Spanking babies?

[JohnDB]

I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever had to spank my son.
It was only used for willful defiance.

But my "no" meant no and "yes" meant yes...they never meant "beg harder". So when I said "I love you" it was never up for arguments, discussion, maybe or only if...

Redirection at an infant stage is the best tool.
When the child can talk never give them the encouragement to lie. "Did you take a cookie?" When you know they did.
Of course the anger in your voice will terrify them into doing anything but disappoint their parents... meaning they won't tell the truth.

I remember the first time I had to inflict corporal punishment on my son...it wasn't severe in any sense of the word. But he was figuring out what "no" meant and it was kinda a game to him. He went from one thing and then to another that ellicited a "NO" from his parents. That was when I gave his hand a very slightly stinging slap...and the look on his face was sheer horror of what he had done once he figured it out.

He was always the best behaved child... really never tried our patience. Of course he made mistakes...kids do that. But each time it was met with consequences and forgotten. He has a good job in a bank today... trying to get into management. Loves coming over to hang out with Dad.
I do wish he would date a little more ending up to be married so I can get some grandkids. Otherwise he's a great son.

 

[NerdGirl]

I never spanked my son, either. Like John said, "no" meant no, and "yes" meant yes. I didn't count to ten. If I told him to do something, or stop doing something, obedience was expected immediately, and if it didn't happen, there were immediate consequences. Tantrums were ignored. I explained everything. "This is why you don't do this. This is why I said that you need do that. This is how you or others could get hurt. It's important to show love and respect for your mother and for God and the rules we have." There was never a punishment without 1) a warning 2) an explanation and 3) a reminder that I loved him and the offense would pass and everything would be all right.

You don't negotiate with your child. You don't count down. You don't beg. You don't threaten. You lay down the rules and then you calmly and fairly enforce them. Threats, counting, begging, negotiating; these are lazy parenting. These are the things that lead to frustration for both parent and child.

Oh, and my son is now grown and one of the kindest, most respectful, polite, helpful, big-hearted, fun, wonderful young men you could ever meet.

 

[Lost4words]

If you have to hit your child, because that is what spanking is, then you are seriously doing something wrong.

No way should any parent lift a hand to their babies / children.

 

[JohnDB]

I actually talked with my son the other week about his experience growing up and my discipline methods.
He's been exposed to covid-19 so he couldn't come over yesterday.

He made a big deal about the spankings growing up... even to this day. (Count is less than 5X)
And then his frustrations with my saying "no" all the time.
Until I asked him. "Did you ever doubt that I loved you?"
The look on his face was one of sheer confusion. And then the look of "How stupid do I look?" .
He said "Of course not....duh"

He's a Millenial...that's about as good as it gets.

Still hoping for a more ambitious dating life though. A nice Christian girl who makes lots of grandkids.