Single Mom

[HisW0rd]

I am going to try to get you all facts. I am 27 my son is 18 months, his father will probably never be in his life, he is too much drama...

Well I am in Texas going to North Carolina in less than a month. I notice that every where I go there is drama, confusion, people talking behind my back, people telling others I am not a real Christian, and etc. I just found this out and I find out its only because of facebook. LOL. I said on there that God called me to love my child's father even after all the pain and hurt! LOL and it spread like wildfire and people started saying I was spreading my business? HUH? How is that business, the most I would hope is they pray for him to come to know the Lord but I really didn't find it business. I did say some mean things honestly! I did it to show those people that I wanted them out my life because many times when I tried showing and telling my half brother and sisters I wasn't interested only because they treat me like they dont like me.

So Now I am going to NC. I am go to Salvatian Army Shelter for Women and Children and I am terrified. I keep telling myself to go, I keep telling myself to stay. Then I think about staying and God wanting me to be the woman He wants. Then I think about all those time when I was really strong in Gods spirit and all the conflict that happened for no reason because I dont be overwhelming like my sisters and beat the bible down someones throat. I would just see something and I would be like its not good and it needs to change for spiritual reason since I will be living them too. Which reminds, God wants me to life a certain lifestyle I never met anyone who strive to life like that.

Men hate dating me now! LOL! I tell them they cant meet my son, they definitely can not come to my home, and then if I decide to date. I would be spending $70 to $100 for myself just to go! That is a lot of money and ridiculous! So the whole friendship over the phone only can last so long so lol, not going to date! I get a better understand to why some men trap women!

SO people are saying you can't do ths alone. WHAT? Why all I need is a car, job, home, and decent childcare for 6 months and I am set. I feel like always going to others depending on them is not healthy. I need to do this on my own but its been a battle to go or not to go.

My family have not shown me any stability in any area of their lives. I do not want to be like that anymore. I do not want my son around people who will smile in his face but talk bad about him when he is not around. We all have done it I am sure atleast once out of anger or something, the thing is its not my personailty. Its like being around my family I am in this down spiral of craziness and they justify their actions by the Word and by what they have. Because they have more than me, I am not doing anything in my life? IDK...I thought I was dedicating my love and time to my son? I want to be with him until he is 5 years old for spiritual reason and MORE (LORD THAT IS ANOTHER THREAD), and when I leave..my goal will to get us a comfortable loving christian home, to take care of children, and to teach my son and the children. Why is that not good enough?

I am leaving because someone always have something to say about me and I figure for my sanity and peace and their sanity I will leave!

I never understood people who will say you have a good heart, you are a giver and know how to love people, turn around and call you crazy, a child molester, and more?????? WHAT????? HUH???? I couldn't get mad I was more confused. It hurts my heart to leave the people you love but what else can I do? When I tried hiding lol it didn't work!

I can do this, I know I can...pray that I find people who really love my son and me and support us in God...that is all I want, I just want to find my spiritual family.

 

[BFine]

You can't change people but you can change how
you respond to them.

I have lived in many different places and in two countries...
guess what? There was drama in all those places. People
will talk about you, I have pretty much come to realize that is
a given since "we" live in the world.

There are no perfect people, we are all flawed.
The key is to seek out the ones who are willing to
learn/grow and make amends when they mess up.

Live and bloom where you are planted.
Running away will not solve your problems...deal with
them where you are and with the Lord's help you can
overcome any obstacles-- just like David and Joseph did
in the Bible, the schemes of their kinfolk didn't thwart either
of those young men from achieving a better life.

 

[LoricaLady]

Some people like to get on places like Facebook and just be mean. Have you seen Cyberbullies? It shows that kind of mentality. Maybe that's not a good atmosphere for you.

I will be praying for you to find some good friends with whom you can have strong and mutally supportive relationships.

 

[HisW0rd]

You can't change people but you can change how
you respond to them.

I have lived in many different places and in two countries...
guess what? There was drama in all those places. People
will talk about you, I have pretty much come to realize that is
a given since "we" live in the world.

There are no perfect people, we are all flawed.
The key is to seek out the ones who are willing to
learn/grow and make amends when they mess up.

Live and bloom where you are planted.
Running away will not solve your problems...deal with
them where you are and with the Lord's help you can
overcome any obstacles-- just like David and Joseph did
in the Bible, the schemes of their kinfolk didn't thwart either
of those young men from achieving a better life.

I do not have those issues when I am by myself. Its like because I am around family and have to love and be around them mainly because of other siblings who get along with them and etc. Either way I will be forced to be apart of the drama. At least with strangers I have the choice to walk away. Family, its like I have to walk away from everyone just to get peace with one person.

 

[forGod1]

People without Christ can be really cruel. I hope you continue to pray about your lifes journey.

