Struggling

[StephanieAnn]

Hi, I'm Stephanie. I joined to try to find some help, guidance actually. I've looked all over the internet for a resource to help me get in contact with someone that could answer my questions and no luck. So maybe through this site I can find the answers I need.

 

[Tigger45]

Hi Stephanie, prayers that we are a blessing to you

 

[StephanieAnn]

Hi Stephanie, prayers that we are a blessing to you

Thank you.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Hello Stephanie, so glad you joined us here at CF!

I pray that your questions get answers here and you grow in your walk with the Lord.

 

[truefiction1]

Hi, I'm Stephanie. I joined to try to find some help, guidance actually. I've looked all over the internet for a resource to help me get in contact with someone that could answer my questions and no luck. So maybe through this site I can find the answers I need.

Hey.

 

[singpeace]

Stephanie - Stephanie or Stefanie is a female name that comes from the Greek name
Στέφανος (Stefanos) meaning "crown".

Philippians 4:1
Therefore . . . I love you . . . for you are my joy and crown . . .


Isaiah 41:9-10
9 . . . I have chosen you and will not throw you away.

10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 43:1-3
. . . “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine!

2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. [you will not even smell of smoke]

3 For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

 

[Heavenhome]

Hello Stephanie and welcome

God tells us in His word that we will find Him when we seek Him.
Ask, seek and find and there's no better place than the Bible. I pray you will be encouraged and blessed with your time here.

There's plenty of friends here who are happy to help in any way they can and our ultimate helper is God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

God bless you

 

[StephanieAnn]

This may seem odd and if it's not aloud please let me know. I have recognized myself a s a Christian all my life. Some church throughout childhood and adulthood but not a lot. Have always identified as Baptist, being from the south and generally all of my family who go to church did as well so I followed what I saw. I pray daily and I know I have always felt heard. Always felt Him there. As I said I have never been a strict churchgoer and pretty much kept my beliefs and practices in the home, I raised my kids to go to church although they have, as adults, made their own decisions about whether they go or not. I say all of this so you will understand that yes I have had faith my whole life and I never thought anything could shake it. Sept. 1st I lost my brother. He was only 40 and it was unexpected. He has 3 kids and his youngest only 8 months. I raced to his home when I heard something was wrong. I'm a nurse. I could do nothing. He was gone. I closed my brothers eyes for the last time. Anger took me over. I never thought I could feel so much anger. It has gotten better, at times, but it is still there. I think I lost faith that night. I've found myself questioning everything. Everything. And now here I am weeks later. I still pray. But I dont feel heard. Maybe punishment for losing faith, maybe bc I still question all ive believed for so long. Now what I'm hoping to get out of all that is information. As I said I have always identified as Baptist, but I feel like I need more than to be told hes in a better place and hes not sick or in pain, or that this is Gods will and God has a plan for him. These are the things I've heard from pastors. I dont know much about other denominations but I always felt like Catholic priests were probably the oldest teachers of Christianity and in my mind I've come to believe that maybe speaking to a priest might give me more insight and help me to accept what I have so far only not been able to. I dont really know what I'm looking for. Answers, I guess. I dont read the Bible but I know that many people see it as the answer to all things. I just feel like I need to talk to someone of an older faith. And I'm honestly afraid to walk into a Cathiloc church and just approach someone because I dont know what to expect. I'm lost. I can't see myself as an atheist. I know what I've felt when I pray and I just can't pretend it wasn't real. But right now I am so confused. As I said if this is not allowed please let me know. I don't mean to offend anyone or anyone beliefs, I just dont know where else to turn.

 

[HTacianas]

Hi, I'm Stephanie. I joined to try to find some help, guidance actually. I've looked all over the internet for a resource to help me get in contact with someone that could answer my questions and no luck. So maybe through this site I can find the answers I need.

Hi Stephanie. Ask away!

