Hurt by Church folk

[ericak101]

I am considered a young adult in my mid late 20s. I surrended my life to Christ 4 and a half years ago and was lonely for a long time until I found these females in the church. There were two girls I met in church that are young adult females. And one of the girls is closest to my age that joined our church a year ago. We seemed to have started off strong together.
The new girl I thought we were cool, but one day I invited her to come to my birthday party, and she said yes. The week of she made it seem like she was currently in another state that week as though she forgot about my birthday event. Then I saw her at church and Im like wait aren't you supposed to be in another state? She said no shes going next week and said stuff that was contradicting. That was def. a red flag. As time goes on, I was just happy to have a church girl I can relate to. I'd hit her up and we'd talk a lot but now and then she'd ghost me. This has happened on and off. Then talk to me again. Now shes recently ghosted me again, she wont answer basic questions that I know shes getting like "OMGSH you got a new job what is it?" Then she'll leave me on read. How she moves is distant. And the other girl, ever since she stopped going to the monthly meetups with me. I noticed she'd ignore my texts and Instagram consistently. They even plan stuff together like visit other churches young adult groups like just last week. And what got me today is that I asked her if she got my text? because people told me she knew information that I'd may want to know. And she was like ummmm... yeah oh ya I did see you texted me and wrote me on Instagram. I didnt click on it. um let me see. This proves she knows what she's doing. And they don't even consider me. This actually made me go into the bathroom at church and cry today so hard. Because I see them for what it is!
I work in the children's ministry and get along with all the older adults there very well. but the two females CLOSEST to my age act off and just click between themselves.
I understand I could easily move on But the reason im hurt is because of the fact they seemed like they liked me, and I thought I finally found CHRISTAIN friends. but then they would switch up and just hang amongst themselves. The other biggest reason is because they both are in the young adult group and the other girl is a youth leader with me. So I have to sit there and feel the energy shift, and connection change, and watch them in my face, being casually nice to me knowing they really don't like me like that. Then I have to do ministry with them and hang around them at the same time.
Another instance is a girl who I used to work with said she was saved and loved Jesus, and I would tell her every blue moon like you know claim the right tips at work , like being a accountability partner, and you know invite her to go to the gym, etc. and we went once, and after she'd preach God to me, over the phone on our first and last phone call, then after that she ghost me, and her energy shift and she'd avoid my question when are we hanging out again. But then she'd go out and hang out with people from work who get drunk with her, they smoke around her , and do things are not Christ like at all. But shes very much still professes God. Not judging her for her weakness but that's my experience with her. Recently, every blue moon shed hit me up plan something, then cancel on me. To the point the last time she asked I left her on read.
Its gotten to the point Im so hurt I don't even like Christians. Yet im a whole christain. I just want to walk like Christ, be Christ-like myself love and care for everyone in a manner that glorifies my Father out of love and be to myself and say forget turning it into anything other than associates. Because obviously the church is a bunch of broken people in a hospital. God knows I am big on loyalty, commitment, and lavishing others with love. But God had to put me in check and learn how to love, and honor the Correct people that deserve it in my life. And not give out loyalty so freely.
The people that I know that are luke warm Christians but try to pray try to go to church but aren't that deep as they should. Have shown me 10x more love and acceptance than people I've tried to befriend that are active in the church.
I don't do everything they do, but they aren't bad influences. And I can freely mention God with them. They have concern care and acceptance, no matter our differences in opinion or whatever that I get from them are better than the people i've met trying to do mission work for God. Or claim to be sold out for God.
It reminds me of the verse Luke 30 when The religious walked past the man bleeding out the road. But the Samaritan came and showed concern care and love. And I feel that Samaritan represents someone whose not religious or as religious but is capable of loving better than someone who swears they have it all together. The bible even tells us 1 corinthians 13:1 says we can speak in tongues be religious and prophesy and still not know how to love correctly. And no matter what gifts of the spirit we have, if we don't have love, we have nothing!!!!
I just wish if I did something wrong they'd tell me, if theres something I need to change tell me. I try my best to be a good friend person. I try to honor God. I know im not perfect. But I try to do good. And im always open for rebuke. Like rejection got to the point where Im trying hard to find wrong in me. Even if it may not be me. To make it make sense.

