Single and Loving it

[FaithOFtheBroken]

Alright guys and gals, I have stumbled across something recently that I have just realized...


About me..

Currently 25, have a wonderful family and church group and things are just going wonderful. I was blessed to play sports throughout college, but opted to only have very minimal girlfriends, despite a great deal of opportunities.

My concern..

I am completely happy being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it. I can honestly say that unless God dropped the perfect women in my life tomorrow I have no problems with staying single with my current line of work for as long as my mindset remains like this. However, family is constantly pressuring me to find someone and making references almost on a daily basis.

Question..

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children... Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?

The past..

Past girlfriends became completely jealous over even a conversation with the opposite sex, even it were a hospital visitation. Complaints of not spending enough time, which forced me to be that much stronger in my devotions etc. Completely limiting my outgoing personality and hindering any chance of an outreach etc.

Comments... would love to hear from others!

 

[sherri]

I'm pretty ok with being single but then I get on here and talk about it all the time . Then I stop being so happy.

I need to find another forum

 

[Tangi]

I got here (on these threads) only today, I think there are good things around here that I would ponder on and things.

So my sister, what's so upsettin about talking about it, I dont think there is someone who stand here, raise a rod and makes everybody to proclaims Single hood, is the best and nobody should get married.

Im sure I will get married, I aint no desperate, though but God knows better.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Alright guys and gals, I have stumbled across something recently that I have just realized...


About me..

Currently 25, have a wonderful family and church group and things are just going wonderful. I was blessed to play sports throughout college, but opted to only have very minimal girlfriends, despite a great deal of opportunities.

My concern..

I am completely happy being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it. I can honestly say that unless God dropped the perfect women in my life tomorrow I have no problems with staying single with my current line of work for as long as my mindset remains like this. However, family is constantly pressuring me to find someone and making references almost on a daily basis.

Question..

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children... Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?

The past..

Past girlfriends became completely jealous over even a conversation with the opposite sex, even it were a hospital visitation. Complaints of not spending enough time, which forced me to be that much stronger in my devotions etc. Completely limiting my outgoing personality and hindering any chance of an outreach etc.

Comments... would love to hear from others!

Well if you are happy being single then hoooray! So what's your point? I think you will find that most people on this forum aren't happy about being single and I am not taking shots at you but the last thing anyone here really wants to hear is someone all glumm and a go go about THEIR single euphoria cause most of the others' experiences are anything but.

 

[covenantwmn]

We are each individuals, the Lord has called some to singleness, it seems most however are not. Perhaps you're one who is, if you are content then that is great! Try not to let the comments and pressure get to you. So long as you're taking your cues from the Lord, you're good! And add to your prayer list those of us who would dearly love a mate.

 

[KritterCat]

I understand how you feel about singleness - my life is so full right now, with my career, my church, my horse, my friends. I start to hear these people complain about being single and I start wondering if there is something wrong with me because I do not want to get married at this time or be in a committed relationship. I think I would like to get married sometime - but I'm not sure. Whatever God's will is for me. In 1 Corinthians Paul even recommends that if you're single, stay single (1 Corinthians 7:8).

Rachel

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I understand how you feel about singleness - my life is so full right now, with my career, my church, my horse, my friends. I start to hear these people complain about being single and I start wondering if there is something wrong with me because I do not want to get married at this time or be in a committed relationship. I think I would like to get married sometime - but I'm not sure. Whatever God's will is for me. In 1 Corinthians Paul even recommends that if you're single, stay single (1 Corinthians 7:8).

Rachel

You MUST read that verse in context. If all people followed the example that Paul set forth at face value Christianity would be extinct within a generation. Paul told people also it was better to marry than to "burn". Which I have heard interpreted in different ways but the most common theory I have heard seems to be that burn refers to being plagued with sexual desires. I don't think you have to look very far to see what power and influence sex has on most people. Paul also added a dislclaimer that not everyone could accept the life he exemplified and that being because everyone has their own unique areas of gifting. Some people are gifted in the area of being single as Paul and I will add that I have met very few in my life. If you are one of those people please count yourself gifted but take care not to use your "gift" as a bludgeon to assault other people who cannot accept the lifestyle that comes so easily for you.

 

[KritterCat]

You MUST read that verse in context.

