"Singleness is a gift" is actually a lie?

[christiansoccerplayer]

If you "burn with passion", singleness is torture. Unilaterally declaring it a gift is an insult to those burning for marriage who haven't found the person to resolve the issue.

Great take on the subject.

 

[DragonFox91]

My take on this matter is that singleness can be a blessing but the reasons have nothing to do with the world, nor material things. It is all spiritual. If someone's heart is still set on this world, material things, desires of the flesh, vanity, pride of life then singleness can be a curse. But if someone's heart is set on eternity, it can be a huge blessing and could save you huge amount of trouble otherwise.

You learn you're really his eternal bride already. You're just waiting for the day it's in full

 

[timewerx]

You learn you're really his eternal bride already. You're just waiting for the day it's in full

Jesus had another supernatural gift, not typically (or never acknowledged) that is the ability to change in form or appearance. This is implicated a couple of times in the Bible when He supernaturally slipped through an angry mob, flew over the water, seized by authorities, and post-resurrection encounters where people failed to recognize a supposedly famous (or infamous) person in those times.

Non-canon scriptures explicitly stated this ability as witnessed by His disciples, including Christ's ability to physically morph into a child or an old man, change skin color, etc.

Ironically, I've also encountered Jesus in many different appearances in my dreams, BEFORE, I became aware of His polymorphic ability. I saw Jesus as a Caucasian child, Sasquatch (big foot), Native American man, pre-teen Asian girl, a giant spider that polymorphed into a Japanese mother in the same dream (her children also polymorphed between human children and giant spiders), Caucasian man, old hermit, a tall Polynesian or African/Egyptian woman, and a very alien and scary-looking land-dwelling octopus who also polymorphed into an Eastern European woman with red hair.

The dream with the tall Polynesian woman form of Jesus told me that she is my wife and she did not appear in my dream to seduce me but to assign me a few tasks for me to accomplish with her as my "officer in command". It's a formal meeting and we talked mostly about the things I needed to do which are entirely of practical nature. Nothing to do with mainstream religious activities but serves the Will of God.

It's a "dream series". Same dream divided over few nights with the Earth ending up as a conquered planet like in horror-sci-fi movies. The last part is a nightmare with almost everyone gone. Only very few people left. I don't know where the invaders took the rest of the people but incredibly, they left most of the houses, buildings, and stuff intact. There's still electricity and water.

I really had good chances to get married in my twenties but every opportunity I had got sabotaged, almost felt like I'm cursed. Looking at myself now, it's starting to look like it all happened for a reason.

 

[Citanul]

Ohhhh yes! Excellent observation! & then you learn that the pastor got married by their mid 20s, & all their kids got married by their mid 20s, & they're hoping their grandkids will get married by their mid 20s. It's so hypocritical.

In regards to OP that's what I find most hypocrtiical about it. They never even went thru a real stage of singleness. They likely dated a bunch growing up & tied the knot before 25.

That's also the reason why churches often don't know what to do with single people. It's not as though the leadership are and fault for having married at that age, but it does mean that it's difficult for them to relate to singles, especially older ones.

 

[DragonFox91]

That's also the reason why churches often don't know what to do with single people. It's not as though the leadership are and fault for having married at that age, but it does mean that it's difficult for them to relate to singles, especially older ones.

The church I go to has a good singles group (that also has a few marrieds) (I'm praying one will happen there someday). They're out there if you're willing to look. But remember the Bible says 'seek first the kingdom of God', it's not about getting married

It's no doubt a problem tho at most churches.

 

[bigstinky]

I came across a post on social media that was written by a Christian dating website:


View attachment 349091


What do you think of the post? Do you agree or disagree with what they're saying? Do you have a different experience?


Even though the post is mainly geared towards single men, I think single women can agree to it and relate to it also. I had a friend years ago that was single but wanted to be married. People in the church kept telling her that "God wanted her to be single" but she didn't feel that way about herself. She eventually found a Christian man (that went to a different church) and married him. A church I used to go to had a problem with allowing a singles class, even though there were older adults volunteering to lead the class. The church leaders' response was "we have more important things to focus on".

I used to be a feminist (except I have always been pro-life). I'm not anymore and haven't been for awhile. When I look back, the only option the schools and my mom promoted was for me to go to college and be whatever I wanted to be. That was my only guidance - zero guidance about how I need to talk to God about my future and how to live my life. And it ended up being a disaster. I will admit that I am not happy with my life right now. I do want a husband; I hate being single most days. I do not want to work long hours for a liberal corporation anymore that promotes sinful things and makes irrational business decisions.

