suffering frm weight issues :(

[sys212]

hi guyz, i really want ur advice n thoughts on my story. becoz i still dont no why i went thru this painful process. im kinda sufferin frm weight issues rite nw, bt i sure am gettin better

well, it all started last yr, when i was a sophomore.

First, traveling far back in time, i hav never been overweight.
in fact i was really slim but then when i was at my last year in high school, i gained 5kg and i saw myself as plumpy all of a sudden (i was actually average) and then i started my first ever intensive diet. had rice for breakfast and lunch(about half a bowl) and fruit for dinner. exercised hardout for at least an hr. at first, i wasnt sensitive on my weight and took it slowly, and then when i've lost 5kg (back to being slim), i started to go very sensitive about my weight. whenever i ate sth, i kept on thinking in my head, "this will make me fat," and i got so stressed out.

Then i went on to uni. my uni is like 5 hrs away from hm by bus, and almost everyone lives in the dormitory. When i was a freshman, i was envied by everyone else, becoz i was very harsh on myself and i controlled myself very well. i got all A+s in my subjects, i was liked by all the professors, i also had a lot of friends becoz of my outgoing personality, and people thought i was fashionable and most importantly i was skinny and i was a devoted christian as well.

then suddenly all of the things went kinda in a wrong way. for example, whenever i was at chapel trying to worship the Lord, all my focus was onto my body. I kept on thining "i had dinner too much. im gonna get fat." i felt so uncomfortable becoz i was not able to digest food well, and even my period had been stopped for over 6 months. Seriously, in weekends, when i had a big breakfast, i was not able to digest all day. it was painful. and all my focus onto God was going the wrong way. i couldnt pay attentions to God at all, i couldnt worship him wholeheartedly...but i didnt realize this at all. at the same time, i think i was becoming more and more full of pride becoz i thought i was perfect. everyone envied me , and i believed i could do anything that i had decided to do.





Like that, i started onto my sophomore yr. but suddenly, i dnt even no when it started really..., i kept eating and eating. i ate too much that i gained weight. and i started to hate looking at myself in the mirror. even though my friends told me that i was still skinny, i was sensitive about gaining even 1kg. i told myself to be on a diet, but i failed and failed. Failure was repeated for several time, and i started to blame and hate myself for nt being able to lose weight! so i blamed myself, and got stressed that i ate. i ate and slept, ate and slept, i did this repeatedly. it was like a pattern - i fail to resist food then i blame myself, and then get stressed that i eat. I failed all my exams and i was going a mess. Then i gained 15kg and i was ashamed of going out in public. i didnt wanna encounter people, i was afraid ppl would look at my body. i didnt wanna go out, or even meet ppl, or even go to lectures. i prayed to God everyday to help me lose weight, bt he didnt answer at all. i felt like i was talking to a wall, so i started blaming God too. "God, u dont love me. u dont know how much it hurts me to gain weight and become fat. God , i pray but nothing changes. i go nuts over food when i look at it. i cant control myself. i wanna change but u dont respond." I thought about commiting a suicide too,,,

The most thing that made me suffer was...
that I hated myself for not being able to control myself any more. so i tortured myself, both physically and emotionally and spiritually.


so then i had to take a year off from uni, and im working now to earn my tuition fee now. it has been 6 months already, and i sure am getting better. but still havent succeeded in my diet. i still get stressed a lot about my weight, but i try to not get stressed about it. and i try to take it slow, but it is not easy. i try to love myself and see myself beautiful bt its not easy as well. the most thing that scares me is that i will never become what i used to be. i would never become the person i used to be.

but nw i know that God loves me no matter what. and i thnk thru this experiend, God is tryign to tell me sth. but i still am nt quite sure wot i have to pray for, and wot i have to change. i dunno what went wrong. but i really do want ur honest opinions plz.




sorry, this was a long story. hope it wasnt too boring and all messy...

 

[MyRightEye]

When you look at weight chart, you'll notice that risk of death is up on both ends.
Granted being heavy is where most charts focus, my point is to encourage you to look at BMI charts. Unhealthy body image is a really hard fight to struggle through. Bear in mind, the BMI charts don't take into account activity and my rate athletic people as overweight. My BMI for example is 26.2 just bearly being under "overweight" but it is muscle weight. . . I'd look puny if I got down to my "ideal" weight & I'd have to shed a lot of muscle, it wouldn't be healthy. So, while I am suggesting you look at the charts, I'd also encourage you to talk with your doctor about the BMI charts and where you are on them.

Your story isn't boring, but it is terribly common. There are way too many young women who have a view of how thier bodies should look that just doesn't line up with what is actually healthy or even attractive (in my humble opinion) Just 'cause it is common, doesn't mean it isn't hard. It is. I'll be praying.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Sometimes working with other people makes each participant stronger than they would be alone.

Overeaters Anonymous - Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous

 

[sbbqb7n16]

Sounds like you're showing the beginning stages of anorexia. It's a psychological issue related to an improper body image, and creates eating disorders. Sometimes too little food, other times too much (from a mindset of "I'm ugly no matter what I eat, so what difference does it make?"). Unfortunately even though we are Christian, we can still develop psychological (and/or other) disorders.

I would suggest that you start slowly working your way back towards eating healthy meals. And 1/2 a bowl of rice and a piece of fruit total for the day isn't healthy.

You should try to eat 4 meals a day, spaced 4 hours apart at (likely) 300-400 calories a meal.

Go to Calories Burned, BMI, BMR & RMR Calculator | CaloriesPerHour.com and choose the "BMR & RMR Calculator." When I put in my info, my results were a BMR of 1,989 - so 2,000. For me, I would need 4 meals of about 2,000/4= 500 calories each.

Choose healthy foods: whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins (turkey, chicken, fish, lean beef, etc.)

But you have to build up to doing a full week of healthy meals. Think of it like running. You wouldn't just head out the door after being sedentary on your couch, and try to run a marathon on day 1 would you? Of course not. But peope think they can go from no diet - to a "full on 28 healthy meals a week" diet - instantly. That's just as unrealistic.

Gradually increase the number of healthy meals you eat, and gradually increase the amount of exercise you do until you make it up to 25-26 healthy meals a week (and 1-2 cheat meals), and averaging 45-60 minutes a day of exercise 5-6 days a week. If you do that for long enough, you'll naturally become healthy, skinny, and fit.

 

[Aibrean]

I gained 65-70 lbs since college. Part of that was a metabolic disorder (PCOS and insulin resistance). My cholesterol was up to 230 (LDL was 160). I found out what my cholesterol was and I snapped. It's been 6 months and I've lost 15 lbs and got the LDL down to 135. I just watch the kinds of foods I'm eating, and stick to it. It's ok to have sweets every once in a while. They just have to be teeny tiny (really I don't care too much for sweets now). It's not an instant change. It takes time. I suggest you look at a high fiber and whole grain diet because it will hep you not feel food and want to eat. A healthy snack I like is Chocolate Cheerios. Gets me my chocolate fix and whole grains. I don't eat refined grains anymore unless I don't have a choice. If I go out (which you can) I always check nutritional content online and plan ahead.

Even though I feel like I need to lose 30 more pounds, I don't need to. The doctor said just 15 more would be fine. "Skinny" is not always healthy. What you put into your body and the quantity is what makes you healthy.

 

[sys212]

Thanks for all the suggestions and the encouragement, guys I will try to take it slow. Im gonna remember all ur advice and start working on my diet frm today!