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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
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ElElena
Well-Known Member
Hardest thing I ever went through and it has a lasting affect.
I have a sister, a son, many friends, and other family members that have died and many were so young. My husband was so young. The baby was only a day old, my sis in her 20s, the list goes on but losing my spouse was the most difficult to say the least.
Through it all the Lord has kept me in His care.
I have a sister, a son, many friends, and other family members that have died and many were so young. My husband was so young. The baby was only a day old, my sis in her 20s, the list goes on but losing my spouse was the most difficult to say the least.
Through it all the Lord has kept me in His care.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Isn't that all part of healing...talking about it...
You should feel safe to share here - that's what we all are here for to listen and to encourage...
I'm very sorry for your loss...I know that the Lord is continuing to heal heart and hold you in His arms...
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ElElena
Well-Known Member
Thanks again.
Funny thing is, I got on this site when I did a search for widow/widower support Christian type support. I found a thread about a widow sharing what she was going through. Wanting to reach out to her got me on this site.
Now people are reaching out to me at times.
Funny thing is, I got on this site when I did a search for widow/widower support Christian type support. I found a thread about a widow sharing what she was going through. Wanting to reach out to her got me on this site.
Now people are reaching out to me at times.
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ElElena
Well-Known Member
You know I prob. moved because of the pain. Just talking about it today has finally helped me realize how painful it is to get all those memories again.
I won't be a woe is me person, though. GOD IS IN CONTROL. God does not make mistakes. He has good plans for all of us. He knows what he is doing.
I love the Lord. He has not failed me or forsaken me.
Bless the Lord. O my soul and forget none of his benefits.
The Lord is good and his mercy endures forever.
I will say of the Lord; He is my refuge and my fortress. In Him I will trust.
I won't be a woe is me person, though. GOD IS IN CONTROL. God does not make mistakes. He has good plans for all of us. He knows what he is doing.
I love the Lord. He has not failed me or forsaken me.
Bless the Lord. O my soul and forget none of his benefits.
The Lord is good and his mercy endures forever.
I will say of the Lord; He is my refuge and my fortress. In Him I will trust.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
What about blocking the e-mail address from your outlook? It won't stop them from being sent to you but it'll stop you from receiving them...
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Elena - I'm sorry that it is so painful for you to remember. I hope that the Lord eases that pain for you over time. Have you done any grief counseling?
I might have shared this somewhere else on this forum, but I went to a women's retreat in Jan 2006 and the topic of the weekend was "Crossroads". We talked about how a major life event can occur - like death, divorce, etc. - that has the potential to derail us. That we need to continuously pray for God's healing and guidance so that we don't get "stuck" in the crossroad b/c we are lost and don't know which way to turn.
At the time, I remember wondering why I was at the retreat. I didn't have any point of reference in my life that I could apply it to. I prayed that God would show me how I was supposed to apply what I was learning to my life. It was exactly 1 week later that I separated from my husband. Keeping the crossroads analogy as part of my focus has helped me push myself through the healing process.
I know my experience is not yours, but I hope you are able to keep pushing yourself through the healing process and don't get stuck in the crossroad. It's so easy to feel so lost when you're entire world gets turned upside down. We just have to remember that we are not the navigator.
I might have shared this somewhere else on this forum, but I went to a women's retreat in Jan 2006 and the topic of the weekend was "Crossroads". We talked about how a major life event can occur - like death, divorce, etc. - that has the potential to derail us. That we need to continuously pray for God's healing and guidance so that we don't get "stuck" in the crossroad b/c we are lost and don't know which way to turn.
At the time, I remember wondering why I was at the retreat. I didn't have any point of reference in my life that I could apply it to. I prayed that God would show me how I was supposed to apply what I was learning to my life. It was exactly 1 week later that I separated from my husband. Keeping the crossroads analogy as part of my focus has helped me push myself through the healing process.
I know my experience is not yours, but I hope you are able to keep pushing yourself through the healing process and don't get stuck in the crossroad. It's so easy to feel so lost when you're entire world gets turned upside down. We just have to remember that we are not the navigator.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Excellent post!
I think there are times when it's ok to stand at the crossroad and wait for the Lord to give you direction on which way to go but the risk in that is getting stuck in that place and never moving at all...that's what we can't do! We can't get so afraid to move forward and make a mistake that we don't move at all...
