Social Awkwardness

Bèlla said:

Okay, I’ll keep you to myself!

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Click to expand...

Lol.

When a group begins to be 3 or more (including myself) I start to become annoyed and more withdrawn lol.

One day I can be really easy-going, sociable and everything and the other, I won't say a word and be the most awkward of awkwards... I honestly cannot truly say why, anyway I am sure a very reserved person rather than a shy one. Can't say I'm scared of people (I'm only scared of extra-extroverted people, they leave me SO uncomfortable), most of the time I simply don't know what to say. I'm really not good at smalltalk, I like much more when people take the time to truly talk and let things happen SLOWLY. Unfortunately, most of the people like fast & loud talking and it lets me uncomfortable and so... awkward around them, yes.
I guess I'm already too old in my mind for getting fast or loud! I like way too much calm and restraint people, who take the time to explain why they are passionate about something or anything. I get so easily bored with people who show you their whole character way too fast, I really don't have anything to say in front of people like that. I stay totally mute.
That is what I would call my social awkwardness, but I don't dislike myself for that - after struggling as a teen, I finally got that it would follow me my entire life and I'm way too bored to denigrate myself for that. I won't be friends with anyone, but that's finally fine with me.

thehehe said:

I get so easily bored with people who show you their whole character way too fast, I really don't have anything to say in front of people like that. I stay totally mute.

Click to expand...

I think there's another form of social awkwardness in as you describe people who say too much, who give strangers their whole life story, talk fast and loud and often repeat themselves again and again. Sometimes they talk over others as if not really aware of the other person talking or wishing to speak. People who talk a lot without really saying much.

I know someone like that, from a previous church, in the beginning he could talk for ten minutes without a pause, loosing the thread of what he was saying. After communicating with this person by email for a while we became good friends and then he was able to tone it down just a bit to enable a two way conversation.

God Bless

Hi Bella. Yes true! My point was that social awkwardness comes in many shapes and forms. I think in certain ways and to a certain extent everyone is socially awkward. God Bless

This social awkwardness can even apply to our family members. if I have not seen one of them for a while things could be strange. It can hurt, at times. I would never try to do something like try to meet my father that I never knew even if the sane thing to do would be to try to have a relationship with him to comfort him for the loss of his wife and his brother that died. But it would be so weird to meet new family members.

It takes years of enduring commonplace social situations to create some kind of hybrid normalcy where anxiety is always there blending in with whatever kinds of experience I'm having even if you are used to and love such folks around you. It's so easy to unravel it, to live in seclusion and protection. but that makes it so much harder to go back out.

The internet is my normal social situation. That is what is not alien to me. There are very few people I feel comfortable around. Constant cringing inside is normal. I can feel my IQ lower in uncomfortable social situations. I can't always be fully conscious because something's clawing away at me.

I noticed that the body tries to form different subpersonalities which helps them able to be in the social situations, this is something that happens with most humans. That certain kind of mask that you must wear in public, and all our other kinds of mask though I'm not saying they are necessarily bad things. But it's so painful developing more of what's inside of me because everything comes out so awkwardly. I can't fully control the things that grow up inside of me which give me comfort. :/

I forgot to mention that I don't like to look at people and I don't like people to pay attention to me. What really sucks is when I try to look at them in the face and then I get painful jarring intrusive thoughts. And many women make me feel twice as anxious. I find it strange that every once in a while I come across some stranger that has something that makes me not feel anxiety. I guess they have extra kindness or something, it's a mystery to me.

I'm still awkward, I don't care what Bella says.

All awkward people unite!! But, please, let's do it in separate places and at different times. Thank you.

Bèlla said:

You shared a quote by Dinah Maria Craik on a thread of mine. It was posted at the exact moment I needed to hear it. I'd never heard it before and knew it was meant for my ears.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Click to expand...

Sorry im just seeing this now,I think you have me
mixed up with someone,Ive never even heard of Dinah Maria Craik.Im sorry to say this.