Too long, didn't read. But it can be a gift if you're not in the right state to start a courtship yet. If you're a young man you show focus on growing closer to our Lord and eliminating the vices and habitual sins that plague your life. Also work on preparing yourself to be a husband and a provider, you'll need to be the spiritual head of your family and also defend them from any physical harm that may come their way. No need to be worrying about dating if you're not ready to get married yet. Give it time and have fun growing in your faith and educating and preparing yourself for now.

 

[timewerx]

Too long, didn't read. But it can be a gift if you're not in the right state to start a courtship yet. If you're a young man you show focus on growing closer to our Lord and eliminating the vices and habitual sins that plague your life. Also work on preparing yourself to be a husband and a provider, you'll need to be the spiritual head of your family and also defend them from any physical harm that may come their way. No need to be worrying about dating if you're not ready to get married yet. Give it time and have fun growing in your faith and educating and preparing yourself for now.

I knew so many who had relationships in college and married early. They turned out just fine.

If you're concerned about worldly success, what I found to be greatest factor to success is your ability to make friends and sustain long term close friendships with people who are successful themselves who does not commit adultery, does not gamble away their money, does not waste their money on vices, does not waste money on vanity, and avoids being in debt.

No matter how well you did in school, graduated with honors, did everything right, there's always the chance, something goes terribly wrong. Even big companies fold. People get sick and lose the ability to think clearly. That's what good friends are for, they'll have your back. Even Jesus articulated the importance of friendships.

Many don't realize this because they've always had friends and take things for granted.

I can clearly see the importance of having good friends because I don't have any. Ironic, isn't it? When we lack something, the importance of something we lack becomes greatly magnified and I can see how it played a huge role in other people's success. It's how things like physical blindness will magnify your remaining senses that are working

Anyway, that is my advice on worldly success.

Spiritual growth is another thing entirely. To grow spiritually, you need to be "broken in the spirit" (God loves a broken spirit). It doesn't necessarily mean you're broke financially. It means having nothing to be proud of as a fact (not because you manipulated your mind not to be proud - false humility). Accepted the fate of losing entitlement to everything. This makes you willing to seek the Lord, to seek justice even if it means denying yourself of comfort or even food or even safety. Some secretive religions believe in the same philosophy concerning the spiritual reality.

In case of spiritual growth, being single is advantageous. It is of exceptionally rare opportunity for a person broken in spirit will meet another person broken in spirit because everyone in the world today wants to find things to do that will them proud of themselves. Everyone wants to be entitled to something. Nobody wants to be broken in spirit. Nobody wants to entertain the possibility they have absolutely nothing to be proud of.

 

[DragonFox91]

We talk about happily-married Christians trying to downplay marriage to singles who want to be married, but I’ve seen the opposite problem too. Some churches teach if you’re not married, you’re living selfishly.

I suppose neither is wrong, marriage has problems of its own, & a lot of singles are turned away by the responsibilities required, but marriage is also desirable & God has created some people to be single & single has its own responsibilities.

 

[Citanul]

Some churches teach if you’re not married, you’re living selfishly.

Which is completely irresponsible. Most people aren't single because they don't want to be married, they're single because they haven't been able to find a spouse for whatever reason. Criticising them for that is not something a church should be doing.

And if a church genuinely believes that everybody should be married then they need to make their actions match their words and be actively trying to help people find partners. But I doubt any churches who toss out that selfish line are doing that.

 

[RileyG]

Neither marriage nor singleness is a gift.

To be content with the state you are in is a gift. You can be happy or unhappy in both states.

I agree.

 

[timewerx]

Some churches teach if you’re not married, you’re living selfishly.

Must be cultist churches because the Bible says the opposite about being single.

 

[Darktriad]

I pray to god for the biology to turn off.

And God has yet to turn the light switch off. So it flickers like a pest at night and requires sleeping pills so the darkness of the internet does not kidnap me.

It's just lately they haven't worked. So time to get some elephant tranquilizer.

 

[Saucy]

Yeah, I don't take singleness to be a gift and I don't see such a thing promoted in scripture. Most of the people in the Bible are blessed with a spouse, even if all of them haven't been faithful. Marriage has always been an important part of God's plan for men and women. This is probably the first time in history when there's an abundance of 30 and 40 year olds who.are single for whatever reason. Literally, most of the people I know in my age group are not married, but they desire to be. I still have hope to find someone to serve God with, marry, and start a family. I don't consider singleness a gift at all when I have all the same desires for intimacy and have phases when I feel lonely.

