Spanking your kids

[MelissaShae]

The Bible instructs us to use a rod of correction on our children.
I believe inflicting a little pain gets a stubborn child's attention.
I was taught many rules about spanking.

• Only spank the buttocks.
• The goal of the rod is the child's repentance.
• Never spank out of anger.
• Have a specific list of offenses that deserve the rod- like lying, stealing, and rebellious disobedience.
• Always spank in private.
• When used properly, the rod stings the buttocks, it is not meant for beating the child.
• I used to give one sting for every year of their age- a three year old got 3 stings on his/her hiney.
• Always express love and reconciliation afterward.

When they reach the age of reason around 8-12 years old,
they are too old to spank.
You will humiliate and demoralize them if you do it.

The number one problem with parental correction is
too often it is accompanied by rejection.
You should never reject your child!

great post and summed up for me what I have been trying to say.

 

[FallingWaters]

Just my view.

Proverb 20:30 Physical punishment cleanses away evil; such discipline purifies the heart.

Proverbs 13:24
Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children while there is hope.Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

Proverbs 23:13
Don’t fail to discipline your children.They won’t die if you spank them.

If there are not conquences for bad behavior, then how is the bad behavior truely going to be reigned in?

On the other hand.

There is another proverb on not going too far with discipline. I have to find it. Will update later.

You are perhaps thinking of this?
Ephesians 6:4 ESV
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Excellent scriptures.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

You are perhaps thinking of this?
Ephesians 6:4 ESV
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Excellent scriptures.

Thank you lol thought it was in proverbs. No wonder I couldn't find it.

 

[lmnop9876]

The Bible instructs us to use a rod of correction on our children.
I believe inflicting a little pain gets a stubborn child's attention.
I was taught many rules about spanking.

• Only spank the buttocks.
• The goal of the rod is the child's repentance.
• Never spank out of anger.
• Have a specific list of offenses that deserve the rod- like lying, stealing, and rebellious disobedience.
• Always spank in private.
• When used properly, the rod stings the buttocks, it is not meant for beating the child.
• I used to give one sting for every year of their age- a three year old got 3 stings on his/her hiney.
• Always express love and reconciliation afterward.

When they reach the age of reason around 8-12 years old,
they are too old to spank.
You will humiliate and demoralize them if you do it.

The number one problem with parental correction is
too often it is accompanied by rejection.
You should never reject your child!

if we take the rod of correction as meaning physical discipline, then the Bible instructs us to beat our children on the back with a literal rod, not to give them a couple of stinging slaps on the buttocks with our hand. and we should also take any foolish person we find and give them a good beating as well, to knock it out of them.

unless the Bible could mean something other than literally beating with a rod?

 

[FallingWaters]

if we take the rod of correction as meaning physical discipline, then the Bible instructs us to beat our children on the back with a literal rod, not to give them a couple of stinging slaps on the buttocks with our hand. and we should also take any foolish person we find and give them a good beating as well, to knock it out of them.
unless the Bible could mean something other than literally beating with a rod?

I did use a rod... a little dowel rod.

I don't believe we are to just go about beating any fool we meet.

Chastisement is about love-
the kind of love that cares about the other person's ultimate good.

You should never discipline someone unless you have a love relationship with them.

 

[Smileyill]

if we take the rod of correction as meaning physical discipline, then the Bible instructs us to beat our children on the back with a literal rod, not to give them a couple of stinging slaps on the buttocks with our hand. and we should also take any foolish person we find and give them a good beating as well, to knock it out of them.

unless the Bible could mean something other than literally beating with a rod?

Actually, the fool applies to government discipline. And up until the last 100 years or so (and still in some countries) they used physical discipline. Why do you think the US constitution reads "not in danger of life or limb?

I don't have the stats on crime since people became adverse to physical discipline, but I do know that Saudia Arabia uses it and has one of the lowest crime rates anywhere.

 

[FallingWaters]

Actually, the fool applies to government discipline. And up until the last 100 years or so (and still in some countries) they used physical discipline. Why do you think the US constitution reads "not in danger of life or limb?

I don't have the stats on crime since people became adverse to physical discipline, but I do know that Saudi Arabia uses it and has one of the lowest crime rates anywhere.

Yeah. I think it's in Thailand where they call it "caning".
I guess they beat you with a stalk of cane?

There was a young American man who went to Thailand several years ago and made a nuisance of himself.
His sentence was supposed to be a caning.
I forget if the American protesters were successful in preventing it or not.
I thought it was great!

Fear of punishment reduces crime!

 

[Smileyill]

Here punishment takes way too long and we have so much corruption that it's hard to tell if they have the right person, anyway.