 

[BFine]

You don't have to be part of family drama either... you can still go for a walk with your child, go to your room, go call a friend etc.

I don't take sides with family and trust me I have some relatives who can be
bulldogs about some matters.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Drama is in North Carolina too. I know. I've been there and experienced it. I prefer my family drama at home more than I do the drama of other people in North Carolina.

 

[jimfish]

...
I can do this, I know I can...pray that I find people who really love my son and me and support us in God...that is all I want, I just want to find my spiritual family.

Hi HW.

I read your post with great compassion. I, as does our Heavenly Father, have a large place in my heart for single moms. I was disappointed with the responses thus far, so would like to point out some things from God's Word.

I was impressed by your referring to your "spiritual family." This is quite Biblical to seek out. As you likely already know, Matthew 10 and 12 tells us that Jesus brought a "sword" to try and sever us from our flesh-and-blood family, making it clear our family once we are born-again are those like-minded in the church we attend. Many or most resist this, so you are one step ahead of them as you are at least open to this Truth and perhaps God has even already written it upon your heart.

While I'm not so certain that ALL of your motive for wanting to go to NC is pure, and most likely (speaking objectively so don't take it personal as I of course do not know you) it is a mixture of the correct and incorrect. If we truly Love God, however, He takes the incorrect and uses it to His and our eventual advantage, so that's not too big a deal for now.

There's also that passage promising those of us who leave behind family and homes and lands and the like, for the sake of God's Kingdom and our pursuit of same, will receive many times such both in this life and the one to come. So I expect if and when you move you will be blessed.

I'm guessing, or at least hoping, that you already know what others' have tried to convey, that you will also have enemies in NC, and most likely they will be in the church, but that too is part of God's plan for us, a way of His pruning us to bring forth more Fruit of the Spirit (John 15).

As a personal testimony, 6 years ago God led me to move 1,000 miles away from my family and from the lands where I always lived and my ancestors for 250 years before me, and I was and am greatly blessed. It was best; it was God's will.

Lastly, God and only God can tell you whether you should move or not. No one here on this forum can advise you. We are to be led by the S(s)pirit in all things, even when it might not make sense to the natural/worldly mind.

So even if your motives are not entirely pure, I can read from your post that some of it is, and that may very well be enough for God to work with. And even if you do move and it was in error, I pray and believe that just like the Lord said in Genesis 51 was true of Joseph, He will take what may have been meant for evil/error and turn it around. Glory.

It's a life of faith, our beginning each day reminding God of Proverbs 3:5-6, telling Him that we are indeed trusting Him to guide our path and for Him to do whatever it takes to keep us on His path for us.

God bless you on your journey HW, jim

 

[HisW0rd]

Thanks, God told me to go to Charlotte 5 years ago and I just been afraid. Family do fuel me to go because I do not want them in my life anymore. I do not want to leave with any hate or anger...but either way I am at a homeless shelter here and I am at a homeless shelter in Charlotte...

I was thinking abut staying in Texas and not telling anyone but...eventually they will found out Im still here and what is the point? Its the same thing of staying here or going to Charlotte, I will still be alone with my son

 

[HisW0rd]

Drama is in North Carolina too. I know. I've been there and experienced it. I prefer my family drama at home more than I do the drama of other people in North Carolina.

Its easier to walk away when its a stranger versus family

 

[HisW0rd]

You don't have to be part of family drama either... you can still go for a walk with your child, go to your room, go call a friend etc.

I don't take sides with family and trust me I have some relatives who can be
bulldogs about some matters.

I really wish I could but they are the kind that tries to bring you in it even if your not in it! Just constantly trying to bring me down...I would have to cut myself totally off!

 

[stacymay]

I hope you find a home in NC. I live there and it's a really great place. Depending on where you go, you will encounter spiritual people and hypocrites all alike. You can't escape from it anywhere, so your only answer is to stay in communion with God and don't let all the "drama" hurt your relationship with Him. You'll find "drama" everywhere, so don't run away whenever you do, just try to rise above it because it's just people being judgmental and immature. If people in the SA are willing to reach out to you and help you, let them! Don't hesitate! Come to NC, we will love you here You'll see.

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

...

I can do this, I know I can...pray that I find people who really love my son and me and support us in God...that is all I want, I just want to find my spiritual family.

Hey sister, listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you.

If Jesus couldn't achieve to be loved and accepted and spoken well off by everyone, then what chance do you have?

Look at Jesus, He is hated by millions, spoken badly off, falsely accused and rejected. So if Jesus can't achieve to be loved and accepted by everyone, then what chance do you have?

And Bible says what happened to Jesus will happen to His followers.

Even if you were the most perfect person in the world, there would still be millions of people who hated you, picked on you, spoke badly about you, try to turn others against you etc.

So don't worry about those who speak badly off you, who needs them? Instead keep up your chin, keep up your hope, don't forget there are many beautiful people in the world as well, so keep searching for them and surround yourself with people who love and care for you, exactly as you are.