I also remember I had a dream from God a long time ago. This dream happened after I surrendered to Christ. In this dream I saw MANY people in a cafeteria, and I didn't fit in with almost NOBODY ..I thought! so I went to the uncool table and tried to sit with two of the people there and there was room in that table and guess what. I was pushed off the table, because I still didnt even fit in with the UNCOOLEST kids.
and then i'd had two other dreams one where I was in a classroom and God was teaching the class something, but my seat where I sat was the LAST seat in the class room. And the other dream. I was in line to go somewhere the line was long and I was last in line.
I know God speaks well of being last and the last shall be first. and im sure There is good reasons why God makes sure I don't fit in with people for his purpose. But it stilll....hurts . Rejection hurts. I gave up to the point I just want to focus on my family and my best friend and her family and focus on my goals and dreams and self only.
I don't even want to try to look for any new friends in the church. At this point in life , IM NOT LOOKING! That person has to just come and mesh with me natrually somehow someway, because God forced them into my life, because im not looking or desiring it anymore. Maybe that's how God wants it to be. So I can remain focused on His purpose. at this point. yeah

I won't let that affect my relationship with God. And trying to be like Christ. But it sucks to be so lonely in your walk that the people you thought you'd relate to them the most don't want to be around you.
I don't get drunk, I do drink wine, I don't party in clubs im more of a concert and travel girl, when it comes to my flaws I don't do anything they don't do. I try to surrender to God daily and not gossip, be friendly, giving, kind, encouraging. And Im constantly examining my self like...whats wrong with me?

 

[LoricaLady]

I pray you will be given discernment in forming relationships and that you will be led to true fellowship.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I am considered a young adult in my mid late 20s. I surrended my life to Christ 4 and a half years ago and was lonely for a long time until I found these females in the church. There were two girls I met in church that are young adult females. And one of the girls is closest to my age that joined our church a year ago. We seemed to have started off strong together.
The new girl I thought we were cool, but one day I invited her to come to my birthday party, and she said yes. The week of she made it seem like she was currently in another state that week as though she forgot about my birthday event. Then I saw her at church and Im like wait aren't you supposed to be in another state? She said no shes going next week and said stuff that was contradicting. That was def. a red flag. As time goes on, I was just happy to have a church girl I can relate to. I'd hit her up and we'd talk a lot but now and then she'd ghost me. This has happened on and off. Then talk to me again. Now shes recently ghosted me again, she wont answer basic questions that I know shes getting like "OMGSH you got a new job what is it?" Then she'll leave me on read. How she moves is distant. And the other girl, ever since she stopped going to the monthly meetups with me. I noticed she'd ignore my texts and Instagram consistently. They even plan stuff together like visit other churches young adult groups like just last week. And what got me today is that I asked her if she got my text? because people told me she knew information that I'd may want to know. And she was like ummmm... yeah oh ya I did see you texted me and wrote me on Instagram. I didnt click on it. um let me see. This proves she knows what she's doing. And they don't even consider me. This actually made me go into the bathroom at church and cry today so hard. Because I see them for what it is!
I work in the children's ministry and get along with all the older adults there very well. but the two females CLOSEST to my age act off and just click between themselves.
I understand I could easily move on But the reason im hurt is because of the fact they seemed like they liked me, and I thought I finally found CHRISTAIN friends. but then they would switch up and just hang amongst themselves. The other biggest reason is because they both are in the young adult group and the other girl is a youth leader with me. So I have to sit there and feel the energy shift, and connection change, and watch them in my face, being casually nice to me knowing they really don't like me like that. Then I have to do ministry with them and hang around them at the same time.
Another instance is a girl who I used to work with said she was saved and loved Jesus, and I would tell her every blue moon like you know claim the right tips at work , like being a accountability partner, and you know invite her to go to the gym, etc. and we went once, and after she'd preach God to me, over the phone on our first and last phone call, then after that she ghost me, and her energy shift and she'd avoid my question when are we hanging out again. But then she'd go out and hang out with people from work who get drunk with her, they smoke around her , and do things are not Christ like at all. But shes very much still professes God. Not judging her for her weakness but that's my experience with her. Recently, every blue moon shed hit me up plan something, then cancel on me. To the point the last time she asked I left her on read.
Its gotten to the point Im so hurt I don't even like Christians. I just want to walk like Christ, be Christ-like myself love and care for everyone in a manner that glorifies my Father out of love and be to myself and say forget turning it into anything other than associates. Because obviously the church is a bunch of broken people in a hospital. God knows I am big on loyalty, commitment, and lavishing others with love. But God had to put me in check and learn how to love, and honor the Correct people that deserve it in my life. And not give out loyalty so freely.
The people that I know that are luke warm Christians but try to pray try to go to church but aren't that deep as they should. Have shown me 10x more love and acceptance than people I've tried to befriend that are active in the church.
I don't do everything they do, but they aren't bad influences. And I can freely mention God with them. They have concern care and acceptance, no matter our differences in opinion or whatever that I get from them are better than the people i've met trying to do mission work for God. Or claim to be sold out for God.
It reminds me of the verse Luke 30 when The religious walked past the man bleeding out the road. But the Samaritan came and showed concern care and love. And I feel that Samaritan represents someone whose not religious or as religious but is capable of loving better than someone who swears they have it all together. The bible even tells us 1 corinthians 13:1 says we can speak in tongues be religious and prophesy and still not know how to love correctly. And no matter what gifts of the spirit we have, if we don't have love, we have nothing!!!!
I just wish if I did something wrong they'd tell me, if theres something I need to change tell me. I try my best to be a good friend person. I try to honor God. I know im not perfect. But I try to do good. And im always open for rebuke. Like rejection got to the point where Im trying hard to find wrong in me. Even if it may not be me. To make it make sense.

