So many blessing but want to leave them all behind

[WhatIsMyPath]

Hello all, I joined this forum because I feel like I am at a crossroads. The Bible encourages us to seek advice from other Christians so here I am.

I am currently 21 years old, a student at a good 4 year university (I am a junior), and currently working on my engineering degree. I have been saved 7 years, but always believed in God. As has always been the plan, when I graduate I will immediately seek a 100k/year job and live out the rest of my life. I have been blessed with a family that can support this goal and these dreams. My parents have provided all the resources for me to go to university etc. The problem is...this was never my dream or my goal.

I ended up here because even though I always hated school, I was always pretty good at it. Long story short, I have never really felt like I was making my own decisions. My dad has always been the one to call the shots about what life path I will take. When I dislike the course he has chosen, he forces me to do it. He forced me to go to college, forced me to go to this particular one, I have an engineering internship offer on the table, and he wants to force me to do that as well or he will cut me off...physically and financially from the family. To say there is also a severe lack of respect in the way he goes about this would be an understatement. He compares me to the people in his personal life, and career who were failures. I recently had a personal failure, which he not just blamed my friends for, but cursed them with the Lord's name. When I tell him this is not what I want, he tells me to just shutup.

I realize I have been more fortunate than most. God blessed me intellectually in a way that has always made my education effortless. But now, the topics I am studying are very advanced and challenging. I am reading math books that have more symbols than words. I hate my major, I dislike my professors, I in general, abhor college.

I have always wanted to be in the military...though I have never really told anyone this. It's ironic because they will probably treat me no differently than my father, the difference though is that they are not my father. I will have chosen that path. Strange as it may sound, the truth is that my heart has seemingly always been called to the battlefield. I think such a place is probably the darkest part of humanity. But among all the horror and despair, I know I will find Him. I am not afraid to die for Him. I have always wanted to fight for Him, not just live out my life working from 9-5 for someone else.
Ultimately, I don't know what I am going to do. Most people find such a choice to be absurd and beyond comprehension. I have always been told throughout my life to just be happy I am so blessed. But this other desire exists, though I often feel guilty about it. I want to honor my father and mother as the Lord commands. Changing course like this would surely hurt them...But, even though I am still young, I am not really a kid anymore. I have to find my own path, and I don't know how much longer I can just "suck it up". I am sure others have experienced stuff like this...should I make a change or just be more patient. Please share advice if you have any.

Thank you

 

[Goodbook]

Have you considered going on missions? That is the true battlefield.
Why join the military and be used by the enemy?

 

[saved24]

Praying that you will make the choice that God wants you to make. Do you feel peace about joining the military? then it may be God's choice for you. God bless.

 

[roylee1970]

I would think at least finishing up your 4 year degree so you have a chance to become an officer would be the wisest decision. Finishing the four year degree so you have better career options in the military would be for you. It could be a better compromise with your father also and give you a little more time to make sure it is what the Lord wishes for you. I wish you the best of luck with whatever it is you end up doing.

 

[parsley]

Talk with a recruiter. The military uses engineering skills -- civil, aviation, communications, mech, el... probably every type of engineering. Sometimes they contract work out to other companies, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Even if you don't want to do engineering, they can use you in technical areas.

I understand your plight with your program -- I have heard the same from many engineering students, and suspect the information demands are heavier than they were when our parents were in school. Even when workload is the same, the level of information in the world increases exponentially.

If it was just a matter of the major, you could switch into a Btech program that is more applied science, lower income and respect in the workplace but still challenging. Also there are degree programs that allow for multiple pathways, where you could tack on a concentration/minor in emergency mgt, tech writing, GIS, imaging, optics, nanotech, or other subject that support your prior coursework. Ask around.

When you take a cross-disciplinary route like that, you show initiative and specific interest in a relate topic, not just "my brain is fried."

I know many engineers, and most of them moan about the state of the field. Some are handling the work of four coworkers that were laid off, working in nearly-empty rooms. People might have told you that it's a white-picket-fence option, but no career has guarantees these days.

