struggling

[Imani]

not really Bev. I see why everyone else thinks that, but really honestly truthfully it is really me that is the one stuffing up. You see everything happened because of things I did to make them happen, so maybe im not totally the one to blame but i am to blame some and if i hadnt done the things to make other people need to punish me or whatever then nothing would be this bad now. and because things are bad inside now i keep stuffing up with hurting myself too. i dont know how to explain it really but i hope that makes some sense.

Im sorry
Sara

 

[Bevlina]

Sara, in life, we all make mistakes. Every single person makes mistakes Pet. We are human beings. But, I think the first thing we must learn to do, is to forgive ourselves for whatever mistake we make.
I think maybe that you cannot forgive yourself and may be feeling remorse.

 

[Imani]

I'll never forgive myself for losing Melodie. Never. I dont deserve forgiveness for that.

Sara

 

[Bevlina]

And, I believe therein lies you problem Sara. Darling, you must learn to forgive yourself in order to start anew.

 

[goldenviolet]

hello again...

the way God sees you, is really important. Bevlina and i see how God's love is. this is why we are loving you. we love the way God wants His children to love eachother. once you start understanding the love God has for us, you will start to love yourself and know why everyone is 'nice'. Bevlina wants you to see that you aren't loving yourself...
if you need to see that all of us are guilty; BUT ARE FREE FROM OUR SINS THROUGH JESUS... live as a cleansed child of God. the bible tells us our sins are no more. we get a brandnew life.

it is satan who tells us we are worthless. so try to catch yourself from apologizing over and over. you aren't doing anything to say sorry for. try to catch yourself from feeling like you aren't good enough to recieve God's gifts. remember the armor and sword of God? it is the word of God... the bible: put those scriptures up on your mirrors, and frig, and wall, and computer. those are God's words for each of us to see His love.

Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 and having shod you feet with the preparationof the gospel of peace;
16 above all, taking the sheild of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
17 and take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God.
18 praying always with prayer and supplication in the spirit, being watchful to this end with all perserverance and supplication for all the saints.

this is why God's word is so important! we need it. it is our spiritual food.

 

[Lambkins]

Hi Sara

You are special to God!

I know you are special to God, because he is leading people into your life to pray for you!

I was Pmed by a friend to pray for you, because she had read your journal.

Then I read your journal and thought that I should Pm Rdee.

I had know idea that Rdee knew you already! As I have just recently met her myself!

I see God's hands at work in your life, you may not feel that God is there for you. But we see it and you will eventually see it also!

God Love's you so much, just as you are!

I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love--not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:38-39

I know this is hard to grasp right now!
But I will be praying that "the Love that God has for you" will become so much a part of your being and thinking, that it will start to flow out to help others!

to you Sara!!

I will be praying for you!!
As others are too!!

 

[Imani]

um... ok thank you... sorry my journal is so messed up... its just my feelings and thats the only way i know to write it...im sorry

Sara

 

[Bevlina]

In Sara's case a particular verse goes over and over in my mind, I don't know why, but it's "Many are called, but few are chosen".
Sara, maybe our Father has chosen you for a special purpose in life? What wonderful work you could do for Him!

 

[goldenviolet]

my sweet little butterfly..... it is true. lambkins pmed me and asked me to pray for "sara" i knew it was you. this is what i told you right before i left to pray. hearts are being stirred to reach out to you. we feel the power and love of God in it. you are so special.....

 

[Imani]

i wish i could...

 

[Lambkins]

sorry my journal is so messed up... its just my feelings and thats the only way i know to write it...im sorry

Don't be sorry for your journal!
I only wish I could express myself as you do!
You are very talented!
Just waiting for the day when, the sadness in your journal turns into joy.
And it will happen, because Jesus Loves You!
Hugs to you!

 

[Imani]

thank you Lambkins, thank you Dee, thank you Bev, thank you any one who prayed or anything...

I dont have words right now to say what i want to... but im really greatful to you all for listening to me and replying to me and being nice to me and just well... trying to care.

Sara

 

[Bevlina]

That is why we have this Forum Sara. Just to love you and to hold you close. You are very precious to us, all those who SI are precious to us because there is a reason why people SI, and the reasons are so tragic.
We want to be here for you. Sometimes Australia sleeps, sometimes other parts of the world sleep. But, we just want to be here for you.
And Dee is right, hearts are being stirred to pray for you.

 

[goldenviolet]

my little butterfly keep trying.... that is good practice! i'm so proud of you for continuing to reach out!!! everything will get better... keep searching for God's answers!

 

[notworthknowing]

Sara!!


I'm praying for you too sweetie! Keep talking about it. Don't keep it in. Remember lots of people care about you, and we all just want to help you get through all this. Never feel like anything is too unimportant to talk about, and never feel like you are bothering me, or anybody here, by talking about it. Remember my door is always open to you, anytime day or night. Im so glad we met Sara, I love you dearly!

Love,
Kaitie

 

[Bevlina]

Kaitie!!

 

[Lambkins]

Hi Sara!

Just popped in to let you know that I am still praying for you!

Love and Hugs, Sheila

 

[Imani]

you dont have to pray for me ok seriously none of you do im not worth the time and effort im just gonna keep failing you all so your better of praying for someone who it will actually help ok

Sara

 

[goldenviolet]

Sara! you belong to us, and we belong to you!

Romans 12:5 in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Romans 12:10 be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

we love you with the love that Jesus has taught us ... try to except it hun. you can push all the old and wrong examples you have had, out of your life... practice that ok? you are our butterfly... child... sister... daughter... friend.

 

[Bevlina]

you dont have to pray for me ok seriously none of you do im not worth the time and effort im just gonna keep failing you all so your better of praying for someone who it will actually help ok

Sara

Nope! We are gonna keep on praying for you Sara. Know why? Because we can!
You are not going to deter us either is she girls?
Satan may be the Prince of this world at present, but, Jesus is King!!!
We are going to Praise God for you every minute of every day! And, each time you rebutt us, we will Praise God!
We will Praise God until your self esteem is lifted and our voices will echo through the heavens. We are all Children of God here Sara. Why? Because we have faith in Him, and Him alone.
You think you are not worth the time and effort. But, that is what you think, not what we know!