I also remember I had a dream from God a long time ago. This dream happened after I surrendered to Christ. In this dream I saw MANY people in a cafeteria, and I didn't fit in with almost NOBODY ..I thought! so I went to the uncool table and tried to sit with two of the people there and there was room in that table and guess what. I was pushed off the table, because I still didnt even fit in with the UNCOOLEST kids.
and then i'd had two other dreams one where I was in a classroom and God was teaching the class something, but my seat where I sat was the LAST seat in the class room. And the other dream. I was in line to go somewhere the line was long and I was last in line.
I know God speaks well of being last and the last shall be first. and im sure There is good reasons why God makes sure I don't fit in with people for his purpose. But it stilll....hurts . Rejection hurts. I gave up to the point I just want to focus on my family and my best friend and her family and focus on my goals and dreams and self only.
I don't even want to try to look for any new friends in the church. At this point in life , IM NOT LOOKING! That person has to just come and mesh with me natrually somehow someway, because God forced them into my life, because im not looking or desiring it anymore. Maybe that's how God wants it to be. So I can remain focused on His purpose. at this point. yeah

I won't let that affect my relationship with God. And trying to be like Christ. But it sucks to be so lonely in your walk that the people you thought you'd relate to them the most don't want to be around you.
I don't get drunk, I don't party, when it comes to my flaws I don't do anything they don't do. I try to surrender to God daily and not gossip, be friendly, giving, kind, encouraging. And Im constantly examining my self like...whats wrong with me?

While it's nice to have friends your own age I do think you should gravitate for friendship and social stuff towards the older people.

I was saved over 9 years ago now, and there's a definite difference between my faith and well, nearly everyone (but I converted from a different faith so I think I have a connection to faith that is somewhat different to others, to me it's more serious).

I'm going to say my assumption here since you've recently been saved is that you also might be a little more like me, a little more real and serious about faith.

As the world turns upside down, you need people in your life with a deeper connection to both God and reality to help ground you, and conservative people older than you will help provide some of that.

Plus, with children and everything else they have already made their mistakes and can often give excellent advice. I'm far better at parenting my grandchildren because 'been there, done that, got the T-shirt'.

And honestly, older women may look perfectly prim, but we aren't always as proper as all that in private and may actually relate to things you never realized...

Your just going to need to decide to walk away from the shallow people, and focus on Christ and Christian living. Surround yourself with people of any age who are more conservative and relatable after getting to know them, after giving them a real chance.

You need to get away from thinking your circle is going to be a certain way now, because it's not. It's just going to be following Christ.