I have read this in context. Singleness is not for everyone, neither is getting married. I feel no need (to put it bluntly) to have sex nor am I lusting for others at this time of my life.

I don't think you have to look very far to see what power and influence sex has on most people. Paul also added a dislclaimer that not everyone could accept the life he exemplified and that being because everyone has their own unique areas of gifting. Some people are gifted in the area of being single as Paul and I will add that I have met very few in my life. If you are one of those people please count yourself gifted but take care not to use your "gift" as a bludgeon to assault other people who cannot accept the lifestyle that comes so easily for you.

I am not using this verse to bludgeon those who are not single. I am using it validate a brother in faith's feelings about singleness as well as my own. Why is this such a big deal to you if people enjoy being single? If this thread offends you, why are you bothering to read it?

 

[mina]

hmmm, I think we are all different and called to different things and we all struggle with different things. If you don't struggle with singleness, there's probably something else in life you do struggle with. Struggling with being single doesn't make anyone a bad Christian. I hate how lots of Christians in my real life judge each other on their degree or strength of their faith on if they are content on being single or not. True, whining about it and letting it defeat you are not good or productive things and is not what God wants for any of us. But I do think it's ok to be honest. My life is extremely full right now, i'm busy, I serve others a lot , I have a ministry, but yeah I don't enjoy being single. Does that make me less of a Christian in my faith? I think trusting God while you are struggling with something can actually help build and refine your faith. I hope that made sense.

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

Well if you are happy being single then hoooray! So what's your point?

Not exactly the tone that I was hoping for, or at least how it comes across. If I failed to address my question properly I will rephrase.

Pressure from family has been placed to find a serious/marriage relationship. They are trying to call my old female friends because they knew of their interests etc., or talk to the parents and try to have us, "bump" into each other etc. Past relationships, despite being with quote on quote "Christians" have left me with the notion that the only reason to get married is to have children. While this is wondeful, I just can't see any benefits from a girlfriend.

I think you will find that most people on this forum aren't happy about being single and I am not taking shots at you but the last thing anyone here really wants to hear is someone all glumm and a go go about THEIR single euphoria cause most of the others' experiences are anything but.

I truly am sorry if my Euphoria about being single brings about disgust or discontentment to those who aren't happy. Next time I will refrain from posting comments, unless it is concerning a recent breakup or how down the dumps I am.

On a side note, I completely understand what you are saying, but if I had the mentality of, "poor me" I would never have achieved what I have, let alone come through 77days of living hell and battling for my life in the hospital. But then again, most people have said or I have seen take the victim mentality all so often. I guess Lance had a different mindset as well.

in His grip,

Faith of the Broken

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

I understand how you feel about singleness - my life is so full right now, with my career, my church, my horse, my friends. I start to hear these people complain about being single and I start wondering if there is something wrong with me because I do not want to get married at this time or be in a committed relationship. I think I would like to get married sometime - but I'm not sure. Whatever God's will is for me. In 1 Corinthians Paul even recommends that if you're single, stay single (1 Corinthians 7:8).

Rachel

Rachel,

I think finally someone understands where I am coming from. Its good to know that my, as so kindly put, "Euphoria" is not offending, lol.

However, for clarification purposes during 1 Corinthians where he speaks of being single, that was without question for the time and the persecution etc.

Something to ponder.... wasn't Christ single until 33.5?

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

My question again, so people don't have to reread everything.

Question..

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children...

Personally I love being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it, however the parents and friends are forcing relationships on me, and it doesn't help that the girls are as well.

Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Not exactly the tone that I was hoping for, or at least how it comes across. If I failed to address my question properly I will rephrase.

Pressure from family has been placed to find a serious/marriage relationship. They are trying to call my old female friends because they knew of their interests etc., or talk to the parents and try to have us, "bump" into each other etc. Past relationships, despite being with quote on quote "Christians" have left me with the notion that the only reason to get married is to have children. While this is wondeful, I just can't see any benefits from a girlfriend.



I truly am sorry if my Euphoria about being single brings about disgust or discontentment to those who aren't happy. Next time I will refrain from posting comments, unless it is concerning a recent breakup or how down the dumps I am.

