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Some advice needed

tyberium

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Jul 14, 2004
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I need some advice. Here is the situation.

I was introduced to a girl who I was told has expressed verbal interest in me. From what I understand she is a christian. She get me a copy of her schedule, delivered to me thorugh a mutual aquaintence. I have not met this girl yet, but she has seen me before and apparently knows a little bit about me. So I go up to her work when I think she is not going to be busy, but the place was packed, so I ask when I can come back. So I come back later that night and this is the first time I have ever seen this girl. She is shorter than me, which 99% of people are, and she seems happy to meet me and she gives me her phone number.

I tell her I will call her and I go home. It is about 945pm, so I decide to wait to call her until the next day. I call her at 11am, 230pm, and 830pm. She does not pick up the phone so I leave a message with the first and last call. I just tell her to call me back if she wants to get some lunch and talk.

Later that night I meet up with the girl who introduced me to this "blind date" and she tells me that this girl is getting set up with one of her other friends that she has known for some time.

I have no problem with this. Its cool to change your mind, but here is my delima. Do I have to tell this girl that I am cool with this. We only met for a couple minutes, but do I need to leave the door open? Should I tell her that my offer for lunch still stands if it does not work out? I know it sounds desperate, but we never got a chance to even sit down and talk about the basics.

Should I leave an opportunity open to get to know this girl if things go sour with this other date or just leave it be? And if I should leave it be should I inform her that there are nor hard feelings, since she is this other girls manager?
 

HomeBound

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Truthfully, I wouldn't say another word about it. If she mentions it to you, or your friend, then say that your offer still stands. Women are immediately turned off if a guy seems desperate. You left the ball in her court by leaving those messages.
 
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Brittany108

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HomeBound said:
Women are immediately turned off if a guy seems desperate.
That is soooo true. Desperation is a HUGE turn off. Do not call her . . .there is no need for you to tell her that you don't have a problem with her hooking up with the other guy (it doesn't matter what you think - there was nothing between you two). Just a word of advice -- only call once and then wait for her to return you phone call. Three times is a bit excessive considering you don't even know the girl.
 
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Ginsu

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So the girl doesn't reply to you and is being set up on another outing with someone else.
What could this say about her character?

Just go on your own way, only go out with her when she comes back ready to be serious.
 
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jenptcfan

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I agree. If she didn't call you and talk to you personally about having a date with someone else, why would you call her and talk to her personally about being cool with it? I think it would make you seem desperate.

The ball is in her court now...just go on about your life and if she wants to get in contact with you later she will.
 
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Living4Him03

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She honestly seems a bit immature, although I don't know her. If she was interested in this other guy and knew you would likely stop by to get her number, she should have told you when you came to get her number that she actually had made other plans, but would still like to talk to you sometime and then she would proceed by telling you when a good time to call would probably be. Or, whatever the case was, she should have informed you of what was going on. Asking someone to come pick up your number from work is sort of a mediocre way of going about things. She could have just suggested your mutual friend invite you to a group date type thing and then you could have chatted there. If not that AT LEAST she could have returned your phone calls and told you that she had other plans or was planning to meet up with someone else. If she wants to contact you, she will. It seems though that she doesn't have the courtesy to return your phone calls or is extremely busy. Let's hope she's busy. Anyway, don't sweat it too much.
 
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