 

[linux.poet]

Dear Lord, Please guide this person to the people in her local body of believers that You want her to be with, and away from unsatisfying surface connections with people who don't care and can't be bothered to form a relationship. In Christ's Name, Amen

(also the book Safe People by Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend my also help you avoid throwing your heart and emotional energy after jerks)

 

[Richard T]

I pray you get the best interpretation for your dreams as possible and that you would know where they come from. I just watched an older Derek Prince youtube and one of the most common evil spirits is one of rejection. So be careful about reinforcing any negatives about people rejecting you, or other similar lies that the devil might use to take advantage of you. One thing he also said is that the devil will always try things at the weakest points in your life.

Alternatively, many who are rejected in the bible later find themselves in a much better position. Joseph, Hannah (Samuel's mother) and of course David. In every case there was a reversal of fortune. So your situation and those dreams are interesting and I would just pray that you can press in closer to God to learn about His will in fellowship and everything else that can carry you to victory.

 

[exitstageright]

I am considered a young adult in my mid late 20s. I surrended my life to Christ 4 and a half years ago and was lonely for a long time until I found these females in the church. There were two girls I met in church that are young adult females. And one of the girls is closest to my age that joined our church a year ago. We seemed to have started off strong together.
The new girl I thought we were cool, but one day I invited her to come to my birthday party, and she said yes. The week of she made it seem like she was currently in another state that week as though she forgot about my birthday event. Then I saw her at church and Im like wait aren't you supposed to be in another state? She said no shes going next week and said stuff that was contradicting. That was def. a red flag. As time goes on, I was just happy to have a church girl I can relate to. I'd hit her up and we'd talk a lot but now and then she'd ghost me. This has happened on and off. Then talk to me again. Now shes recently ghosted me again, she wont answer basic questions that I know shes getting like "OMGSH you got a new job what is it?" Then she'll leave me on read. How she moves is distant. And the other girl, ever since she stopped going to the monthly meetups with me. I noticed she'd ignore my texts and Instagram consistently. They even plan stuff together like visit other churches young adult groups like just last week. And what got me today is that I asked her if she got my text? because people told me she knew information that I'd may want to know. And she was like ummmm... yeah oh ya I did see you texted me and wrote me on Instagram. I didnt click on it. um let me see. This proves she knows what she's doing. And they don't even consider me. This actually made me go into the bathroom at church and cry today so hard. Because I see them for what it is!
I work in the children's ministry and get along with all the older adults there very well. but the two females CLOSEST to my age act off and just click between themselves.
I understand I could easily move on But the reason im hurt is because of the fact they seemed like they liked me, and I thought I finally found CHRISTAIN friends. but then they would switch up and just hang amongst themselves. The other biggest reason is because they both are in the young adult group and the other girl is a youth leader with me. So I have to sit there and feel the energy shift, and connection change, and watch them in my face, being casually nice to me knowing they really don't like me like that. Then I have to do ministry with them and hang around them at the same time.
Another instance is a girl who I used to work with said she was saved and loved Jesus, and I would tell her every blue moon like you know claim the right tips at work , like being a accountability partner, and you know invite her to go to the gym, etc. and we went once, and after she'd preach God to me, over the phone on our first and last phone call, then after that she ghost me, and her energy shift and she'd avoid my question when are we hanging out again. But then she'd go out and hang out with people from work who get drunk with her, they smoke around her , and do things are not Christ like at all. But shes very much still professes God. Not judging her for her weakness but that's my experience with her. Recently, every blue moon shed hit me up plan something, then cancel on me. To the point the last time she asked I left her on read.
Its gotten to the point Im so hurt I don't even like Christians. Yet im a whole christain. I just want to walk like Christ, be Christ-like myself love and care for everyone in a manner that glorifies my Father out of love and be to myself and say forget turning it into anything other than associates. Because obviously the church is a bunch of broken people in a hospital. God knows I am big on loyalty, commitment, and lavishing others with love. But God had to put me in check and learn how to love, and honor the Correct people that deserve it in my life. And not give out loyalty so freely.
The people that I know that are luke warm Christians but try to pray try to go to church but aren't that deep as they should. Have shown me 10x more love and acceptance than people I've tried to befriend that are active in the church.
I don't do everything they do, but they aren't bad influences. And I can freely mention God with them. They have concern care and acceptance, no matter our differences in opinion or whatever that I get from them are better than the people i've met trying to do mission work for God. Or claim to be sold out for God.
It reminds me of the verse Luke 30 when The religious walked past the man bleeding out the road. But the Samaritan came and showed concern care and love. And I feel that Samaritan represents someone whose not religious or as religious but is capable of loving better than someone who swears they have it all together. The bible even tells us 1 corinthians 13:1 says we can speak in tongues be religious and prophesy and still not know how to love correctly. And no matter what gifts of the spirit we have, if we don't have love, we have nothing!!!!
I just wish if I did something wrong they'd tell me, if theres something I need to change tell me. I try my best to be a good friend person. I try to honor God. I know im not perfect. But I try to do good. And im always open for rebuke. Like rejection got to the point where Im trying hard to find wrong in me. Even if it may not be me. To make it make sense.