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ElElena
Well-Known Member
Thanks so much.
I knew there must be a reason that a fab40s gal kept visiting a spot where most of the posters were younger than her.
I especially liked reading this part:
I might have shared this somewhere else on this forum, but I went to a women's retreat in Jan 2006 and the topic of the weekend was "Crossroads". We talked about how a major life event can occur - like death, divorce, etc. - that has the potential to derail us. That we need to continuously pray for God's healing and guidance so that we dont' get "stuck" in the crossroad b/c we are lost and don't know which way to turn.
EVen though this is kind of what has happened to me I know the Lord has been helping me. Would you believe that part of my ministry has been to help people who have lost loved ones? It may be hard to tell because of my own low points. It is really what God had me involved in for a very long time. That is how I met so many that had loved ones die before my husband died.
Anyway... since his death was the hardest I went through I believe the feeling or getting lost thing has been a continuous battle. There are many reasons for this battle and God is helping me.
I know when I am tired &/or not feeling well the battle is harder. I have fought this pleurisy and been on meds for it for a while now. Having to take antibiotics again has helped get rid of the sore throat part that needed dealt with but the meds themselves can give upset stomach and headaches. All I'm trying to say is being this worn physically helps me be weaker in areas that I am usually strong.
AND even though there is a difference between losing a spouse via divorce rather than death I am certain that it is very painful and it had to be very difficult for you, as well. It is death to a relationship. You have suffered your own painful problems. I am so sorry for what you and so many others have gone through.
Thanks for reaching out to me. I do appreciate the kind words and support. I will pray about and ponder all I've taken in when I read your post. If I can ever do anything for you while we share this forum please let me know.
I am also glad to see that God prepared you for the events that took place in your life. He did a lot of preparation in our lives. Before our son died my husband and I both had various things put before us through material we saw on tv, or things we read, or from things said at church that helped prepare us for that event, too. GOD IS SO WONDERFUL. GOD MAKES HIS PRESENCE KNOWN IN THESE TRYING TIMES.
I WILL BLESS THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART. I WILL EVER PRAISE HIS NAME. HE IS WORTHY OF ALL OUR PRAISE. BLESS THE LORD.
I knew there must be a reason that a fab40s gal kept visiting a spot where most of the posters were younger than her.
I especially liked reading this part:
I might have shared this somewhere else on this forum, but I went to a women's retreat in Jan 2006 and the topic of the weekend was "Crossroads". We talked about how a major life event can occur - like death, divorce, etc. - that has the potential to derail us. That we need to continuously pray for God's healing and guidance so that we dont' get "stuck" in the crossroad b/c we are lost and don't know which way to turn.
EVen though this is kind of what has happened to me I know the Lord has been helping me. Would you believe that part of my ministry has been to help people who have lost loved ones? It may be hard to tell because of my own low points. It is really what God had me involved in for a very long time. That is how I met so many that had loved ones die before my husband died.
Anyway... since his death was the hardest I went through I believe the feeling or getting lost thing has been a continuous battle. There are many reasons for this battle and God is helping me.
I know when I am tired &/or not feeling well the battle is harder. I have fought this pleurisy and been on meds for it for a while now. Having to take antibiotics again has helped get rid of the sore throat part that needed dealt with but the meds themselves can give upset stomach and headaches. All I'm trying to say is being this worn physically helps me be weaker in areas that I am usually strong.
AND even though there is a difference between losing a spouse via divorce rather than death I am certain that it is very painful and it had to be very difficult for you, as well. It is death to a relationship. You have suffered your own painful problems. I am so sorry for what you and so many others have gone through.
Thanks for reaching out to me. I do appreciate the kind words and support. I will pray about and ponder all I've taken in when I read your post. If I can ever do anything for you while we share this forum please let me know.
I am also glad to see that God prepared you for the events that took place in your life. He did a lot of preparation in our lives. Before our son died my husband and I both had various things put before us through material we saw on tv, or things we read, or from things said at church that helped prepare us for that event, too. GOD IS SO WONDERFUL. GOD MAKES HIS PRESENCE KNOWN IN THESE TRYING TIMES.
I WILL BLESS THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART. I WILL EVER PRAISE HIS NAME. HE IS WORTHY OF ALL OUR PRAISE. BLESS THE LORD.