 

[truefiction1]

This may seem odd and if it's not aloud please let me know. I have recognized myself a s a Christian all my life. Some church throughout childhood and adulthood but not a lot. Have always identified as Baptist, being from the south and generally all of my family who go to church did as well so I followed what I saw. I pray daily and I know I have always felt heard. Always felt Him there. As I said I have never been a strict churchgoer and pretty much kept my beliefs and practices in the home, I raised my kids to go to church although they have, as adults, made their own decisions about whether they go or not. I say all of this so you will understand that yes I have had faith my whole life and I never thought anything could shake it. Sept. 1st I lost my brother. He was only 40 and it was unexpected. He has 3 kids and his youngest only 8 months. I raced to his home when I heard something was wrong. I'm a nurse. I could do nothing. He was gone. I closed my brothers eyes for the last time. Anger took me over. I never thought I could feel so much anger. It has gotten better, at times, but it is still there. I think I lost faith that night. I've found myself questioning everything. Everything. And now here I am weeks later. I still pray. But I dont feel heard. Maybe punishment for losing faith, maybe bc I still question all ive believed for so long. Now what I'm hoping to get out of all that is information. As I said I have always identified as Baptist, but I feel like I need more than to be told hes in a better place and hes not sick or in pain, or that this is Gods will and God has a plan for him. These are the things I've heard from pastors. I dont know much about other denominations but I always felt like Catholic priests were probably the oldest teachers of Christianity and in my mind I've come to believe that maybe speaking to a priest might give me more insight and help me to accept what I have so far only not been able to. I dont really know what I'm looking for. Answers, I guess. I dont read the Bible but I know that many people see it as the answer to all things. I just feel like I need to talk to someone of an older faith. And I'm honestly afraid to walk into a Cathiloc church and just approach someone because I dont know what to expect. I'm lost. I can't see myself as an atheist. I know what I've felt when I pray and I just can't pretend it wasn't real. But right now I am so confused. As I said if this is not allowed please let me know. I don't mean to offend anyone or anyone beliefs, I just dont know where else to turn.

Orthodox priests Live within the Holy Tradition of the ancient Church, and may also be able to help with answers. I'm not a priest, or a spiritual father, but merely a deacon who serves others, but I won't refuse to answer questions if I'm made able to by God's grace.

Oh, and there are some priests, I believe, who post in TAW subforum here in Christian Forums, so you might be interested in conversing in that forum as well.

 

[Hazelelponi]

This may seem odd and if it's not aloud please let me know. I have recognized myself a s a Christian all my life. Some church throughout childhood and adulthood but not a lot. Have always identified as Baptist, being from the south and generally all of my family who go to church did as well so I followed what I saw. I pray daily and I know I have always felt heard. Always felt Him there. As I said I have never been a strict churchgoer and pretty much kept my beliefs and practices in the home, I raised my kids to go to church although they have, as adults, made their own decisions about whether they go or not. I say all of this so you will understand that yes I have had faith my whole life and I never thought anything could shake it. Sept. 1st I lost my brother. He was only 40 and it was unexpected. He has 3 kids and his youngest only 8 months. I raced to his home when I heard something was wrong. I'm a nurse. I could do nothing. He was gone. I closed my brothers eyes for the last time. Anger took me over. I never thought I could feel so much anger. It has gotten better, at times, but it is still there. I think I lost faith that night. I've found myself questioning everything. Everything. And now here I am weeks later. I still pray. But I dont feel heard. Maybe punishment for losing faith, maybe bc I still question all ive believed for so long. Now what I'm hoping to get out of all that is information. As I said I have always identified as Baptist, but I feel like I need more than to be told hes in a better place and hes not sick or in pain, or that this is Gods will and God has a plan for him. These are the things I've heard from pastors. I dont know much about other denominations but I always felt like Catholic priests were probably the oldest teachers of Christianity and in my mind I've come to believe that maybe speaking to a priest might give me more insight and help me to accept what I have so far only not been able to. I dont really know what I'm looking for. Answers, I guess. I dont read the Bible but I know that many people see it as the answer to all things. I just feel like I need to talk to someone of an older faith. And I'm honestly afraid to walk into a Cathiloc church and just approach someone because I dont know what to expect. I'm lost. I can't see myself as an atheist. I know what I've felt when I pray and I just can't pretend it wasn't real. But right now I am so confused. As I said if this is not allowed please let me know. I don't mean to offend anyone or anyone beliefs, I just dont know where else to turn.

