Sins and Illness

[Bridgida]

In the book, A Course In Miracle, there it is written, that when we feel stressed, or abused. We start to think about it, in order to understand the situation. Unfortunately if yuou are a non-Christian you come sometimes to unhealthy conclutions. This wrong thinking can lead you into the illness, any illness.
The big question is how to reverse it then.

We think we can do with our heads what we want, but need to learn to control it. I have to.
Just now I try it out.
I felt bad a bit, was bored ordered things to decorate the flat, without asking. Partly with my money and with the money of my partner.
One, a mirrow arrived broken and one of my foot is swollen and hurt, for some days now.
That never happened before.

 

[Bridgida]

It is worth to go to analyse yourself in order to stay healthy and of course on the right track.

Of course I am challenged. I have a partner who is controling, and always says no. When ever I tell him that we need things for our home, or I want a dress for me he says no!

 

[Bridgida]

My foot is healing because I spend £60 for new working shoes.
I will bring the staff I bought back today. What you think I will do with the money? Use it for myself or put it onto my partners bank account?

 

[Bridgida]

Work was heavy and I got into a lot of pain. Went to the doctor and he said it might be gout. So he send me off to the hospital for blood test and x-ray.

Sometimes in the last 2 weeks the pain was really bad. I tried to heal me with chocolate and yoga music, plus Ibuprofen of course. It all worked.

I have here at home the book, A Course In Miracles and Louse Hay's book of Essential Collection. Going to read them.

Another thing what happened was that I did not had my Anti-depressant and my body reacts with pain and flu like symptoms when I have a brake with one of the medications.

 

[Bridgida]

I watch a film about Christian Dior and my pain dimineshes, I feel my strength coming back. I can get up faster and back to bed, faster.
I have to wake up and have to tell my partner, that I might want a separation. I don't need his histeria, oppression and scaremongering.
I have to follow my dreams.
The first time, he destroyed it.
The second time I heared the male voices.
He is a bad wolf?

I want to study film or fashion, and I am already 50. I work hard, but it is not enough when I would be alone.

Sleeping for me is protection, or being dizzy, or weak.

 

[Bridgida]

I went to a Catholic church after work, for confession.
I wasn't with my mother in the last 10 years of her live. I paid for the funeral, but I did not visit her or looked after her. Ok I had some excuses, like I had a young child to look after.
I told the priest about my mother, and it was a major sin. Espechially with the Abifily it was a torment. I was always thinking about her and was feeling guilty.
I told him her things she did against us kids and he said that is this about the sins of others? And I said no, it is about my sin, I just had to defend myself in case he did not let me go.
He forgave me and I went out smiling. Since then a mealstone has been lifted from my shoulders. And I have once more found a new doctor. I am not healthy, but I have a new doctor and that is in the church, it is at the end God.
It is now 2 weeks and I still feel good about myself. The guild is gone.
It really shows that mental torment, created through bullying, some crazy mothers, or violence, borders into our spiritual blueprint. It puts us into danger, great danger! And it makes us very ill so that we can get any illness the body can develope. From physical pain to Schizophrenia.
I stoped my 5mg Abifily, as I look better without it. If I take it my stomach and face is bloated and I can't make any photo for my website. Yes I had withdrawal symptoms, such as headace, stomac acing, and I can't remember what else. I took the tablet for 2 days, and straight away I felt better, but I was bloated.
I thought I should see less of demon faces which are like mostly normal human faces on carpets, but they are just a bit less in numbers. So I plan to get into a monastry for healing one day. I find it is actually very difficult to get a priest for counselling. I want Christian counselling, but I haven't found anyone. I had visions of Christ, I can see demon faces on carpeds and on other people, and there are priests who had no visions what so ever.

Fact is what I have perhaps discovered is, that sins towards you and you committing your own sins for any reason, creates all sorts of mental anguish. I get the word mental storm into my head. It develops into mental or physical illnesss and I tell for years stop taking all the medication and work spiritually on yourself. With some doing it, yet there are people, very ill people who are so stubborn. They rather take the pain and swollow all their tablets. And never get better and are so rude.

So sins create mental storm in your body and it hurts badly. To get rid of this strom is through Christ. The is the only way up.