And remind yourself; "If Jesus couldn't achieve to be loved and accepted and spoken well off by everyone, then what chance do you have?"

God bless.

 

[BFine]

I really wish I could but they are the kind that tries to bring you in it even if your not in it! Just constantly trying to bring me down...I would have to cut myself totally off!

*Some of my relatives are like that as well...learn to stand your ground until you are able to find a job and another place to live.
Check into resources in your own state, perhaps there's opportunities in
another town for a single mom?

When I was in my twenties I did live-in work...another friend of mine was doing that and she had two dependents and zero family help because she wouldn't kowtow to their every whim.

 

[HisW0rd]

You can't change people but you can change how
you respond to them.

I have lived in many different places and in two countries...
guess what? There was drama in all those places. People
will talk about you, I have pretty much come to realize that is
a given since "we" live in the world.

There are no perfect people, we are all flawed.
The key is to seek out the ones who are willing to
learn/grow and make amends when they mess up.

Live and bloom where you are planted.
Running away will not solve your problems...deal with
them where you are and with the Lord's help you can
overcome any obstacles-- just like David and Joseph did
in the Bible, the schemes of their kinfolk didn't thwart either
of those young men from achieving a better life.

If people do not want to change their ways there is nothing I can do but walk away...sorry I am not going to spend another 5 years hoping for change. If they attack me they must not want me around! Plain and simple!

 

[HisW0rd]

People without Christ can be really cruel. I hope you continue to pray about your lifes journey.

They are Christians

 

[drjean]

The Salvation Army is a very caring organization in general (I'm sure no one is perfect there either). Go. They can help you get on your feet with that "6 months of needs" and you're good to go.

I hope you will stay in touch with the father of the child, who knows he may grow up as well? Is there no church where you are to speak with both of you about the responsibilities of raising a child? Just wondering, give it another shot before you leave the area?

You are not required to have people in your life that drag you down or trigger bad emotions and memories in you...even (and especially) if family. Until you are where you can cope and be content, let them be where and who they are...

I commend you on having this wonderful child, and for wanting to raise him well. Be sure to get into a church, even if you don't go to the Salvation Army (but truly they have so many resources to help you!) Don't worry about other people... those who don't help will always be there. Find those that will help.

 

[HisW0rd]

I hope you find a home in NC. I live there and it's a really great place. Depending on where you go, you will encounter spiritual people and hypocrites all alike. You can't escape from it anywhere, so your only answer is to stay in communion with God and don't let all the "drama" hurt your relationship with Him. You'll find "drama" everywhere, so don't run away whenever you do, just try to rise above it because it's just people being judgmental and immature. If people in the SA are willing to reach out to you and help you, let them! Don't hesitate! Come to NC, we will love you here You'll see.

But thats the thing, I do not have any drama outside my family. If I sense it I walk away and dont return. I never had issues outside my family because usually once I speak to that person and put them in their place. That is the end of it! With my family its like they are too high and mighty to listen because they are christian with nice homes and jobs? IDK maybe I am do not deserve their respect after 13 years of disrespect. Who knows what they are thinking! I am happiest alone.

 

[HisW0rd]

The Salvation Army is a very caring organization in general (I'm sure no one is perfect there either). Go. They can help you get on your feet with that "6 months of needs" and you're good to go.

I hope you will stay in touch with the father of the child, who knows he may grow up as well? Is there no church where you are to speak with both of you about the responsibilities of raising a child? Just wondering, give it another shot before you leave the area?

You are not required to have people in your life that drag you down or trigger bad emotions and memories in you...even (and especially) if family. Until you are where you can cope and be content, let them be where and who they are...

I commend you on having this wonderful child, and for wanting to raise him well. Be sure to get into a church, even if you don't go to the Salvation Army (but truly they have so many resources to help you!) Don't worry about other people... those who don't help will always be there. Find those that will help.

He is in Florida and that man will not step in the church. The only way it will work out between us if I marry him and submit to his every will and I do not want to marry a non believer, especially one who acts childish

 

[gideon123]

I was raised by a single mother.
I never knew my real father.
My mother was my hero ... she did everything she could for me
She also had major fights within her family, and also from the church (which did not accept divorce at the time)

The most important thing you can do is to build a happy home for your son or daughter. It does not have to be a fancy home. It just has to have peace and God's love. Forget all the people who are being critical or argumentative. If they won't stop hassling you - get them out of your life! It's a sad thing if you need to do that to family members. But if they won't be supportive and loving - they don't deserve to play a role. You are the Mom, and that's the important thing in your life.

Best wishes to you!
You need some good friends.
You need a couple of good neighbors who can help you a bit.
You need a church that will love you and accept you.
I hope you find all those things!
It will work out

Gideon123