I find it interesting that you are here asking. Right up front I want to point out that you may not hear what you want to hear from us. We can be brutally honest, that honesty comes from years of walking in the shoes you want to walk in.
I love my husband to pieces. He is hard working, kind, dedicated, loving, committed, etc. He loves me and our kids and would do almost anything for us. I say almost because he won't go to church or be the spiritual leader in our home.
When I married him, people told me not too. They quoted scripture and told me God didn't want this for me or my life. I married him anyways. I was absolutely wrong, I acted in willful disobedience and to this day I bare the fruit of that decision. There will always be consequences for sin. Disobedience is sin.
Goals: To have children
- Where do your priorities stand with these questions, where are his?: How do you raise them? Do you go to Church? Do you pray before meals? Do you read Bible stories to them? Do you teach them about creation and evolution? Do you teach them how to pray? Do you allow them to participate in things like Halloween? Will they be allowed to drink alcohol? What kind of movies are they allowed to watch? Who decides what cartoon they can watch? How will they dress? Will you teach them that sex before marriage is right or wrong? Will you be able to teach them that Jesus is the only way to eternal life in heaven or will he want to teach them that good works will get them there? Does he want you to stay home with the children or work?
Goals: To give finances and time to the church.
- Where do you stand? Where does he stand?: Save for a new TV, house, holiday or give 10% to the church? Help with Sunday School or sleep in? Go partying on Saturday night or stay home and be up in time for church? Go to Bible Study/Kinship/Home group during the week or stay home? Give to missions or spend the money on something material?
Goals: Spend time in the Word, in Prayer and Devotional time at home each day. Do you want to do that? What would he think of that? Will he allow you to do that or will he be jealous because you spend this time with the Lord?
Goals: To follow the Lord's leading in your life? (for example: teach Sunday School, lead youth group, help in the kitchen, missions). Will you feel free to follow the Lord's leading? Will he allow you to follow the Lord's leading? Does he even care? Will he stand in the way of that obedience to the Lord?
There are so many things...right now, I want to put on a small addition to our home so that when my Mom & Tots group comes over for Bible study I will have room to house them all. My husband is completely opposed to this because he doesn't think its a good enough reason...sharing prayer time and studying the Bible is a waste of time to him. We have come to a compromise...I can do it but he will NOT be helping in any way, I have to pay for it, find the people to do it and oversee it. In addition to that, I still have to run my home, look after two children (one with special needs), cook, clean, do the laundry, etc. He will not help on any of these things because he believes that he has provided for us, and if I want extra then I must bare the load. Are you willing to walk in these shoes? It may not be the same issue but I can guarantee...there will be an issue.