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Staying away from homosexuality

Discussion in 'Struggles with Sexuality' started by JonHansen, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. JonHansen

    JonHansen New Member


    As long as I can remember, I have been attracted to other men. I have never told anyone, but I have prayed about it thousands of times, and I believe that the Lord has helped me not to act upon it. However, I recently met a boy whom I just feel different about. He has flirted a bit with me, and although I have tried treating him as a normal friend, I just can't help having these feelings about him.

    I am really scared I will act upon them because the feelings are so strong, and sometimes seem more important to me than the word of God.

    I am currently 16 years old and I am already struggling. How can I stick to the word of God for the rest of my life?
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2018
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  2. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Other Religion
    Legal Union (Other)

    Are you a member of the state church in Norway? From what I heard, the state church in Norway doesn't generally have a problem with gay people, [staff edit].
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  3. Hazelelponi

    Hazelelponi Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Hey sweetie. If you don't mind read all my post.

    First. As a Christian you going to sin. We have all sinned and fallen short, even after we were saved.

    What is important to remember is that the God we worship is one who forgives us when we repent and ask forgiveness. And God will forgive us as much as it takes to get something right. So when there is something you struggle with, just rest in the promises of Jesus, and remember He set us free from the bondage of sin so keep the faith. Through Christ you can overcome.

    Personally, I see homosexuality the same as any addiction. I smoked cigarettes before I was saved, and I was able to quit completely although I had some struggles.

    Homosexuality is just your struggle. God allows struggles because it's our refining, by the time we overcome our sins in the Lord, we have developed a greater understanding of Him, and a greater closeness and love for Him.

    There are testimonies of former homosexuals, some of these testimonies may be too old for you since your just 16. But many people have been able to overcome through Christ - who truly does set us free from the bondage of sin.

    Do People Change from Homosexuality? Hundreds of Stories of Hope and Transformation (Part I)
    ^^ LINK

    I'll see what I can't find in book form too.


    Found a book called Desires in Conflict: Hope For Men Who Struggle With Sexual Identity by Joe Dallas

    Amazon carries it so it'll be easy for you to get.
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
  4. Note

    Note Borg Drone

    United States

    Will you speak to a faith based counselor in your area, or your pastor?
  5. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    Remember, you can choose your relationships. I'm older than you, still single. I've chosen not to have relationships with certain women, and other women have chosen to not have relationships with me. I have also found that if I choose early to not feed feelings for a person, that can keep the level of feelings for that person small.
  6. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

    United Kingdom
    [Staff edit].

    To be honest, your experience and trials are not so different from those faced by normal heterosexual people. If it were a girl you were lusting after (and make no mistake, this is sinful lust) then we would tell you to hold yourself pure and away from temptation. So this is what you must also do. I would suggest not remaining friends with this person, for he will only lead you into temptation. Stay strong and pray.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
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  7. Avniel

    Avniel Doing my part each day by being the best me

    Christian therapy and counseling to deal with your issues
  8. JonHansen

    JonHansen New Member

    I could probably speak to a priest or someoner other in another church, but as I said, mine is very liberal, and my pastor would probably encourage me to be homosexual.

    [Staff edit].

    And also, thank you very much to all of you others too! I appreciate every bit of advice, but just decided to make this post a little shorter. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  9. Samaritan Woman

    Samaritan Woman Active Member

    United States
    I am really glad that you reached out to fellow believers for help. Your same-sex attraction can be overcome but only with the right resources and support; the Holy Spirit will transform you from the inside so you no longer have to deal with homosexual temptations. I am providing links below that can provide the help you need.

    [Staff edit]

    Telephone Coaching – Healing For The Soul
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  10. Blade

    Blade Veteran Supporter

    United States
    True story..young man was going to end his life..yet told someone he would meet this preacher. So that night the friend said.. you were going to meet this preacher.. so the young gay man said sure. So he gets invited in. They ask if they can pray for him..sure he says. So about 20min later (you think prayer takes what a few min's) the young man was thinking.. haha wont they be shocked reading about me tomorrow in the paper..dead.

    It was never a easy road for him...very very hard. So after this 20 min.. he said.. something started to change. Something inside of him wanted out... anyway after that prayer the preacher asked him to keep saying some verse. And asked two other young people to help him. See this young man also got married at one time. Told her up front he loved men. Even when he left her she said "I will be here waiting for you". FOR ME thats....wow love.. of Christ.