 

[ArcticFox]

Spanking is nowhere condemned biblically, and in fact has some support in Proverbs ("spare the rod spoil the child" bit). The use of some sort of physical punishment has been a feature of most societies throughout history, if not all of them. It has not been until very recently that this concept has emerged, the concept of physical punishment as "just plain morally wrong."

One thing I have learned is that post-Christian cultures (those that are greatly influenced by Christianity in their history but have changed) tend to go a little nutty; extremes become common, and opinions and positions on every issue imaginable are a dime a dozen. I am sure there are reasons why, but my theory has to do with instilling people with a sense of absolute moral right and wrong, and then they go a little overboard with it and try to turn everything into a universally morally wrong/right issue.

I have never met anyone who received moderate or even slightly severe spanking that speaks ill of it; in fact, they all speak of how they "learned their lesson," and joke light-heartedly about it. We have all met those who were abused as a child, but I think it's often easy to differentiate the two (abuse versus spanking).

I was spanked, had "the belt," and a few other numerous objects. I have no lasting physical injuries, and no mental injuries of any kind from it; if anything, I learned that I shouldn't push things with words because I ought to obey my parents as a child than to question them all the time.

 

[FallingWaters]

I was spanked, had "the belt," and a few other numerous objects. I have no lasting physical injuries, and no mental injuries of any kind from it; if anything, I learned that I shouldn't push things with words because I ought to obey my parents as a child than to question them all the time.

When I was a child I actually preferred a spanking
rather than insults in the form of name-calling.

I was abused as a child in many ways.
My parents never once said they loved me.
But I knew they cared about me because they spanked me when I did wrong.

 

[TheLivingWater]

I got spanked 2 or 3 times in my life
The only thing i can remamber is not what i should stop doing but the hate towerds my parrents for doing it.

Reason always wins !
God bless the ones that Reason !
Amen !

 

[IamAdopted]

Spanking as shown to us in Scripture and for the reason scripture says to use this rod is From Gods breath. Does not the scriptue also say be ye not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of you mind? So when God says if you do this to your child it will reap good that men are above God and all His wisdom and know what is best? Whew this is quite a position to put ourselves in. I think I will bow my knee to the Word of God and let every man be a liar.

 

[IamAdopted]

Spanking a child as scripture teaches is not to harm the child but to train the child in self control. To know what is right and what is wrong. It is for training our child. Not to beat our child or abuse our child. For this is sin. But to train them.

 

[RenHoek]

I got spanked 2 or 3 times in my life
The only thing i can remamber is not what i should stop doing but the hate towerds my parrents for doing it.
Reason always wins !
God bless the ones that Reason !
Amen !

Very dangerous words, all.
Pr 15:5 -
Only a fool despises a parent's discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.

Please show me in scripture where reason is exalted above the wisdom of God.

Pr 14:12 -
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
Pr 26:12 -
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise.
Pr 3:7 -
Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil.

Human reason has no value when it contridicts the Word.

 

[Celticflower]

I got spanked 2 or 3 times in my life
The only thing i can remamber is not what i should stop doing but the hate towerds my parrents for doing it.

Reason always wins !
God bless the ones that Reason !
Amen !

How do you "reason" with a two year old?? A swat on the butt will teach a young one not to run into the road faster, easier and more lastingly than trying to reason with them -- they have no concept of what it is like to be hit by a car.

 

[FallingWaters]

I got spanked 2 or 3 times in my life
The only thing i can remamber is not what i should stop doing but the hate towerds my parrents for doing it.

Reason always wins !
God bless the ones that Reason !
Amen !

It's possible that your parents did not do it properly.
I know mine did not, and most do not.

Also, I noticed that my strong-willed child did not submit to correction
as well as my compliant child did.

But just for kicks, I asked him (the strong-willed one)
yesterday if he hates me or holds any grudges against me
for spanking him, and he said no.
He said he knows he needed to be taught proper behavior.
He's 13 now.

 

[FallingWaters]

How do you "reason" with a two year old?? A swat on the butt will teach a young one not to run into the road faster, easier and more lastingly than trying to reason with them -- they have no concept of what it is like to be hit by a car.

Exactly.

There is an age of reason, but that's around 10 years of age.

 

[ArcticFox]

I got spanked 2 or 3 times in my life
The only thing i can remamber is not what i should stop doing but the hate towerds my parrents for doing it.

Reason always wins !
God bless the ones that Reason !
Amen !

Children develop through stages, and these stages come at roughly about the same time (within a year or two of other children). If the stages are slow, we have arrested mental development.

Because of this, we often forget that children develop aspects of their mental understanding of the world in stages, not all at once. Children do not slowly get "better and better" at discerning things, they become ABLE to discern things that they could not before.

