Should I send it?????

[Onwardclimb]

Hey all,

I found out my college crush's e-mail addy (its been almost a year and a half since we've seen eachother) and I wrote him a letter telling him about my crush, but I don't know, "should I send it?????" I mean we never really talked, but I liked him and had heard that he felt the same. Yet, I don't want to be forward, and if he REALLY felt the same, my guess is he would have told me, and would be seeking me out. NOT the other way around. *SIGH* What do ya'll think???

In Christ,
Onwardclimb

 

[desi]

You might want to start a bit slower with 'Hi! What's new. I just thought I'd touch base with some of my old pals before time pulls us further apart...' instead of 'I've loved you for so long. Wanna hook up?' He may be married, divorced, who knows what he's up to. If you send him a mushy forward email he may get scared and ignore it or shut you down if he's dating someone he likes. Start slow as a friend to see where things lead.

 

[Onwardclimb]

Desi,
You're right.

However, I didn't say anything like what you posted. I just said that I had some what of a crush on him before we graduated, I guess I was writing for closure and I thought that confession was the best way to get it and he didn't have to respond. Then I said that while we were in college I thought he was a cool guy and I made my goodbyes.

I don't know, I guess it was kind of a pointless message and I don't really need to send it, but I'm wondering if I should???

YSIC,
Onwardclimb

p.s.-THANX for responding Desi!!!!

 

[Kahnrtis]

Go ahead and send it. It's already written, and like you said, it's more for you than it is for him.

 

[Stanfi]

My advice it to pray about it and follow peace. If you do not have peace in your life until you send this letter, then go ahead and send it. If it is something that you need to do for you own emotional stability, and you feel comfortable presenting this guy with what you have written, then do it.

 

[ZiSunka]

Yep, pray about it, and maybe send him a hi message first, and see how he responds. You know, he even could be married by now, so don't do anything that would give away your feelings until you know where he stands.

But I've found that it's always best to throw away the first letter and write another one, because in the first letter, you're probably pouring out your emotions without realizing it, and in the second letter, you have more control over your thoughts and feelings and you can be more careful about not scaring him off.

Can you IM him to say Hi!. That's where I would start.

 

[Onwardclimb]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((ALL))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

THANX for replying!!!!!!

I will most definitely be in prayer about it. If it wouldn't be too much trouble ya'll PLEASE join me in prayer about this.

Lambslove,
I don't have IM and I'm not sure if he does, so I don't think IMing him is a possibility. I'm in a state of confusion right now as far as my motivation is concerned. I REALLY don't think I wrote the letter with hopes of starting something up, but then again it would be nice if something (even friendship) did result from it. We both graduated in 2002, and at the time of graduation I don't think he had a girlfriend or was making marriage plans, but who knows??? I sure don't...while he did have MANY MANY friends I'm sad to say that wasn't one of them.

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[ZiSunka]

I'll be praying!

 

[Onwardclimb]

THANX Lambslove *HUGZ* it REALLY means ALOT!!!!

YSIC,
Onwardclimb

 

[LifeInYou]

What would you lose by sending it?.......Take a chance.

I'd rather look back and say, "yeah, I sent it, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped but that's okay", then have to say "geesh, why didn't I ever send that thing!"

 

[Kahnrtis]

I know my past is littered w/ bonehead moves that I wish I should have done/said something, but didn't. Or did/said but shouldn't have. But I guess we all have those skeletons.

 

[Quiet Storm]

I'd rather look back and say, "yeah, I sent it, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped but that's okay", then have to say "geesh, why didn't I ever send that thing!"

I couldn't agree with you more. I've done it once, and not too much stemmed from it, but I can look back with satisfaction because I don't have to go on wondering "what if?" anymore. But I also agree with the others in that you should follow peace. I'm praying for you as well.

 

[esseJ]

What would you lose by sending it?.......Take a chance.

I'd rather look back and say, "yeah, I sent it, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped but that's okay", then have to say "geesh, why didn't I ever send that thing!"

I agree, nothing's more expensive than regret...(ok, maybe a house on the beach with a mariachi band might cost more)

Oh yeh, this is like two days after the first post...so what did you do?

 

[Onwardclimb]

I still haven't decided whether or not to send it. I know that what you guys are saying about regrets is true and all, but there's a HUGE part of me that would DEEPLY regret sending it if he has a horrible reaction to it...so, I'm just in prayer about it and waiting for my prayers to be answered....*SIGH*...one way or another.

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[the_man]

Desi,
You're right.

However, I didn't say anything like what you posted. I just said that I had some what of a crush on him before we graduated, I guess I was writing for closure and I thought that confession was the best way to get it and he didn't have to respond. Then I said that while we were in college I thought he was a cool guy and I made my goodbyes.

I don't know, I guess it was kind of a pointless message and I don't really need to send it, but I'm wondering if I should???

YSIC,
Onwardclimb

p.s.-THANX for responding Desi!!!!

Are you looking for closure or looking for a possibility? I ask this because it is very important to what you are going to do (or not do). Either way, as Desi pointed out, you should start slow. Catch up, with him, a lot has happened since you last saw each other. Thru this catching up, you will have a better idea of where he is with his life and the answer to your question might be a lot clearer. But before all that, ask the question to yourself before the question is asked of you.

 

[hotarugari]

Probably talking about strong feelings especially after not seeing someone in a while is not a good idea. You really have no idea where they are emotionally, if they are ready to taken on this burden of you liking them.

And I don't mean burden to be totally negative, but when it's more than a simple friendship, then it really takes on alot of thought for some guys. Some guys honestly wouldn't want to deal with something that strong that fast. It is much easier for a guy to deal with the "hi, I missed you" sort of letter, that keeps on a friends sort of level. From there you can express a little interest and see if he runs with it or not.

From what I've seen it's always better if the guy is the initiator of a relationship. Kind of a leadership role sort of thing.

 

[hotknikkels]

I have a question: do you see any future in this? I mean, if you send it and he likes you back!

 

[Onwardclimb]

Are you looking for closure or looking for a possibility?

the_man,
At this point, I DON'T know!!!! I guess what I'm looking for could best be defined as closure. What I mean is any reaction he could possibly give would in a way give me closure about him.

 

[Onwardclimb]

hota...,
Believe me in the letter I was NOT proposing marriage/courtship/dating. I just simply stated I had had some what of a crush on him in college. I agree with you though about men being the iniators.

 

[Onwardclimb]

I have a question: do you see any future in this? I mean, if you send it and he likes you back!

I TRULY DON'T know. In college, he'd stare and say things about liking me to everyone BUT me, but I'm like how true could that be if he never even tried to inniate something with me???