    So after 3 months the other two would bang on his door and make sure he is saying that verse from the bible. Lol.... he would just yell back YES I am. Then the next morning.. something changed. He said.. every cell in his body was crying out for his wife. He had no desire for a man.. none.. it was gone. So the preacher said.. GET HIM to his wife now! HAHA.. He is still married and has allot of kids.

    A woman.. gay.. would cry out to the lord day and night.. just weeping so much. Could not handle it anymore.. she said.. one morning it was gone.. she has never had a desire a thought what so ever for another woman. Same thing with another young man which got kicked out and his friend let him stay with. One day sitting at the table his friend said.. what about Jesus? The young gay man said.. been there dont that. The friend said NO...when need someone to cry with I will be there. When you need someone get mad at I will be there. When you need someone to laugh with I will be there. That young man now has TONS of kids...

    So I just prayed for.. interceded for you....stood in the gap for you and whom the son sets free is free indeed. Satan HAS to flee and all those thoughts and desires also. There is 2 thim 2:26. James 4:7, Eph 6:12-16, 2 cot 2:11, 1 Cor 6:12, 1 joh 3:8, Eze 22:30, Heb 4:16 and SO many more.. not here to boast..my Father hears me. I pray HIS will HIS word and that WORD will do what HE said..

    So.. this fear worry doubt.. does not come from your YOUR Father which is NOT against you. Those desires will cease .. thoughts will cease..you have HIS word on it. So rejoice.. He HAS set you free.. in JESUS name
  11. StephenDiscipleofYHWH

    StephenDiscipleofYHWH Well-Known Member

    United States
    1. Repent for each of your ungodly thoughts and Lusts( Acts 3:19; 2 Peter 3:9; 1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13; Matt 15:18-19; Mark 7:21-23 )

    2. Commit your self to prayer [staff edit], seeking the light of God(1 Timothy 5:17; Romans 12:12; Romans 8:26-28; Joel 2:12-13; Matt 6:16-18; Acts 14:23 )

    3. Make a covenant with your eyes and in your heart not to look upon men to lust after them(Job 31:1-12; Matt 5:28; Jeremiah 17:9-10; Luke 6:45; Psalms 51:7-13 )

    4. Through doing these things renew your mind unto God's way(Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 4:23-24; 2 Corinthians 10:3-6; Proverbs 16:3 )

    5. Renew and prove yourself through daily study of God's word(2 Timothy 2:15; Acts 17:11)

    6. While away from home sing hymns to the Lord leaving no room for unclean thoughts to enter your mind(Ephesians 5:19-20)

    7. Come out from among those who are unbelievers and have no fellowship with those who deny the truth(1 Cor 5:9-13; Ephesians 5:8-12; 2 Cor 6:14-17; Matt 7:6; 1 John 2:21-23; Revelation 18:4)

    8. Do these things and the devil will have no place near you to stand upon(Ephesians 4:27;James 4:7)

    9. Do these things and continue in them and the Lord will provide an escape from your temptations(1 Cor 10:13)

    I hope this helps brother.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  12. Lily of Valleys

    Lily of Valleys Well-Known Member

    Praise God that you have the heart to follow God's word and to live a God-pleasing life. 2 Timothy 2:22 would be a good answer to your question:

    Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22 NASB)

    Apostle Paul didn't advise Timothy to fight against youthful lusts, but to flee from them. That's exactly what Joseph did when his master's wife tried to seduce him. He left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside. (Genesis 39:12)

    So there are three steps in 2 Timothy 2:22:

    (1) Avoid any situation that would lead us into temptation, to flee from them.
    (2) Focus on the things that God wants us to do - to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.
    (3) Do these things together with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart - who we are with is important.

    We are to live in the world but not belong to the world. In this life, we will face temptations, the only way to overcome them is to walk by the Holy Spirit.

    But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

    If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16-25 NASB)​

    Even though you still have many years to go at the age of 16, as you practice godliness more and more as you grow in Christ, your experience will grow too. Like you said, God has helped you not to act upon the lusts. He will always be there to help you as you need Him. All you need to do is to submit to Him and to depend on Him.

    Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7 NASB)​
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  13. step_by_step

    step_by_step Active Member Supporter

    United States
    It's good that you are trying to seek God in this and not give in. I understand how powerful temptations can be. It's almost too much and you wonder why you shouldn't just give in since it's what you want so badly. First remember that your body and your life are not yours. They were given to you by God and therefore you must use your body for him and your life for him. Engaging in any kind of romantic or sexual acts with another boy wouldn't be using your body to glorify God. I know that in the heat of the moment, it's hard to remember that. So try to remember that now. Second, don't engage with this boy. I know it's hard, but you have to stay away from him. There's no reason you should make this any harder for yourself and that's all he's doing. Don't treat him like a normal friend, just avoid him. Otherwise it's very likely that you will give in because you're human. Third, pray pray pray pray pray! Seek God every moment of the day. Whenever an unclean thought arises, pray. Give it to God. It takes time and it takes work but it will help. When you are living in his presence, the temptation with subside.
    And finally, remember that you will sin sometimes. If you do give in, you can always be forgiven. I'm not saying that's an excuse to give in to your flesh, but if it happens, you aren't too far gone to be forgiven by Christ.
    I will be praying for you!
  14. Deborah D

    Deborah D Prayer Warrior Supporter

    United States
    [Staff edit].

    Edit: As Christians, we never have to act on feelings that don't line up with God's code of conduct revealed in the Bible.... We ALL have struggles, some of them very hard, but God always provides a way to overcome if we choose to go His way. I pray that God will give you the grace to live your life in a way that's pleasing to Him. This is the only way you'll find true fulfillment.
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
  15. Tomm

    Tomm Christian Supporter

    It's not impossible, in fact, same sex attraction can be cured. I also used to have moderate same sex attraction, but after praying the Rosary prayer for some time, I was cured some years ago.
    [Staff edit].
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  16. corinth77777

    corinth77777 learner

    Don't be His friend for now..Don't go in the way of temptation.
    I cried out to the Lord almost everyday with my whole heart and after many Months He answered. GOD can deliver you..but do your part and deny yourself and take up your cross. DO YOUR PART. REPENT...CONFESS YOUR SINS TO HIM.....AND DONT EVER STOP CALLING ON him.
  17. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    [Staff edit].

    First off, you have to change your environment. Who are the company that you are keeping? What thoughts and actions are you entertaining? What type of activities are you engaging in.Are you surrounding yourself and being close with good examples of godly men to follow? If you know you are dwelling in things you shouldn’t be dwelling in, change it. Someone who would draw you away from God, like that guy flirting, is not your friend.

    Secondly, you have to change your mindset, and ask yourself this question, “Is this what should be my identity? What is my identity in Christ?”. [Staff edit]. You were born a man, and with that comes a responsibility with your mind and vessel that God has given to you. Everyone as a man or woman have their own dealing with the flesh and the dealing may defer from person to person, but you dealing with your flesh is not unique. If you are a breathing human being you will have to deal with your flesh.As Christians we are to be born again, kill flesh, and take on the identity in Christ. Read the Word, learn what that means for you.

    Lastly, you have to change your expectations. Achievement is not heterosexuality, nor embracing homosexuality. Acheivement is waking in Gods will however it ends up looking like, and every believer have that responsibility to do that everyday. The only expectations in this life is the promises that God has given to you. That’s why everyday, we have to crucify our flesh, because our flesh wants to make up every other achievement, goal, and prize, everything but the one we should be focusing on, which is to be with God in the end. And walk with faith and confidence that as long as God is with you, you can overcome not only this, but anything.

    Many have before you, many will after you. This is nothing God can’t handle and God would not give you more than you can bear. But you alone have to make that decision, God can’t decide for you. God bless.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2018
  18. carp614

    carp614 Active Member

    How to avoid this...
    Here is how I am trying to deal with a sinful attraction I have to a woman who is not my wife. Maybe this will help you:

    • When in social situations where she is present, I am polite, but I do not seek conversation with her. I desperately want to talk to her, but I only talk to her under specific circumstances.
    • When I speak to her, I only do so when there are several others in the conversation. If it looks like they are going to leave me alone with her, I end the conversation and leave.
    • We have texted about a volunteer organization we are both part of. But I do not save her number and I do not save her texts, so I have no way to contact her even if I felt tempted to.
    • We are friends on social media, but I do not follow her feeds.

    These sins are so insidiously difficult to deal with. I admire your faithful fight against them. You are showing wisdom beyond your years reaching out to other believers for help. May God Bless your efforts.
  19. grandvizier1006

    grandvizier1006 Still a human by God's grace Supporter

    United States
    The only advice I can give is to keep living your life in a manner that glorifies God. People will tell you you are better off giving in to your attractions, but that isn't true. These feelings may not go away, but if you commit yourself to the Lord it won't feel like a burden if you have other people in a godly church community to help you. It won't be easy, but life is never that way for a believer in some way or another. If you ever decide to tell anyone about your feelings, also emphasize your faith and hopefully they will respect that.
  20. JonHansen

    JonHansen New Member

    I simply want to thank every one of you for wanting to help me with this.

    I will continue working on it and do my best keeping the words of God.

    God bless you all!