On a side note, I completely understand what you are saying, but if I had the mentality of, "poor me" I would never have achieved what I have, let alone come through 77days of living hell and battling for my life in the hospital. But then again, most people have said or I have seen take the victim mentality all so often. I guess Lance had a different mindset as well.

in His grip,

Faith of the Broken

Lance is also a self professed atheist. I am NOT offended by anything you are saying, I just wanted to illuminate the inherent futility of posting a thread describing your single experience as such. Again I reitterate "What is the point?" Yeah lots of people whine and moan about being single. I am actively involved in trying to change my single status so I am not down in the dumps but I will be the first to say that the single life is for the most part a waste of living energy in compare to a life filled with the challenges and rewards of companionship and love. If "Lance" were to go onto a forum of cancer patients and and post a blog about how his life is so good without chemotherapy he would accomplish about the same thing as the postings in question. People on any singles forum aren't here to bask in the experience of "oneness" any more than they go into singles groups to utilize their singles "gifts" to the utmost extent.

 

[Tink]

we're all so friendly today...

 

[sherri]

Lance Armstrong rocks!!

His autobiographies were unreal.

(and I get on this singles forum purely to chat to people because I spend a lot of time at home and this gives me a sort of social 'out' during the day). I think most of the people on this forum come for similar reasons.

 

[Arclight610]

Alright guys and gals, I have stumbled across something recently that I have just realized...


About me..

Currently 25, have a wonderful family and church group and things are just going wonderful. I was blessed to play sports throughout college, but opted to only have very minimal girlfriends, despite a great deal of opportunities.

My concern..

I am completely happy being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it. I can honestly say that unless God dropped the perfect women in my life tomorrow I have no problems with staying single with my current line of work for as long as my mindset remains like this. However, family is constantly pressuring me to find someone and making references almost on a daily basis.

Question..

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children... Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?

The past..

Past girlfriends became completely jealous over even a conversation with the opposite sex, even it were a hospital visitation. Complaints of not spending enough time, which forced me to be that much stronger in my devotions etc. Completely limiting my outgoing personality and hindering any chance of an outreach etc.

Comments... would love to hear from others!

You and me are in common! I really haven't had the desire to date because I have so many good things going on being single. I think its more fun just to have female friends.

-TJ-

 

[Dragoon]

Yeah, I get like that sometimes too, FaithoftheBroken. Unfortunately for me, I also get depressed easily, mainly because I feel the same way Solomon did when he wrote Ecclesiastes in that nothing in life really means a thing. But anyway, that's really cool, dude. It is a good feeling, I know.

I also understand what Deliberatetourist is saying, mainly because I didn't know what how to respond to you except with "that's really cool, dude". However, I don't agree with:

I am not down in the dumps but I will be the first to say that the single life is for the most part a waste of living energy in compare to a life filled with the challenges and rewards of companionship and love.

Where being in love and sharing life with someone is amazing, it's also overrated...like everything else on earth. In fact, I find myself enjoying life quite nicely being single. However, I would prefer to have a girl, but that's not to say that I don't enjoy singleness. Just that I long for intimacy.

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

Lance is also a self professed atheist. I am NOT offended by anything you are saying, I just wanted to illuminate the inherent futility of posting a thread describing your single experience as such. Again I reitterate "What is the point?"

I did pose a question, but I am sorry that I have failed to communicate this online. My regret is not highlighting the question. Lance being a self professed athiest or not I don't see as implying anything on how to live your life and make things happen and expect God to give you a silver plate.

A little more about me...

I have been through 10 operations and was suppose to be a double amputee. I was a semi-professional baseball player and was blessed to attend Christian schools throughout. I have seen it to often and it bothers me, because I know what God gives all of us. That if you want something, go out and get it. Instead of reading to often of Christians complaining that God didn't provide something. "Where is God" attitude. He gives us a body and if we are in Him he will direct us. That includes how you view things.

I have no idea what Lance being a proclaimed Athiest has anything to do with his drive.

Yeah lots of people whine and moan about being single. I am actively involved in trying to change my single status so I am not down in the dumps but I will be the first to say that the single life is for the most part a waste of living in compare to a life filled with the challenges and rewards of companionship and love.

