Spirirual abuse

[Tenebrae]

Its a long story chile uns, however the crux of it is this. Have gotten to a point where Christians suck and God can go take a flying leap.

I wonder about the idea of a forum here or perhaps someone can suggest a more suitable place for Christians who have been through spiritual abuse and need a place to heal. Coz its been over a year since I left that cesspool, and in all reality I'm incredibly bitter and twisted about it and the further I go on

Churches terrify me, because bloody old muggins got sucked in my a seemingly nice and dedicated group of Christians, who were a borderline cult. Ya know what the suckiest thing is though it absolutely terrifies me more than I can describe to go back into a church again. Have always considered myself to be a strong minded person, and yet after I left this cesspool, was really distressed to find out that I was having moments of floating (where I would panic that the cesspool wasn't really a cesspool and I was walking away from something amazing that was of God) this element has been described by many people who have researched cults like the moonies.

The funny thing is though,, had I been beaten up physically, and left for dead, Christians would be like öh dear are you ok, can I help you"ya know, all over me like a dam rash", yet to go through the spiritual equivalent and its like "get over it, you obviously arent strong in the faith or else you would be able to forgive and move on, or your just being self centered. You should simply lift your hands and praise God"

Praise God for what, for opening up to a bunch of people about some of the darkest and most scariest thing in my life, only to go through a process that felt like spiritual rape. To be left in a position where try as I might God terrifies me, cant get past the idea of God, as a sadistic ogre that sets stnadrds for his kids and then beats and berates them when they dont measure up

Crap, sorry, this wasnt meant to go down this path, however what do people think of the idea. Frankly I'm not sure that sort of thing could work on CF

 

[Tenebrae]

so what do people think

Would a forum for survivors of spiritual abuse work here... If not, do you know of any forums, coz I'm sinking fast right now

 

[Catherineanne]

so what do people think

Would a forum for survivors of spiritual abuse work here... If not, do you know of any forums, coz I'm sinking fast right now

Spiritual abuse is appalling, and devastating. I am very sorry for what you have been through. I certainly think there is a case for talking about it here, in general terms, but I think this place is not safe enough for those who are the most deeply wounded.

The following site is one where people can find safety from a range of different experiences, not just spiritual abuse. If you post your story you will find love and acceptance, I am sure. But stay here too, won't you?

If you would like to say anything further, I am listening.


http://voicelessness.com/disc3/index.php

 

[Catherineanne]

Praise God for what, for opening up to a bunch of people about some of the darkest and most scariest thing in my life, only to go through a process that felt like spiritual rape. To be left in a position where try as I might God terrifies me, cant get past the idea of God, as a sadistic ogre that sets stnadrds for his kids and then beats and berates them when they dont measure up

Crap, sorry, this wasnt meant to go down this path, however what do people think of the idea. Frankly I'm not sure that sort of thing could work on CF

God is not a sadistic ogre.

God says, 'Come to me, all ye who are burdened, and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.'

I will pray for you to this God, not the sadist.

 

[Tenebrae]

Off to bed now.


Need to remember that nothing looks particulalry good at 2am...

Catherine, will come back and read both posts agin when I'm not so bleary eyed. Think I coined enough though to say a big thankyou


Sleep before this happens ------------------->

 

[.Sabre.]

I've been spiritually abused myself, to the extent I turned my back on Jesus several times, but I found my way back.

So, if you ever feel the need to talk, I'm just a PM away!

 

[JulySheMustFly]

You are not the only one who has gone through this. I repressed my own anger at God for years. I don't think CF can offer the security one needs to open up about the spiritual abuse that they've experienced. I hope you do find that rest.

You've my ear/eyes if you need them.

 

[Rochir]

I so widh you could see that God is not responsible for all the crap in your life! People are!, not God!

He is WITH YOU, even now when you think He has abandoned you!" I have been through crappy times, I know what it mean to loose everything!!!!

And yet, He was always there with me! Otherwise, i would not be here alife today!

So please, believe He loves you and is with you!

 

[Bick]

Ih Frietag. I too feel sorry for the abuse you have been through.

By "spiritual abuse" I assume it was mainly someones "true" interpretation of the Scriptures, which were imposed upon you.

Like the others in this link, I believe that the God of the Bible, is short on correction and anger, but long on love and forgiveness. And, even though there is evil, sin and death through the ages, God's plan is for all to know him.

Bick

 

[Tenebrae]

The best analogy I can think of to describe the effects of spiritual abuse are this...

