Struggling, Help?

[Kerrie147]

Hi,
I'm new here, So if I have done anything wrong with were I post this I apologise.

Basically, I am a new Christian, 13.03.11
All was well at first, I felt my relationship with God was really coming on,
I started writing a journal and prayed daily,
Spoke to God all day, I couldn't take my mind off him.

But over that last week I have been struggling tremendously, Ive ways struggled with being independent, now I am trying to cut this bad habit away, But I still have massive trouble opening up to people and I find writing a much better way of opening up.

So I may go on a bit, (apologies, but I'm at my wits end).

I had a lot of demonic activity (so I've been told) before I even became a Christian, Its something I've lived with for many years and become part of my daily life,
But when I first agreed to go to church, this all changed, becoming a bit worrying at times,
After attending church 3 Sundays, a prophetic speaker came into the church and I was prayed for, for the first time, Awesome!!
It was that day I gave my life.
It was all pink and fluffy, then I had a little struggle, but go through it,
and all seemed well since,
recently, I'm struggling, my whole mind set on speaking to God, writing to him, reading the bible, everything.

I had a fall (cutting my knee quite badly) and since then, everything has been awful
I've been having images of family members being hurt, everything I do, it is there.
I've even had thought of ending things,
Noone around me is understanding what I am going through, Not even the one person I thought would, my partner.
I have felt so alone,
I spend all last night with God, and have woke up this morning, with no change.

Can anyone help?
Anyone gone through the same and can share there story?
If you would like to speak more, message me.

I will try ANYTHING to get back where I was with God and with my life.

Thank you for reading.

Kerrie

 

[Tim Myers]

"Not even the one person I thought would, my partner."

Are you talking about your partner in your business??

 

[Kerrie147]

No, not in business,
My 'boyfriend'

 

[Tim Myers]

Does this help at all??.........

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31

 

[Kerrie147]

Thank you,
It does, in a way,
But then not on the same level as what I am experiencing.

 

[Tim Myers]

All I can say is.....if you ask God for help with a sincere heart and are willing to wait just a little while.....I promise, you will see your answer.........

 

[Kerrie147]

I will keep asking,
I am just struggling with these images and pushing away the people who care and want to help.
I am going to spend the day trying everything,
I know he will help and I know he is there.

Thank you

 

[Tim Myers]

Is there a nice park near where you live??
I always find that walking outside in the fresh air and sunshine, with trees around, talking to God, helps me a lot.....

 

[Kerrie147]

Yes, Lots of parks, I tend to walk alot when I feel like this.
So I will give that a try.
Thank you

 

[Kerrie147]

been given psa 37,
interesting.

 

[heymikey80]

Often God pushes us to change. We think we've got something right, and He throws us a curve to fix it.

 

[paul1149]

Hi Kerrie,

I'm sorry you're going through this. Some opposition is to be expected, but some people have it harder than others at times. You could do a search for 'verses god's protection' and see what you come up with. Psalm 91 comes to mind. The Gospels show that Jesus had power over sickness, death and all of nature. And both they and the epistles are full of God's promises, to never leave nor forsake, and to hold us protectively in the palms of His hands.

Of particular interest may be Eph 6, where Paul instructs us to put on the whole armor of God. God has given us all the tools we need to protect us from the evil one. As we stand in faith, the enemy cannot reach us, and we overcome him. In Mt 28, Jesus explains that He has all authority in heaven and on earth, and He then delegates that authority to us. By our prayers for ourselves and others we take part in the outworking of God's will on earth. And the more we exercise that authority, the less place we find for fear to grip us.

It may be very helpful to find someone to pray with, either in RL or online. That is what the Body of Christ is for, to bear one another's burdens. We all have times when we can't seem to find the way forward by ourselves. And it may help to know that Jesus himself is interceding for you.

I will be praying for you, that you will know the power you have been given, to overcome all opposition, and that you endure and persist until you have the victory.

 

[HazelWings]

I will keep asking,
I am just struggling with these images and pushing away the people who care and want to help.
I am going to spend the day trying everything,
I know he will help and I know he is there.

Thank you

I am sorry for the trials you are going through. My words of comfort are 3 part.

First, that God never said it would be easy. Life is HARD. Going through the tough times makes us appreciate those pink puffy cloud times more. When life gets harder, keep praying and reading your bible to help you through it. He is listening!

Second, although I haven't experienced demonic activity, I have had many experiences with spirits and I'm wondering if there is someone at your church you could talk to about this? I have a Christian friend who burned sage and it worked for her, but I don't know what the appropriate method would be in your case.

And lastly, as someone who has dealt with depression my entire life, if you are really, REALLY having a hard time with life (you mentioned pushing away the people who want to help you), I strongly urge you to talk to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it, and it actually shows strength to know when you are weak and need help.

Feel free to PM if you need a listening ear

 

[JustUsInChristSettlesAll]

sorry for the long post...

Hi Kerrie, hope things are getting better for you. Ive never posted on here before and I was going to PM u but apparently u have to have 15 posts to pm or something....so now everybody gets to listen to what i have to say i guess...!

