Struggling with forgiveness!

[Mareece Butler-pona]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

 

[MARIAH36]

Something I've come to realize in my Christian journey, is that I really am just a weak human and with certain sins I must constantly catch myself before I engage in them (ie. gossiping). Because we are only human, it's natural for you (and all of us) to feel anger towards those who have hurt us or the ones we love. From everything I have learned and been taught about God, He knows this about us! He knows we fail, we may sin - but He still loves us! That was His entire motivation in sending His son to die on the cross for our SIN! So, Mareece, please do not feel discouraged because you are struggling with sin - we all do. The fact that you are able to acknowledge this battle you are fighting means that you are on the right track. Keep praying for the strength and encouragement to find forgiveness - dive into God's word. I am praying for you!

 

[YesMe]

You know, I had/have the same problem, how can I love the ones that are hurting me, how can I forgive the ones that treated me bad... Jesus said that He came for the sick, not for the healty, so this is how I understand it, people that are hurting other people by their behaviour or by their words are the ones that are sick, they suffer, they live in darkness, they are not truly free, we should feel mercy and love for them, that's what I understand from Jesus words, "Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you", pray for them.Hate consumes but love brings back the life, and it brings it more fully than ever before.

 

[paul1149]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

Jesus accepts us where we are, as long as we come to Him with a sincere heart. Otherwise no one would have a chance. The difference between grace and law is that grace covers our imperfections, while law condemns.

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. -Rom 6:14
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes. -Rom 10:4​

Even while we're still struggling with sin, God is not imputing it to us, He is on our side helping us.

in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. -2Cor 5:19​

Even if you're not perfect yet, if you forgive in obedience you are honoring Christ and His word. That's an excellent start. Do that, and keep working on loving your enemies and forgiving from the heart. Work with what you have, and more will be given.

Because we are under grace, not law, we have the freedom not to be perfect yet, and we have the freedom to grow. It's like teaching a kid to bake a cake. They make a mess, they make mistakes, but that's how they learn. Soon they get it. If they are yelled at every time, at some point they'll give up and never learn.

Give Romans 8 and 2 Corinthians 3 a read if you will. The grace of God is a powerful thing, and can do far more than the law ever could. We have an amazing covenant based on the love of God in Christ Jesus.

 

[Tolworth John]

my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ

Don't you think that Jesus already knows your mixed feelings, that he understands them?
You are not required to forgive, unless they have sincerely asked for your forgiveness, but you do have to hand the incident(s), your hurt feelings, anger, resentment, etc over to God.

It is only then with Gods grace that you will be able to show love to those who hurt you.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

Read and meditate upon all of this:
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 26 - 1599 Geneva Bible

Our Lord and Savior turned to his Heavenly Father (in prayer three times) when his disciples fell asleep instead of praying as Jesus had asked them to...at Judas's betrayal, Jesus looks unto his Heavenly Father in prayer.

Jesus prays for Peter knowing he will deny our Lord three times...Peter says he'd never deny the Lord...but Peter does in fact deny Jesus.

We be in Christ, it is the Lord we must seek to enable us to do what isn't natural
for us to do...like loving our enemies as ourselves...forgiving those who hurt us etc.
Ask the Lord to help/enable you to love those who are being unloving towards you.

What is agape: What is agape love?

 

[DreamerOfTheHeart]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

This is a good one!

I always remember Jesus saying how forgiveness is like asking for someone to pay what they owe us, which can make God angry, as God forgives us what we owe Him.

That helps me remember to forgive.


As for anger when mistreated, that is certainly normal. But, you are being too vague, too general, for me to say much there. There are many situations where we might get rightly angry, as Jesus did. (I do not mean "many" as in anger should be anything but the most rare of emotion for us.)

So, for me to better answer the question, you would have to be more specific about the sort of situation or the very specific situation you are thinking of.

 

[limerick]

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way

Here are some thoughts that I hope would be of help to you

Philippians 1:17-18 the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice

In these verses Paul talks about whether our motives matter when we do things. Although it would be ideal for us to have pure motives, it is explained that our motives actually matter less than our actions

If you are loving your enemies, regardless of whatever motive you may think you have, you are doing what you should be doing

That is assuming, however, that these enemies of yours are people that you have no way of getting away from

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm

Although we should love our enemies, we also need to get away from harmful situations, and harmful people

Try to get away from the harmful people in your life, if you can

To the extent that you would be unable to get away from such people, then try to deal with them as well as you can

 

[LoricaLady]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

The way to get free of anger and resentment is to get off the mental treadmill you are on now. I know this from personal experience that as long as you keep rehashing this and that, and wondering about that and this, and so on, you will not get free.
It takes practice to keep turning your mind to other things. Lots of practice. It can take at least a month to get the hang of how to live life off the "treadmill." Even then, count on it, the thoughts will try to come back. Push them away. They are toxic. You can do it! I did it and so can you!
Once you learn how to change your focus, consistently, you will be surprised at how much more peace you will have.
The Bible says "The weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but mighty to the destroying of strongholds" and this issue is a major stronghold in your mind and heart "casting down vain imaginations and everything that exalts itself against the knowledge of YHWH" aka God "and bringing every thought captive" to Him.
Another, less powerful but still powerful, help can be singing praise songs. Singing praise songs is a form of spiritual warfare as you can see with David and Saul, Paul and Silas in prison, and the preists of Jehoshaphat.
Praying for you.

