Simple Marriage Question

[ALoveDivine]

If two people are married in the Roman Catholic Church, and then later on one or both of them convert to Orthodoxy, is that marriage seen as valid? Is the couple married in the eyes of the church or are they living in sin?

 

[gzt]

Of course they're actually married. It would be silly to view it otherwise.

 

[Antony in Tx]

What you will find is that the EO church is not nearly as legalistic/juridical as the RC church. I live in a mixed marriage. My wife is a Christian of the Methodist variety, but she agreed to be married in the Church, and the bishop blessed our union. There are several on here who have converted after marriage. This would likely only be an issue if a pastor from another faith were to want to convert and become tonsured as a priest...then it would be important for the wife to have buy in.

 

[buzuxi02]

We dont really have terms like 'valid'. If both of you convert and place Christ as your Head it becomes a sacramental union, if not you are still married according to nature and law.

 

[prodromos]

I suspect that the Orthodox Church would consider many anulled Catholic marriages as actual marriages.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I wondered the same thing when I converted. My priest said of course we are married. It's just not the sacrament of the Church, which I hope someday my husband would agree to, whether he eventually converts or not.

Though there is one lady in my parish who is, sadly, scandalized that I receive the Eucharist, I think. But that is part of another story that is hers and not mine.

 

[Antony in Tx]

from Orthodoxwiki.com -

Marriage service


Wedding at Cana
"For the Orthodox Christian, the marriage service (wedding) is the Church's formal recognition of the couple's unity, a created image of God's love which is eternal, unique, indivisible and unending. The early Church simply witnessed the couple's expression of mutual love in the Church, and their union was blessed by their mutual partaking of the Holy Eucharist.

When a marriage service developed in the Church, it was patterned after the service for baptism and chrismation. The couple is addressed in a way similar to that of the individual in baptism. They confess their faith and their love of God. They are led into the Church in procession. They are prayed over and blessed. They listen to God's Word.

The service contains no vows or oaths. It is, in essence, the "baptizing and confirming" of human love in God by Christ in the Holy Spirit. It is the deification of human love in the divine perfection and unity of the eternal Kingdom of God as revealed and given to man in the Church. There is no "legalism" in the Orthodox sacrament of marriage. It is not a juridical contract, it is a spiritual bond."


My wife and I were instructed by our priest that marriage is a vocation just like the priesthood or monasticism. He also taught us that the job of a person in a marriage is to look after with great attentiveness the salvation and well being of their spouse. If you think about it, this removes any question of "validity" and asks only "are you doing your job?" and if you are falling short (which is almost always true to some degree) it is the job of your priest and your church family to help you get that on track.

 

[ArmyMatt]

yes, they are married. it was done in good faith and to the best of the light that they had been given.

 

[Cappadocious]

It's a real marriage. Any notion that one has to be re-married in the Church after conversion is a recent innovation. One that is probably often performed to simonious ends.

 

[gzt]

I think it's a little uncharitable to make it as simony, especially as on the few times I've heard of people doing this, it's often just been some low-key affair rather than being treated like an actual wedding and therefore likely didn't involve a substantial outlay of treby.

But I do think the practice is silly unless it's done immediately on conversion, because otherwise, what are they doing?

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I asked Father at church if I needed to do some kind of marriage ceremony in the Orthodox Church to "validate" our marriage. Yep, this is 2 years ago and I still had legalistic residue...He said "absolutely NOT!" He said the chrismation we undertook blessed our marriage and our relationship with the Church and the Lord. He said, "you're fine!"

I think sometimes we overthink things, and we wish we had a time machine to know then what we know now, so we want to re-do things....But God is good.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I asked Father at church if I needed to do some kind of marriage ceremony in the Orthodox Church to "validate" our marriage. Yep, this is 2 years ago and I still had legalistic residue...He said "absolutely NOT!" He said the chrismation we undertook blessed our marriage and our relationship with the Church and the Lord. He said, "you're fine!"

I think sometimes we overthink things, and we wish we had a time machine to know then what we know now, so we want to re-do things....But God is good.

Maybe that's the answer.

Feelings don't really count for much, but I feel as though I'm living in a sacramental marriage - alone (the sacramental part). Which might explain why I hope my husband will come around someday. Maybe it's not the ceremony that counts, but the participation by the other person.

I certainly don't "feel unmarried".