peace within. I beleive that to be a message from our father.
BUT PLEASE HEAR THIS!!!
I felt happy and excited after coming to terms with my wife. So stupidly I grabbed a bottle of rum and took a drink. to celebrate. But that drink led to another. then another.
Soon I was a raging mess. Drunk and hurt all over again.
I meant no harm to myself by drinking.....but my devils knew that i still have the saddness within. That once I tasted the alcohol. The saddness would crave more.
And I did. And now Im starting over again.
I have a empty space in my gut...my heart is heavy with saddness. But god is hear with me. Gods hear with me as I share my life with you.
Hes bringing much peace to me. Be strong!
Right it down on things your going to see alot...write "TRUST GOD". So that your reminded that god will heal you. That gods there for you. It requires all of your trust. you have NO reason not to trust him.
Be Strong tom. Be strong with god. You cant do this on your own.
The guilt you feel is demons and your own personal saddness.
Their goal is to make you feel like crap. They want you to suffer to no end. your on rock bottom...and they dont want to give you any room to get up.
So find god. Listen to god. Be reborn with god!
You will make it through this!
God has a plan! Im a complete stranger to you. But I love you! I dont want you to hurt. i know the feeling also!
Sometimes I feel so alone. But just for spurts. Because I know that jesus is within me. i know that all these wonderful ppl here on the forums care about me and have given their prayers.
Your going to get through this Tom! Just try to let god in and when god heals you, focus on him. Let god take care of your love life, because he will. Dont talk to her...and trust me I KNOW HOW ROUGH AND HARD THAT IS!
But she to is being put through a trail.
pray for her to heal within....but focus on accepting god and to stick with it.
Hes there for you. he always has been.

 

[billiefan2000]

 

[rushingwind62]

I am praying for you. If you are feeling suicidal again here are some hotlines you can call for help....

• United Way Crisis Helpline: 1-800-233-HELP (1-800-233-4357)
• American Self-Help Clearinghouse - http://www.mentalhelp.net/selfhelp/
  (This guide has been developed to act as your starting point for exploring real-life support groups and networks that are available throughout the world and in your community.)
• Christian oriented hotline – 1-877-949-HELP (1-877-949-4357)
  (If their lines are busy you have to call back. 7pm to 1am EST.)
• 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
  (This is a secular service. They are capable of dealing with self injury and suicidal ideations or emotional crisis.)
• Social Security Administration - 1-800-772-1213
  (If you have cancer, or you have a disabled, or ill person in your home, and they require medical care, SSA is a very important number to have.)

 

[D'Ann]

I think you need to watch this video. Every time I watch it, I feel this sweet love of Jesus wash over me and cleanse me. I think you will really feel blessed watching it. Please do.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

Jesus loves you very much and He is always there reaching out to you. This message always brings tears to my eyes. Always. Good tears. Cleansing tears.

 

[Criada]

Still praying

 

[deepgreen11]

praying for you and the healing of your heart.

 

[l0v3n]

Prayed!

 

[tomjr]

the depression just won't leave. I've talked to Angie once and didn't go well....I feel I'm being punished and the suicidal thoughts are back. I've been in church and pray everyday but notthing seems better. I don't know how much more pain I can take...I wish I could go to sleeep and wake up when its better.

 

[fabulous beast]

Hey man!
Ive been seperated from my girl for about a month. i had the same issues. Suicidal....but without realizing it. Whenever I drive i take my seat belts off. Not because I plan on wrecking, but because if I did, I dont really care what happens.
the thing you must do is TRUST!
The words, what is done is done keeps playing in my heart when i get upset. I cannot look back. its over. I can only look forward. that god knows the hurt and desires of your heart. god is here for the broken hearted. but it requires all of your trust. Beleive me. Its been painful. Finally ive broken down and cried out for god to please take all my emotions away. that there is always the future. heres how god recently answered my prayers. i had to take me ex to work. i asked if I should let go completley...but instead of having a nice useful conversation....she got snappy with me and gave me attitude. basicly telling me to go away.
After that, i felt nothing. but I countinued to pray for her. not for us.
today when i picked her up for work, she was wearing a cross and she was in a really good mood. We even flirted a little like little kids. my love for her was there, but i was still numb within thanks to god.
he is working on her. As this may be your time to focus on your own life and her time to focus on her life with god. There is always the future. Pray for the one you love.
And keep at it. remind yourself to TRUST god everyday. Rebuke the devils that surround you. the devils whispering all these things in your ear, reminding you of what was. What was is gone. Its still there....there is just problems. but NOTHING IS IMPOSSABLE WITH CHRIST!
Pray for god to help you with the pain, pray for acceptance of things. Pray for the removal of these feelings. Let god know you wish him to take these emotions you have because it does you know good to have them. its the first step in your walk with christ through this battle your going through.
talk to him god everyday....for hours if you have too. i did. its what he wants you to do. he has a plan for us all.
i also think too, that when we die and go to heaven, there will be no memory of this life. that we are here to support and love each other and be faithful to the father.
As right now its easy for you to put the one you love above god. God understands, but you must talk to him. people and memories are important, but not worth the pain.
We are here for each other for comfort, love, fun, praise....
but we will all die one day. And when we are dead, all these memories of life on earth will stop. For there will be no more pain. Only joy and happiness.
Its very important to realize this.
that its my belief that if you kill yourself, you will of course go to hell. You destroyed the temple that belongs to god over a woamn whom you held more respect over than god. And while in hell, im sure we will not forget each other. that it will be physical and emotional pain forever.
So if you think you feel bad now, try to imagine this feeling NEVER stopping with even more brutal forms of mental and physical pain.
Life is beautiful, its just raining really hard on yours for now. but will you try to look at the rain clouds and make them go away by looking at them. Or will you be trustful and understanding and call out to god to make the rain clouds go away.
Im praying for you Tom.
DO NOT GIVE UP!
You must remain faithful. its the most important thing you can do. pray for yourself and for the one you love. that god WILL answer. but it takes time and this is not easy or fun. But it WILL pay off greatly in the end. Perhaps not to our liking as of now, but the future will show you.
youve got this! you will make it through this. Stand up! YELL OUT TO THE FATHER!
FATHER I NEED YOU! IM READY FOR YOUR GUIDEANCE! TAKE THE PAIN AWAY! SO THAT I MAY FOCUS FORWARD IN LIFE WITH YOU!
Praise god!
Your not alone in heart ache. Jesus comes to the broken hearted. It takes time.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Father God, please bless and aid Tom. He is hurting more than we can imagine, please bestow your healing and peace to his heart. Let him see your splendor in every living thing that he may learn to love life once again. Give him peace of mind and joy in his heart for he is becoming a new man because of your grace. The molding and changing is painful but the results will be astounding. I beg that in Jesus' name the suicidal thoughts vanish from his mind and that he can begin to heal.

God bless you and help you as well fabulous beast, that you can continue to heal and grow while helping others in your same situation. May His grace and love shine on you both for all time, in Jesus' name I pray.

 

[tomjr]

today is really hard with temtation,,,I started drinking and feel down. I feel that God is punishing me by not hearing my prayers. I' m trying to remain strong but this just seems the easy way out to forget the pain. I miss angie so mucch i feel I cant go on Please God have mercy on my soul, Help me regain my happiness....put angien in my arms so we may marry and walk in the path of Jesus togetherr.

 

[hypostatic]

Praying for you!