So tired of hurting!

[MadeFromScratch]

Hello everyone. This will be my first post in this section. I'm a new member here and spend time in the depression forum to try and encourage people.

However, today I need to talk to people who can relate to my problems.

I have a bone disease that effects my whole body but especially my back. I haven't been able to work for years. I can't do much of anything anymore. I lean back on the couch and that's where I am most of the time.

My husband usually does most of the cleaning but he's been away on business for quite a while now. I've been trying to keep the house up but I'm just not able to do it. It's dirty! And that bothers me an awful lot.

My life has come to a point where I break everything down. For instance, I have to cook something to eat, I have to take a shower, I have to get dressed, I have to feed the dogs and cats. I have to check the mail. I have to clean out the kitty pan. If I can get those things done then I'm doing good.

But what about all the hair on the floor? The dishes? Laundry? The lawn needs mowing. The plants need watering. The trash needs to be taken out. The bathroom needs to be cleaned. Those are the basics but I'm only able to do a couple of them each week. The rest just doesn't get done.

Beyond that - and these are the things hubby doesn't really do - the fridge needs to be cleaned. The cupboards need to be wiped. The windows are dirty. The front door needs to be cleaned. The house is dusty.

That's all the work stuff. What about fun? I want to spend time with my dogs outside, training and stuff. I want to take them to the dog park. I want to put mulch in my flower beds. I want to pull weeds. I want to create new beds and plant new plants. I want to go camping.

I hardly ever do the fun stuff because I can barely do the basics, like cook something to eat, take a shower, and all that.

I just hurt all the time! I don't want to sit here. I have so many things to do, but I can't do them. It's just got me down today.

I'm not asking for any advice or anything. I just wanted to be somewhere where people can relate to how I'm feeling. Someday I hope we will be able to afford to have someone come and do some work around here but in the meantime I try not to look at my dirty house and blame myself. It's not dirty because I'm lazy. I just can't do it. That's hard for me, living like a pig, but I can't beat myself up about it.

It's just one of those days. Thanks for letting me whine a little. My pill has kicked in and I'm going to go make something to eat now. Thanks for listening!

 

[LibertyChic]

Hey MadeFromScratch.....

I just now saw this thread. What sort of bone disease do you have?

I know it's frustrating not being able to do what you used to do. Is there any way you can talk to your pain management dr to see if there are any more options at all? I know that I tend to overdo things and then pay for it later. I have to constantly pace myself or I will end up in bed for two days. I'm learning my limits and to stop before I hurt, not after.

Feel free to post more if you like. We have a pretty slow posting, though friendly group here.

 

[SquareC]

This is the place to come for commiseration and people who understand and certainly don't mind being a sympathetic ear or just an e-hug. We all go through these things, we understand. LibertyChic and I both have Fibromyalgia. Mine is advanced, she was recently diagnosed. Welcome and I have the very same problem in my own house. And my husband is having a hard time understanding sometimes, but he still does his best to be supportive and can be very helpful in getting me through the worst of the pain. I just wish I could have 3 days of my old self, pre-fibro, and do a good Spring Cleaning!

 

[tryingtobeagain]

Hello,
I'm new here as well and have severe Fibromyalgia. I used to have the same problem but here's how I worked it out. First of all my husband is unbelievably supportive which has made a huge difference. He helps me to relax which makes me feel better and more able to do things period. Second, we broke down all the chores in the house onto a daily chore schedule. This way there are only a few things that need to be done each day to keep the house clean. Each day we kind of check in and see what things each of us can do. Somedays I will do more than him, and other days he does it all. There are specific things that he does exclusively because it's hard for me. Then if something comes up that we don't get the chores done that day, we commit to getting it done asap. I find that I'm more focused and relaxed abut it because I know what needs to be done and my husband and I get it done. I also know that if it dosen't get done for any reason then it's not the end of the world. Hope that helps and hope you are feeling good today.

 

[MadeFromScratch]

It's nice to remember that I'm not alone.

It's called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, type1 (the mild form). I'm going to make an appt with the pain mgmt doctor and see what he says. Probably "take more pills" which I don't want to do, but I might have to. I don't like being buzzed all the time. Makes me sound like an idiot!

My husband doesn't really understand but he's as supportive as he can be. He's a slob by nature so he doesn't care if the house isn't clean. I do care though! I sure would like to be able to afford a maid some day.

I'm up all hours of the day and night, no sleeping schedule at all, because I lay there and hurt and can't sleep. He doesn't understand that part really. He always wants me to go to bed with him but he's such a light sleeper. I toss and turn for hours so I don't bother anymore. No point keeping him up all night too. He helps me out in so many ways and I couldn't make it without him, so I'm thankful. I just get so tired of hurting all the dang time.

I have two large dogs and they both just decided to crawl up on my lap at the same time! I better go take them out to play.

Thanks for understanding, and I hope you all are having a good day too!!

 

[LibertyChic]

A pain management dr will be able to help, I'm sure. Sometimes there are more options than medications, but also, don't be afraid to take meds too. Especially if they help. Be sure to tell your Dr about not being on a sleep schedule, etc. That is huge and if he can fix that, it will probably go a long way toward helping ease your pain levels.

*hugs*

 

[1Newcreation]

Hello madefromscratch, glad to meet you. I think what many of us need is just an understanding ear. Just someone who can empathize with us. We don't necessarily want advice and definitely not sympathy. We don't need 'oh you poor thing' mentality.

I understand about pain, mine is probably different from yours, or anybody elses but we all have it here and live with it and so we can relate to one another. I understand about not being able to do house chores. Oh man I use to be a neat freak, my friend still teases me about it. Now, over the years I have had to let things go. So what if the floor hasn't been vacuumed for ever and a day. Or there's a pile of dishes sitting in the sink, or washing piled high to the ceiling. I use to iron all my clothes and hang them up. Are you kidding me. Now I hardly ever iron, unless its a special occasion. That's the least of my problems, not having a crisply ironed t-shirt. But yes the mess and dirt still bothers me, and I am fortunate that I am still able to do certain things.

If your house is really getting out of hand. Is it possible to have someone come over say once a month or every 2 months just so things don't get too bad.

Your hubby sounds like a really nice guy, I think even if they try and understand and do the best they can, And help even in a small way, its something to be thankful for. My hubby is the same, he doesn't really get it, but he's here and he makes me laugh.

How did your appointment go? I hope you are able to find a solution to getting better sleep.

I will say a prayer for you. God Bless

1newcreation

 

[SquareC]

Ah, doctor tomorrow. Finally I'll be able to refill my prescriptions, at least some of them, at least for a while. Probably won't be able to get but 2 or 3 of them but that's better than nothing, and I'm trying to set up 4 of them on the free meds programs from the manufacturers. That will only leave me 2 or 3 left that I'm not taking. Sigh. I feel like a pharmacy sometimes. But I found out lately, being out of meds, that it's better than suffering. There are too many things wrong with me to not be able to afford my meds.