I also remember I had a dream from God a long time ago. This dream happened after I surrendered to Christ. In this dream I saw MANY people in a cafeteria, and I didn't fit in with almost NOBODY ..I thought! so I went to the uncool table and tried to sit with two of the people there and there was room in that table and guess what. I was pushed off the table, because I still didnt even fit in with the UNCOOLEST kids.
and then i'd had two other dreams one where I was in a classroom and God was teaching the class something, but my seat where I sat was the LAST seat in the class room. And the other dream. I was in line to go somewhere the line was long and I was last in line.
I know God speaks well of being last and the last shall be first. and im sure There is good reasons why God makes sure I don't fit in with people for his purpose. But it stilll....hurts . Rejection hurts. I gave up to the point I just want to focus on my family and my best friend and her family and focus on my goals and dreams and self only.
I don't even want to try to look for any new friends in the church. At this point in life , IM NOT LOOKING! That person has to just come and mesh with me natrually somehow someway, because God forced them into my life, because im not looking or desiring it anymore. Maybe that's how God wants it to be. So I can remain focused on His purpose. at this point. yeah

I won't let that affect my relationship with God. And trying to be like Christ. But it sucks to be so lonely in your walk that the people you thought you'd relate to them the most don't want to be around you.
I don't get drunk, I do drink wine, I don't party in clubs im more of a concert and travel girl, when it comes to my flaws I don't do anything they don't do. I try to surrender to God daily and not gossip, be friendly, giving, kind, encouraging. And Im constantly examining my self like...whats wrong with me?

I feel for you,brother in Christ.I have been in a similar situation. I asked a Christian lady out for a second date. She told me,"Ask me out in about a month.I have a sick uncle that I have to take care of,please pray for him." So,I prayed for her sick uncle. About a month later,I saw her picture on Facebook.She was wearing a WEDDING DRESS and bragging about her man she had married. Why didn't she tell me that she was engaged? Why did she lie to me? I may have been praying for someone who did not even exist! I have seen more "Jesus" in non- believing women than I have seen in some Christian women.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

