Should I wait till marriage?

[Notmyname]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

 

[Dave-W]

Should you wait? Absolutely.

Do most people? Not at all. The 11% number rings true.

I found this interesting:

Battling against the “purity culture”

Emily Maynard, 28, a writer from Portland, Ore., has witnessed many of her friends rejecting abstinence, in what she interprets as them pushing back against the “purity culture,” or the conservative sexual and dating norms with which they were raised.

The Word says to not stray to the left or the right. "Purity culture" strays to the right by adding to the commandments a lot of unbiblical restrictions. But this reaction goes to the left by casting off even biblical restraints.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

Just marry someone young (less time/opportunity/temptation for them to give away their virginity). Waiting years to get married is a silly idea in my view, as it wastes the most fertile years of the female. (Guys can afford to wait in terms of ability to procreate, but for different reasons, I think it's beneficial for both sexes to marry young).

There are many other cultures which haven't been poisoned to the same extent most Western nations have. Even small Christian cultures in countries where other religions are predominant seem to take Christian values more seriously.

It's not impossible, it just depends on how serious you are about achieving that which you seek.

Oh - and obviously, wait until you get married. But my counsel is don't wait for the right one to come to you - go out and find her. And don't take years deciding if one is right or wrong. If you don't know within a year, chances are she's not the right one. Don't wait for her to change.

 

[A_Thinker]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

How will you feel if you don't wait ... and, yet, the marriage doesn't happen ?

 

[Neostarwcc]

One of the biggest regrets of mmy life was that I didn't wait until marriage. I know that almost nobody does and its true that I ended up marrying the person I lost my virginity to but I know it was still a sin against God to fool around with her before we got married. While its extremely hard to wait and almost no woman would ever want to wait if advise wait because otherwise you'll regret it.

 

[Danielwright2311]

Noo, its ok, go for it, lol.

With all kidding aside, wait, because if you dont the relationship is only based on going to bed with each other.

Being married is about loving each other no matter what and what a test to see if you can respect each other not to go there yet.

 

[Notmyname]

I feel like if I where to continue waiting and I found someone who didn’t wait I would feel kinda disappointed especially if the girl I’m with hooked up with someone from my church.

Any advice?

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

I feel like if I where to continue waiting and I found someone who didn’t wait I would feel kinda disappointed especially if the girl I’m with hooked up with someone from my church.

Any advice?

Probably true. Make it clear from the outset what your requirements are. Although some doubt virginity tests are 100% correct, many countries still offer them.

It might seem kind of strange for your prospective date that you require her to undertake one of these prior to dating you, but better safe than sorry, huh? I'm sure it will be something you can both look back at and laugh at in years to come.

 

[Mark Quayle]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

Haven't read through the replies, nor am I sure of what you are referring to. I have heard of some who say that, since one has become engaged and have promised to marry, in God's eyes they ARE married by the promise, so sex is ok. I disagree with this since it is a picture of Christ and his Church, the consummation will not happen until the "marriage feast" in heaven.

As for the rest who aren't even engaged, it is expressly prohibited in many places in Scripture, but to many people, for a long time now, Scripture is irrelevant when it comes to what they really want. I don't blame the kids. I blame the parents, their church, their teachers.

 

[Dave-W]

I feel like if I where to continue waiting and I found someone who didn’t wait I would feel kinda disappointed especially if the girl I’m with hooked up with someone from my church.

Any advice?

Yes. Drop your disappointment. We are all sinners in one way or another. To hold up one sin as a deal breaker (especially if it was repented of) is a form of idolatry.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

To hold up one sin as a deal breaker (especially if it was repented of) is a form of idolatry.

How so? If it's not a sin to disagree to marriage for personal preference, or the shape of a girl's body, or the colour of her skin, or 'cause she's not funny enough, or whatever else you want, how much more because someone else has already entered into a blood covenant with her?

This text (as it stands) logically says that it's idolatry to reject a marriage proposal, which is absurd.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I feel like if I where to continue waiting and I found someone who didn’t wait I would feel kinda disappointed especially if the girl I’m with hooked up with someone from my church.

