I am an overcomer of depression and homosexuality, because of God's love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, through the Blood of Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit. That doesn't mean that I am no longer tempted. But I know what it is like to deal with homosexuality. What I'm going to say, following this, will be helplful only if you believe that what the Bible says about EVERY subject (not just homosexuality) is true and is God's Truth.
You've accomplished the most important thing, in recovery: THE FIRST STEP. CONGRATULATIONS! GLORY TO GOD!
Do not try to fight this battle alone! If you feel you can trust him, confide in your pastor. If you have any clothing, jewelry, homosexual porn, or anything else of this nature, get rid of it. If there is a "Celebrate Recovery" group near you, seek it out and get involved. You will be warmly received and loved! No one will treat you like an outcast.
Be very careful whom you inform of your challenges with homosexuality. I know married men who, wracked with guilt and shame, told their wives about their struggles. The wives knew something was "wrong" but because of their husbands' fears of the results of telling them, didn't know what was going on. With some of the husbands, their worst fears were realized. Their wives could not handle it, and got a divorce. Disclosing our challenges to others is not always a good thing. We may feel better because "a great weight is off our shoulders" but the person on whom we've unloaded our problems may begin feeling the added weight, almost immediately. Ask God to bring to you, Christian brothers who He knows are strong enough to bear this burden with you. They will be your "accountability partners" - someone you can call, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, when you're feeling down and close to giving in. You need to give them permission to call you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for them to ask you if you're doing well, if you're praying, reading your Bible, regularly going to church, or if you've "fallen" and need to confess. If you do fall, GET BACK UP AND GET BACK AT IT. IF YOU FALL 7 TIMES, GET BACK UP EACH AND EVERY TIME, EVEN IF ALL 7 FALLS OCCURRED IN THE SAME DAY. That will involve confession and repentance. But do it as soon as possible! The more you get back up and get back at it, after you fall, the less you will end up falling. GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT YOU! God KNOWS we live in a fallen world! God KNOWS you will experience temptations! Remember that when you're tempted, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE TO SUBMIT TO GOD AND RESIST THE ENEMY AND THE TEMPTATION HE IS THROWING AT YOU!
You have a lot of anger towards your father. I'm not excusing what he did, but you need to let go of it. We are to forgive others first of all because as Christians, God commands us to forgive (even our enemies), and second because of what WE get as benefits. The worthiness or unworthiness of the offender is not to be considered in whether we forgive. Forgiving your father does not mean he will not have to give account for his actions, before God. Make no mistake! The very best outcome of this situation is that your father becomes the man that God wants him to become, and asks Jesus Christ into his heart!
I held onto the anger I had for my father, for many years, and I am the one who suffered. Holding on to your anger and refusing to forgive is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. I let go of my anger, and got counseling. I forgave my father. Our relationship did not improve. He was the same towards me as he always had been. But I felt better and was a new man because I changed the things I could change, and accepted the things I couldn't.
PM me if you'd like. YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU! Philippians 4:13
Thank you for the reply Louise. You put everything in perspective. Its so true when you say one has to choose who to listen to. Its that simple. I do look forward to what else you have to say..Thanks for reminding me about how God works in every situation that we encounter.
