Should I say something?

[Ginger34]

My ex husband treated me pretty crummy when we were married. He was a great person while we dated (4 years) and we were married for 4 years. But something changed after the 1st year of marriage, I got saved and baptized. He had no respect for me, I became very sick with shingles and he wasn't there for support. Instead of coming home right away from work he'd stop at an uncle's house or etc. At first he'd call me to tell me than later on he stopped calling me. He would come home later and later each time. One night from having a high fever from the shingles he didn't come home til 2am. I was in so much pain all I did was cry. He left me for another woman and always said he didn't cheat on me. I dunno what happened between us and I have always felt he never told me everything. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 8 years now and the other day I saw him on myspace, he is married again (his 3rd) and has 2 kids. I ran into him on there by looking at someone else's profile. I have always needed closure from him and have thought about sending him a message but not sure if I should or not and if I did what would I say and if I did there's a chance he won't respond anyway. I'm happily married now to a great guy now, so I have no feelings for my ex and am actually happy for him for finding someone and having kids cause he always wanted kids. But there's a place in me that is always wondeing why did he do what he did.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I would say no. If you needed to know he cheated because you wanted to remarry, I'd say yes, but you're already married and he wasn't a believer and he's the one who left.

Some guys can't handle illness so that might've been what caused the beginning of the end. It doesn't make any difference now though. Let him stay in the past.

 

[BobW188]

You're happily married to a great guy; and you need "closure" from your ex about as bad as you need another bout with shingles. You're much more likely to reopen the door to the mess you're well out of.

 

[kate_spencer]

I agree with eat and bob, you're happily married now and so he is.. so I guess, there's no need to say something to him now. Just focus on your marriage now and do everything to not to happen again what you experienced before with your ex.. If he's really sorry for what he did to you.. he will do it himself, he's the one who left.. he should be the one to contact you for your closure.

Have a nice day and God Bless.

 

[DZoolander]

What kind of closure are you looking for?

The crux of it was - he wanted to go sow his oats elsewhere - with someone else. Why do you need to know why - after all of this time - and after you're married to someone else?

You're talking 8 years of being together - and 8 years since you last saw him. You're 36. That means you started dating around 20 or so. Maybe he felt like he got trapped into marriage too quickly and hadn't sown his oats enough. Maybe he felt that he took on that obligation too young - and you getting sick just compounded it.

Who knows.

I can't see any answer he could give as being anything you'd really want hear though - or how it would truly benefit in any way. I'm with the above people. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.