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To me that is only a part of the problem. It is focusing on part of the problem and therefore not really fixing the problem but rather minimizing the chances of it happening again.
Not denying it is mainly a male problem. However remember I was responding to your claim it was a male ONLY problem.
But you need to look at how it starts. If the person is looking at porn once a month when they first start that is the time to strike. That is the time to help them and teach them that it is disrespectful to their partner (and women in general). Why wait untill they are viewing it every day? Say for example the husband works 7am-3pm and the wife 9am-5pm. The husband might come across it by accident on the computer. (easily done) A month later he is bored and has an urge and remembers the site he stumbled across. He goes and looks at it again. Another month later the same thing. Then he starts looking once a week. Then he just gets into the habit of coming home from work, switching the computer on and going straight to these sites. How much more difficult is it going to be to stop then? Habits are hard to break. When people get into a routine they like to stick with it as it makes them feel comfortable. So sure they are looking at porn or they aren't however in an earlier post you said you were talking about the hardcore person. I was simply asking why don't we do something earlier when it would be less effort? The old saying a stitch in time saves nine applies here I would think.
Yes I have although not to the degree that you have.
and I wasn't weened off alcohol either.
So what kind of stuff are you agreeing with. Just that it hasn't been clear to me and I don't want to repeat it or emphasize it if you already agree!
My point was simply because so often in churches we seem to be afraid to talk about sex issues when people have a natural curiosity when they reach whatevver age they are when puberty hits then where do they go if they can't safely and healthily discuss it at church or home? They go to other sources like soft porn for advice. Often one will find that this soft porn magazines are written with the bias of the gender it is aimed at. So from reading that they get this idea that women are just objects and they don't respect women as a result.
We all tend to fall into the trap of making black and white statements on various topics. Usually on topics we are passionate about or have strong opinions about. the fact you can acknowledge that shows you really are listening to what other people have to say and that is something I find rare on CF.
Yeah we do have different perspectives. Depending on what you call an early age I would say I have known people who have not got into porn till they were older (17 yo). Yes there are people who get into it younger and it is easier these days to get into it younger. I'm over twice as old as the world wide web! So when I was growing up you couldn't just jump on a computer and access porn. The enviroment one grows up in would have a large effect on how easy it is to access at a young age. I know there were people in my year at school who had access to it at 12 years of age. I however didn't have access till later.
Firstly I'm not sure what you mean by the last paragraph here can you clarify it perhaps? I will agree that some people try to hide behind an addiction label and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They will get away with it if we allow them to. If on the other hand we say no it is your job and I will be here to support you while you make an effort then they can't hide behind excuses. If it isn't an addiction the same applies. They will still try and hide behind excuses and we should not let them. I guess the difference is it is easier to hide behind excuses if we call it an addiction.
This is true.
I agree there is a point where one needs to walk away. Having said that divorce should be the step after walking away. That is physically removing yourself from the situation does not have to include divorce. There should still be a willingness to work through the issue if the person with the problem is willing. If not divorce is the next step.
I agree with pretty much everything you've said.
I'm not sure....