I am considered a young adult in my mid late 20s. I surrended my life to Christ 4 and a half years ago and was lonely for a long time until I found these females in the church. There were two girls I met in church that are young adult females. And one of the girls is closest to my age that joined our church a year ago. We seemed to have started off strong together.
The new girl I thought we were cool, but one day I invited her to come to my birthday party, and she said yes. The week of she made it seem like she was currently in another state that week as though she forgot about my birthday event. Then I saw her at church and Im like wait aren't you supposed to be in another state? She said no shes going next week and said stuff that was contradicting. That was def. a red flag. As time goes on, I was just happy to have a church girl I can relate to. I'd hit her up and we'd talk a lot but now and then she'd ghost me. This has happened on and off. Then talk to me again. Now shes recently ghosted me again, she wont answer basic questions that I know shes getting like "OMGSH you got a new job what is it?" Then she'll leave me on read. How she moves is distant. And the other girl, ever since she stopped going to the monthly meetups with me. I noticed she'd ignore my texts and Instagram consistently. They even plan stuff together like visit other churches young adult groups like just last week. And what got me today is that I asked her if she got my text? because people told me she knew information that I'd may want to know. And she was like ummmm... yeah oh ya I did see you texted me and wrote me on Instagram. I didnt click on it. um let me see. This proves she knows what she's doing. And they don't even consider me. This actually made me go into the bathroom at church and cry today so hard. Because I see them for what it is!
I work in the children's ministry and get along with all the older adults there very well. but the two females CLOSEST to my age act off and just click between themselves.
I understand I could easily move on But the reason im hurt is because of the fact they seemed like they liked me, and I thought I finally found CHRISTAIN friends. but then they would switch up and just hang amongst themselves. The other biggest reason is because they both are in the young adult group and the other girl is a youth leader with me. So I have to sit there and feel the energy shift, and connection change, and watch them in my face, being casually nice to me knowing they really don't like me like that. Then I have to do ministry with them and hang around them at the same time.
Another instance is a girl who I used to work with said she was saved and loved Jesus, and I would tell her every blue moon like you know claim the right tips at work , like being a accountability partner, and you know invite her to go to the gym, etc. and we went once, and after she'd preach God to me, over the phone on our first and last phone call, then after that she ghost me, and her energy shift and she'd avoid my question when are we hanging out again. But then she'd go out and hang out with people from work who get drunk with her, they smoke around her , and do things are not Christ like at all. But shes very much still professes God. Not judging her for her weakness but that's my experience with her. Recently, every blue moon shed hit me up plan something, then cancel on me. To the point the last time she asked I left her on read.
Its gotten to the point Im so hurt I don't even like Christians. Yet im a whole christain. I just want to walk like Christ, be Christ-like myself love and care for everyone in a manner that glorifies my Father out of love and be to myself and say forget turning it into anything other than associates. Because obviously the church is a bunch of broken people in a hospital. God knows I am big on loyalty, commitment, and lavishing others with love. But God had to put me in check and learn how to love, and honor the Correct people that deserve it in my life. And not give out loyalty so freely.
The people that I know that are luke warm Christians but try to pray try to go to church but aren't that deep as they should. Have shown me 10x more love and acceptance than people I've tried to befriend that are active in the church.
I don't do everything they do, but they aren't bad influences. And I can freely mention God with them. They have concern care and acceptance, no matter our differences in opinion or whatever that I get from them are better than the people i've met trying to do mission work for God. Or claim to be sold out for God.
It reminds me of the verse Luke 30 when The religious walked past the man bleeding out the road. But the Samaritan came and showed concern care and love. And I feel that Samaritan represents someone whose not religious or as religious but is capable of loving better than someone who swears they have it all together. The bible even tells us 1 corinthians 13:1 says we can speak in tongues be religious and prophesy and still not know how to love correctly. And no matter what gifts of the spirit we have, if we don't have love, we have nothing!!!!
I just wish if I did something wrong they'd tell me, if theres something I need to change tell me. I try my best to be a good friend person. I try to honor God. I know im not perfect. But I try to do good. And im always open for rebuke. Like rejection got to the point where Im trying hard to find wrong in me. Even if it may not be me. To make it make sense.

I also remember I had a dream from God a long time ago. This dream happened after I surrendered to Christ. In this dream I saw MANY people in a cafeteria, and I didn't fit in with almost NOBODY ..I thought! so I went to the uncool table and tried to sit with two of the people there and there was room in that table and guess what. I was pushed off the table, because I still didnt even fit in with the UNCOOLEST kids.
and then i'd had two other dreams one where I was in a classroom and God was teaching the class something, but my seat where I sat was the LAST seat in the class room. And the other dream. I was in line to go somewhere the line was long and I was last in line.
I know God speaks well of being last and the last shall be first. and im sure There is good reasons why God makes sure I don't fit in with people for his purpose. But it stilll....hurts . Rejection hurts. I gave up to the point I just want to focus on my family and my best friend and her family and focus on my goals and dreams and self only.
I don't even want to try to look for any new friends in the church. At this point in life , IM NOT LOOKING! That person has to just come and mesh with me natrually somehow someway, because God forced them into my life, because im not looking or desiring it anymore. Maybe that's how God wants it to be. So I can remain focused on His purpose. at this point. yeah

I won't let that affect my relationship with God. And trying to be like Christ. But it sucks to be so lonely in your walk that the people you thought you'd relate to them the most don't want to be around you.
I don't get drunk, I do drink wine, I don't party in clubs im more of a concert and travel girl, when it comes to my flaws I don't do anything they don't do. I try to surrender to God daily and not gossip, be friendly, giving, kind, encouraging. And Im constantly examining my self like...whats wrong with me?

