Speaking up

[heartnsoul]

If you have established the right relationship with him, then I think he wouldn't be offended if you were to address his usage of words. But since he's just an acquaintance of your husband, then it's kind of inappropriate to speak up about it.

I know how you feel. If it's a situation where you will be frequently getting together with him, then you may want to find the right opportunity and let him know that you love God and you do not want to hear those kinds of words. Maybe your husband can say something to him.

Witnessing to God includes so many different ways. Rebuking people is not (in my opinion) the most effective way of being a witness. It's actually does more harm than good because it's really offensive to the receiver of the message. On the other hand, I think just by you being a loving, sweet person that you are, is being a powerful witness enough that your friend sooner or later may feel awkward saying those kinds of words around you. When you become better friends with that guy, you can always joke around with him and say, "Hey, say "MAN" instead of "GD" or you'll have to pay for our meals tonight". A light comment like that will get his attention.

The root of the friend's problem is that he doesn't know Jesus. So sometimes we have to get beyond the symptom and look at the root. Addressing the symptom isn't really curing the problem. So I think if you just be the loving person you are and let God shine in your life, your testimony and actions will speak much louder and will serve to be a more powerful witness to others. Hope that helps. Sorry you are going through that.

Hugs to you. May God reward you for your love and devotion. You are an awesome sister.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

When I hear someone say GD I often say,
"Hey, I know you don't believe in the whole God and Jesus thing but I do and I'd rather you didn't ask my God to damn anything right now thanks."

I've found that they really have no idea what kind of power we as Christians believe that person is calling upon. It is one of the odd things that has opened the door for a quick conversation on what I really believe. Plant the seed and all that.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

If you are around someone who says words that make you cringe do you say anything or just let it go?

I try to let it go as much as possible, unless I feel it's an invasion of my boundaries.

I deal with men in the workplace who make me cringe because it feels their boundaries are little to close for comfort. I try to walk in love with them, but if I feel it's appropriate to speak up, I will. I'm almost to that point with a certain person because he annoys me soo badly, I think he might be able to tell, my tolerance is growing thin with him, and so far I've had a lot of godly tolerance towards him, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Most of the time I communicate my distaste by not showing interest and sort of ignoring, that seems to help.

HB

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Thanks everyone for your advice!!

I don't necessarily expect people to change for me, but I guess it's more of setting an example is what I'm thinking when people say things. Like for example using the Lord's name in vain. That really really bothers me that one word. And I so want to just blurt out please don't say that!

Most of the time I feel like that people think I'm trying to be Miss goody too shoes or whatever. I guess that's just part of being in the world though & the attacks we as christians get. But I'll take it any day to have peace in the end!

The thing about that is that if people know you get "uptight" about it, some of them will do it on purpose. I personally don't deal with cringing by those things because I sort of expect it and I'm confident enough in my faith that I don't view not saying anything as "tolerating it" and it does not reflect on my relationship with God. People know I'm a christian when I've had friendly conversations sharing my revelations or experiances with those who I know are interested and those who I know who are christians. So it has sort of become known in my work place I'm a christian, by those instances or by my life style, but it's not something I feel the need to cram down someone's throat. I don't go out of my way to say "well, I don't agree with drinking" when others around me talk about drinking. If they invite me to go drink I'll tell them politely I don't drink, but it's not a big deal. I think it's about feeling secure in your own relationship with God. I also don't go out of my way to evangelize to people, not because I'm a "closet christian" but because that is a sensitive area and I trust God to bring people to me, and he does, I do it when I feel led, and when I do I don't bug people about it or make them feel pressured. I've found more times than not with a non-christian person that even when I am lead to share the gospel with them, they don't change their life styles over night. I don't come in the next day and say "so, did you go to church" in an attempt to put pressure on them, because chances are they didn't, and if they did, that is great.... but I know that my efforts are not in vein because his word never comes back void (did I say that right?). I've found that many times we are planting seeds of faith that will come into play later in the persons life, and their spiritual growth isn't my territory, but God's.

I communicate my values by practicing them. People tend to not cuss so much around me, and even apologize even without me ever saying to them "hey, I'm a chrisitian" because I don't cuss. And what's on the inside of me naturally comes out in all my conversations. There have been times when I was extremely frustrated or angry and said a cuss word, then immediately said "I shouldn't have said that", not for other's benefit, but for my own... and people hear and see that, they see my values by what I say and the way I live..... it's not something I have to verbally say to them. So, all that said my suggestion to you would be to show them by example, without using any confrontations. They can cuss to you (afterall, that is what is socially acceptable in the secular world) and when you respond politely, without using foul language, chances are they will pick up on that. I hope that helps!

HB

 

[llghoney]

Thanks everyone!!

I guess it's just that shock value of when you first meet someone & you hear it it's like a "no, you didn't" kind of moment!

And I guess where I grew up, too that guys didn't say those kinda things in front of girls especially.

 

[Redguard]

So... when you say you hear the "g" word, are you talking about someone using the Lord's name in vain? Or are there bad words out there that I'm not yet familiar with?

 

[PeppermintTea]

*I haven't read other posts*

I may let it go for a time or two, but after they "know" me, I will say something.

 

[Beth1231]

It depends on who it is, how comfortable I am with them and how often they say it. For example, I have a good friend who uses "Oh my Lord" way too much for my comfort but I dont' want to say anything because it will just make her feel bad and she'll probably have to consciously stop in front of me (she uses it enough that it would be hard). But if it's a one time use of "freakin" then I'll slightly cringe and ask them to pick a different word so I don't slip and repeat it later.
If it's a racial comment, I say something or move away (depending how well I know the person). If it's a stranger, I'm just going to make eyecontact and put some distance between myself and the person.
Like Candace said, I pick my battles. I don't want people to be walking on eggshells around me, but I'll speak up when I need to.

 

[SweetAngel23]

I cry in a corner for everything, I don't speak my mind.

 

[Redguard]

"Oh my Lord"

"freakin"

Beth...

I would appreciate you not using these words. I'm highly offended.

Thank you for your compliance.

Good day!

 

[veryblessed]

Good Advice; It's goes with the topic:

If you are around someone who says words that make you cringe do you say anything or just let it go?


"Never argue with a fool, because not only will he get you down to his level, he will beat you with experience"

 

[Ariel]

There have been times when I've heard people say things casually about God that bothered me. For example, they called Him, 'The man upstairs."

I finally realized why that bothers me so much. Our God is holy. We should treat Him with reverence. He is not "the man upstairs." He is GOD, Creator of the universe.

And yes, He is also my Abba, Father, but even then, when I cry out to Him, I believe I should speak to Him with reverence...

And yes, the "G" words bothers me, too. We are told not to take God's name in vain. It's the third commandment, Exodus 20:7.

 

[Ariel]

"Never argue with a fool, because not only will he get you down to his level, he will beat you with experience"

Wow, that's great--I'm going to have to remember it. Thanks!

 

[llghoney]

So... when you say you hear the "g" word, are you talking about someone using the Lord's name in vain?