 

[Michu]

Wherein the bible does it promote celibacy?

When I was younger and not a christian I remember having this conversation with myself in my head. I was in a quite difficult situation and wasn't very happy, I was a mess more or less. I was considering dating because I thought having a partner by my side would make things atleast abit better in an quite difficult period in my life. I also knew that in that state of mind I would attract who I would attract, possibly a girl with her own problems. And I could see how in such relationship that one could be like an anchor for the other to rise up from that place. Not as much of a reason to work on yourself.

Now the reason I share this is because I don't view it any different today as a believer, you might meet someone further down your path of faith, as a stronger and a way more capable partner to the other, and he or she to you. And when you do finally meet that person I don't think you would want to change a thing of your past with regards to being single.

Some meet young, some meet abit later in life, be patient and work on yourself! It may be for the better.

 

[timewerx]

Now the reason I share this is because I don't view it any different today as a believer, you might meet someone further down your path of faith, as a stronger and a way more capable partner to the other, and he or she to you. And when you do finally meet that person I don't think you would want to change a thing of your past with regards to being single.

Some meet young, some meet abit later in life, be patient and work on yourself! It may be for the better.

How would you know if you're still single?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Yeah, I don't take singleness to be a gift and I don't see such a thing promoted in scripture. Most of the people in the Bible are blessed with a spouse, even if all of them haven't been faithful. Marriage has always been an important part of God's plan for men and women. This is probably the first time in history when there's an abundance of 30 and 40 year olds who.are single for whatever reason. Literally, most of the people I know in my age group are not married, but they desire to be. I still have hope to find someone to serve God with, marry, and start a family. I don't consider singleness a gift at all when I have all the same desires for intimacy and have phases when I feel lonely.

With all this desire to be married, my mom linked me to this and she knows how I would like to have a lady in my life, but it could be miserable for me if I wind up with the wrong person.

 

[bèlla]

When I was younger and not a christian I remember having this conversation with myself in my head. I was in a quite difficult situation and wasn't very happy, I was a mess more or less. I was considering dating because I thought having a partner by my side would make things atleast abit better in an quite difficult period in my life. I also knew that in that state of mind I would attract who I would attract, possibly a girl with her own problems. And I could see how in such relationship that one could be like an anchor for the other to rise up from that place. Not as much of a reason to work on yourself.

When you put in the work and you're in a better place one of the things you usually acknowledge is where you would have been if things worked out as you'd hoped. You see people and situations in a different light and many times you're glad it didn't happen or the obstacle prevented a bigger mistake.

Now the reason I share this is because I don't view it any different today as a believer, you might meet someone further down your path of faith, as a stronger and a way more capable partner to the other, and he or she to you. And when you do finally meet that person I don't think you would want to change a thing of your past with regards to being single.

I've never regretted the fact I didn't marry younger. I wasn't in that headspace. I wanted to date or have a long-term relationship and my selections reflected that. But when that changed my priorities shifted as did the men I attracted. It moved in sync. By that time I knew myself and what I wanted.

I wasn't mired by should's or emotions or the concept of singleness. Nor was it my meditation. I wasn't focused on hardships either. My lone concern was finding the one I sought and being what he needed in return. I didn't fill my head with negativity and problems. That's why I never felt hopeless. I fed the result I wanted and ignored the rest.

My daughter followed suit. She's nurturing her femininity and learning how to be a godly wife and mother. We don't talk about singleness or what's happening in the dating market. Everything we discuss pertains to the goal of seeing her settled and what she needs to do to prepare for that season. We're focused on the results. Not the impediments to that state.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

With all this desire to be married, my mom linked me to this and she knows how I would like to have a lady in my life, but it could be miserable for me if I wind up with the wrong person.

That's an old message. I saw it a few years ago. Possibly close to when he did it. Here's the transcript.

~bella

 

[Palmfever]

Neither marriage nor singleness is a gift.

To be content with the state you are in is a gift. You can be happy or unhappy in both states.

I think they both can be if we are settled in our mind.
Mat, 19:11
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. [12] For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

 

[Purge187]

As someone who excelled in psychology, I get the impression that many of the Christian leaders who claim that singleness is a gift were themselves in a period of unwanted and painful extended singleness and subconsciously - or not-so-subconsciously - desire for others to be as well.

Misery loves company.