Very very interesting thread! I'll try my best not to offend anyone here, and if I do, that certainly is not my intention!
Yes, I have seen very many similarities between D/s and male / female roles as defined in the Bible. In fact, I think that they are different levels of the same concept. First off, I think a lot of folks might seem to think that D/s is the same thing as sadism / masochism. Not true. Totally different. D/s involves enjoying being dominant or submissive, while sado-masochism involves enjoying(?) the giving or receiving of pain. (Oe Kaay...). I think that some folks might need to review some other definitions here as well. "dominant" means "ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence", while "submissive" means "inclined or ready to submit, unresistingly or humbly obedient". While we're here, I'll add "domineering" which means "inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing, tyrannical". Dominant is a trait that I posess and sometimes display, while domineering is a quality that I find no use for and avoid in any relationship. "domineering" reeks of selfishness and narcissism in the extreme, and I don't much care for folks like that.
If we read Ephesians, chapter 5, we note that there are commands given to both husbands and wives as to their roles in a marriage. Husbands are commanded to "Love your wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself for it.", while wives are commanded to "...Submit to your own husbands in all things, as to the Lord." I find these commands to be an affirmation of the way we were created, not an arbitrary role assignment. Genesis 3:16 states "...and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Two things are stated here as fact; One, that women will desire their husbands, and two, that Husbands will take the leadership position. I see nothing in there about a choice in the matter of role assignment, either in Genesis or Ephesians; It's simply the way things are, and the way we were made, and things seem to work better, at least for me, when I go with GOD's flow.
When I think back to the times when a woman has wanted my attention, either in starting a relationship or later (sexually), i notice that she has tried to gain my attention through attraction (passive) rather that promotion (active). Women have dressed to elicit a response from me by wearing too tight pants, too short skirts, leaving one too many buttons undone, or posing provocatively in the hope that I would notice and act on what I've seen. Basically, they've set the stage and then waited to see what I will do; they have acted passively and hoped I'd respond actively. The instances have been rare that a woman has approached me and pushed to get things going. When my wife wants me sexually, she does the same things, but on a higher level. She will dress for show, and if she isn't dressed, she'll adopt a revealing and submissive pose, knowing that she will get my attention! She's basically telling me that her whole body is mine, and that she'd like me to take her and do with her whatever I will; She's asking me to act rather than pushing me down and doing what she wants to me! She knows that in submitting to me, she will receive pleasure, and that I will act lovingly and unselfishly to take care of her need. When she is very excited, she will direct me either verbally or with little pulls and tugs to get me to act for her pleasure. Rarely does she jump up and get aggressive (although that's fun sometimes, too!).
Most of the women that I've known prefer assertive, dominant, uninhibited males to those who are passive and reserved, and most men I know prefer quiet, gentle women to those who are aggressive or arrogant. Just an observation. No one is either passive or aggressive, dominant or submissive, outgoing or reserved all the time, and these qualities differ among individuals. Men are generally more assertive and women are generally more reserved. Generally.
D/s takes this natural role assignment to yet a higher level by defining these roles more precisely. The woman says "I will submit", and the man says "I will do what I think is best". Most of the women that I have known thoroughly enjoy being physically restrained during marital relations. When I've asked why, they have said that they enjoy not having to take responsibility for their own pleasure. They don't have to do anything except enjoy what's happening. Psychologically, I've been told that most women were raised with a very negative attitude regarding sex. They've been taught or told that "it's naughty" or "it's nasty" or "you'll be labeled as a bad girl" or "get a bad reputation" and so forth. All very negative connotations for something that was designed to be pleasureable. Then they get married and all that is supposed to be reversed literally overnight? That's a tall order. So it's really no surprise that most women carry a great deal of guilt about sex, and enjoying it even more so. Being restrained physically removes (mentally) any responsibility for her pleasure, since she cannot actively control the situation from that point on, freeing her to enjoy what's happening without inhibition. Much more enjoyable! It can be taken further than this, but it's still an acceptance of what role will be played by either partner.
The comparison I get to a christian lifestyle is this. All Christians are to submit to the leadership of Christ. He is dominant in our lives. We are the sheep, He is the shepherd. We are guided, directed, and cared for, while he cares for us, feeds us, and blesses us. He is the vinedresser, pruning things from us that are unproductive, and we are the vine, growing under submission to His loving care and (hopefully) producing fruit for His use. He is active in our relationship, we are passive. When I try to tell GOD how I think things should be or what I want, I'm usually met with disappointment, but when I lie back and open myself to His love and care and submit myself to His rules and directions for my life, things work out wonderfully! Surprised? I thought not. Neither relationship has anything to do with pain or combative intentions, but both relationships involve submission (acceptance of what is) and dominance (leadership and action). I wouldn't want it any other way.
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