If you have this hunch for the military, you owe it to yourself to start asking questions. It could be that God is guiding you because you've been asking Him for help with several confining problems. Depending on your country, the mil training programs will probably help you cover tuition costs, and help you finish your degree -- and provide opportunities for work. The timing could fit very well.

This is the perfect time to seek out options and steer your course.

 

[tturt]

I'm not saying you can eliminate your dad impacting this but you know you need to forgive him so it will take those type feelings off the table in order to make a good decision.

Lastly, I'm always encouraged by this account and hope that you will be too. David and his men returned to camp and found their dwellings burnt and their wives and families gone. The guys who just fought with him talked of killing him. David wept until he couldn't and he was greatly distressed. But then he encouraged himself in the Lord. Next he ask Yahweh what to do. Don't you think that the order of this is significant? Since David was a warrior that would have been his mindset but he was completely open to Yahweh's instructions. Several life lessons here. (I Sam 30)

 

[dhh712]

Hello all, I joined this forum because I feel like I am at a crossroads. The Bible encourages us to seek advice from other Christians so here I am.

I am currently 21 years old, a student at a good 4 year university (I am a junior), and currently working on my engineering degree. I have been saved 7 years, but always believed in God. As has always been the plan, when I graduate I will immediately seek a 100k/year job and live out the rest of my life. I have been blessed with a family that can support this goal and these dreams. My parents have provided all the resources for me to go to university etc. The problem is...this was never my dream or my goal.

I ended up here because even though I always hated school, I was always pretty good at it. Long story short, I have never really felt like I was making my own decisions. My dad has always been the one to call the shots about what life path I will take. When I dislike the course he has chosen, he forces me to do it. He forced me to go to college, forced me to go to this particular one, I have an engineering internship offer on the table, and he wants to force me to do that as well or he will cut me off...physically and financially from the family. To say there is also a severe lack of respect in the way he goes about this would be an understatement. He compares me to the people in his personal life, and career who were failures. I recently had a personal failure, which he not just blamed my friends for, but cursed them with the Lord's name. When I tell him this is not what I want, he tells me to just shutup.

I realize I have been more fortunate than most. God blessed me intellectually in a way that has always made my education effortless. But now, the topics I am studying are very advanced and challenging. I am reading math books that have more symbols than words. I hate my major, I dislike my professors, I in general, abhor college.

I have always wanted to be in the military...though I have never really told anyone this. It's ironic because they will probably treat me no differently than my father, the difference though is that they are not my father. I will have chosen that path. Strange as it may sound, the truth is that my heart has seemingly always been called to the battlefield. I think such a place is probably the darkest part of humanity. But among all the horror and despair, I know I will find Him. I am not afraid to die for Him. I have always wanted to fight for Him, not just live out my life working from 9-5 for someone else.
Ultimately, I don't know what I am going to do. Most people find such a choice to be absurd and beyond comprehension. I have always been told throughout my life to just be happy I am so blessed. But this other desire exists, though I often feel guilty about it. I want to honor my father and mother as the Lord commands. Changing course like this would surely hurt them...But, even though I am still young, I am not really a kid anymore. I have to find my own path, and I don't know how much longer I can just "suck it up". I am sure others have experienced stuff like this...should I make a change or just be more patient. Please share advice if you have any.

Thank you

While I can't advise you on your particular decision, I will tell you that temporal blessings, those of physical comfort, absolutely do*not* bring happiness. Though I'm quite sure most Christians recognize this, so many worldly people will proclaim a man a fool who will forsake a comfortable life for one which is full of uncertainty. Though the heart is excessively deceptive, it will nevertheless undermine whatever happiness one has in their current situation if one is longing for something other than what they have (and not to mean longing for more than what they have, just for something different). The blessings which they do have then, will not be that which is fulfilling to them, even in a worldly way.

I hesitate to bring my own example into yours, but right now I am also faced with a somewhat similar situation: I have all the physical comfort I can want right now in this uncertain economic society, but I am not happy where I am; my heart yearns to be out east though my employment situation will never be as certain there as it is here. I don't know what I'll do yet, but am praying that God will guide me. I pray as well that He will guide you in your decision.

