Struggling to Respect My Husband To be...

[createdtoworship]

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouraging sharing.
Totally agree with it, I'm glad God brings me back to Him by reminding me my own blind spot through fellow believers around me

Once married, you can never, ever, ever, ever divorce unless he cheats on you, beats you, (or refuses to feed, cloth, or house you). At least not in a biblical church environment. In our church if you divorce over other issues than the above, you will be excommunicated from the church. Anyway, that is a separate issue. Let me put it this way, so you can understand.... I know that chemistry is more important to you than Godliness, that much is apparent. But chemistry is not the most important aspect of a marriage. It's friendship, mutual respect (which you admitted to not having), and most importantly Godliness (which you also admitted is lacking). So out of three essentials, you are missing two of them. All you have is chemistry and friendship. And if there is no respect, the man will distance himself. You can try to have respect, but you are actually correct in not respecting him. To respect him is to respect sin, and lukewarmness. I know the christian life is hard. But you get exactly what you put into your christian walk. If you are always compromising, you see a lack of joy, and fruitfullness. You see that God is distant and your prayers are hindered. however if you submit to God, believe in Him. Trust that He will give you your hearts desire, if you follow HIm. He won't rip you off. I promise. But a guy that does not have a heart for the lost, or a heart for ministry, while you do......well this is unequally yoked. I guess it concerns me that todays youth will throw their life away, and marry any old person the comes along, instead of waiting another few years (God forbid). I read this in God's word today, and I feel it applies to this situation....

The Bible says

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
Galatians 6:7‭-‬8 NKJV

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouraging sharing.
Totally agree with it, I'm glad God brings me back to Him by reminding me my own blind spot through fellow believers around me

 

[createdtoworship]

[UPDATE]

Just want to share again here as an update

After some counseling (with a trusted and godly married couple), prayer, and honest talk time with my fiance, we both grow stronger than before.
I'm amazed that when I humble myself in God and to my fiance, God really provides a way and refines both of us.
I finally realized that it is actually me who is self-righteous and prideful, while demanding lots of changes from my fiance and lack of appreciation to him.

Thankful that God opened my eyes, brought me back to repentance and restored my relationship with my fiance into a stronger one.

Thank you to those giving valuable, wise, and godly advice here too.

God bless

When we ask someone for "advice" ... Make sure we are really looking for "advice." I think most often when we seek advice, we are usually just looking for someone to agree with what we already want to do.

Just thought I would mention that

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouraging sharing.
Totally agree with it, I'm glad God brings me back to Him by reminding me my own blind spot through fellow believers around me

I hope you are seeing a theme here, these are all christians on twitter, over the last few days, I have quoted three separate tweets from today and yesterday alone, you probably won't agree with this, but this theme is from the Holy Spirit. Let go and let God. And if you will not reconsider this relationship, get some premarriage counseling workbooks (faith based) and work through them together to see if you are compatible, that is what they are designed for. (I will look for mine and tell you what they are later today)

 

[Larniavc]

Hi Everyone,

I just got engaged few months ago and is getting married next year.
My fiance and I are both a Christian and come from the Christian family.
We both are seeking for the pre-marriage course from our church, but the counselling course will only be available few months prior to the wedding as part of the church's normal practice.

Recently I have been struggling to respect my fiance and start to get scared what if I can't respect or submit to him once we get married later. The reasons behind this are mostly because I feel more superior than my fiance because of my spiritual growth, role of leadership at church, my independence and also comparing myself or other men to my fiance.
I know this is really wrong to do, but sometimes it is just really hard and make me wonder how to submit to my future husband when I'm doubting his capability of spiritual leadership etc. and thinking that I'm always more superior than him. Even worse is that when I compare him to other men at church who has more capability in spiritual leadership and other aspects in life that sometimes make me wondering around.

To make it worst, last week my best friend just called off her own wedding just few months before the wedding, which just make me more nervous and worried if that happens to me and my fiance as well.
I know that making comparison is toxic, but sometimes I also just wondering around how do we know that your man is really the one from God and he is the one that you intend to marry to?

Appreciate your valuable advice and prayer for me on this.

God bless.

I may be old fashioned but one should never marry unless you are certain your are compatible.

If you’re having sufficient doubt that you need to ask strangers on a website what to do he’s not for your.

Take a minute to think of the rest of your hopefully long life with him making you feel the way you describe.

Remember that there is no obligation to marry and the choice to marry should not be influenced by anyone apart from you and him.

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouraging sharing.
Totally agree with it, I'm glad God brings me back to Him by reminding me my own blind spot through fellow believers around me

I found the marriage counselling work books that we went through, at least do yourself a favor and go through them. It's a very wise investment in any Godly engagement (it's called "preparing for marriage God's way, by Dr. Wayne A. Mack". Also I posted a tweet just a few minutes ago it was for someone else, then I thought, wow it works here too.