Siblings close in age??

[christianmom89]

I have a question: Please read the whole thing.. my question is at the end!

My husband is in the military, and financially, we are in a comfortable place. We have a 6 month old baby, our first. We would like to have more kids (about 3-4) and would like our children to be close in age.

My husband is getting out of the military in about two years. When we do get out, he will be going to school full time and getting money for the GI bill. I will be working full time.

When he gets out of school, he will have experience (from the military, and a degree) and so he is expected to get a good job. And I will return to school..
I don't necessarily want to wait until I am out of college to have more kids, because I want to have them close in age and while I am young.

So FINALLY: I am getting to my question..lol

It would be good to have another baby now because I can have a baby that is close in age to my daughter, cheaper because the army would pay for it, and good because I am young... right??

What do y'all think? Is it a good idea to have children close together in age?

 

[epiclesis]

Mine are 13.5 months apart. The older one is now 19 months, and the younger one 6 months.

Quite frankly, I don't really wish it on anyone. It's hard. Really, really, really hard.

 

[gracefulone1980]

My children are all very close in age. When my youngest was born, I had three under three. I love it and wouldn't change it. I think having them close in age is wonderful. Everyone's experience is different.

 

[christianmom89]

Yeah.. if you don't mind me asking epiclesis, what did you find hard about it?

I now that it will be difficult, especially moving from Germany to the USA but I guess I just have the mindset of "we'll figure it out."

 

[OnlyBelieve]

I have three daughters, first two 16 months apart next one two years (due to inablility to get pregnant) sometimes it was hard, but mostly loved having them close.

They sleep same time, same toys, same routine, well mine were anyway. It is kinda quiet at home with only one bub now they are at school, (for bub too) we are planning another soon....will be 26month difference between youngest two hopefully.

We moved 2000klms twice with the youngest two, we figured it out...even the LONGest car trip
If you're geared for lots of washing, and early mornings you'll be fine
BTW when they get sick, they usually get it together, so you have to be prepared for that one too..sometimes, tis a blessing though, everyone gets over it quickly.

 

[MessianicMommy]

the prevailing opinion of the german doctors here is that it is very unhealthy for our bodies to be pregnant within a short period of time of another pregnancy, even if you are extending your nursing to 2 or 3 years. Our bodies are meant to rest between children and recharge.

I have 2 children that are 18 months apart. I've had bouts where I have had to parent them as a single parent, and I have to tell you - it is not easy, especially when they are sick. We have had 2 months of nonstop sickness. DH helps with the night time parenting, but I do the bulk from daylight to dusk.

There are of course benefits to their being so close, but the last 3 years have been hair-raising, and my health has had an awful downturn which has made it hard to keep up with both of them. Even with babywearing, even with cosleeping, even with constantly being together and the oldest starting kindergarten at 3, it has been very, very hard and hair-raising.

 

[epiclesis]

Yeah.. if you don't mind me asking epiclesis, what did you find hard about it?

I now that it will be difficult, especially moving from Germany to the USA but I guess I just have the mindset of "we'll figure it out."

Everything!
Being pregnant when your first can't even walk or follow directions is very hard. Going places with two alone is very hard - even when babywearing.
For the first six months of baby2's life, baby1 was neglected. I *had* to take care of the screaming baby, and that made baby1 lower in priority. He didn't like that.

I can't catch a break until naptime. Which is never guaranteed if one doesn't go down for a good nap. I don't have a chance to go potty or eat at all until at least 1 in the afternoon.

I could go on forever.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Hi christmom,

No one has asked yet what should be the biggest question, what does hubby think? Is he in alignment with your thinking? Do you each support eachother with this choice?
Have you Prayed together about it to see what Gods will is in this situation?

For us we have 5 girls i had my 1st 4 in less then 19mths! Although when i had 4little ones all at once that could not walk for about a yr, it was tough!
But i NEVER EVER would trade those days in for anything else, i will take everrynight sitting in the living room with 2of them so they would not wake the 2others! Only to finally get them in bed and me and 10 mins later the 2 others were up!!! But we got thru it! They are such wonderful kids!! God has Blessed us Beyond measure, especially when 6yrs later we were with child again!
That was harder, she was like an only child!! So much harder!!!

I have a question: Please read the whole thing.. my question is at the end!

My husband is in the military, and financially, we are in a comfortable place. We have a 6 month old baby, our first. We would like to have more kids (about 3-4) and would like our children to be close in age.

My husband is getting out of the military in about two years. When we do get out, he will be going to school full time and getting money for the GI bill. I will be working full time.

When he gets out of school, he will have experience (from the military, and a degree) and so he is expected to get a good job. And I will return to school..
I don't necessarily want to wait until I am out of college to have more kids, because I want to have them close in age and while I am young.