I know exactly how you feel. It's cool because I just came on here to talk about my experiences lately at church and i stumbled apon you're thread. Right now I don't have real friends at church anymore and after todays sermon im considering looking at a new church. I know exactly how you feel seeking real Christian friends and then they ghost you while the only people available to hang out aren't believers or active church members. Like you I want to follow Christ and join the body, but ever since 2020 the people at my church feel like a locked door and I'm on the outside. I left my church during that time to find a better one and then felt like i couldn't get to know anyone at other churches i went to. So i came back and now some people just act weird around me. And every Sunday after the sermon i feel like everyone is connected but me. When i first went back, A friend who used to go to my church, told me about a hike the other girls were going on and to talk to the girl in charge. Mind you i was 29 at the time. I didn't know it was for the teen girls and i guess my friend didn't know. So when i asked the girl in charge of the event she just looked at me weird and said rudely "well you actually can't go because its for the younger girls" it wasn't what she said but how she said it. The smug look on her face while she reached over to grab a pretzel. The awkward laugh like why would you think you could come. Mind you if i knew it was for the high schoolers i wouldn't have asked and I walked away feeling humiliated pretending it didn't bother me while holding in tears. That was just one example, but i get the feeling my church isn't following the holy Spirit otherwise they wouldn't be like that. But with all that said nothing is wrong with you or me. Some people are just rude and mean. I hope and pray you find real Christian friends

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

I feel for you,brother in Christ.I have been in a similar situation. I asked a Christian lady out for a second date. She told me,"Ask me out in about a month.I have a sick uncle that I have to take care of,please pray for him." So,I prayed for her sick uncle. About a month later,I saw her picture on Facebook.She was wearing a WEDDING DRESS and bragging about her man she had married. Why didn't she tell me that she was engaged? Why did she lie to me? I may have been praying for someone who did not even exist! I have seen more "Jesus" in non- believing women than I have seen in some Christian women.

That's horrible and evil on her part. I'm so sorry that happened. You deserve a better woman. And she's out there. I don't understand people who lie like that but it shows she's not a real Christian in my opinion. I hope the best for you and don't let her stop you from believing there's nice people out there

 

[walkswithFire]

I am considered a young adult in my mid late 20s. I surrended my life to Christ 4 and a half years ago and was lonely for a long time until I found these females in the church. There were two girls I met in church that are young adult females. And one of the girls is closest to my age that joined our church a year ago. We seemed to have started off strong together.
The new girl I thought we were cool, but one day I invited her to come to my birthday party, and she said yes. The week of she made it seem like she was currently in another state that week as though she forgot about my birthday event. Then I saw her at church and Im like wait aren't you supposed to be in another state? She said no shes going next week and said stuff that was contradicting. That was def. a red flag. As time goes on, I was just happy to have a church girl I can relate to. I'd hit her up and we'd talk a lot but now and then she'd ghost me. This has happened on and off. Then talk to me again. Now shes recently ghosted me again, she wont answer basic questions that I know shes getting like "OMGSH you got a new job what is it?" Then she'll leave me on read. How she moves is distant. And the other girl, ever since she stopped going to the monthly meetups with me. I noticed she'd ignore my texts and Instagram consistently. They even plan stuff together like visit other churches young adult groups like just last week. And what got me today is that I asked her if she got my text? because people told me she knew information that I'd may want to know. And she was like ummmm... yeah oh ya I did see you texted me and wrote me on Instagram. I didnt click on it. um let me see. This proves she knows what she's doing. And they don't even consider me. This actually made me go into the bathroom at church and cry today so hard. Because I see them for what it is!
I work in the children's ministry and get along with all the older adults there very well. but the two females CLOSEST to my age act off and just click between themselves.
I understand I could easily move on But the reason im hurt is because of the fact they seemed like they liked me, and I thought I finally found CHRISTAIN friends. but then they would switch up and just hang amongst themselves. The other biggest reason is because they both are in the young adult group and the other girl is a youth leader with me. So I have to sit there and feel the energy shift, and connection change, and watch them in my face, being casually nice to me knowing they really don't like me like that. Then I have to do ministry with them and hang around them at the same time.
Another instance is a girl who I used to work with said she was saved and loved Jesus, and I would tell her every blue moon like you know claim the right tips at work , like being a accountability partner, and you know invite her to go to the gym, etc. and we went once, and after she'd preach God to me, over the phone on our first and last phone call, then after that she ghost me, and her energy shift and she'd avoid my question when are we hanging out again. But then she'd go out and hang out with people from work who get drunk with her, they smoke around her , and do things are not Christ like at all. But shes very much still professes God. Not judging her for her weakness but that's my experience with her. Recently, every blue moon shed hit me up plan something, then cancel on me. To the point the last time she asked I left her on read.
Its gotten to the point Im so hurt I don't even like Christians. Yet im a whole christain. I just want to walk like Christ, be Christ-like myself love and care for everyone in a manner that glorifies my Father out of love and be to myself and say forget turning it into anything other than associates. Because obviously the church is a bunch of broken people in a hospital. God knows I am big on loyalty, commitment, and lavishing others with love. But God had to put me in check and learn how to love, and honor the Correct people that deserve it in my life. And not give out loyalty so freely.
The people that I know that are luke warm Christians but try to pray try to go to church but aren't that deep as they should. Have shown me 10x more love and acceptance than people I've tried to befriend that are active in the church.
I don't do everything they do, but they aren't bad influences. And I can freely mention God with them. They have concern care and acceptance, no matter our differences in opinion or whatever that I get from them are better than the people i've met trying to do mission work for God. Or claim to be sold out for God.
It reminds me of the verse Luke 30 when The religious walked past the man bleeding out the road. But the Samaritan came and showed concern care and love. And I feel that Samaritan represents someone whose not religious or as religious but is capable of loving better than someone who swears they have it all together. The bible even tells us 1 corinthians 13:1 says we can speak in tongues be religious and prophesy and still not know how to love correctly. And no matter what gifts of the spirit we have, if we don't have love, we have nothing!!!!
I just wish if I did something wrong they'd tell me, if theres something I need to change tell me. I try my best to be a good friend person. I try to honor God. I know im not perfect. But I try to do good. And im always open for rebuke. Like rejection got to the point where Im trying hard to find wrong in me. Even if it may not be me. To make it make sense.