Imagine a child who has been through some fairly vile sexual abuse. They open up to another person. That person instead of being a safe person, abuses that child as well.

The child begins to learn that they cant trust anyone, because they trusted someone and then that person further abused them

 

[boughtwithaprice]

That sounds awful, Freitag How are you holding up now? Do you have anyone to talk to? The people here in WWMC are real friendly. I hope that you can find someone to open up to again, so you know that not all people are abusers

 

[Trying2BaFaithfulServant]

<----As many as you need!

I'm so sorry... I think it happens to people more than we know. I feel like I am spiritually abused on a fairly regular basis, although not nearly to the extent it sounds like you have been through.

Without giving away too much personal information, let me just say that I live my life in such a way that tends to rub fundamentalist Christians the wrong way. I am a good person, I go to church, I volunteer regularly, I'm always open to spiritual converations or even emotional conversations. Whenever someone is in need, I am usually (not always) the first person to step up. I consider myself to be a good Christian. I am not without sin, but I am always trying to be a better Christian and person in general.

However, when I cross paths or talk to a fundamentalist Christian, the first thing they tell me is that I am not really a Christian--and that hurts. Then they usually go on to tell me that I am going to Hell. And I have to wonder, if I'm not a Christian, why does the idea of going to Hell scare me so much? Fundamentalist Christians normally make these assumptions, these judgements, before they even try to get to know me. They close their minds and harden their hearts, and then there's just no talking to them.

I just try not to hold it against them. They are trying to show me their beliefs; they're just not doing a very good job of it. I don't like to be judged, so I try not to do it to them (which can be very difficult).

God loves you. Regardless of what anyone might tell you. He created you, He knows everything about you, and He has a plan for you. Don't lose faith because of a few buttholes... They'll get what they deserve.

Cling to God, for He can heal your wounds faster and more thoroughly than anyone on Earth can.

I know you've gotten a lot of offers for help, but if there is anything I can do to help, please PM me.

May God bless you abundantly.

 

[JGL53]

There are two types of "religion" or world philosophies - those based in fear of authority and hate of others - and those based in love and compassion.

Avoid the former and look to the latter for support and you will have done all you can do.

 

[Flynmonkie]

There are two types of "religion" or world philosophies - those based in fear of authority and hate of others - and those based in love and compassion.

Avoid the former and look to the latter for support and you will have done all you can do.

This is so true!

It is really interesting, I have found people usually view God as they view a significant authority figure in their lives, usually their father. For many years (yes I too experienced emotional blackmail of religious abuse) I thought God was angry with me, or he hated me. Every time something bad happened to me (that I did not ask for or cause) I thought God was punishing me. It was a nightmare, and nothing like God. Things that happen here are products of living on this earth. I do not believe God punishes us, I do believe God allows, as any good parent would, for us to suffer consequence of our actions to learn our lessons, however, I could not even tell you how many times I did not suffer from consequence because of His mercy.

One of the things that helped me through this was first learning all of Gods promises to us. You cannot claim them if you don’t know them (you will still benefit, but you cannot refer to them in times of trouble) Charles Stanley used to have them listed on his site by situation fear, hope, pain, suffering, financial worries etc.. He is Baptist, so you might see some things that you might not agree with, but Gods promises are for everyone. It is a great place when you really need reassurance. Nice to meet you!

 

[JGL53]

This is so true!...

Of course it is or I wouldn't have said it!

...One of the things that helped me through this was first learning all of Gods promises to us. You cannot claim them if you don’t know them (you will still benefit, but you cannot refer to them in times of trouble) Charles Stanley used to have them listed on his site by situation fear, hope, pain, suffering, financial worries etc.. He is Baptist, so you might see some things that you might not agree with, but Gods promises are for everyone. It is a great place when you really need reassurance. Nice to meet you!...

And you.

I have seen Charles Stanley on TV - actually saw him in person once as I strolled though an Atlanta mall - but I've never actually listened to him much to see what kind of religion he advocates.

Some Baptists are OK in my view. Some are not. The latter would be people like the late Jerry Falwell. Also anyone who believes in or teaches a literal hell.

I'm an ex-SBC Baptist, BTW, and it was the hell thing that got me to see the light - the light being that I needed to get up, get out, and never come back.

But I have friends who attend SBC Baptist church who are perfectly fine individuals. I don't know exactly what many of them "believe" but whatever it is, I assume it is something decent.

