Hello, I just created my account today, nice to meet you all. Weeks ago, (though not diagnosed) I felt as though I had experienced depression as I had felt joyless, had low energy, experienced insomnia, and just felt absolutely horrible. This had lasted for about a week or two and I felt that God was distant from me or punishing me. But I had a very supportive family and I started reading the bible and praying more that God would deliver me from the pain. Eventually, the depression (at least seemingly) left, but I started experiencing intrusive thoughts. Negative ones about God, the devil, or losing my faith, which terrified and continue to terrify me greatly. I became sin conscious and the activities that used to give me joy became terrifying because I was unsure if I was offending God. But again, the worst parts were the intrusive thoughts that in no way represent my true beliefs, but they would become so consuming that cause my anxiety and I constantly pray for forgiveness. Recently, I had an intrusive thought renouncing my faith which caused me great distress. I never, ever, want to renounce my faith I believe and love Jesus and want to be saved. I know it's the enemy filling me with lies, but the very thought just kills me. I constantly tell myself that I am still in God's light, but I guess the thought still lingers. Am I still saved? I could use some insight.