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memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
ElElena,
you and I have been through the same experience so I know what you are going thru too. (We've shared a little before). After my husband died a bunch of people I knew were getting separated and divorced and I remember thinking how can they do that? But I also thought IF my husband was alive and we went through a divorce, for ME that would almost be worse, because I couldn't stand to see him with someone else and we would have to because we have kids (even though he was married twice before me). So I feel for you Flnativegrl because it's gotta be hard with the kids and all. You all seem pretty strong in your faith though, like myself, so looks like God is taking care of all of us, and at least we have this site too huh?
On another note, I would like to add that my husband years ago wanted to be in the music business and although we are from California orignally, he didn't want to try the LA scene so we thought we would try the East coast. We thought we were going to live in West Palm Beach (until we got there). We ended up living in Fort Worth, I used to work in Boyton Beach, and I have a friend that lives on the Gulf side on Pine Island. Just and FYI for ya'll
memoriesbymichelle
you and I have been through the same experience so I know what you are going thru too. (We've shared a little before). After my husband died a bunch of people I knew were getting separated and divorced and I remember thinking how can they do that? But I also thought IF my husband was alive and we went through a divorce, for ME that would almost be worse, because I couldn't stand to see him with someone else and we would have to because we have kids (even though he was married twice before me). So I feel for you Flnativegrl because it's gotta be hard with the kids and all. You all seem pretty strong in your faith though, like myself, so looks like God is taking care of all of us, and at least we have this site too huh?
On another note, I would like to add that my husband years ago wanted to be in the music business and although we are from California orignally, he didn't want to try the LA scene so we thought we would try the East coast. We thought we were going to live in West Palm Beach (until we got there). We ended up living in Fort Worth, I used to work in Boyton Beach, and I have a friend that lives on the Gulf side on Pine Island. Just and FYI for ya'll
memoriesbymichelle
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I tried posting this last night, but got knocked off the site.ElElena,
you and I have been through the same experience so I know what you are going thru too. (We've shared a little before). After my husband died a bunch of people I knew were getting separated and divorced and I remember thinking how can they do that? But I also thought IF my husband was alive and we went through a divorce, for ME that would almost be worse, because I couldn't stand to see him with someone else and we would have to because we have kids (even though he was married twice before me). So I feel for you Flnativegrl because it's gotta be hard with the kids and all. You all seem pretty strong in your faith though, like myself, so looks like God is taking care of all of us, and at least we have this site too huh?
On another note, I would like to add that my husband years ago wanted to be in the music business and although we are from California orignally, he didn't want to try the LA scene so we thought we would try the East coast. We thought we were going to live in West Palm Beach (until we got there). We ended up living in Fort Worth, I used to work in Boyton Beach, and I have a friend that lives on the Gulf side on Pine Island. Just and FYI for ya'll
memoriesbymichelle
I used to LIVE at the Boynton Beach mall when I was in high school!
And, did you mean that you lived in Lake Worth (not Fort Worth)? I lived in Lake Worth and also frequented the Lake Worth beach - that's where all the surfers went...hehe.
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ElElena
Well-Known Member
NO Lake Worth for me--- as far as living goes -- Prob. went through more spots than I could recall.
My husband's job had us all over FL.
Hey,,,,,,, I saw videos of FL life and loved it. Timing was so perfect. Because I spilled feelings out on here I was able to enjoy the videos without sadness.
The prayers helped, too. I feel certain of that.
Perfect timing because I am going to FL soon.
The plan is to enjoy a vacation there, see some family members having a small fam. reunion, and go to the beach, and some favored spots.
I am happy to go there now.
I am feeling better. The pleurisy/pnemonia seems to be a thing of the past. I am ready for FL.
My husband's job had us all over FL.
Hey,,,,,,, I saw videos of FL life and loved it. Timing was so perfect. Because I spilled feelings out on here I was able to enjoy the videos without sadness.
The prayers helped, too. I feel certain of that.
Perfect timing because I am going to FL soon.
The plan is to enjoy a vacation there, see some family members having a small fam. reunion, and go to the beach, and some favored spots.
I am happy to go there now.
I am feeling better. The pleurisy/pnemonia seems to be a thing of the past. I am ready for FL.
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