Sociopathic Child of God

[Angelod]

Hey, guys, I haven't been around in like 6 months, well I've been doing a lot in my life

I`ve graduated! Yea I got a degree in psychology (bachelors)

I plan to go for my masters in psych online next August. I also have still held a job. I've been there for almost 2 years.

I`m in therapy and doing well, I'm also going to church, this has caused some issues. But other than that I have an accountability partner to help battle my inappropriate content addiction.

I`ve been doing MUCH better with my inappropriate content issue, I went 19 days inappropriate content free, a couple of days ago I relapsed.

I've been walking several miles a day. Ive lost 150lbs since last year. I was 455lbs at my heaviest, now I`m 315.

Ive had some issues at school. No one talked to me, no one wanted to be my friend. Not only this but I was still mentally sensitive from all the inappropriate content and didnt know how to befriend anyone that was a girl. I befriended one girl at school, but in the end my mind has sexualized her and to make matters worse she is about to get married in 3 weeks. Her future husband is my accountability partner, he put a block on my new computer and also will be putting a block on my desktop. But I have been jealous of how the two interact, I crave companionship, not sex. I`ve come to the realization that I`m on the asexual spectrum. I`m graysexual, I seldom like girls, but I still don't crave sex.

 

[Angelod]

What I've realized through therapy is that I really just want to hold someone, and have a deeper friendship. I don't like women that much, I'm MGTOW. I'm redpill, the reason why I sexualize girls is because of all the inappropriate content I've been fed since I was 6. THIS is the problem, it's a numbing response to feeling something. If it wasn't for this I wouldn't have much to look forward to when it came to girls, I just don't want much to do with today's modern woman. I don't want to get married, I don't want kids, I don't want to date, I just have no interest in having a family or Girlfriend. I`m just tired of people in general

 

[Job3315]

Hey, guys, I haven't been around in like 6 months, well I've been doing a lot in my life

I`ve graduated! Yea I got a degree in psychology (bachelors)

I plan to go for my masters in psych online next August. I also have still held a job. I've been there for almost 2 years.

I`m in therapy and doing well, I'm also going to church, this has caused some issues. But other than that I have an accountability partner to help battle my inappropriate content addiction.

I`ve been doing MUCH better with my inappropriate content issue, I went 19 days inappropriate content free, a couple of days ago I relapsed.

I've been walking several miles a day. Ive lost 150lbs since last year. I was 455lbs at my heaviest, now I`m 315.

Ive had some issues at school. No one talked to me, no one wanted to be my friend. Not only this but I was still mentally sensitive from all the inappropriate content and didnt know how to befriend anyone that was a girl. I befriended one girl at school, but in the end my mind has sexualized her and to make matters worse she is about to get married in 3 weeks. Her future husband is my accountability partner, he put a block on my new computer and also will be putting a block on my desktop. But I have been jealous of how the two interact, I crave companionship, not sex. I`ve come to the realization that I`m on the asexual spectrum. I`m graysexual, I seldom like girls, but I still don't crave sex.

Congratulations on your weight loss, that's awesome! *high 5!*

About not craving sex, it could be hormonal. It is common with overweight people. Maybe check that out with a doctor.

Also, about the inappropriate content, I heard of a great technique by a christian counselor. He said that when you get an urge, grab a piece of paper and start writing what’s on your mind, whatever comes to your mind about what you want to see or do. To do that for about 5 minutes, if you still feel the urge of doing what you were going to do, then do it, but the urge usually goes away after writing down your thoughts.

Wish you the best!

 

[Angelod]

thanks, I`m on the asexual spectrum. I`ve never wanted real sex with anyone, sure ive masterbated, but it was to calm my hormones down.

My testoterone IS low. But I just dont care, I take paxil and other medicine.

I dont want to get into the urges lol

I`m taking Saw Palmetto, it numbs my sex drives and makes me feel like a eunuch.

I`m considering being chemically castrated personally

 

[Job3315]

thanks, I`m on the asexual spectrum. I`ve never wanted real sex with anyone, sure ive masterbated, but it was to calm my hormones down.

My testoterone IS low. But I just dont care, I take paxil and other medicine.

I dont want to get into the urges lol

I`m taking Saw Palmetto, it numbs my sex drives and makes me feel like a eunuch.

I`m considering being chemically castrated personally

Well, maybe you’ll have a different opinion if your testosterone level regulate.

 

[Angelod]

maybe, the metoo movement has killed what little attraction to women I had left in my mind and body. It's just not worth the hassle dealing with women anymore

 

[salt-n-light]

What I've realized through therapy is that I really just want to hold someone, and have a deeper friendship. I don't like women that much, I'm MGTOW. I'm redpill, the reason why I sexualize girls is because of all the inappropriate content I've been fed since I was 6. THIS is the problem, it's a numbing response to feeling something. If it wasn't for this I wouldn't have much to look forward to when it came to girls, I just don't want much to do with today's modern woman. I don't want to get married, I don't want kids, I don't want to date, I just have no interest in having a family or Girlfriend. I`m just tired of people in general

That wouldn't make you asexual though. That justs mean you are not interested in a relationship lol! Same here, but who knows what this life would bring, a man might pass by my way and change my course. Same for you, if it happens don't mentally and emotionally block it. Instead take the time out now to figure out why are you afraid of desiring period, because that sounds like what is happening. If your path of celibacy is healthy, it should be at least one that doesn't have a disgust towards relationships, it would be of one that sees beauty in both but see more fruit from the celibacy.

Idk I would take that spectrum stuff and throw it out the window. The only truth in it is that it identifies the ability for people to change desires.

