Submission in itself is not abusive, yet encouraging submission when it isn't necessary could be easily construed and argued to be abusive anyway. Not all women are submissive by nature, nor should they be.
My mother is the breadwinner and arguably an equal to my father in the household I was raised in. He provided for us when she was the stay at home mother, of course, but that doesn't mean she was content to just stay and home and waste away and not use her "God given" potential to better the world. To say my mother is going against God's plan is insulting, especially when my family, myself excluded obviously, is quite faithful Christians, though I can see people easily tearing them down because of various reason (they don't go to church, for example, they just seem to pay lip service)
How about a relationship where the two people involved are basically equals even if they have different capacities? AS in, the woman is not submissive to man entirely, because, arguably, the man can submit to women's judgment in spite of the persistent myth that women shouldn't educate men in any way, which is patently false, considering most of the best teachers I've had in my life are women, as well as some of the smartest people I know
And what would you know about a woman's happiness as a man? Also, this dichotomy you create is nonsensical: a relationship is not founded on dominance, it's founded on mutual respect. My parents can argue, but they nonetheless respect each other and acknowledge their faults and their skills, they complement each other in that sense. My mother doesn't overpower my father and my father doesn't overpower my mother, they are a pair, they are an equal union. No relationship worth having is based on one submitting to the other in a sense that isn't mutual and informed by basic logic of human dynamics, which don't involve a pure one sided relationship of power.
Seems to me you have a skewed notion of what a woman should do in a relationship, rather than having some humility and possibly acknowledging that woman can also teach you things.