 

[Flynmonkie]

I do not believe in a literal hell either , hence I get to visit with you now! I have prayed and prayed for God to lead me where He wants me, I feel He wants me to stay where I have been called for now. So I am making the best of it. Until they kick me on my hoo-hoo, I am here. Not to steal from JFK but I believe, "ask not what your church may do for you, but what you may do for your church ."

I don't see eye to eye on many issues, I am pro choice (with ethical consideration), pro stem cell (with ethical consideration), For "gay" rights, and all in all generally just against "The New Right" tactics. I don't believe in wrapping the flag around the cross, and I truly believe that I cannot judge how God is working with another’s heart.

I think we all have issues, this goes for our "Spiritual" leaders out there. Each one is going to have a quirk, some legalism some too liberal etc.. I believe that is where our own study and prayer comes in. Christianity to me is not a denomination or a blanket religiosity; it is a relationship, your own personal relationship with your loving father. It is just that simple. He promises to help you grow to what you need to be. (Sanctification)

 

[BrBob]

Spiritual abuse is a topic I need to read more about and to discuss more. I believe I have also been a victim of it and I don't like it one bit. I've never been a victim of anything and the label doesn't suit me!

Thanks
Bob

 

[Flynmonkie]

Bob, you know, my thoughts about being a victim is that we are all victimized [.] In one way or another, it is just a product of living in this so imperfect world. However, it is how you grow through it is what counts. I have come to believe that everyone has those days where we feel "sorry for ourselves", but one ends up victimizing themselves if they let it take over their life. Victim=Survivor. Education IS the best way to feel control and feel you are no longer a victim. IMHO

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Its a long story chile uns, however the crux of it is this. Have gotten to a point where Christians suck and God can go take a flying leap.

I wonder about the idea of a forum here or perhaps someone can suggest a more suitable place for Christians who have been through spiritual abuse and need a place to heal. Coz its been over a year since I left that cesspool, and in all reality I'm incredibly bitter and twisted about it and the further I go on

Churches terrify me, because bloody old muggins got sucked in my a seemingly nice and dedicated group of Christians, who were a borderline cult. Ya know what the suckiest thing is though it absolutely terrifies me more than I can describe to go back into a church again. Have always considered myself to be a strong minded person, and yet after I left this cesspool, was really distressed to find out that I was having moments of floating (where I would panic that the cesspool wasn't really a cesspool and I was walking away from something amazing that was of God) this element has been described by many people who have researched cults like the moonies.

The funny thing is though,, had I been beaten up physically, and left for dead, Christians would be like öh dear are you ok, can I help you"ya know, all over me like a dam rash", yet to go through the spiritual equivalent and its like "get over it, you obviously arent strong in the faith or else you would be able to forgive and move on, or your just being self centered. You should simply lift your hands and praise God"

Praise God for what, for opening up to a bunch of people about some of the darkest and most scariest thing in my life, only to go through a process that felt like spiritual rape. To be left in a position where try as I might God terrifies me, cant get past the idea of God, as a sadistic ogre that sets stnadrds for his kids and then beats and berates them when they dont measure up

Crap, sorry, this wasnt meant to go down this path, however what do people think of the idea. Frankly I'm not sure that sort of thing could work on CF

Thank you so much for posting so openly and honestly, sis.

I've been down that road, and that is why I stay away from churches like the plague. Unfortunately Christianity seems to be a religion with a uniquely social component -- unlike the various solitary praxes out there in which I once engaged -- and remaining true on the path is difficult if not well nigh impossible without the support of "the Body". But WHO ARE THAT BODY is what I'd like to know and why is it scattered with pieces sewn on from the frankenstein monster of cultic dynamics and cultish behavior/thinking you have so aptly described, and WHY WHY WHY for the love of God do people like us who have been where we've been and NEED that stability have to be put through the meat grinder like this??? just for trying to follow Christ???

When I was younger I used to say Christianity was too "people-y"
for me, that I am (vehemently) NOT a "people person" so it was a doomed proposition from the start. There simply IS no way to be a Christian and NOT be involved with people in the process.

Sorry, rambling. But I know what you're going through, I really do. Hell, it's difficult enough finding a few sane souls in the wasteland of the internet, let alone expecting to walk into a gathering in a brick building and find the actual body of Christ experience the Bible leads us to eagerly anticipate.

It seems to be getting worse, too, not better. And have you noticed how EVERYONE wants to say "oh I know, but WE are not like that"??? ARRRGGGHGHHH!!! If you are in a bloody churchy hierarchical structure you bloody well ARE like that, and even where leadership is loose the cliques rule the roost and ruin the day!!

 

[BrBob]

Have any of you been subjected to the new reformation teachings?