Spanking your kids

[rainbowpromises]

I agree. Physical punishment should not be more harsh than this even if the Bible seems to say otherwise.

I don't believe the Bible says otherwise. Colossians 3 says "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." I believe this is aimed at excessive punishment.

 

[SonOfSophroniscus]

If there's no authority then there's no jails, surely? And aye, I'm pro socio-anarchism. Without laws, there is no lawlessness, or would you disagree?

Oh my, now what anarchy? Because if you don't have respect for authority you either have lawlessness or very full jails - oh wait - we do have very full jails. Irrelevant really, because God commands us to respect our parents - one of those 10 Commandments.

 

[SonOfSophroniscus]

Sorry, but how can a definition of a word be factual? Can you please explain this?

Definitions of words are not open to interpretation - they are factual definitions.

Spanking is child abuse, just not a prosecutable offence. Or do you think that striking a child is not a form of abuse?

No I don't agree that spankings are little forms of beatings. Beatings are child abuse and a spanking with an open hand to a child's bottom is not a beating.

'I deserved it'; 'Morally wrong'. The rules in question are arbitrary, so what makes them morally wrong? Because they were chosen by your parents? Would this then mean, that breaking any household rule made by one's parents is 'morally wrong'? This is absurd.

I knew I was wrong for breaking the rules of my parent's household. I did something and my brother got hurt and then I lied about it and my father spanked me and I deserved it. So what I did was morally wrong and I was punished for it.

 

[SonOfSophroniscus]

Straw-men all the way

These examples are not analogous to the original conclusion, hence they may be dismissed.

No more than grabbing a child's arm before they reach for something dangerous is a lighter form of "ripping the child's arm off".
Or grabbing a child before they run into the street w/ oncomming traffic is a lighter form of shaking a child violently....

So breaking any command set by a parent is morally wrong. Since such commands are arbitrary, where does the justification for this lie?

Ask Eve - Eating fruit off a tree isn't "sin"... until it's a tree God forbid her to eat it from.
Same with cookies; there's nothing morally wrong with eating a cookie - but there is something morally wrong with disobeying a parents command not to eat that cookie.

 

[SonOfSophroniscus]

I didn't claim it was a severe form of beating. It is still beating, however.

( waiting for SOS to arrive with the squad car and handcuffs, because, yes, I spanked my children )

Really, to equate spanking with beating is a bit of a stretch. I honestly don't know where you come up with this stuff. If you do not want to spank your children, fine. I hope the form of discipline you choose works every time in every situation. But please, do not label those of us who used a swat to the well padded butt of a toddler as "child beaters". It is insulting and denegrates us as parents.

( I guess I am also in trouble for using a leash on my daughter who loved to wander away at the mall or zoo )

 

[Nadiine]

I didn't claim it was a severe form of beating. It is still beating, however.

It's not BEATING. If you want to play technical, than ANY form of correction is a LESSER VERSION of the fullest extreme -
so sticking a child in a corner for an hour is a less severe form of torture by isolation in one area for 2 weeks. etc. etc.

I can use your argument to make every form of correction "evil" in it's lightest/less severe form.
AND, if you want to claim your argument is accurate, then I can use your argument to continue support for spanking, since after all, ANY form of correction is merely a LESSER FORM of an extreme, it stands to reason that Correction is still necessary (for children and adults alike), so since something in its lesser severe form is better than its [harmful] extreme counterpart, spanking is just as acceptable as verbal or restrictive forms of correction becuz it is less harmful.

 

[MelissaShae]

I wonder if he can come up with something other than the tired straw man comment.

He is trying to start a fight and the easiest way to stop someone like that is to ignore them.

 

[£amb]

Spanking is child abuse, just not a prosecutable offence. Or do you think that striking a child is not a form of abuse?

Can you give us your definition of abuse? People have varifying definitions, and was curious to what yours is. Is there only one form of discipline that a parent should do? Would it meet the individual need of that child? Should a parent be able to raise a child as an individual or should they conform to a method that doesn't meet the need of the child?

