<staff edit> the Pusher Man!

[jellybean99]

A few years ago I finally ran myself into the ground and found myself in a psychiatrist's office. He prescribed enough meds to medicate 6 people (no exaggeration--effexor 450mg/day, clonazepam 3mg/day to keep me from leaping out of my bed while sleeping).

Over time I became a fat zombie. I slept 14-16 hours a day and gained 50 lbs. in 3 months. My legs were swollen up like balloons (pitted edema). I was admitted to Emergency with chest pains and am scheduled to see a cardiologist. My G.P. tells me that I have a heart condition. I did NOT have one before.

When that happened, I snapped I began an exercise/diet regimen, got off the effexor with 5-HTP, and was taking water pills with no effect (3 weeks). I got off the clonazepam and my legs shrivelled up like prunes. Since then, I've been forced to taper off the clonazepam to 1 mg/day (these still give me chest pains). I've lost 25 lbs. in less than 2 months.


Decorum doesn't permit me to say what I feel like doing to my doctor for what he did to me. I'm not fit to be around people today. Pray that I don't snap-crackle-pop some jerk's neck like a twig.

Yesterday I was Mr. Giggles. Today I'm Mr. Grumpy. Even so, better to be a bipolar loon than dead or dying.

<staff edit> THE PUSHER MAN!!!
​

 

[Soulwings]

Hmmm. I can appreciate your frustrations and anger, but I don't think that your language is the best. In any case, the pdoc you saw was perhaps incompetant, perhaps didn't know your situation well enough, perhaps was overconfident and thought that pills solve everything. You also may have not known of the heart condition before - often heart conditions are there and aren't detected at first, even if looked for.

I don't want to be too harsh, though, but I have to say, your post rubbed me a bit the wrong way. Maybe I'm being a bit too short today, but your language really does bother me. Sorry - I do not mean to offend. Just letting you know.

And, just in case you don't realize/remember this... meds keep people alive. I wouldn't be here if I weren't on my meds. You had a bad experience, but that doesn't mean that all meds are bad. Just thought I'd put a reminder out there, and also a note for anyone who may tend to be frightened away from seeking help by your post.

 

[Soulwings]

Piffle.

Herbal remedies can be just as toxic as prescription meds. And can also do nothing. I've been on herbal remedies and they've done diddly-squat. Are you taking herbal remedies? are they helping you at all? What about managing your anger and mood swings? Just wondering...

...and by the way, no, it does NOT describe doctors etc. Not all of them, anyway. Most of them are out to help other people, not kill them. If you truly think that they are spawn of hell and feel as though you cannot control your anger, then I seriously recommend you up your dose of herbs, because they really don't seem to be helping you at all.



Heh.

 

[jellybean99]

Right now I have more pressing concerns than my mood. My apartment was fumigated and I have been detoxing. I have pains in my chest again. My moods have destabilized as a result.

I am normally adept at stabilizing my moods. Frankly, I get more work done when I'm manic and lift myself out of depression with chamomile tea (don't ask me why it works, my body chemistry has always been off). The manic phase also decreases as a result.

What works for one person does not work for all, which is why one must experiment with different herbal remedies on their own.

Herbal remedies are better because they are types of foods (organic, alive) as opposed to synthesized chemicals (inorganic, dead). Care must be taken and naturpaths can be helpful, but ultimately, YOU must take charge of your care and what goes into your body.

 

[Soulwings]

How many doctors have you known? both personally and professionally? don't you realize that they are people too?

I don't think that it's really fair to generalize and say that all of them are murderers. Heck yeah, there are those who believe in euthanasia, like Jack Kevorkian, but that certainly doesn't portray all doctors. So be careful with your generalizations, please.

EDIT: Asclepius was the father of medicine, and he, too, had a staff, with one - not two - serpents entwining it. It is used as a symbol of medicine as well. So you see, you cannot go by just a symbol to say whether or not something is "evil" ... if you did that, then I am sure you could find many things in this world that are "evil" that are really harmless.

 

[jellybean99]

I came here to vent, not to engage in a debate about modern medicine or pharmaceuticals.

I regret, Soulwings, that my words have grieved you. Before my posts, your caption read "tired of fighting." Now they read, "toxic girl, sick and tired."

I saw your picture. You have the look in your eyes of someone that is tired of riding the roller coaster and just wants to get off. If meds help you or anyone else do that, good for you.

My family has a history of both paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar 1 and saw the hell my relatives went through and the horrible lives they lived. Hell is what awaited me until Jesus Christ walked into my life.

He told me that I had built so many walls around myself that not even He could come in. Then Jesus was gone and the walls fell. When I flip out, I hold on to that moment and remember the person I would be without Jesus.

I thought this was a safe place to vent--a place where I wouldn't be misunderstood--a place where I wouldn't cause pain. I can see now that when I'm in that frame of mind, there is no safe place I can go--except the forest or some other empty place where I can vent to Christ in my prayers.

I won't make that mistake again.

 

[Jeshu]

Jellybean, I think I know how you feel - I almost died as well from medications and gained 50 kilos - and decided that medications will only help so much and we shouldn't put hope or trust in them. But damning people is not a nice thing to do and I can't let you get away with that. Please repent and seek loving grace to rule not damnation!

I say God damn Satan who makes us so sick in the first place and causes us to damn people - even ourselves. (as the judgement you use will be used against you in The End. (Matthew 7:1-6 and 15-23))

Moderation is my theme - pills are not from the devil - lies and misery are. It seems to me, that like me, you got bitten bad.