Umm...so i have been dealing with a situation similar to yours. I was saved as a kid, became a teenager and turned into, well, lets just say i was no disciple and leave it at that. so, about a month ago i gave my life back to the Lord and started going to church, praying, reading my bible, and I was like "man, it feels good to be back in the good graces of the Lord."

well, as soon as i let my guard down, i started getting these horrible feelings and visions of evil creatures and what have you. it felt like demons were following me around. going in and out of my body even for lack of better description. like shame. maybe God was saying, repent or this is what it will feel like in hell? there was one time, i dont know, i cant even describe it, it was like...i felt like a skeleton or something....really evil stuff at work. it made me want to puke. i dont know, you guys are probably going to think im weird but this is the truth as best as i can describe it.

one time it was raining before my wife went to work i could see her having a crash and well vivid scary stuff. kinda like you said about seeing bad things happen to your family. i got scared and pleaded for her not to go, but she went and you know what, came home just fine.

anyways, what im getting at is this. satan wants you bad. he wanted me bad too. and after he finds out you are serious about sticking with God and embrace what Jesus did for you on the cross him and his evil minions will stop at nothing to torture you while they still have you in this world. John 12:31 calls satan the ruler of this world. but his time is getting shorter each day and he knows it. its evil like him that says if im going down im bringin you with me. Praise God for giving His only Son so that we may have life, Amen?

James 4:7 says resist the devil and he will flee from you. sometimes its easier read than done, i know it was in my case because he has alot of nasty tricks, mainly for me putting thoughts in my mind or images or whatever that i dont even want to think. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to take your thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Once again, easier read than done. Ask for His help with these things. Every thought or image that satan puts in there are just his tricks and when we realize that, we can defeat him. if you get scared just say "I rebuke you satan! in the name of Jesus Christ!" and say it with authority. that has helped me some. and every time we overcome his tactics its a victory for us and Christ! think of yourself as a battle tested soldier! who knows, maybe the Lord is strengthening us for something awesome!

I dont know Kerrie, i constantly have found myself battling these things and myself even. Like i said, he wants us bad and if he cant have us hes gonna torture us while we are still in his world. im trying my best to "get control" of my mind and make it a sanctuary for the Lord so i can make my thoughts obedient to Christ and its been working, it just takes some time. hang in there and keep relying on the Lord and it will get better, i promise. He wont foresake you or leave you. Dont let the devil get you down and stay faithful to God. remember, paul said in romans 7:15....well, read the whole quote from the bible about how sin is inside of us and contrary to us. helped me out because i thought it was my fault i was thinking these things. ive already taken up enough space here. in case you cant tell, i can ramble on too. sorry. i am like you in that i dont really have many people to talk to outside of the computer web about this stuff....

wow, i didnt realize how long this was until i said that and looked over it. sorry. umm....i dont know, put on the full armor of God. read the bible. pray. shout out to God for help. listen to christian music. do whatever it takes. defeat the evil with love! it gets better! read the books of ephesians, romans, and corinthians. they really helped me out. psalms are awesome too cause david had to go through some stuff. dont let it get you down and remember, its just satans tricks. we can defeat it. Christ can defeat it! John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Also remember that God disciplines those he loves-Hebrews 12:6. I would rather be handed over to satan to be tormented and truly repent of my sins in this world than miss out on God's love for eternity! God bless you Kerrie and im prayin and pulling for you!

 

[joycem]

I heard that if you speak the word of God that Satan doesn't like that, so maybe find some verses that make resonate with you and speak them outloud.

 

[LaShae]

I know that this is a late reply, hope that things are getting easier for you. Praying and patience is a definate must in what you are going through. It is however normal to feel what you are feeling. Rebuke these feelings in the name of Jesus. Ask the Lord to show you a way to be stronger in your faith. I will say a prayer that things become easier for you in your faith and that God gives you the strength and wisdom you need to battle these feelings and confusion. These feelings and thoughts are the enemy trying to take over your mind. Don't allow them to steal your Glory with God away.

Dear Heavenly Father- I pray that you open the eyes and heart of this beautiful soul Lord, give her strength God to stay on the right path Lord and trust in you Lord that you will deliver her from all evil. Give her the strength and wisdom Lord to make these empty feelings she is having go away Lord. Help her to restore the Glory that you have placed in her heart. In jesus name I pray.
you are welcome to message me anytime you need incouraging or just a friend. God Bless

 

[taylorwashburn]

Kerrie, I have gone through ups and downs spiritually as well, I think the down times are important so we can see what were missing out on. Its Gods way of testing our boundaries. When we are pushed past what we think is our limit it helps us grow and understand life itself more. I know there are times where I get so caught up in everyday stuff that I go days without talking to God directly. Its after those days I really struggle to speak to him. Its like this huge wall is built up between him and I and the words want to come out of my mouth but there is stress in my mind over saying "hey, im sorry i havent been living up to my potential". Going through those kind of days have made me understand that once I actually do put myself out there and start talking about all the things Im struggling with, I realize that God, our Father, loves us unconditionally and is always going to be there to support us and lead us go on the right path so we can share OUR light with the world!! That being said, keep your head up, do the right things and follow your heart. We need to enjoy every moment before life passes us by. One day we will get to heaven and have to explain to our father why we did all we did, or didnt do.

 

[whatfor]

I had a lot of demonic activity (so I've been told) before I even became a Christian, Its something I've lived with for many years and become part of my daily life,

Was this dealt with?