So FINALLY: I am getting to my question..lol

It would be good to have another baby now because I can have a baby that is close in age to my daughter, cheaper because the army would pay for it, and good because I am young... right??

What do y'all think? Is it a good idea to have children close together in age?

 

[GuitarMia05]

I had 2 babies 15.5 months apart. Pregnancy wasn't too terribly difficult except when I was in my last trimester and chasing around a 1 year old, it made for a long day. Even when my daughter was born the first few months were VERY tiring (Like I said...chasing a 1 year old and taking care of a newborn...made for very long days!). In all honesty though... I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm glad they are so close in age mostly due to now that they are old enough, they play with each other all the time.

there are honestly pros/cons to having them close together...especially when they are little...but in all truth, If you believe you can handle two...and as a family you and your husband are in agreement, give it a shot! Best wishes and prayers to you and your family

 

[Kimberly09]

I have a question: Please read the whole thing.. my question is at the end!

My husband is in the military, and financially, we are in a comfortable place. We have a 6 month old baby, our first. We would like to have more kids (about 3-4) and would like our children to be close in age.

My husband is getting out of the military in about two years. When we do get out, he will be going to school full time and getting money for the GI bill. I will be working full time.

When he gets out of school, he will have experience (from the military, and a degree) and so he is expected to get a good job. And I will return to school..
I don't necessarily want to wait until I am out of college to have more kids, because I want to have them close in age and while I am young.

So FINALLY: I am getting to my question..lol

It would be good to have another baby now because I can have a baby that is close in age to my daughter, cheaper because the army would pay for it, and good because I am young... right??

What do y'all think? Is it a good idea to have children close together in age?

I personally think it is up to the individual. Some people have a more difficult time having children that are close in age. That means if you have two closer in age you more than likely will have two in diapers or one trying to get out of diapers and one in them. The children are at two totally different emotional and developmental stages.

My girls are almost 4 1/2 years apart from one another, which for me was perfect. By the time my second daughter was born my oldest was already potty trained, walking, feeding herself, speaking clearly and was more self sufficient for her age. At the age she was, she was able to me more of my little "helper" than if she was still 100% dependent, her becoming the older sister gave her much more independence and her personality has blossomed immensely. It was my way helping my oldest transition to the fact that she was a big girl. Now, at first she went through a stage for about a week after we first brought her sister home, she wanted me constantly... but then after that she was the biggest helper

There is also a plus to having them close. If they are within 1-3 years, they more than likely will be in the same school together which might allow them to have the same group of friends. There relationship may become more close because they will be within the same age range and will be at closer stages and will be able to go through them together. I remember my aunts, they were all within 2 years from one another and they all hung around growing up with the same neighborhood girls and attended high school functions together.

Like I said, there are many positives. It is primarily up to the individual and what there lifestyle is. Children are a blessing and whatever God blesses you with will be a wonderful experience for you! God Bless!

 

[IAMstillis]

I currently have a 3 mo old baby girl and the idea of being pregnant again right now is terrifying to me (although i do want more children). My husband is working and I work from home authoring and publishing Christian children's books, and even with one and a very proactive husband it is hard. I'm praying for a two year respite before the next one. So my baby girl will be little more independent before becoming a big sis.
So in answer to you question i think close together is good... bearing in mind I think two years apart is close together.

definitely talk to your husband, take it to God in prayer and trust that He will make a way.

 

[cmarie423]

Personally I don't have a choice when it comes to having kids close in age because I want to have a big family and I have a slew of health problems, but! I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's great. The kids can all grow up together and play together. I've been around huge families my whole life. My Best friend is in a family of eight, and her aunt has fourteen. Plus with my family they all have huge families except my mother. She only had three. But I think if you think it's something you can handle you should go for it before you start working. Then they have time to grow up together.

 

[illudium_phosdex]

My two are 1 year 5 days apart. I did it on purpose. I'd wanted twins but when that didn't happen, I got pregnant as soon as I could after my daughter was born. I loved it. There were days that were difficult but not too often. If I had to do it again, I'd still have them that close. They are 10 and 11 now. I still love them being so close together. They are very close.

 

[IAMstillis]

To the OP there are going to be upsides and downsides no matter what. My brother and i are six years apart, and when he was first born it was a drag cause he couldn't play yet but from the time I turned13 we have been close and when i turned 16 we grew closer still.now I'm 26 and he attends the college I graduated from wee give rather advice.he's very mature as a result of hanging out with older kids all the time (me and my friends).

Any way i just wanted to share that with you because invade you don't get too have your children close in age doesn't mean they can't or won't be close emotionally. Afterall my brother is one of my best friends now.that's how we were raised though, to stick together and always have eachothers back.