 

[Mareece Butler-pona]

Don't you think that Jesus already knows your mixed feelings, that he understands them?
You are not required to forgive, unless they have sincerely asked for your forgiveness, but you do have to hand the incident(s), your hurt feelings, anger, resentment, etc over to God.

It is only then with Gods grace that you will be able to show love to those who hurt you.

How do i give my anger, and resentment to God? I agree with what you said but i find it hard to let my anger go, and give it to God when it Comes to surface.

 

[Mareece Butler-pona]

Jesus accepts us where we are, as long as we come to Him with a sincere heart. Otherwise no one would have a chance. The difference between grace and law is that grace covers our imperfections, while law condemns.

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. -Rom 6:14
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes. -Rom 10:4​

Even while we're still struggling with sin, God is not imputing it to us, He is on our side helping us.

in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. -2Cor 5:19​

Even if you're not perfect yet, if you forgive in obedience you are honoring Christ and His word. That's an excellent start. Do that, and keep working on loving your enemies and forgiving from the heart. Work with what you have, and more will be given.

Because we are under grace, not law, we have the freedom not to be perfect yet, and we have the freedom to grow. It's like teaching a kid to bake a cake. They make a mess, they make mistakes, but that's how they learn. Soon they get it. If they are yelled at every time, at some point they'll give up and never learn.

Give Romans 8 and 2 Corinthians 3 a read if you will. The grace of God is a powerful thing, and can do far more than the law ever could. We have an amazing covenant based on the love of God in Christ Jesus.

after we are saved when does sin become willful sin? I love your response by the way !

 

[paul1149]

after we are saved when does sin become willful sin? I love your response by the way !

Thank you very much! That's a good question, and it points to the hidden things of the heart. The Bible says that the heart is a mystery:

The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it? - Jer 17:9​

Even man cannot understand himself completely. But God knows the secrets of the heart perfectly. He will judge man accordingly, and that is why His judgments will be perfect. This is where fear of the Lord comes in.

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. - 2Co 7:1​

As long as we're in this fallen flesh, rubbing shoulders with a sinful world, and subject to the wiles of the devil, a healthy dose of fear is appropriate and good for us. It shouldn't be chronic or malignant, but it should kick in when we're getting too close to the line, for our own protection.

So to your question, I can't point out a hard place where sin becomes willful, but I can point in the direction of how to deal with the issue. The way forward is to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.

God commends Himself in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly - Rom 4
We love because He first loved us -1jn 4
He who is forgiven much, loves much
Perfect love casts out fear - 1jn 4​

If we drink deeply of the love of God, and if we realize the great sinfulness each of us has been saved from, the only response is to live Him in return for all He has freely given us. And through that love we will gain the power to overcome sin, and to love from a sincere heart those who have offended us.

This is a process, so don't get down on yourself. Keep working with what you have, in good faith. Hebrews tells us that it is by patience that we obtain and preserve our souls. You might check out the wisdom of god in James 3, and the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5.

 

[Mareece Butler-pona]

This is a good one!

I always remember Jesus saying how forgiveness is like asking for someone to pay what they owe us, which can make God angry, as God forgives us what we owe Him.

That helps me remember to forgive.


As for anger when mistreated, that is certainly normal. But, you are being too vague, too general, for me to say much there. There are many situations where we might get rightly angry, as Jesus did. (I do not mean "many" as in anger should be anything but the most rare of emotion for us.)

So, for me to better answer the question, you would have to be more specific about the sort of situation or the very specific situation you are thinking of.

You are right, it is kinda vague

This is a good one!

I always remember Jesus saying how forgiveness is like asking for someone to pay what they owe us, which can make God angry, as God forgives us what we owe Him.

That helps me remember to forgive.


As for anger when mistreated, that is certainly normal. But, you are being too vague, too general, for me to say much there. There are many situations where we might get rightly angry, as Jesus did. (I do not mean "many" as in anger should be anything but the most rare of emotion for us.)

So, for me to better answer the question, you would have to be more specific about the sort of situation or the very specific situation you are thinking of.

