Should I wait till marriage?

Dave-W · Dec 21, 2018

I believe in most cases we are not listening; so we miss what He is saying.

nonaeroterraqueous · Dec 21, 2018

I waited, and I'm glad I did. One thing that keeps coming back to me is the idea that a person who can be trusted to resist extramarital temptation before marriage is more trustworthy to resist it during marriage. That's one thing. The other big factor is the hormones released during the act, which emotionally and psychologically bind a person to all past lovers. There may only be two of you on the bed, but in her head and yours there will be everyone else. Each successive relationship suffers from the demise of all previous ones.

Considering that it's one of the most important decisions in a person's life, I would not take it lightly. I vehemently disagree with @Dave-W on the matter of choosing a virgin. There is scripture on the matter of not marrying or re-marrying someone who has been sexually impure. The fact is that your sexual purity can only be lost once, but never recovered. You can lose it by living loosely, or you can lose it by becoming linked to someone who has. I know that's a harsh condemnation of someone who made a mistake and regrets it, but everyone has someone who suits them, and one who has not waited is not entitled to someone who has.

com7fy8 · Dec 21, 2018

First, maybe we can put too many emotional eggs into one basket. Have you heard of the expression, don't put all your eggs in one basket? It means if you put all your eggs in one basket you could lose them all if you fall and hit the basket on the ground.

Like this, I think we can tend to make too much out of only one person. And that person tends to be someone we hope to use to make our dreams come true.

Also, people can tend to love only the ones they feel they can use for pleasure and other things they want for their own selves.

But Jesus says, "if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

So, we need to be about Jesus Christ's dream coming true, how we become like He is pleasing to our Father and we love any and all people, caring for anyone else as well as we care about our own selves, I understand.

And we will not learn how to love, then, by getting isolated with someone who is more like we are. We need our senior couples and widows and widowers who have matured for decades in how to share in marriage and love the way Jesus does. So, I would say now first make sure you are investing in sharing with such people who feed you their good example and they can see through you because you have gotten to know each other, and so they can give you real correction and help to find out how to relate in love.

And, of course, they will make sure you understand that God is the One in us who succeeds in doing the real correction and growing us to be mature in His way of loving. And the Bible all we have about how to become and relate in love and personally submit to and share with and please God. For one example >

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

This is a basic. And so there are tricks to keep our attention elsewhere, worrying about if someone is a virgin or not, possibly among other things. Rather, is someone helping you to get more real with God and get real correction to find out how to love? Is the person an example to you, while you are becoming more of God's example helping that person?

And if you get into loving like this you will be too satisfied to be concerned about using someone foolish for pleasure. But you will care about anyone who is so foolish, and offer your good example to help the person.

But there are ones who have given in to Satan, especially while they were in Satan's kingdom of lusts. Even so, ones of these can learn from their error and become more real and pure than maybe the child of a Christian couple. The child brought up Christian might be Christian only in culturing, perhaps one who has learned to copy-cat what he or she was told to do. And that person may not know how to love.

But Jesus says the one who is forgiven much will love much, right?

All4Christ · Dec 21, 2018

Please remember to address the OP only. The Christian Advice forum is specifically designed to only respond to the person who asked for advice. Thank you!

-All4Christ, Senior Ambassador

godinho · Dec 21, 2018

Marriage is about loving each other unconditionally and being there for the person and forgiving
fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com

Tetra · Dec 21, 2018

I waited, but I was 20 when I got married (16 years ago).

It's hard to give real and honest answers on this forum one way or the other.

My advice, read your Bible and come to your own conclusion.

EJ M · Dec 21, 2018

1 Cor 6:9-10
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
Looks very important to me for all, especially Christians. How much is your soul worth?
What will one give in exchange for the soul?

NeedyFollower · Dec 21, 2018

Brother ..we were given an apostle by the Lord Jesus Christ . His name is Paul . Follow his advice because he proved his apostleship through loss and suffering . It is better not to marry but if you can not contain yourself , it is better to marry than to burn . I personally feel that there is very little time left to do the Lord's work before He returns . Remember , when He returns , the woman you marry will be your sister in Christ as we all be brothers and sisters in Him. Do not marry for "attraction." I think dating is foolish ...two people with the hormones which still inhabit our carnal bodies raging . being left alone .

devin553344 · Dec 21, 2018

I personally wouldn't listen to surveys, they're total propaganda that are an attempt to control a public group similar to flyers during warfare. Basically the flyers say you're losing or something.