I have absolutely no idea where this philosophy is coming from. Life is worthless without this so called, "love?" How many great Christians were in fact single? The multiple missionaries who are also. The thousands of souls saved, certainly would not say that their life is a waste of living without love, "Love." Or the choice of such. True love is through perfection and ultimately, "sacrifice" which is exactly what Christ is for us. You have to be in Love with Him, PERIOD. I will assume that this is worded improperly and will not continue on this statement.

If "Lance" were to go onto a forum of cancer patients and and post a blog about how his life is so good without chemotherapy he would accomplish about the same thing as the postings in question. People on any singles forum aren't here to bask in the experience of "oneness" any more than they go into singles groups to utilize their singles "gifts" to the utmost extent.

No, but lets compare apples to apples. The comparison would be a post saying, "I am in a relationship and its wonderful." Hopefully you see the correlation here, if not I am more then willing to explain in future posts. However, it wouldn't be looked upon poorly if Lance went to a Hospital and spoke to cancer patients saying, "its not so bad, we can do this and it will empower you. etc. etc. " But of course he doesn't do this, or does he?

Here is my question if it was missed..

"My question again, so people don't have to reread everything.

Question..

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children...

Personally I love being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it, however the parents and friends are forcing relationships on me, and it doesn't help that the girls are as well.

Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?"

Again, my most sincere apologies if my mindset and determination bothers or has bothered anyone here. That was never my intention, and was completely the opposite.

in His grip,

Faith of the Broken

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I have no idea what Lance being a proclaimed Athiest has anything to do with his drive.

Well you are a Christian and trying to relate this back to Christianity and belief in God yet you champion an example who is technically an anti-Christ figure considering how he rejects the authenticity of Jesus as Lord and Savior let along the existence of Him the Father, and the Holy Spirit as the sole figures of authority in the universe. Lance doesn't give God any credit for his tenacity or "drive". If you were trying to give an example of how a person can achieve success in the absence of faith in God then Lance is your man.

I have absolutely no idea where this philosophy is coming from. Life is worthless without this so called, "love?" How many great Christians were in fact single? The multiple missionaries who are also. The thousands of souls saved, certainly would not say that their life is a waste of living without love, "Love." Or the choice of such. True love is through perfection and ultimately, "sacrifice" which is exactly what Christ is for us. You have to be in Love with Him, PERIOD. I will assume that this is worded improperly and will not continue on this statement.

And I have no idea where THIS philosophy is coming from. Those people CHOSE their paths in life. I choose not to be single and I have every right to deem my life in any manner I want. I am not making nor did I intend to make an all inclusive statement regarding everone elses lives on the planet. I won't try to convince you that your life is incomplete without a mate and please don't try to suggest that mine would be fulfilled in it's current state if I just read the right Bible verses and adhere to the latest theological leanings whatever they might be.

Maybe the past relationships were the wrong ones, and have left my view skewed, but I just don't see what the point is to get married unless it were to have children...

Personally I love being single and enjoy the many freedoms associated with it, however the parents and friends are forcing relationships on me, and it doesn't help that the girls are as well.

Am I completely crazy, as I know so many people worry and struggle about being single their entire life. What are some of the strong points, assuming its a Christian relationship, to commit to someone this day and age?"

Well if you are a person who struggles with sexual urges it would be more beneficial to deal with those in a way that, according to the Word of God:

1. Glorifies the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
2. Fulfills our desires according to the holy framework laid out by the Law which exempts us from the penalties of sin if otherwise we were to employ masturbation and/or fornication in an attempt to satisfy those urges.

And please refrain from a tirade on how getting married for soley sexual reasons is wrong. I was married for 8 years - save it. Your original question was about the reasons or strong points of a person embracing marriage. If you don't struggle with sexual temptations then I envy you but many of us do. I went from having regular sexual relations with my wife for 8 years to cold turkey in a matter of divorce. You don't have to ask me twice which I would prefer - a romantic interlude on a moonlit night by the burning embers of a warm hearth, or a midnight jog in the pouring rain? I am well aware of all the rhetoric that is passed about from Christians about controlling your urges and such but one just has to look around at the rather high profile examples as of late (no names necessary) to know what repressed feelings will eventually culminate. And that is entirely what all methods that I have seen coming from modern Christian circles entail - repression and denial. That never helps anybody. I am sorry that you feel pressured by your family memebers and others into doing something you feel that you don't want to do but please don't take it out on the rest of us who often wish we had the members of the opposite sex pressuring us as according to you they appear to be.

