If you are around someone who says words that make you cringe do you say anything or just let it go?
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Speaking up
- Thread starter llghoney
- Start date
Rhododendron
Senior Veteran
It depends on who it is, and what it's about.If you are around someone who says words that make you cringe do you say anything or just let it go?
If it's something silly like "I like A, and anyone who likes B doesn't have a clue." I usually just let it go because it doesn't matter. (if I like B, but it's a stupid topic, I'll just let them talk.)
When someone is forcing something on me that I don't believe in, I will tell them how I feel firmly. (an important topic. But only if forced, not if brought up casually.)
If someone is immature and says something raunchy, I give no reaction.
But if any of the above comes from my husband or someone else I'm close to, I'll say something. I usually just humour our older family members who are set in their ways and have their opinions about things that don't matter. (and same with people I don't know as well) I don't want to start a war over which ice cream flavour is the best or something LOL! I pick my battles.
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What if it is racial oriented?
And what do you say if you speak up?
I mean you are sitting there and they say a cringing word do you say "that was uncalled for"? And what if it's your H's employee?
And what do you say if you speak up?
I mean you are sitting there and they say a cringing word do you say "that was uncalled for"? And what if it's your H's employee?
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LilyBride
Active Member
If it is racially oriented, I'll just say "Please don't speak that way around me. I find it very offensive" and leave it at that. If it continues I walk away.
As far as if it is my H 'semployee... if it was outside of a working emvironment, my reaction would be the same as above. If it were in a working environment I would bring it to my h's attention and let him deal with it.
As far as if it is my H 'semployee... if it was outside of a working emvironment, my reaction would be the same as above. If it were in a working environment I would bring it to my h's attention and let him deal with it.
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rainbowpromises
Guest
I have come to realize that non-christians cannot be expected to change for me. I cringe and let it go, but avoid spending too much time with these people. If I am forced to spend time with them, I usually rub off on them.
However when I hear someone professing to be a Christian using bad word choices, I make sure they understand where I stand and where the Bible says they should stand. If they protest I make a mental note to not approach them for godly advice.
I do have Christian friends who have confided that when they get away from a daily prayer and study life, they will begin to use the world's speech. I understand that concept since foul words run through my head when reduce my time with God.
However when I hear someone professing to be a Christian using bad word choices, I make sure they understand where I stand and where the Bible says they should stand. If they protest I make a mental note to not approach them for godly advice.
I do have Christian friends who have confided that when they get away from a daily prayer and study life, they will begin to use the world's speech. I understand that concept since foul words run through my head when reduce my time with God.
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ImperialPhantom
Guest
There is absolutely nothing anyone could say that would cause me to cringe. I do not hesitate to voice my opinions on what they said, though, when I disagree with them.
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gracepaints
Guest
I'll admit that I cringe and remain silent unless it's something particularly offensive.
For example, I've noticed that some people are vocal about their political stances with the apparent assumption that everyone in earshot agrees with them. It makes me crazy, but I usually just bite my tongue and congratulate myself on having better manners.
If someone where to say something racist, sexist or religiously intolerant right to my face with the expectation that I am going to agree with them, I will DEFINITELY speak up.
For example, I've noticed that some people are vocal about their political stances with the apparent assumption that everyone in earshot agrees with them. It makes me crazy, but I usually just bite my tongue and congratulate myself on having better manners.
If someone where to say something racist, sexist or religiously intolerant right to my face with the expectation that I am going to agree with them, I will DEFINITELY speak up.
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£
£amb
Guest
If you are around someone who says words that make you cringe do you say anything or just let it go?
I usually let it go, but I make sure I give them the most evil look and then smile....
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Thanks everyone for your advice!!
I don't necessarily expect people to change for me, but I guess it's more of setting an example is what I'm thinking when people say things. Like for example using the Lord's name in vain. That really really bothers me that one word. And I so want to just blurt out please don't say that!
Most of the time I feel like that people think I'm trying to be Miss goody too shoes or whatever. I guess that's just part of being in the world though & the attacks we as christians get. But I'll take it any day to have peace in the end!
I don't necessarily expect people to change for me, but I guess it's more of setting an example is what I'm thinking when people say things. Like for example using the Lord's name in vain. That really really bothers me that one word. And I so want to just blurt out please don't say that!
Most of the time I feel like that people think I'm trying to be Miss goody too shoes or whatever. I guess that's just part of being in the world though & the attacks we as christians get. But I'll take it any day to have peace in the end!
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JulySheMustFly
Legend
Saying GD bugs me no end so I'll say something.
Derogatory racial statements bug me along with homophobic statements and ones about "retards." Most of the time I will say something like, "Come on there is no need for that." People know what that is and if they have a problem with being respectful I often walk away. Not worth it.