I also remember I had a dream from God a long time ago. This dream happened after I surrendered to Christ. In this dream I saw MANY people in a cafeteria, and I didn't fit in with almost NOBODY ..I thought! so I went to the uncool table and tried to sit with two of the people there and there was room in that table and guess what. I was pushed off the table, because I still didnt even fit in with the UNCOOLEST kids.
and then i'd had two other dreams one where I was in a classroom and God was teaching the class something, but my seat where I sat was the LAST seat in the class room. And the other dream. I was in line to go somewhere the line was long and I was last in line.
I know God speaks well of being last and the last shall be first. and im sure There is good reasons why God makes sure I don't fit in with people for his purpose. But it stilll....hurts . Rejection hurts. I gave up to the point I just want to focus on my family and my best friend and her family and focus on my goals and dreams and self only.
I don't even want to try to look for any new friends in the church. At this point in life , IM NOT LOOKING! That person has to just come and mesh with me natrually somehow someway, because God forced them into my life, because im not looking or desiring it anymore. Maybe that's how God wants it to be. So I can remain focused on His purpose. at this point. yeah

I won't let that affect my relationship with God. And trying to be like Christ. But it sucks to be so lonely in your walk that the people you thought you'd relate to them the most don't want to be around you.
I don't get drunk, I do drink wine, I don't party in clubs im more of a concert and travel girl, when it comes to my flaws I don't do anything they don't do. I try to surrender to God daily and not gossip, be friendly, giving, kind, encouraging. And Im constantly examining my self like...whats wrong with me?

It's because you have a calling on your life dear one. He has set you apart for a purpose. The friends you speak of are at different levels of maturity Most have one foot in the world and one foot in Christ. When I was a young person and new to the church body, I found that the young people who were bought up in a Church environment, did not always have a personal relationship with God. However, they did know how to act like a believer because they were trained. Basically they have held on the their parents shirt tails. If I may suggest.

Some day you will find the right group of people around you and I pray this will happen for you soon. However, it is clear by your own dreams that God has set you apart and you may have to walk a little while with him for a time.

Blessings to you and Peace from God!

 

[exitstageright]

That's horrible and evil on her part. I'm so sorry that happened. You deserve a better woman. And she's out there. I don't understand people who lie like that but it shows she's not a real Christian in my opinion. I hope the best for you and don't let her stop you from believing there's nice people out there

I Thank you for your encouragement. But, as an analogy, if one strikes out every time one comes up to bat, one tend to get discouraged and not want to play baseball anymore.