I have two boys. The oldest got many spankings growing up because he was strong-willed. Words and time-outs did not work on him. My youngest one did not because he heeded warnings better than the oldest one did and words and time-outs worked on him. I did not correct them as the same child, but as individuals.

All things can be taken to the extreme if you want to. I mean, I could call time-out an abuse if I were being silly. I mean afterall, you are forcing a child to do something they don't want. And to leave them on the chair neglected...oh my. How dare parents do any form of correction on a child's behaviour when it's curbing their free-spirt.

Have you ever seen abused children other than on the news, internet or papers? Have you seen the physical difference between a spanking and beating on a child?

Have you ever had a 3 year old come into your classroom with 2 broken ribs? Have you ever had a 2 year old come into your classroom with scratch marks all over their back and buttocks? Have you ever had a 6 year old come in with a fractured arm? I have been in the Preschool schooling for close to 20 years. I've been in churches and daycares with children of all walks of life. I have seen a child being beaten in a parking lot with a golf club. I've seen a mother take her fist and pound over and over a 5 year old because he talked back to her. I got in between a mother and a chair being thrown at a 4 year old. Shoot, I've gotten in between many angry parents with fists flying.

In all those years, I can count up to over 60 cases of abuse, and remember the name of every single child. I can't tell you how many times I've called the police and watched people being taken away in cuffs.

But I never had to call the police on a parent who spanked a child. The most spankings I've seen a child get in front of me at the preschool was 3 spankings. That was because the child picked up a flower pot and threw it at a teacher. I had to call the mother and she came immediately. Instead of putting the child in time-out, and giving him alittle "pep talk", that parent gave a physical correction. He never did it again of course.

Does that mean all children need to be spanked. No. All children are different. Not all parents who spank use that as the first form of correction. I think that's been repeated over and over in this thread as well, but people get the wrong impression that spanking is the first form of correction which is a false assumption for some parents.

I have seen several posts explain their definition of what spanking is to them. They have said it is open hand and a swat to the bottom or hand. Please show me where someone said they took their fist, balled it up and cornered their child and beat them senseless. Going by the definition that was given in these posts, I would never classify spanking as abuse. And do see that I said "by these posts", and not everyone else in the world. You can be against spanking, but it's your choice as a parent, or when you become one, to correct your child as you see fit.

 

[£amb]

I wonder if he can come up with something other than the tired straw man comment.

He is trying to start a fight and the easiest way to stop someone like that is to ignore them.

Well, I gave my last word to this thread. He can respond any way he wants. When someone goes from discussing a point and to arguing it...then discussion is done on my part.

I have no problem with people who choose not to spank. Those people can raise their child as they see fit, and many children turn out great. There are children who receive spankings that turn out great too without any future problems.

It's when people who try to equate spanking with abuse and then argue their point without really listening to other people's experiences that I will turn a deaf ear too. No point discussing something when it goes beyond discussing.


*now officially un-subscribing*

 

[LoveAlways]

I would not spank my kids. I also would not tell someone else how to raise their kids.

 

[MelissaShae]

Well, I gave my last word to this thread. He can respond any way he wants. When someone goes from discussing a point and to arguing it...then discussion is done on my part.

I have no problem with people who choose not to spank. Those people can raise their child as they see fit, and many children turn out great. There are children who receive spankings that turn out great too without any future problems.

It's when people who try to equate spanking with abuse and then argue their point without really listening to other people's experiences that I will turn a deaf ear too. No point discussing something when it goes beyond discussing.


*now officially un-subscribing*

Thank you for sharing those stories with us.

That must have been so hard to see those children abused and you did the right thing by calling the cops on them.

I too have witnessed abuse in my life and it is the worst thing I have ever seen.

I also agree that there is a big difference between abuse and spankings, but some will always say the two are the same and that is their opinion.

Not all children have to be swatted on the butt some just need a good stern look or talk and that usually straightens them up but some kids need a swat on the bottom to correct bad behavior.

 

[Nadiine]

I would not spank my kids. I also would not tell someone else how to raise their kids.