You need grief counselling...and some anger feelings are going to be normal, you work through them.

I lost my dad young, then I lost my daughter when she was only 23 and had babies.. My brother died three months prior to her but I think his death was peripheral at the time because I was dealing with my daughters impending death so my brothers sudden death was more, more death at the time..

We all grieve, and grieving is a process no matter what.

Faith in God helps, but sometimes the process serves to strengthen faith in the end, and maybe that's what you need, a process where you see what God is one more time, which is good no matter what it may seem like to us at any given time.

God is a big picture God..

Grief counselling.

 

[StephanieAnn]

Orthodox priests Live within the Holy Tradition of the ancient Church, and may also be able to help with answers. I'm not a priest, or a spiritual father, but merely a deacon who serves others, but I won't refuse to answer questions if I'm made able to by God's grace.

Oh, and there are some priests, I believe, who post in TAW subforum here in Christian Forums, so you might be interested in conversing in that forum as well.

Thank you

 

[StephanieAnn]

You need grief counselling...and some anger feelings are going to be normal, you work through them.

I lost my dad young, then I lost my daughter when she was only 23 and had babies.. My brother died three months prior to her but I think his death was peripheral at the time because I was dealing with my daughters impending death so my brothers sudden death was more, more death at the time..

We all grieve, and grieving is a process no matter what.

Faith in God helps, but sometimes the process serves to strengthen faith in the end, and maybe that's what you need, a process where you see what God is one more time, which is good no matter what it may seem like to us at any given time.

God is a big picture God..

Grief counselling.

Thank you

 

[Hazelelponi]

Thank you

Your welcome. If you ever need to talk send me a message .. I'm here.

I held my daughters hand when she died, it's not easy.

Memorials & Grief Support

^^^ you can post in that forum. And there are chaplains here also.

 

[StephanieAnn]

Your welcome. If you ever need to talk send me a message .. I'm here.

I held my daughters hand when she died, it's not easy.

Memorials & Grief Support

It has been so hard. On the entire family. Thank you.

 

[truefiction1]

Thank you

You're welcome. Death of a loved one sure has a way of turning our previously unquestioned view of things utterly upside down and inside out. It took me a good deal to adjust to the passing of my father. I'm sorry for your loss of your brother and for the difficulties this will cause you, and yours and his families.

 

[StephanieAnn]

You're welcome. Death of a loved one sure has a way of turning our previously unquestioned view of things utterly upside down and inside out. It took me a good deal to adjust to the passing of my father. I'm sorry for your loss of your brother and for the difficulties this will cause you, and yours and his families.

Thank you.

 

[truefiction1]