 

[Quasicentennial]

My movie-watching experience of military war type movies, especially Chinese or Japanese ones from past history, can be very interesting from an artistic view, where costume design, architecture design in building houses or empires become a pleasure to our emotions:.
Fighting for your country is definitely true bravery that is beyond winning a sports trophy or winning a lottery, as your name is printed on the eternal history wall of fame:.
What doesn't get mentioned are your experiences in another country, say China for example, you get to see how manufacturing has caught up with the western world with a growing middle class, while those in outer regions of the city remain poor class with poor or no infrastructure such as tapwater or sewerage treatment.:
Being Christian if in this country, my reaction is to advise each Chinese individual who is fluent with English - or uses some mobile device such as a tablet PC - to visit Biblegateway.com where the Word of God can be searched and explained with commentary .;'*';.
Rev 21:2

 

[Goodbook]

Funny, another poster is looking into the military as well.

Sometimes what our parents want for us and even what we want for ourselves is not what God wills for us. In my own experience working for the govt even getting paid for schooling while I chose that path was not really what He had in mind for me. The military is the govt ..and how can I say this, being a public servant is not always rosy. In fact I found it soul destroying and had to get out, even though it was a path I had chosen for myself and I had lots of ideals when I first went in. Prepare to have your faith challenged or suppressed if thats what you decide.

I'm just saying you need to surrender yourself to God and he will direct your paths. And I would encourage you to look into missions, because thats what he's really preparing us for. He will use all the experience we gained working for others for His glory.

 

[Autumnleaf]

You should quit school and enlist in the Marine Corps for a 4 year tour. After that things should be much clearer.

 

[Pal Handy]

What is wrong with continuing on your present course and seeking God and His direction?

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean that it is not good for you.

You mention no desire to go into ministry so what would be wrong
with supporting those who do want to serve God on mission fields with the money
you will make in a good career.

Our nature is one that wants to do the things we enjoy but the world is not
set up for such a lifestyle as most have to earn their bread by the sweat of their brow and hard work.

Doing something drastic like quitting school and joining the military because you blame your
father for directing you down a path of financial promise is not the wisest thing you could do.

If God called you into ministry then I would see your wanting to change
your course but joining the military to escape your hated studies seems
like trading one difficult situation for one far worse.

Just because you have been blessed with a future and many possibilities
is no reason to hit control/alt/del and reboot your future.

I have seen over and over again where a young man rebels against his father's
plan to give him every advantage and the end of that rebellion is regret at missing
out on the opportunities that come once in a lifetime.

When you are older, will you finally see that you were blessed but too immature to appreciate it?

Or will you be one of those who thinks very carefully before you leap.

 

[Kingsdotter]

You may not enjoy being in college, but it may be good for your future. I think you need to be patient with your father and continue in prayer. If you want to fight for God, try winning souls for Him. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loose his soul?" God's main focus is on the soul and not the body. You certainly will be in God's army if you win souls for Him, and you don't have to leave college to do that. God bless.

 

[parsley]

He compares me to the people in his personal life, and career who were failures.

He is thinking logically, not so much accusing you or insulting his friends. We all do that -- observe others' experiences and use that as examples to navigate our own lives more carefully.

When older people -- especially parents -- tell us things we often take it in a different way than they intended it, usually more personally. What he wants to say in pointing out failings is not the weakness in the person, but the weakness in the circumstances.

A career that promises much can let people down terribly.

He wants good things for you, and hopes that you can use the information to find good things. Life and careers bring a lot of troubles we don't deserve, unfair treatment, spiteful attacks, and underpaid contracts.

People used to tell me, "Do what you love, do what you're good at." It was considered greedy and materialistic to go for a career that makes money. Selling out. But then after working a while, I realized that we learn to love what we do. And that we usually can't afford to do what we love, unless we do some of what we don't love.

Your situation is somewhat different though -- you are considering leaving one hard profession for another. If you continue in engineering and your brain has hit its limit in absorbing symbols and calculations, there is no guarantee you will finish school. Enrolling in classes doesn't guarantee you will get credit for them after months of work.

