Hello Community, I’m new here and I am seeking to hopefully find some help.
My wife and I have been married for a year and a half, but we dated for about 5 – 6 years before we married each other. We have had many great struggles within our dating and married life together, but seem to always overcome them together.
We need to move by March of this year, so we have been looking for a new home for the past few months. At first we were looking for places to rent around were we currently live (UT), but 3 days ago my wife decided that she was going to move to Arizona were her mom and family live. I also am not a really big fan of change, especially fast sudden changes like this one.
My wife has lived back and forth in between Utah and Arizona for all her life, so she also has extended family that lives around us in UT as well. I have lived in UT all of my life, the majority of my family lives here, and I absolutely love where a live. This is not to say that I would not be opposed to moving out of state latter on in life when we are move financially stable and further along in our marriage.
The new of her was a very big shock to me, and I really do not want to move down to AZ at this point in time. We have made pros and cons list multiple times and they are exactly the opposite of each other, so we cannot agree. She has since said given me an ultimatum that either we can either move together to AZ or that she is going to go leave to AZ on her own, and wanting a divorce.
My wife as just graduated with her bachelors, so she says she is not “tied down” here anymore, so she is ready to leave. But I am still currently going to school here. I could transfer schools down to AZ, but I really like my campus I am going to currently, and there would be a greatly likely hood of me losing a $10,000 scholarship. I also really like my job that I currently work at, and I am very likely to now receive a promotion that I have been waiting forever for soon, which I would be very sad to leave.
My family where we live now is very helpful, and always willing to help us in every which and way, but I would hesitate to say that her family in AZ would be as helpful and supportive as my family has been, (due to past incidences.)
My wife struggles with a lot of depression, but refuses to try counseling and take medication for it. She says that moving closer to family will fix the problem, but her and her family has not always gotten along when she was younger in the past.
Another big reason I would like to stay is that I have had, and still have a lot of health issues, so I would be leaving all of my trusted doctors I have currently. And the insurance I’m currently under with my parents would be not good anywhere other than here because my dad works for the state. We have been blessed to have the support from my parents with all of my health issues and medication bills because that would be very costly if we had to pay and if we didn’t have their issuance, we cannot afford much right now.
Also both of us do not really like the incredibly hot dry weather of AZ, which is really hard for me, because I like having all 4 seasons and being able to go outside.
I also don’t think she knows how much harder is will be to move all of our stuff a state away rather than just a city away.
One good thing about moving down there would be that rent and housing is a bit less expensive than it is up here. Another would be possibly a fresher new start on life.
We have no jobs or housing lined up yet.
I have tried to compromise by suggesting that we let me finish my schooling here (I only have around a year and a half left.) and then moving down to Arizona. That way we can also plan better for the move and everything. But she is totally against is, and says she cannot wait, and is implying that she is giving her current job her two weeks’ notice tomorrow, and moving down ASAP. She will not compromise at all.
I really feel like we should stay here for the time being.
I have caused a lot of struggles and heartache before and within our marriage, and it has been very hard for her during it all. I am undoubtedly sorry for everything, and most certainly blessed to have her by my side still, and I will be forever grateful.
I love my wife so very much, she means everything to me.
But, it really hurts me that she would make such a quick rash decision like this.
If anyone can please help me with this problem, thank you!
My wife and I have been married for a year and a half, but we dated for about 5 – 6 years before we married each other. We have had many great struggles within our dating and married life together, but seem to always overcome them together.
We need to move by March of this year, so we have been looking for a new home for the past few months. At first we were looking for places to rent around were we currently live (UT), but 3 days ago my wife decided that she was going to move to Arizona were her mom and family live. I also am not a really big fan of change, especially fast sudden changes like this one.
My wife has lived back and forth in between Utah and Arizona for all her life, so she also has extended family that lives around us in UT as well. I have lived in UT all of my life, the majority of my family lives here, and I absolutely love where a live. This is not to say that I would not be opposed to moving out of state latter on in life when we are move financially stable and further along in our marriage.
The new of her was a very big shock to me, and I really do not want to move down to AZ at this point in time. We have made pros and cons list multiple times and they are exactly the opposite of each other, so we cannot agree. She has since said given me an ultimatum that either we can either move together to AZ or that she is going to go leave to AZ on her own, and wanting a divorce.
My wife as just graduated with her bachelors, so she says she is not “tied down” here anymore, so she is ready to leave. But I am still currently going to school here. I could transfer schools down to AZ, but I really like my campus I am going to currently, and there would be a greatly likely hood of me losing a $10,000 scholarship. I also really like my job that I currently work at, and I am very likely to now receive a promotion that I have been waiting forever for soon, which I would be very sad to leave.
My family where we live now is very helpful, and always willing to help us in every which and way, but I would hesitate to say that her family in AZ would be as helpful and supportive as my family has been, (due to past incidences.)
My wife struggles with a lot of depression, but refuses to try counseling and take medication for it. She says that moving closer to family will fix the problem, but her and her family has not always gotten along when she was younger in the past.
Another big reason I would like to stay is that I have had, and still have a lot of health issues, so I would be leaving all of my trusted doctors I have currently. And the insurance I’m currently under with my parents would be not good anywhere other than here because my dad works for the state. We have been blessed to have the support from my parents with all of my health issues and medication bills because that would be very costly if we had to pay and if we didn’t have their issuance, we cannot afford much right now.
Also both of us do not really like the incredibly hot dry weather of AZ, which is really hard for me, because I like having all 4 seasons and being able to go outside.
I also don’t think she knows how much harder is will be to move all of our stuff a state away rather than just a city away.
One good thing about moving down there would be that rent and housing is a bit less expensive than it is up here. Another would be possibly a fresher new start on life.
We have no jobs or housing lined up yet.
I have tried to compromise by suggesting that we let me finish my schooling here (I only have around a year and a half left.) and then moving down to Arizona. That way we can also plan better for the move and everything. But she is totally against is, and says she cannot wait, and is implying that she is giving her current job her two weeks’ notice tomorrow, and moving down ASAP. She will not compromise at all.
I really feel like we should stay here for the time being.
I have caused a lot of struggles and heartache before and within our marriage, and it has been very hard for her during it all. I am undoubtedly sorry for everything, and most certainly blessed to have her by my side still, and I will be forever grateful.
I love my wife so very much, she means everything to me.
But, it really hurts me that she would make such a quick rash decision like this.
If anyone can please help me with this problem, thank you!