Some Perspective

[Superlawyerwoman]

Hello everyone. I grew up with a mother who was constantly depressed. I started this thread for some insight. I want to know what it feels like to be on the parenting end and what struggles depression brings to parenting. In return if you have any questions about the childs point of view, I would be happy to reply. I think it would help the healing process if I could know how she felt. Thank you guys so much.

 

[PrairieGurl]

As a mother who has suffered with depression, (and just recently diagnosed with Bipolar) even before her sons were born...I can tell you the perspective is grim. There was much guilt, crying, wanting to end it all so I wouldn't "hurt" my boys emotionally & mentally anymore (or anyone else), self hate and hopeless dispair.

It was heart breaking to have the little ones come up to me when I was crying on the couch and say "Please don't cry Mommy". When I would sleep most of the day, they would wonder if I was ill. "If we pray for you Mommy will you be all better"? Just heart breaking.

As best I could do...on the "up" days...I would try and manage best I could, and the guys so loved these times.

There is one thing that I still struggle not to beat myself up over. But since on of my boys is also on this site, should you want to know what it is...you could pm me.

As the boys got older and I started self medicating myself...they saw too much heartache. Their Mother pasted out, unable to speak (due to pills) and about 4 times, have the ambulance come to take their unresponsive Mom away and not be able to visit her in the hospital.

I got angry easily, little things they did wrong bothered me greatly and noise was something I found hard to deal with.

How can I live with myself after this one may ask? I am forgiven by Jesus Precious Blood. My boys were bathed in prayer by a loving Grandma and many others which I really believed spared them from some of the heartache.

I can not make up for the time I refused help and medication. But I am grateful to say...my sons and I have a most precious relationship now. At 18 & 17 years of age...they understand more now about why their Mom was the way she was. (They have a love, acceptance and understanding for other people who suffer with this disease, which many other people do not.) Their Dad never belittled their Mom in front of them. He loved their Mom in sickness and in health.

Forgiven and Given Another Chance

Wendy

 

[Abigayle's Legacy]

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