 

[FaithOFtheBroken]

Well you are a Christian and trying to relate this back to Christianity and belief in God yet you champion an example who is technically an anti-Christ figure considering how he rejects the authenticity of Jesus as Lord and Savior let along the existence of Him the Father, and the Holy Spirit as the sole figures of authority in the universe. Lance doesn't give God any credit for his tenacity or "drive". If you were trying to give an example of how a person can achieve success in the absence of faith in God then Lance is your man.

Well I do somewhat understand where you are coming from, and I am sure Kurt Warner would be a better example, however this just does not hold up in any form of debate. I certainly would have no problem taking advice from Warren Buffet on financial investments that could ultimately better the kingdom of our Lord and Savior. Those are are successful in their respected field, but do not give God the credit are in my humble opinion still great models on determination and knowledge. During my Pre-Med curriculum, multiple times I did not agree with the philosophies instructed, however they have saved millions of lives. I am sure those saved would gladly take advice and do, when they seek the latest medical attention.

And I have no idea where THIS philosophy is coming from. Those people CHOSE their paths in life. I choose not to be single and I have every right to deem my life in any manner I want. I am not making nor did I intend to make an all inclusive statement regarding everone elses lives on the planet. I won't try to convince you that your life is incomplete without a mate and please don't try to suggest that mine would be fulfilled in it's current state if I just read the right Bible verses and adhere to the latest theological leanings whatever they might be.

I was in no way shape or form implying anything related to you, other then your definition of needing Love to be complete, this is something that ONLY Jesus can provide. Whether this applies to you or not, scripturally it certainly does.

Well if you are a person who struggles with sexual urges it would be more beneficial to deal with those in a way that, according to the Word of God:

1. Glorifies the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
2. Fulfills our desires according to the holy framework laid out by the Law which exempts us from the penalties of sin if otherwise we were to employ masturbation and/or fornication in an attempt to satisfy those urges.

And please refrain from a tirade on how getting married for soley sexual reasons is wrong. I was married for 8 years - save it. Your original question was about the reasons or strong points of a person embracing marriage. If you don't struggle with sexual temptations then I envy you but many of us do. I went from having regular sexual relations with my wife for 8 years to cold turkey in a matter of divorce. You don't have to ask me twice which I would prefer - a romantic interlude on a moonlit night by the burning embers of a warm hearth, or a midnight jog in the pouring rain? I am well aware of all the rhetoric that is passed about from Christians about controlling your urges and such but one just has to look around at the rather high profile examples as of late (no names necessary) to know what repressed feelings will eventually culminate. And that is entirely what all methods that I have seen coming from modern Christian circles entail - repression and denial. That never helps anybody. I am sorry that you feel pressured by your family memebers and others into doing something you feel that you don't want to do but please don't take it out on the rest of us who often wish we had the members of the opposite sex pressuring us as according to you they appear to be.

Completely understandable and respected for your directness that so many avoid.

Sexual urges are always there. I certainly could address the medical aspect of this, but it would be a bore. With that being said, in my original post I highlighted the fact that the relationship would be a, "Chrisitan" one. Assuming we agree that scripture says premarital sex is in fact wrong, marriage would need to be accomplished during a much younger age then this current generation is. Similar to earlier creation, where male and female was joined shortly after adulthood. This is truly the only way to avoid all sexual urges. If you study sexual peeks in males and females you will see the graph and realize this scientifically is just not realistic.

If in fact the entire purpose of getting married is to put your sexual urges into a remission stage, then I can understand your perspective.

As far as recent pastors that you speak of, I am sure you are referring to the major one in Texas I believe. That would be a completely new topic.

My most sincere apologies if my current state of endorphins caused any discomfort for anyone reading. My deepest apologies also for your divorce. If any words can be spread of encouragement or prayers they are with you and those involved. Thank you for your address and concern for the pressure that is currently being applied. I know the Lord will work it out, and like I originally mentioned maybe God has that right person for me and my perspective will change. But also as mentioned with past relationships and my current field I just find it difficult. On that note, their is only one "Love," that our Heavenly father can provide with his most precious sacrifice.

in His grip,

Faith of the Broken