Ok gotcha, sorry for being so vague. To be more specific I'm referring to the times when most people would respond as the saying goes allowing water to run off our backs two small offenses. But for me I treat every offense as big boulders being thrown at me. For example when a boss criticize my work, when I'm being told to clean up my mess when I always clean up my mess from family members who I'm staying with, when somebody speaks to me in a way that I would consider rude and disrespectful, and the list goes on and on daily for me. Especially with those closest to me. I found myself wrestling with pride and anger the most and unforgiveness as well

 

[discipler7]

Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

.
In the first place, did God really change His command to His people or Christians from "hate your enemy" to "love your enemy".?(MATTHEW.5:43) (cf; ROMANS.12:19-21)

I think the main gist of MATTHEW.5:17-48 is that if people like the Pharisees, reject Jesus as the Christ/Messiah but still want to be saved from hell when they die(= go to heaven), then they will have to love their enemy, pluck out their eyes and chop off their limbs, turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile and lend to all who ask. But if people accept Jesus as the Christ/Messiah/Savior, then they do not have to do the above "silliness", in order to be saved from hell = continue to keep God's Law.

At ACTS.15:24-29, God has exempted new Gentile Christians from any law of Moses which is a burden, eg circumcision and kosher foods. They are not exempted from any law which is not a burden, eg the Ten Commandments(EXODUS.20), DEUT.18:9-14, LEV.10:9 & 18:22, etc.
... In comparison, new Jewish Christians are required by God to continue to keep Moses Law, as many as possible, because it is not a burden to them.
... Be warned by DEUT.28:15, 1COR.5:5 & 11:30, 1JOHN.5:16-19, HEBREWS.10:26-31, 1COR.6:9-11, REV.22:12-15)

 

[Tolworth John]

How do i give my anger, and resentment to God? I agree with what you said but i find it hard to let my anger go, and give it to God when it Comes to surface.

That is the problem with giviong advice, how does one do it.
It is not the ahger but the cause of the anger that you have to tell God about, asking him to take away the hurt etc of what ever causes you to become angry about your past.
It is not easy to let go of incidents that have caused deep hurt and recentment.
Fortunetly God does understand us.

 

[Mareece Butler-pona]

I love your thought

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way

Here are some thoughts that I hope would be of help to you

Philippians 1:17-18 the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice

In these verses Paul talks about whether our motives matter when we do things. Although it would be ideal for us to have pure motives, it is explained that our motives actually matter less than our actions

If you are loving your enemies, regardless of whatever motive you may think you have, you are doing what you should be doing

That is assuming, however, that these enemies of yours are people that you have no way of getting away from

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm

Although we should love our enemies, we also need to get away from harmful situations, and harmful people

Try to get away from the harmful people in your life, if you can

To the extent that you would be unable to get away from such people, then try to deal with them as well as you can

I love your thoughts on this matter thank you so much for your encouragement and godly counsel!

 

[DreamerOfTheHeart]

Im struggling with the idea that in my being obedient to love my neighbor as myself, which is including my enemies, that i could be in sin because of my motive Is merely to be obedient to Christ. I want to care for my enemies but all i feel is anger when i am mistreated. Could i still love my enemies if my motives are to simply be obedient to Christ?

... edit...
You are right, it is kinda vague
... edit ...

Ok gotcha, sorry for being so vague. To be more specific I'm referring to the times when most people would respond as the saying goes allowing water to run off our backs two small offenses. But for me I treat every offense as big boulders being thrown at me. For example when a boss criticize my work, when I'm being told to clean up my mess when I always clean up my mess from family members who I'm staying with, when somebody speaks to me in a way that I would consider rude and disrespectful, and the list goes on and on daily for me. Especially with those closest to me. I found myself wrestling with pride and anger the most and unforgiveness as well

It really depends on the person and the circumstances. We are not asked to forgive everyone all the time for every thing. For instance, we are told what we bind to earth will be bound on Heaven. But, we are warned that if we judge incorrectly, then we will be held accountable for that. So, we are given much reason to judge - correctly - but with a strong emphasis on the accuracy of the judgment.

Accuracy is as hitting the bullseye. "Sin" is literally a Greek archery term meaning to miss the shot or bullseye.

Everyday life is dynamic, and people's situations are many and varied. You should seek to see how you can forgive someone, if you find your self judging them negatively in a strong way.

That calls for seeking to be merciful in heart.

Liberal in heart.

That can mean much research, and where research does not help, general peace making strategies.

I do not believe this direction is alien to you.

So, maybe is your question, why do you find such deep hurt in a situation where it seems like you should not even think of it?

That is another area of hard questions. That is an area where you probably need to do some introspection.

Can I relate? I sure can relate.

Hope this helps, let me know if any questions arise further from this.

Apologies for the delay.

I had to go away for just a little while.