Any advice?

Honestly? If it was a God chosen girl she would more than likely remain pure until you meet. I was a 27 year old virgin when I met my wife and she was a 21 year old virgin. She just barely didn't lose her virginity though. Luckily her ex boyfriend lived in California otherwise she probably wouldn't have been a virgin by the time we met. Idk more and more girls are getting pressured into having sex. Its kind of an epidemic so I understand your concerns.

 

[mama2one]

best to wait as you and your bride have something special to look forward to and it bonds you once you marry

you also have no one to compare to either which can mess with your mind or even disappoint you once married

 

[Dave-W]

How so? If it's not a sin to disagree to marriage for personal preference, or the shape of a girl's body, or the colour of her skin, or 'cause she's not funny enough, or whatever else you want,

Personal preferences are fine. But what happens if God sends you someone who is too fat or to too skinny; too dark or too light skinned; maybe too tall? If you reject God's choice you are putting your personal preference ahead of God. That is idolatry.

how much more because someone else has already entered into a covenant with her?

Casual sex is NOT a covenant. It is a sin plain and simple. Yes there can be a bonding at the soul or spiritual level along with the body coupling, but scripture teaches that bonding is to take place WITHIN the covenant; not that it is the genesis of the covenant.

To give it a seasonal spin: That is why Joseph would have had to divorce Mary, even though they had NOT had sex yet. Covenant was already in place.

 

[Dave-W]

This text (as it stands) logically says that it's idolatry to reject a marriage proposal, which is absurd.

Nothing in what I wrote should be taken that way. There is always the right of refusal.

But if God has made it clear you are to say "yes," to say no would be a sin.

The idolatry part comes in when it is a blanket rejecting of everyone based on one particular thing.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Personal preferences are fine. But what happens if God sends you someone who is too fat or to too skinny; too dark or too light skinned; maybe too tall? If you reject God's choice you are putting your personal preference ahead of God. That is idolatry.

If God told you who to marry. I believe in most cases, He doesn't.

Casual sex is NOT a covenant. It is a sin plain and simple. Yes there can be a bonding at the soul or spiritual level along with the body coupling, but scripture teaches that bonding is to take place WITHIN the covenant; not that it is the genesis of the covenant.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that. Sex is not only a covenant, it is supposed to be a covenant written in blood. Hence the focus on female virginity and all. Sure, some people might claim they didn't know, like they might sign a paper without reading it...

To give it a seasonal spin: That is why Joseph would have had to divorce Mary, even though they had NOT had sex yet. Covenant was already in place.

Yes. It would have been in place with someone else, if she'd had sex with someone else. This was why he was instructed not to divorce her. Because she had not entered into any covenant with someone else, so there was no need for 'divorce' (basically, cancellation of the wedding).

 

[mama2one]

God sent me the opposite of the type of guy I was always attracted to but when he asked me out, I couldn't think of a reason to say no and said yes

two months later we were engaged
he was the most thoughtful, kind guy I ever went out with and we just clicked

 

[Dave-W]

so there was no need for 'divorce' (basically, cancellation of the wedding).

No - it was not just canceling the wedding. It would have been a formal divorce with him giving her a formal GET, the certificate of divorce prescribed in Duet 24, and he would have had to support her livelihood according to the terms of their marriage contract - the ketubah.

 

[Dave-W]

God sent me the opposite of the type of guy I was always attracted to but when he asked me out, I couldn't think of a reason to say no and said yes

two months later we were engaged
he was the most thoughtful, kind guy I ever went out with and we just clicked

Amen. That is what I am talking about.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

No - it was not just canceling the wedding. It would have been a formal divorce with him giving her a formal GET, the certificate of divorce prescribed in Duet 24, and he would have had to support her livelihood according to the terms of their marriage contract - the ketubah.

Provided she or her parents could demonstrate her virginity, which, if she'd engaged in an illicit relationship, she wouldn't have been able to.