Anyways, God requires us to wait I should probably add that I waited when I got married.

Bible Highlighter · Dec 21, 2018

The Bible condemns fornication (sex outside of marriage). Follow God's Word and you cannot go wrong on the matter of intimacy. If you follow His Word, then God is more likely to bless your prayers for a real soul mate who loves the Lord as you do. If you care more about the carnal things of this world (than God), then what I say will not matter. But I encourage you to read those verses on fornication (sex outside of marriage) (Note: All you have to do a Google search and read a couple of good articles on the topic and memorize those verses). I was a few years above the age of 40 at the time when I married and I was a virgin. Note: I was a good looking guy, but I did not date a whole lot; And I was determined to only marry a person who believed in the Bible similar to what I believe. My wife also was a virgin and she was ten years younger than me. I prayed for several decades for the right one. God had brought me my other half who lived on the other side of the globe. So keep the faith and follow the path that the Lord has laid out for you.

yeshuaslavejeff · Dec 21, 2018

Yes, there is no hope in man - utter wickedness is acceptable every day in society.

Hope only in Yahweh (God) by faith in Jesus. He Remains Perfectly Faithful and True.

Swan7 · Dec 21, 2018

This reminds me of this flower:

Except like this: Who should I follow? God's ways.... or the ways of this world... God's ways.... etc.

It's really up to you. I wouldn't let the ways of the world discourage you, but if you truly want to follow God, He has the best waiting for you.

☦Marius☦ · Dec 21, 2018

If they are a virgin help them stay that way, if they aren't help them be repentant and have a pure relationship.

I didn't wait until marriage- I can't say I regret it because getting it out of my system helped me actually be a decent person. I've asked forgiveness and that's about all I can do other then try to live more purely. But in a society riddled with porn and sex on TV, unless you become a monk you are unlikely to avoid all of it.

Society is a little different these days and I think we just have to take what we are given and find someone we can help repent, and someone that will help you repent. Cynical yes but.

yeshuaslavejeff · Dec 21, 2018

Do you remember, or did you read, what Jesus told the disciples about marriage ?

It is a gift, from the Father in heaven. Not something earned or bought or deserved.

A good wife is near impossible to find ("there's not even one in a thousand faithful")...

So whatever is the Father's (Yahweh's) plan for your life, can you seek Him and believe Him and trust Him and do what He Says ?

Along with Salvation His Word Says , He Gives immeasurable, daily righteousness and peace and joy overflowing, that the world cannot grasp and cannot take away.

Tetra · Dec 21, 2018

I don't know if I agree Jason, I did everything I was told to do regarding sexuality. I didn't look at pornography, I didn't touch, and my wife and I waited until we got married to have sex. My wife and I were heavily involved in the church and even did premarital counselling.

Well, I don't need to go into exact detail of our wedding night, but I wouldn't say things "cannot go wrong", overall our experience was horrible for me and my wife physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Now our sex life is awesome but it took a while after we got married to undo all the nonsense purity culture indoctrinated us with.

I don't subscribe to this idea that everything is sunshine and rainbows.

YeshuaFan · Dec 21, 2018

You should ALWAYS obey what God has revealed for us to be doing int eh scriptures, and know that in this area can be very tough, but my wife and I waited until we got married, I was 33 and she was 30!

mama2one · Dec 21, 2018

Stone-n-Steel · Dec 21, 2018

It is best not to judge Gods intention by mans actions. Yes, God wants you to wait and you should make all effort to do just that. If you fail life will go on. Talk to God about it and let Him help you move forward.

Lost4words · Dec 21, 2018

Try before you buy! Lol

I am not sure what say in reality. I guess one should wait but what if the 'bond' is not there when you actually do have sex when married? What if the feelings are not there, the attraction etc etc?

JesusYeshuaisLord · Dec 21, 2018

Wait for marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:16
Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."

If you do it outside of marriage you will 100% regret it!

Should I wait till marriage?

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