Much research shows quite conclusively that if a child is too young, she cannot understand another's point of view; she only sees the world through her eyes, and is unable to truly comprehend another's feelings or emotions. Therefore, trying to "reason" with her about how it makes Tommy feel is an exercise in futility; we do it because we don't know exactly when she can start to understand, but she just might not be able to no matter how well we explain.

Therefore, at this age, no form of "reasoning" will suffice to modify bad behavior; another method is necessary. Although physical punishment is not absolutely necessary, it is the most convenient and it often is the most effective. Children immediately understand and associate pain with experiences. Although some may get confused, many children immediately associate pain with a poor behavior if the punishment comes immediately and it is explained directly (not "reasoned.")

For example:

Sarah gets up and throws a toy at Tommy, and takes his toy. Within a minute, Sarah's mom says, "Sarah! Do not throw toys at people, and don't take his toys, they aren't yours! You did a bad thing! I'm going to spank you to teach you that's bad!" She immediately spanks Sarah several times. Sarah may repeat this behavior at a later date, and if Sarah's mom repeats, Sarah will learn quickly that throwing a toy at someone = spanking. Spanking = pain, pain = unwanted, and so throwing a toy at someone = unwanted.

Later, Sarah will become able to understand why it's bad (it hurts other people).

 

[£amb]

It's possible that your parents did not do it properly.
I know mine did not, and most do not.

Also, I noticed that my strong-willed child did not submit to correction
as well as my compliant child did.

But just for kicks, I asked him (the strong-willed one)
yesterday if he hates me or holds any grudges against me
for spanking him, and he said no.
He said he knows he needed to be taught proper behavior.
He's 13 now.

I had to respond to this. I've been keeping up with the thread with interest.

Anyway, my son is 12. This week he is having what is called "Family Life". I think that's what it's called? I forget. Oh well, it's where kids are learning about child abuse/neglect, drugs and about their bodies/functions...if you know what I mean. His subject for yesterday was child abuse/neglect. I asked him point blank when he got home from school "do you think the spankings you received as a child were ever abusive?". He said "no, they were for discipline". By what he learned yesterday...in a public school..not a religious school, even he knew the difference between the two.

 

[FallingWaters]

Children develop through stages, and these stages come at roughly about the same time (within a year or two of other children). If the stages are slow, we have arrested mental development.

Because of this, we often forget that children develop aspects of their mental understanding of the world in stages, not all at once. Children do not slowly get "better and better" at discerning things, they become ABLE to discern things that they could not before.

Much research shows quite conclusively that if a child is too young, she cannot understand another's point of view; she only sees the world through her eyes, and is unable to truly comprehend another's feelings or emotions. Therefore, trying to "reason" with her about how it makes Tommy feel is an exercise in futility; we do it because we don't know exactly when she can start to understand, but she just might not be able to no matter how well we explain.

Therefore, at this age, no form of "reasoning" will suffice to modify bad behavior; another method is necessary. Although physical punishment is not absolutely necessary, it is the most convenient and it often is the most effective. Children immediately understand and associate pain with experiences. Although some may get confused, many children immediately associate pain with a poor behavior if the punishment comes immediately and it is explained directly (not "reasoned.")

This is very wise and so true.

For example:

Sarah gets up and throws a toy at Tommy, and takes his toy. Within a minute, Sarah's mom says, "Sarah! Do not throw toys at people, and don't take his toys, they aren't yours! You did a bad thing! I'm going to spank you to teach you that's bad!" She immediately spanks Sarah several times. Sarah may repeat this behavior at a later date, and if Sarah's mom repeats, Sarah will learn quickly that throwing a toy at someone = spanking. Spanking = pain, pain = unwanted, and so throwing a toy at someone = unwanted.

Later, Sarah will become able to understand why it's bad (it hurts other people).

I only hope that Sarah's mommy will take her aside in private to correct her.
Public humiliation is uncalled for and unnecessary.

It takes extra effort and sacrifice on the part of the parent
to stop what you're doing and find a private place to correct the child,
but when the child learns that you are willing to do whatever it takes,
they learn not to cross the line.

If I was out shopping with my child,
we would retreat to the restroom.
I always carried a little rod in my bag.

The most important thing I learned in the parenting classes I attended was that
I had the right, the authority, even the responsibility to expect absolute obedience from my child.

As someone has already said,
it is quite a relief, as your child is headed into the street,
to have them instantly obey when you say, "No!"

By the way, it is also a fact that a disobedient child will not be potty trained.
You cannot teach them anything unless you bribe them or manipulate them into learning it.
It is not a pleasant way to live.


The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:15 ESV