Stuck

[Daysoni]

I don't really know how to explain how I feel right now. I'm going through a tough period. I'm wanting to quit going to my DR. and Counselor. They want me to go to treatment. There is just ni way to go. I have know insurance. And I don't want to go any way. Some times I want to be with out my ED but right now I want it more then anything. I'm not happy with my self and can't stand the way that I look and i'm scared that people might be seeing what I see. It's hard to even go out the front door at times or to have friends around me. And I want to lose at least 20 to 30 more pounds. Idon't know how not to feel this way. Or that I want not to. I think I'm tired of evrything and tired of the struggle so I need to just accept that this is to be my life. I talk to God and pray and do devotionals I feel right with God. I'm just not sure that he wants me to be without my Ed yet. Some one giv me some kind of advice to help me see something differently. HELP

 

[madison1101]

If you cannot afford treatment, can you get some sort of therapy? In your therapy, you should explore your self-image, body image, expectations of yourself, your childhood trauma, and your eating behaviors. The therapy should also teach you new coping skills for dealing with negative emotions. If it doesn't explore those things, you need a new therapist.

Our eating disordered behaviors are coping mechanisms for dealing with negative emotions. Because you do not want to feel those emotions, you choose, unconciously, to do the eating disordered behaviors. In therapy you can identify those emotions when they come up and learn to replace the eating disorder with healthy coping skills. It ain't going to be easy, and it ain't going to be pretty in the beginning, but it is well worth it if you stick with it if you do.

Your doctor should provide you with nutritional guidelines so that you can work toward a healthy weight according to him/her, not you.

You are not doomed to stay with your eating disorder, unless you want to. There are options. Get therapy and follow a medical professional's nutritional guidelines.

There are mental health agencies that base their fees on income, or are paid for through medical assistance. Explore that.