Yet look at Jesus - He loves - I challenge you to pray for your (human) wrongdoers - rather than condemn them to hell - Jesus did!

Have you tried Truehope - their philosophy will suit you fine!

Peace. (Revelation 1:4b-8)

Gerry

 

[aj777]

I say God damn Satan who makes us so sick in the first place and causes us to damn people - even ourselves. (as the judgement you use will be used against you in The End. (Matthew 7:1-6 and 15-23))

Gerry

You know, I had been looking for that particular verse for a while and I see now that I had it highlighted in my bible but I didn't ever write it down. Thanks for the verse.

And Jellybean, do what Jeshu says. Me personally, I'm on medications for 'bipolar people' although I'm not bipolar. My doc labels it that but it's far from the truth. Satan can work hard through people to try to make you miserable. Don't let that evil thing do that to you. I'm on clonazepam too and my mom says that I'm like a dr. jekyl / mr. hyde with this medication. If you can ask your doctor to change it, try lorazepam. That worked really good for me and it's in the same category as klonopin.

I'll pray for you. Good luck! And Gerry (Jeshu), I appreciate your post to jellybean. I know he really needed it.

 

[jellybean99]

As I said before, I was venting. How I feel at a particular time does not indicate my actions or even my final thoughts on a given matter. I am not a Christian robot; I am a human being.

In the past I have trashed people, relationships--even churches when they have roused my anger by kicking me when I was down and betraying me.

Now, as a Christian, just as Jesus picked up his markers, I have picked up mine and forgiven my trespassers. If this were not so, you can believe that not even Big Pharma would escape my wrath. No one on this earth is safe when I have tombstones in my eyes, which is why I have pledged to keep away from people when I feel this way.

But make no mistake; I believe everything I said about Big Pharma, their lobbyists and their doctors that prescribe these drugs w/o being up-front about their destructive and often highly addictive nature.

The drug commercials always say, "Ask your doctor about..."
They don't say...
"Ask your doctor how many murder-suicides are linked to SSRI & SSNRI anti-depressants." http://theeffexoractivist.org/
http://www.baumhedlundlaw.com/media/ssri/Paxil_murder.htm
http://www.ssristories.com/index.php

"Ask your doctor about the side effects from prescription medications which are responsible for over 100,000 deaths in the U.S. every year."
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-03-19-tracking-drugs_N.htm

"Ask your doctor why (s)he just doesn't treat you, the patient, rather than your symptoms."

Just leave me be. I asked for prayer, not advice.

 

[Jeshu]

As I said before, I was venting. How I feel at a particular time does not indicate my actions or even my final thoughts on a given matter. I am not a Christian robot; I am a human being.

In the past I have trashed people, relationships--even churches when they have roused my anger by kicking me when I was down and betraying me.

Now, as a Christian, just as Jesus picked up his markers, I have picked up mine and forgiven my trespassers. If this were not so, you can believe that not even Big Pharma would escape my wrath. No one on this earth is safe when I have tombstones in my eyes, which is why I have pledged to keep away from people when I feel this way.

But make no mistake; I believe everything I said about Big Pharma, their lobbyists and their doctors that prescribe these drugs w/o being up-front about their destructive and often highly addictive nature.

The drug commercials always say, "Ask your doctor about..."
They don't say...
"Ask your doctor how many murder-suicides are linked to SSRI & SSNRI anti-depressants." http://theeffexoractivist.org/

"Ask your doctor about the side effects from prescription medications which are responsible for over 100,000 deaths in the U.S. every year."
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-03-19-tracking-drugs_N.htm

"Ask your doctor why (s)he just doesn't treat you, the patient, rather than your symptoms."

Just leave me be. I asked for prayer, not advice.

Hey Jellybean I will certainly pray for you. I also suffer from rage - rage so bad that I see red for weeks on end, can't sleep and physically wreck myself with the tension of it all.

I used to rage evil.....oh the misery - I had to lock myself away as I became dangerous in my rage - even to my loved ones - I couldn't go to Church any more because I raged at the evil I saw within her. I have cursed World, Church, neighbour, myself and even God Himself to Hell in my terrible rages. Honest my dear battler I know all about rage - Jesus made sure of that!!

Now?

I rage my hate to hate and my evil to evil and pray for forgiveness in my raging self, that I may be transformed by Christ into a loving individual, EVEN WHEN I RAGE, and reserve Hell for EVIL, no one and nothing else.

For our Heavenly Father, perfectly loving and unspeakable beautiful and good, is God, He is the Creator of all things physical and spiritual - and He says that only those who have existence in evil will end in the lake of fire -Revelation 22 - such a good thing to - for who would want fallen sinners to end up there - or even our imperfect self - only evil\Satan would dream something up like that - our God doesn't and wont.

So my dear friend, please remember Jesus when you judge otherwise you will get badly hurt in The End. (When our Heavenly Saviour removes such evil thoughts from you.)


(Rest assured all RAGE goes to Hell - where it can keep the flames nice and hot - don't be in it - brimstone hurts!)


Gerry

 

[Soulwings]

I'm sorry that I upset you, Jellybean. I will be praying... venting is all well and good but sometimes what is said can lead to debate... once again, I apologize.

Hang tough and do what is best for you.

 

[Ariel]

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[Ariel]

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[aj777]

Just leave me be. I asked for prayer, not advice.

You will be in my prayers.