That's a very fair and I believe, correct viewpoint to this whole thing.
Raise your kids as you choose to as parents, but don't hinder other parents who choose to use that means of discipline.
The obvious evidence is that is hasn't harmed the majority of many if not most generations that it's been used on, so there are no grounds for outlawing it.

 

[scoutswife]

I choose to follow the Lords' scriptures, which are His inspired word. He says through Solomon that if you spare the rod you spoil the child. There are many other references in Proverbs that getting our childrens attention and coeection through spanking is right.

 

[PhantomTorment]

I'm for spanking my children (when I have them)...otherwise they don't learn how unpleasant hitting can be. For example, when I was about 2 years old I went through a stage where I was hitting...my parents were trying to adopt the no spanking idea so I just kept on hitting...

Finally my mom was in the tub, I came in and hit her in the chest (Not a smart move on my part) so she went and lightly slapped me on my hand and I got this horrified look on my face...I never hit again

 

[MelissaShae]

I'm for spanking my children (when I have them)...otherwise they don't learn how unpleasant hitting can be. For example, when I was about 2 years old I went through a stage where I was hitting...my parents were trying to adopt the no spanking idea so I just kept on hitting...

Finally my mom was in the tub, I came in and hit her in the chest (Not a smart move on my part) so she went and lightly slapped me on my hand and I got this horrified look on my face...I never hit again

Good lesson learned and only took one little hand spat

You know some kids bite and won't stop biting and so the parent bites them back and then the child knows how much it hurts and stops biting.

 

[rainbowpromises]

Good lesson learned and only took one little hand spat

You know some kids bite and won't stop biting and so the parent bites them back and then the child knows how much it hurts and stops biting.

I know for a fact that does not work. My second daughter kept on biting until teethng was over. Her sister bit her back once and all it got us was a trip to ER because it infected within an hour. A dog bit her back once and it got us another trip to ER. She still has small scars on her face.

 

[MelissaShae]

I know for a fact that does not work. My second daughter kept on biting until teethng was over. Her sister bit her back once and all it got us was a trip to ER because it infected within an hour. A dog bit her back once and it got us another trip to ER. She still has small scars on her face.

Ouch!!!

Not everything works on every kid but my nephew is a biter and he bit me on the stomach and I bit him back (I did not even leave bite marks on the child) and he has never bitten again because he knew it hurt. He bit lots of kids at daycare and even bit a little baby on the face and since I have bitten him, he has not bitten anyone to this day and will tell you that it hurts.

 

[PeacaHeaven]

Ouch!!!

Not everything works on every kid but my nephew is a biter and he bit me on the stomach and I bit him back (I did not even leave bite marks on the child) and he has never bitten again because he knew it hurt. He bit lots of kids at daycare and even bit a little baby on the face and since I have bitten him, he has not bitten anyone to this day and will tell you that it hurts.

I agree with you, different things work on different kids. I don't think any children are all alike or accept discipline the same.

 

[rainbowpromises]

I agree with you, different things work on different kids. I don't think any children are all alike or accept discipline the same.

That was exactly the attitude that failed me in Childcare class. I expressed the fact that all kids are different to the teacher and boy was I in trouble.

 

[PeacaHeaven]

Originally Posted by SonOfSophroniscus
I didn't claim it was a severe form of beating. It is still beating, however.

It's not BEATING. If you want to play technical, than ANY form of correction is a LESSER VERSION of the fullest extreme -
so sticking a child in a corner for an hour is a less severe form of torture by isolation in one area for 2 weeks. etc. etc.

I can use your argument to make every form of correction "evil" in it's lightest/less severe form.
AND, if you want to claim your argument is accurate, then I can use your argument to continue support for spanking, since after all, ANY form of correction is merely a LESSER FORM of an extreme, it stands to reason that Correction is still necessary (for children and adults alike), so since something in its lesser severe form is better than its [harmful] extreme counterpart, spanking is just as acceptable as verbal or restrictive forms of correction becuz it is less harmful.