Derogatory racial statements bug me along with homophobic statements and ones about "retards." Most of the time I will say something like, "Come on there is no need for that." People know what that is and if they have a problem with being respectful I often walk away. Not worth it.
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Redguard
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It depends on whose mouth it comes out of.
If an adult curses around me, I'm not going to always take the effort to let them know how I feel about them using certain words.
Kids, on the other hand, I get more concerned with.
Most commonly, however, I find myself correcting people when I hear them say stupid/ignorant things. Not so much because it bothers ME, but because I want to save them embarassment if they were to say the same thing around others who weren't as tolerant.
If an adult curses around me, I'm not going to always take the effort to let them know how I feel about them using certain words.
Kids, on the other hand, I get more concerned with.
Most commonly, however, I find myself correcting people when I hear them say stupid/ignorant things. Not so much because it bothers ME, but because I want to save them embarassment if they were to say the same thing around others who weren't as tolerant.
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How do you approach them?
quote=Redguard;32309461]It depends on whose mouth it comes out of.
If an adult curses around me, I'm not going to always take the effort to let them know how I feel about them using certain words.
quote]
So you just brush it off? What if they are around kids when they say it?
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Ariel
Servant
It depends on how close that person is to me. My teenager--I will definitely say something. My husband--I'll wait until we're behind closed doors (but this is so rare--one time in 35 years?) Someone older than me--I'll probably let it go, but still cringe inside.
I'm in a situation now, though, and I'm completely at a loss. My pastor is ex-military, and he thinks nothing of using the less offensive swear words from the pulpit. I'm sitting there with my two teens and I cringe every time. These are words I had to weed out of my own vocabulary while I was still in my twenties. I don't want my sons to hear their pastor use them. But I'm reluctant to say something to him. Instead my husband and I are considering leaving.
I'm in a situation now, though, and I'm completely at a loss. My pastor is ex-military, and he thinks nothing of using the less offensive swear words from the pulpit. I'm sitting there with my two teens and I cringe every time. These are words I had to weed out of my own vocabulary while I was still in my twenties. I don't want my sons to hear their pastor use them. But I'm reluctant to say something to him. Instead my husband and I are considering leaving.
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Redguard
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Fortunately, I can safely say that I don't have anybody within my social circle who would use offensive language around my kid or their own (or others in the vicinity).
However, I was in the grocery store one day. There was a mom and her kid. The kid got around to annoying her somehow and she slapped the kid and called him an f-ing something or another. DW and I just stared at each other in disbelief. The kid must've been 2 or 3 years old, and he started crying.
It took SO MUCH willpower for me to refrain from asking her what her problem was. But I chose to resist. I'm not saying that this was one of those "It's not my problem" sort of deals... but with the few seconds that I had to make the decision, I just chose to stay out of it.
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heartnsoul
Don't settle for less than God's best!
It depends how offended you are and how young the children are. You can always talk to the child later when the person leaves and explain to the child that you disagree with the use of racist words.
If you very offended by the racist comment, you should probably speak up in a polite or humorous manner. Depending how good friends you are with the person, I usually use humor to get my point across. I'll say something like "Hey, I have a friend who is (asian, black, polish, etc.) Don't use that word or I'll have to go over there and smack you on the head". And if you say it in humorous tone but sincerely smile, then the person will usually get the hint and apologize. Usually people are just being themselves and don't even realize when they are saying or doing things that offend others. So unless you bring it to their attention, they will never be aware of what they are saying or doing.
As I get older, I don't get too offended at what others do or say anymore because I let God deal with them. I figure it's easier and less stressful to just forgive others and let go and let God so that I don't stress myself out. I just want peace and happiness in my life. So I focus on my own walk with God. It's time consuming and stressful enough just to maintain a marriage.
Hope you find a solution soon. God bless you llghoney.
If you very offended by the racist comment, you should probably speak up in a polite or humorous manner. Depending how good friends you are with the person, I usually use humor to get my point across. I'll say something like "Hey, I have a friend who is (asian, black, polish, etc.) Don't use that word or I'll have to go over there and smack you on the head". And if you say it in humorous tone but sincerely smile, then the person will usually get the hint and apologize. Usually people are just being themselves and don't even realize when they are saying or doing things that offend others. So unless you bring it to their attention, they will never be aware of what they are saying or doing.
As I get older, I don't get too offended at what others do or say anymore because I let God deal with them. I figure it's easier and less stressful to just forgive others and let go and let God so that I don't stress myself out. I just want peace and happiness in my life. So I focus on my own walk with God. It's time consuming and stressful enough just to maintain a marriage.
Hope you find a solution soon. God bless you llghoney.
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I have in the past just let things go but for some reason the G word just makes me wanna say something when its used. Like as in if I don't say anything am I not being a witness?
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