The internship can be a great hands-on experience where you work with calculations and theories less, and apply what you know with teams of people. That seems like perfect timing, to take that on. And get paid for it!

But you really need to work through the resentments with your dad, so that your mind doesn't make decisions based on proving him wrong, or getting away from his control. Some people are just more controlling than others, and can be hard to live with. You don't need to consider him right, or wonderfully brilliant, or fair -- but do consider that he's giving you a place to stay and support, while you prepare to be independent. That might not feel like love, but you already know what to expect from him.

The faster you finish training yourself for a career, the faster you can move into a more independent place. Take charge, and love your life enough to pour yourself into your choices. Make it work for you.

 

[Inkachu]

You're a grown man at this point. You sound intelligent, thoughtful, and respectful. I also would like to point out that, though you would be tested and tried and pushed to the limits in the military, it would not be the same as the way your father treats you. The officers training you in the military would be doing so with positive motives: to train you, to strengthen you, to prepare you. Not to belittle you or demean you. That alone would probably make a great difference - to you - in how it feels.

I don't think there would be any shame in you quitting college and immediately going into the military.

My only request would be that you take some time to pray on it and listen for God's prompting in your heart. If HE doesn't want you to do it, then YOU don't want to do it. This is a major life decision that will impact you and your family for many years to come, and it shouldn't be done in haste. You don't seem like a hasty person to me, though.

Take some time. Think, pray, listen.

 

[Odetta]

As one other poster mentioned, it will enhance your military career to have a completed degree going into it. Having watched my brother struggle with low-pay and comparatively lower rank in the military because he did not have a college degree, I would caution you about quitting now to join the military.

 

[Billy Bayou]

You have great advice here. So sorry your father is so controlling.

Seems like God has given you the desire for the military. It's no coincidence that this is one way where you can avoid your fathers control and afford to do what you desire..

I'd thank God and go for it.

 

[WhatIsMyPath]

Ty all for your advice and encouragement. It has not fallen on deaf ears. Since posting this, I have prayed to God and looked to him for guidance. I believe he has clarified his will for me at this time. For now, I will finish college. One day, I may end up in the military, as this is for me a desire that goes beyond money, hardship or even my father. I have always thought that perhaps this route was my final calling, even when things were going well, although I will admit I think about it more when things aren't going well.

Thanks again,
God bless

 

[Autumnleaf]

Ty all for your advice and encouragement. It has not fallen on deaf ears. Since posting this, I have prayed to God and looked to him for guidance. I believe he has clarified his will for me at this time. For now, I will finish college. One day, I may end up in the military, as this is for me a desire that goes beyond money, hardship or even my father. I have always thought that perhaps this route was my final calling, even when things were going well, although I will admit I think about it more when things aren't going well.

Thanks again,
God bless

They're in the process of cutting the military. You might want to get in before the pare things back too much. The US Marines have combat engineers. They get cool toys to blow stuff up.

 

[Unix]

Don't join the military! Would becoming an engineer and then working part-time be the solution or are the studies the worst part? Over here You can't study part-time to become an engineer, which is the biggest reason I may never become one (the other reason being my age and that I'm taking completely other classes first for several years).

 

[Albion]

IMO, the one thing you ought not to do is quit college now and not finish your degree. Whether or not you enter the military, this would be a big mistake you would later regret. Yes, it's possible to complete an undergraduate degree after an absence, but all the other factors you've told us about don't make that a very promising prospect. You are too close to graduating to make that move.

But once the degree is in hand--and I understand that it's in a field that you aren't very interested in--you have a number of options open to you. The military is one, of course.

Personally, I feel that this is a bad time to enter the military if you are interested in combat. It looks like the military is being downsized and downgraded steadily under President Obama, and it is unlikely that the regular forces will be sent into any wars in the near future. After 2016, of course that could change, but we don't have much reason to think that's likely. Do you want to be part of a smaller, peacetime army somewhat as it was prior to WWII?

In short, and for several reasons, I'd advise not making a decision for a couple of years.