 

[Angelod]

I really didnt start to notice girls until I was like 20, and even then it wasnt really full blown. I might think someone is cute, but thats it, I dont want much from them except friendship

 

[salt-n-light]

I really didnt start to notice girls until I was like 20, and even then it wasnt really full blown. I might think someone is cute, but thats it, I dont want much from them except friendship

That's fine, let it be friendship then, but consider that you are still young, and still changing, it would be a harsh decision to just castrate yourself for the sake of avoidance as opposed to the sake of focusing that time with God. Still good to settle and sort out unresolved feelings you have towards your view on intimacy and relationships withing yourself, even if you don't plan to pursue.

 

[Angelod]

i was planning on chemical castration because I want to be as pure as possible when I come to god at judgement.

I want to be as sexless as possible and give myself to God without stupid thoughts and sex dreams

 

[salt-n-light]

i was planning on chemical castration because I want to be as pure as possible when I come to god at judgement.

I want to be as sexless as possible and give myself to God without stupid thoughts and sex dreams

Chemical castration doesn't stop the thoughts from coming though. You gotta deal with the thoughts, or else it will fester up in other ways (anger, depression, anxiety, guilt, etc.)

 

[Angelod]

im very numb, I dont feel much, I havent felt much even when I was a child

I guess I will have to practice nofap, its either that or get a sexbot. I dont know how god would feel about me getting a sexbot. hmmm.....

 

[salt-n-light]

im very numb, I dont feel much, I havent felt much even when I was a child

I guess I will have to practice nofap, its either that or get a sexbot. I dont know how god would feel about me getting a sexbot. hmmm.....

Yeahhhh don't get a sexbot, lol. If you're gonna do that, might as well deal with your feelings, and then find a suitable mate to marry. Then you won't need a sexbot

Tadah!

 

[Angelod]

I was raised in the purity culture, and i wasnt taught sexual education that much. I`m 30yr virgin and dont know much about condoms and birth control

 

[salt-n-light]

I was raised in the purity culture, and i wasnt taught sexual education that much. I`m 30yr virgin and dont know much about condoms and birth control

Uh me too, although not one soul was truly pure nor paid attention. Either they had sex or did inappropriate content. It was also probably the same culture that said that oral sex and touching yourself doesn’t count. It upheld the idea of “virginity” as in abstaining from a certain sex position as oppose to actually abstaining from just any form of sex.

At least today’s culture actually owns up to it,our culture tried to mask a lot of stuff.

I guess that’s why people calling themselves “virgin”s makes me skeptical.

 

[Angelod]

Im the real deal. Ive never had a gf, never been kissed, never had a date, never had any sex whatsoever. Im the ultimate virgin lol

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Have you heard of, "The anointing breaks the yoke of bondage."? Supernatural salvation? You can ask for a wife that satisfies you and mends you, rather than expecting you are already good.

Jesus' sacred blood can make your heart clean.

The Truth will set you free. God's fire refines. God gives not fear, but power, love and a sound mind. The fruit of the Spirit is … goodness, kindness, self control. Love the sinners, models, hate the sin. Care too much for them to use them. Hate abortion, behind the scenes. Think of parents, be considerate.

Give up your private internet access? Lay you bondage at the foot of the cross with violence. Cry out to God. Use your psychology to be wiser and overcome. Give your confession to God in private and open your understanding before God about a key area that needs God's knockout, as you progress in becoming holy. Align your will with God's in prayer and ask for consolidating grace. You may need a spirit to be cast out.

Joyce Meyer wrote "The Battlefield of the Mind". Learn your own patterns of thought and action. See Satan's attack methods. Humble yourself and acknowledge that you cannot learn from the tempting thing and always run from it. When it comes to that, think only in words and concepts. Also with a good understanding of the significance of abortion.

 

[Angelod]

Just because i dont want to deal with todays women doesnt mean i need a spirit to be cast out LOL

Have you heard of, "The anointing breaks the yoke of bondage."? Supernatural salvation? You can ask for a wife that satisfies you and mends you, rather than expecting you are already good.

Jesus' sacred blood can make your heart clean.

The Truth will set you free. God's fire refines. God gives not fear, but power, love and a sound mind. The fruit of the Spirit is … goodness, kindness, self control. Love the sinners, models, hate the sin. Care too much for them to use them. Hate abortion, behind the scenes. Think of parents, be considerate.

Give up your private internet access? Lay you bondage at the foot of the cross with violence. Cry out to God. Use your psychology to be wiser and overcome. Give your confession to God in private and open your understanding before God about a key area that needs God's knockout, as you progress in becoming holy. Align your will with God's in prayer and ask for consolidating grace. You may need a spirit to be cast out.

Joyce Meyer wrote "The Battlefield of the Mind". Learn your own patterns of thought and action. See Satan's attack methods. Humble yourself and acknowledge that you cannot learn from the tempting thing and always run from it. When it comes to that, think only in words and concepts. Also with a good understanding of the significance of abortion.

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Just because i dont want to deal with todays women doesnt mean i need a spirit to be cast out LOL

Yes seems a bit much, but you will be surprised, there are spirits in everyone, giving them suggestions from a vital point in them. So it makes it hard to stop doing something like looking at inappropriate contentography. Grace is more important than deliverance. Psychologically speaking inappropriate contentography lessens your drive and when you overcome it you may become very interested in honour and sanctity again, love certain types of women, focus on one, but fear this obvious other world of infidelity and worry about marriage.
Grace, deliverance and the psyche all make a difference. When inappropriate content is gone you could be revived inside and fall in love.

 

[Angelod]

thanks LOL XD

Im not sure if I can emotionally get better, I was diagnosed with Anti-Social Personality Disorder by a psych doctor last summer.

So I dont know how to feel that much. inappropriate content is addictive, I can give you guys my entire life story in a podcast I did a while ago, would you guys like to hear it?