This may seem odd and if it's not aloud please let me know. I have recognized myself a s a Christian all my life. Some church throughout childhood and adulthood but not a lot. Have always identified as Baptist, being from the south and generally all of my family who go to church did as well so I followed what I saw. I pray daily and I know I have always felt heard. Always felt Him there. As I said I have never been a strict churchgoer and pretty much kept my beliefs and practices in the home, I raised my kids to go to church although they have, as adults, made their own decisions about whether they go or not. I say all of this so you will understand that yes I have had faith my whole life and I never thought anything could shake it. Sept. 1st I lost my brother. He was only 40 and it was unexpected. He has 3 kids and his youngest only 8 months. I raced to his home when I heard something was wrong. I'm a nurse. I could do nothing. He was gone. I closed my brothers eyes for the last time. Anger took me over. I never thought I could feel so much anger. It has gotten better, at times, but it is still there. I think I lost faith that night. I've found myself questioning everything. Everything. And now here I am weeks later. I still pray. But I dont feel heard. Maybe punishment for losing faith, maybe bc I still question all ive believed for so long. Now what I'm hoping to get out of all that is information. As I said I have always identified as Baptist, but I feel like I need more than to be told hes in a better place and hes not sick or in pain, or that this is Gods will and God has a plan for him. These are the things I've heard from pastors. I dont know much about other denominations but I always felt like Catholic priests were probably the oldest teachers of Christianity and in my mind I've come to believe that maybe speaking to a priest might give me more insight and help me to accept what I have so far only not been able to. I dont really know what I'm looking for. Answers, I guess. I dont read the Bible but I know that many people see it as the answer to all things. I just feel like I need to talk to someone of an older faith. And I'm honestly afraid to walk into a Cathiloc church and just approach someone because I dont know what to expect. I'm lost. I can't see myself as an atheist. I know what I've felt when I pray and I just can't pretend it wasn't real. But right now I am so confused. As I said if this is not allowed please let me know. I don't mean to offend anyone or anyone beliefs, I just dont know where else to turn.

So we see here, through this most honest baring of your soul, that this senseless and unfair loss of your brother has led you to be consumed with anger, and with doubt in the existence of God, Who is Love. And being overwhelmed with so much pain and grief, you no longer seem to be able to trust in the notion that there is even a God to hear any prayers or requests for help from you, let alone answer in any good way. And now you think that you're inability to feel that your prayers are being heard or are likely to be answered may be punishment for having doubts about God. Am I understanding you rightly, Stephanie Ann? Or am I missing something?

 

[singpeace]

Dear Stephanie, when I read your Introduction post I was immediately drawn to give you those specific scriptures. I don't normally do that for a newcomer; just welcome them and say hello.
I sincerely believe God led you here.

The Lord knows you are numb, angry, confused and deeply wounded. I just believe He is reaching out to you using this platform because He knows your need to hear from him and that are locked down spiritually for a while.

Of course you feel all that you feel, and God doesn't expect you to meet this tragedy with supernatural ability. He would never in a million years punish you, nor would he withhold his love and mercy simply because you are crushed . He loves us more than we love our own kids, right?.

Stephanie, I cannot tell you how sorry I am this has happened. Often people don't know what to say, so they end up repeating tag-lines hoping it helps. In truth, nothing anyone says can do very much to ease your grief. I had a similar loss 8 years ago, and unexpected losses seem to take forever to run their course, but eventually for me the grief did start to diminish. Of course the loss never goes away completely.


Lord, thank you for Stephanie. I know you see her broken heart, and Lord you promise not to despise or scorn the suffering of the afflicted; not to hide your face from Stephanie, but to listen to her cry for help. (psalm 22:24) Lord you promised to be close to the brokenhearted and that you save those who are crushed in spirit. (psalm 34:18) Be close to this precious daughter and send the comfort she needs most.

Stephanie's soul thirsts for you, God. Her soul thirsts for the living God and waits for you to help her see and know you have not changed. She needs a breakthrough and assurance again like before. Tears have been Stephanie's food day and night. Father God, direct your love toward my sister throughout the day and at night let your song be with her— a prayer to the God of her life. Lord help Stephanie to keep her hope in you, and bring her again to a place where she may yet praise you, her Savior and her God. (psalm 42)

 

[StephanieAnn]

So we see here, through this most honest baring of your soul, that this senseless and unfair loss of your brother has led you to be consumed with anger, and with doubt in the existence of God, Who is Love. And being overwhelmed with so much pain and grief, you no longer seem to be able to trust in the notion that there is even a God to hear any prayers or requests for help from you, let alone answer in any good way. And now you think that you're inability to feel that your prayers are being heard or are likely to be answered may be punishment for having doubts about God. Am I understanding you rightly, Stephanie Ann? Or am I missing something?

Yes. Pretty accurate. I'm more confused than anything. I just feel lost.